An open letter...

lina1131
lina1131 Posts: 2,246 Member
edited September 22 in Health and Weight Loss
Dear 4 year old beautiful daughter of mine,

Why oh why do you resist brushing your teeth in the morning? YOU HAVE TO! It is not a choice. When I try to brush them for you, please open your mouth and stop biting down on the tooth brush. And yes, gotta wash that face too. Trust me, I do all of this because I love you.

P.S. No, you can't have a gumball at 6am.

Love,

Your sleepy mother

----

Dear Asshat that cut me off this morning,

Do you really think that cutting me off this morning was necessary so that you could change lanes just to go 5 miles faster than me? When we got to the red light, guess what, we were at the same place but I didn't cut anyone off to get there. So kiss my *kitten*, it was 6:30am and I was trying to wake up and concentrate on staying in my lane rather than going 80 miles per hour.

Love,

The chick that gave you the evil eye this morning

---

Dear Tall Non-Fat Peppermint White Mocha from Starbucks,

I love you,

Love,

Yours truly

--




Add yours!
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Replies

  • tiptoe6
    tiptoe6 Posts: 68 Member
    Nice! :)
  • jhandley
    jhandley Posts: 118
    Dear Family,

    Why must laundry sit on the couch folded for over 48 hours? I folded it the least someone could do is put it away...it will sit there until you do! :-)

    Yours truly,

    Mom
  • XFitMojoMom
    XFitMojoMom Posts: 3,255 Member
    awesome! My letter would mimic yours to your daughter... same age and same issue!
  • lina1131
    lina1131 Posts: 2,246 Member
    Dear Family,

    Why must laundry sit on the couch folded for over 48 hours? I folded it the least someone could do is put it away...it will sit there until you do! :-)

    Yours truly,

    Mom

    Dear Mom,

    We don't care that the laundry sits on the couch. We'll grab what we need and leave the rest to sit there and annoy you. It will sit there until you force us to put them away. Waiting won't do anything for you.

    Love,

    Your family.

    (That is what my family would do)

    :grumble: :laugh:
  • Dear loud talking children,

    It is 6am. Momma has not quite woken up yet. Please quiet down, and come sit down for breakfast.

    Love,

    Your Mom



    Dear screaming 4 year old daughter,

    I can help you zip your jacket. It is not difficult for me to get it started and then you can finish it. There is no reason to sit on the kitchen floor screaming and kicking. Just stand up and then we can leave. It really should not be an issue.

    Love,

    Your overstimulated mother


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  • VeryKerri
    VeryKerri Posts: 359 Member
    Dearest Teenage daughter,

    Why must EVERYTHING be about you, your day, your drama, your life? Sometimes mom has a rough day and doesn't want to hear your nonstop bable for two hours..... I love you and enjoy hearing your stories, but today is about ME!

    Love,
    Mom
  • Dear the stupid man in the pickup truck this morning,

    Was it truly necessary to tailgate me on a two lane highway? I was going 65 in a 55 - how fast do you need to go? BTW - I am glad you got stuck behind that Rig :-)

    Love,

    The lady in the minivan laughing at you!
  • lina1131
    lina1131 Posts: 2,246 Member
    Dear loud talking children,

    It is 6am. Momma has not quite woken up yet. Please quiet down, and come sit down for breakfast.

    Love,

    Your Mom



    Dear screaming 4 year old daughter,

    I can help you zip your jacket. It is not difficult for me to get it started and then you can finish it. There is no reason to sit on the kitchen floor screaming and kicking. Just stand up and then we can leave. It really should not be an issue.

    Love,

    Your overstimulated mother

    My 4 year old insists on zipping her jackets too. :heart:
  • lina1131
    lina1131 Posts: 2,246 Member
    Dear Co-worker,

    For real? You need to be THAT loud on the phone? Gah.

    Love,

    I wish you would STFU for a minute.

    ---

    Man, i'm happy this morning, huh? :bigsmile:
  • Dearest Teenage daughter,

    Why must EVERYTHING be about you, your day, your drama, your life? Sometimes mom has a rough day and doesn't want to hear your nonstop bable for two hours..... I love you and enjoy hearing your stories, but today is about ME!

    Love,
    Mom

    AMEN! I have two of them and it can be to much sometimes :grumble:
  • Dear Parents of the Kids that I babysit:

    I know that your life is hectic but please remember that mine is too. When you say you will be here at 7 but show up at 8 that hour is lost for me, that is an hour where instead of starting a chore, craft or time with my own child waiting. If you are going to run late please just call. Also, what you pay me each week is my income. You aren't able to go pump gas or buy groceries and tell the retailer you might just have to pay them next week, please don't think you can for me. My family has bills to pay also.

    Love,
    Your child care provider


    Dear Parents of My Own:

    I love you all and want to help take care of all 6 of you (in laws and step parents of course included). However, there is one of me. I am doing the best I can, most of you live far away and at this point I have to take care of you in order of who really needs me the most right now. So sorry mom but the father in law who had a stroke last week will come ahead of getting your Christmas decorations out on Halloween night. And my dear loving mother in law, I am sorry that we only came over 4 times last week instead of 5, it's just sometimes we run out of time.

    Love,
    stressed out but loving daughter/daughter-in-law
  • mm3898
    mm3898 Posts: 138 Member
    Dear All of the People Who Have Interviewed Me Over the Past Two Weeks,

    Please call me back offering me a job... soon. As in now. I'm not looking for a life-changing career, just a nice job that I like with good pay. I'm running out of money and all I really want is to be able to go to happy hour and not worry about glass numero uno of vino!

    Also, if you don't want to hire me (which is ridiculous given I'm perfect :-P), please call me and let me know. The waiting game is KILLING me!!!

    Love,

    Unemployed Chicky with a Need for Vino


    Dear Mr. Really Freaking Amazing,

    Please pick me. I'm going to go all Grey's Anatomy on you and give you the "Choose me, pick me, love me" speech pretty soon. Yes, I realize you've been with her for 2 1/2 years but if you could listen to yourself talk, you would realize how unhappy you sound. I think I'm pretty perfect for you and that you are for me. So grow a pair, and see what is GREAT right in front of you instead of what is familiar and safe!!!! I'll be waiting...

    Love,
    Falling for You Hard


    Dear Apartment-Mates,

    BUY TOILET PAPER! I've bought it the last few times, YOUR TURN!

    Love,
    I have to go!

    Dear Granola Bar,

    Thanks for perking me up this am.

    Love,

    My tastebuds
  • Scorpiomom222
    Scorpiomom222 Posts: 1,462 Member
    Dear creepy gym guy,
    Please stop watching me run while you sit on the leg press machine. You're kinda creeping me out, and now I wanna bring mace to do my workouts.

    Thanks,
    One of the girls you stalk at the gym

    Dear Casey
    My sweet one year old baby girl, please stop waking up 3 times a night. Mommy needs her energy to go to the gym at 5AM.
    Love you sweet kissable cheeks!
    Love, Mommy
  • Dear illusive inspiration,

    Why must you plague me with your tempting ideas, only to not give me any motivation to actually get them down on paper? It's really not fair that you put these things in my mind and immediately rip them away when faced with a blank page. Don't you know I have to turn in at least 20 pages next week? And 20 more the week after? Why don't you move my fingers to do your bidding? You've done it before. Have I done something to upset you? Whatever I've done, I'm sorry. Now, please, help me out.

    Thank you,
    Your humble instrument


    Dear foggy head,

    I gave you almost 8 hours of sleep last night. You shouldn't be so sleepy! I don't know what's wrong with you. I'm feeding you properly, and using you often. You need to wake the hell up.

    Your frustrated body
  • JodiS75
    JodiS75 Posts: 284
    Dearest Teenage daughter,

    Why must EVERYTHING be about you, your day, your drama, your life? Sometimes mom has a rough day and doesn't want to hear your nonstop bable for two hours..... I love you and enjoy hearing your stories, but today is about ME!

    Love,
    Mom

    Hallelujah!!! :bigsmile:
  • jhandley
    jhandley Posts: 118
    Dear Family,

    Why must laundry sit on the couch folded for over 48 hours? I folded it the least someone could do is put it away...it will sit there until you do! :-)

    Yours truly,

    Mom

    Dear Mom,

    We don't care that the laundry sits on the couch. We'll grab what we need and leave the rest to sit there and annoy you. It will sit there until you force us to put them away. Waiting won't do anything for you.

    Love,

    Your family.

    (That is what my family would do)

    :grumble: :laugh:

    You are ABSOLUTELY right! Sunday I told the 15 yr old to get the jeans out of the dryer......several hours later I realize that she in fact did exactly what I told her. Took the jeans out of the dryer and sat them on the couch! HELLO FOLD THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BF says, they are kids you have to be specific I said ummmmmmmmmmmmmm No I shouldnt its simple common sense I want them folded! ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

    btw: I have four girls in our house every other 7 days, 6, 12, 15, and 16, 12 and 16 live with us full time, the 6 and 15, come every other 7 days! HELLLLLLLLLLO LAUNDRY!
  • UpToAnyCool
    UpToAnyCool Posts: 1,673
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: I'm still laughing!
  • Dear Boyfriend,

    Would it kill you to put your dirty dishes in the dishwasher? Ya know by the time you rinse the bowl out, put dish detergent in it and then run water in it to let it sit, you could have put the freaking thing in the dishwasher!!!!

    Love, your girleyfriend

    And dear older sister #1, for over 3 months you know that I workout as soon as I get home from work and I'm not finished until 6:30 at the earliest, so why do you continue to call me at 6:00 to see what I'm doing????? What I am doing is working out and for the umptinth time, I am not stopping my workout to pick up the dang phone!!!!

    Love, your baby sister
  • Dafrog
    Dafrog Posts: 353
    Dear Step Brother and his girlfriend,

    Your both adults, get off your butts and get a job.

    Sherrie


    Yeah, if that was for real, it would be awhole lot longer; think I wil leave it short and sweet for here....lol
  • Dear 4 month old son of mine, please stop waking up at 4 am, you're really making things tough on your mother (PS i'm already gone by then, so no one say I should get him :smile: ) And also please "use" the restroom before you go to sleep so I don't have a disaster to clean in your crib in the middle of the night. Thanks
  • Bigpelly8
    Bigpelly8 Posts: 504 Member
    Dear Dog,
    Yes, you are the cutest dog on the planet, but it does not mean I have to freeze my butt off while you sniff everything up and down the street while trying to find a good spot to take care of your "business". Please, in the future, choose quickly so that I can get to work on time. There will be an extra treat in your bowl if you do!! Regards
    Your obedient Servant
  • VeryKerri
    VeryKerri Posts: 359 Member
    I just want to add that I absolutly adore this idea!!! I am laughing my hiney off at work and peeps are starting to think I have gone crazy!

    Thanks so much for making me feel better!
  • ohwhataday
    ohwhataday Posts: 1,398 Member
    Dear Every Mom That Thinks Their Teenage Daughter Should Shush Up,

    You are lucky to have your children wanting to talk to you. My mom never asked about my day, not once. I rarely told her anything that was going on and I always felt alone. It may bother you right now but who are they supposed to talk to, you are their MOTHER.

    Love,

    The Girl Who Always Felt Alone And Still Kind of Does
  • Scorpiomom222
    Scorpiomom222 Posts: 1,462 Member
    Dear Family,

    Why must laundry sit on the couch folded for over 48 hours? I folded it the least someone could do is put it away...it will sit there until you do! :-)

    Yours truly,

    Mom

    Dear Mom,

    We don't care that the laundry sits on the couch. We'll grab what we need and leave the rest to sit there and annoy you. It will sit there until you force us to put them away. Waiting won't do anything for you.

    Love,

    Your family.

    (That is what my family would do)

    :grumble: :laugh:

    You are ABSOLUTELY right! Sunday I told the 15 yr old to get the jeans out of the dryer......several hours later I realize that she in fact did exactly what I told her. Took the jeans out of the dryer and sat them on the couch! HELLO FOLD THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BF says, they are kids you have to be specific I said ummmmmmmmmmmmmm No I shouldnt its simple common sense I want them folded! ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

    You do in fact have to be specific. A teenager will do no more work than you ask them to unless they feel sorry for you cuz you might be sick. Pretend you're sick next time. lol
  • lina1131
    lina1131 Posts: 2,246 Member
    Dear Every Mom That Thinks Their Teenage Daughter Should Shush Up,

    You are lucky to have your children wanting to talk to you. My mom never asked about my day, not once. I rarely told her anything that was going on and I always felt alone. It may bother you right now but who are they supposed to talk to, you are their MOTHER.

    Love,

    The Girl Who Always Felt Alone And Still Kind of Does

    ((hugs)) You have 89876 mothers on here that will listen to you. :heart: :heart: :heart:
  • Bigpelly8
    Bigpelly8 Posts: 504 Member
    Dear Wife....
    I don't mind when you come home and complain about your day and the people you work with, but I really do not want to hear about customers, that I don't know, that have pissed you off, especially, not during the last 5 mintues of the game :-)

    Thanks,
    Your usually patient husband, but not now
  • Dear 2 year old Potty Trained Nephew,

    I love you I really do, but waking auntie up at 4am when she went to bed at 12pm just because you have to pee is not very fun for me. I know that you are very proud of yourself for using the potty and Auntie is uber-proud of you but doing the Potty Dance is not gonna happen at 4 in the morning, Regardless of the amount of whining you do. Also i am not watching Toy Story 3 ever again. Watching it 6,841,531 times in the last week is more than enough for me. One last thing Don't tell your mommy that I gave you a lolly every time you asked. That's our secret.

    Love


    Dear Sister,

    I was ready for your conference to be over the first day you left. Come get your child.

    Thank You,
    Sleepy Sister

    PS I didn't give him a lollipop whenever he asked for one. Whoever told you that lied through their teeth.



    Dear Bank People,

    Yes I deposited 26.12 in change, Yes I know how crappy it is to have to count all that change out and yes I know its not making your job easier but that 26.12 was to make sure I had enough money to cover my electric bill so deal with it. My life is difficult enough without your snide comments.

    Sincerely,
    Almost Broke Customer
  • Scorpiomom222
    Scorpiomom222 Posts: 1,462 Member
    Dear Every Mom That Thinks Their Teenage Daughter Should Shush Up,

    You are lucky to have your children wanting to talk to you. My mom never asked about my day, not once. I rarely told her anything that was going on and I always felt alone. It may bother you right now but who are they supposed to talk to, you are their MOTHER.

    Love,

    The Girl Who Always Felt Alone And Still Kind of Does

    Aww, hon. I know that feeling..... I remember my mom telling me "not now, I gotta do this." ugh xxXxx
  • TammyBee
    TammyBee Posts: 178
    OMG! You guys are freakin hilarious this morning!
  • brendansmom1
    brendansmom1 Posts: 526 Member
    I just want to add that I absolutly adore this idea!!! I am laughing my hiney off at work and peeps are starting to think I have gone crazy!

    Thanks so much for making me feel better!

    No lie!! I am literally laughing out loud. Hmmm...wondering how many calories "laughing my hiney off" burns? :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
This discussion has been closed.