An open letter...
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Replies
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They don't have a change counting machine?
Apparently it had jammed yesterday which sucks, I hate when technology fails and I was thoroughly sympathetic but it could have been done without the comments about broke people.
Go back today with $50 worth of pennies and tell them to kiss your *kitten*.0 -
Dear Rachel's 'puppy',
Thank you for trying to make it to the door this morning while you were throwing up, however next time try to make it closer? Slipping in your throw-up was not a fun way to start my work out at 3:30 am.
Love,
Mom0 -
Dear Cousin:
Your girlfriend is wicked skanky. Wicked. Skanky. It's not bad enough that she wore a white dress to that family wedding, but it was so short/tight fitting that I know for a fact she was not wearing undergarments of any kind, as did many of the other guests. And her beer gut was showing. And I'm pretty sure she stole those shoes from a stripper.
Love,
I Hope You Can't Catch Anything By Standing Too Close
AWESOME!!!0 -
Dear Cousin:
Your girlfriend is wicked skanky. Wicked. Skanky. It's not bad enough that she wore a white dress to that family wedding, but it was so short/tight fitting that I know for a fact she was not wearing undergarments of any kind, as did many of the other guests. And her beer gut was showing. And I'm pretty sure she stole those shoes from a stripper.
Love,
I Hope You Can't Catch Anything By Standing Too Close
Is your cousin dating my friends ex girl friend??0 -
Rough morning! I've had many of those!!!0
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They don't have a change counting machine?
Apparently it had jammed yesterday which sucks, I hate when technology fails and I was thoroughly sympathetic but it could have been done without the comments about broke people.
Go back today with $50 worth of pennies and tell them to kiss your *kitten*.
Boy, you're just pissing rainbows and farting unicorns today, aren't you? lol0 -
They don't have a change counting machine?
Apparently it had jammed yesterday which sucks, I hate when technology fails and I was thoroughly sympathetic but it could have been done without the comments about broke people.
Go back today with $50 worth of pennies and tell them to kiss your *kitten*.
Boy, you're just pissing rainbows and farting unicorns today, aren't you? lol
Girl yes. The ol' beotch time of month is heading this way.0 -
They don't have a change counting machine?
Apparently it had jammed yesterday which sucks, I hate when technology fails and I was thoroughly sympathetic but it could have been done without the comments about broke people.
Go back today with $50 worth of pennies and tell them to kiss your *kitten*.
Boy, you're just pissing rainbows and farting unicorns today, aren't you? lol
Girl yes. The ol' beotch time of month is heading this way.
goodness, I know how that is! I can feel mine coming on........ Stupid TOM0 -
Dear Weight,
We've had some good times together, you and me. We have enjoyed all the spoils that life has to offer, and it's been a fun ride. But the time has come for us to part ways. I know your gonna wanna hang on and cling to me, but it's ok to let go. I'll be fine. Please go willingly, because you don't have a say anymore.
Warmest regards and adios!!!
The new me0 -
Dear Depresstion Medication,
now that I am losing weight, and exercising everyday, can you please give me a break and stop trying to zombie me out when I get up in the mornings. I realize I need you to focus during the day, I realize I need you to sleep at night, but really? Really? Do you have to take away my desires, and have me putting the coffee cup in the fridge, instead of under the Krups machine? Do I really have to Zombie walk all the way to the bathroom every morning? Do I really have to stand at the bathroon sink for 10 minutes before I pick up the toothbrush to brush my teeth? You and I have been together for about 11 years now, and I think we should have a better understanding of what our relationship is. Get it together meds.0 -
Dear Weight,
We've had some good times together, you and me. We have enjoyed all the spoils that life has to offer, and it's been a fun ride. But the time has come for us to part ways. I know your gonna wanna hang on and cling to me, but it's ok to let go. I'll be fine. Please go willingly, because you don't have a say anymore.
Warmest regards and adios!!!
The new me
Ha Ha!! I love this:happy:0 -
Dear Boyfriend:
Thank you for calling Cousin's Girlfriend - who I secretly worry is hotter than me even though she looks a little like a used condom with hair, just cuz she is thinner than me- a dirty skank when you thought I wasn't listening. It kind of made my life.
Love,
Way The *kitten* Hotter Than That Wench0 -
Dear one year old daughter,
hi it's mom again! Please stop playing with your "stuff" while I'm trying to wipe the poop off your butt.
Love, Mommy!0 -
Dear Husband,
Why haven't you called me yet to say good morning? Thanks for leaving your dirty socks on the living room floor. I can't wait to come home and clean the mess up! Yay.
Love,
Your baby mamma0 -
Dear Boyfriend:
Thank you for calling Cousin's Girlfriend - who I secretly worry is hotter than me even though she looks a little like a used condom with hair, just cuz she is thinner than me- a dirty skank when you thought I wasn't listening. It kind of made my life.
Love,
Way The *kitten* Hotter Than That Wench
I can just see you whipping out that knife and saying "Welcome to Thunderdome, b!tch" haha0 -
YAY I want to play too!
Dear B!tch Next Door,
Next time you feel the need to give me parenting advice, don't. I don't think I will be as nice and considerate as I was the first time. I feel my son is doing well, and I'm a single step-mother, so up yours you old broad.
Dear Fiance's work,
I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU SO MUCH I HOPE YOU ROT IN HELL!!!!! You take my man away from me and our son, for what? there's no incentive to work 13 hours north, there's no living allowance, or extra pay, or more hours! You make him work in the freezing cold and you don't even give him winter gear! I hope he cheats on you!
Dear Alarm Clock,
I HATE YOU TOO!!! Why can't you just let me sleep? I know there's 5 of you ringing (on my cell phone) but seriously you're annoying. I think it's inhumane to go to work before the sun comes up.0 -
HAD TO DELETE TOO MEAN... OOPS0
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I think it's inhumane to go to work before the sun comes up.
AMEN!!0 -
I can just see you whipping out that knife and saying "Welcome to Thunderdome, b!tch" haha
It's the fatigues. I rock'em
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dear sweet loving children of mine,
can you please stop fighting, whining, complaining and being a general pain in the *kitten*? i know you are only 3 and 6 but seriously, lol, grow up already (i dont really mean this-dont bash me later)....i love you both dearly but i'm just sooooo tired of the crying and complaining and whining and fighting....just please get along, start listening and BE GOOOOOOOODDDDDDDD...
love,
your worn out mommy....
ps....mommy and daddy are going away without you this weekend to celebrate our anniversary almost 2 weeks late and grammie and grampa are coming to stay with you and we aren't telling you until we head out the door for the weekend....sorry for the short notice but i really cant handle all the complaining until we leave...0
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