An open letter...
Replies
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Dear husband,
is it really mandadtory to complain about my weighing food everyday. Yes i know you love me but your bringing me down with all your complaining .. and by the way of course i WANT ice cream and brownies but i just dont need them !!! Please look outside of yourself and realize that yes your irritated and my constant calorie counting but this is hard for me to and it isnt always about you its about me too and im not loosing weight to leave you so stop trying to ruin me !!!! i just want to be healthy geeeeezzzzz sometimes i just want to hate you !!!! I cook you what ever you want , take care of the house , do your laundry and practicly wipe your bottm daily all the while taking care of me our two kids and 4 daycare children so pleeaasssee please just give me a break !!!!
Love ,
your overlooked wife
Dear daycare children,
Miss jill is kind of cranky today so lets all just sit down and color quietly ...
No screaming , or coloring on my walls .. on the paper !!!
please and thank you
love
Your tired babysitter0 -
Dear daycare children,
Miss jill is kind of cranky today so lets all just sit down and color quietly ...
No screaming , or coloring on my walls .. on the paper !!!
please and thank you
love
Your tired babysitter
Dear Miss Jill
Kandace just peed on the floor and Evan is eating Ariel's boogers. You don't know it but James has head lice and Timmy has diaper rash from the runs he has this weekend. And don't look now, but Sara's mom gave her tylenol this morning so you wouldn't know she really has a 103 fever.
Love,
your kids0 -
Dear daycare children,
Miss jill is kind of cranky today so lets all just sit down and color quietly ...
No screaming , or coloring on my walls .. on the paper !!!
please and thank you
love
Your tired babysitter
Dear Miss Jill
Kandace just peed on the floor and Evan is eating Ariel's boogers. You don't know it but James has head lice and Timmy has diaper rash from the runs he has this weekend. And don't look now, but Sara's mom gave her tylenol this morning so you wouldn't know she really has a 103 fever.
Love,
your kids
lol ,. i luv that...... thanx for that
seems very similar to my daily life .... hahaha 0 -
Dear Husband
Why is it when I get home from work, the laundry is still in a pile on the floor waiting to be washed, dishes are stacked and the bed still unmade? You are not working right now. Get off your video game for an hour and help out a little! When I get home after 9 hours of dealing with customers, the last think I want to do is clean!!!
Love
Your Wife
Dear wife,
the clothes are still i a pile on the floor, dishes still in the sink and the bed is ready for making. Thank you for working today for 9 hours but when i woke up i was just to darn deppressed to do housework .. oh and i was afraid i have to write it as work done on my unemplyment (dont wanna loose it ya know not until i get a job) oh and today i made it to level 6 on my video game yeah it was so hard there were monsters and stuff... by the way i couldnt find any clean boxers today after my shower do you know where some are ...
love ,
your unemployed husband
haha this is how mu husband answered me one day when he was layed off and i was working outside of the home .. although he learned quickly he had to do something ....
hope things get better0 -
Dr Mr. (Will) Smith,
Please don't take this wrong. I mean no ill by it. I have loved you for decades. You were the first to understand my parents just didn't understand. You made that courageous move to live with Uncle Phil in California even though we know you were scared. You saved our planet from aliens and the wild west from the evil doctor. You have given us so much and asked for nothing (more than price of admissions, taxes and fees). So understand this is hard to say, you being such a love in my life.
I'll want to snatch your daughter up by her hair and whip her back and forth if I hear that song many more times.
k?thx!bye
I'm just reading this thread during breakfast and I almost spit my coffee out at this! Awesome!!!!0 -
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Dear Monday Mornings,
Don't take this personally but I hate you, I hate you more than you will ever know. I don't think it's fair that I have to work my *kitten* off on Sunday cleaning and preparing for the week, and then have to go to work on Monday. I hate that my alarm goes off 6 times in the morning and I feel like I just went to sleep. I hate that it's dark when I'm forced to get up, I hate that it's cold and I just want to snuggle down into my cozy blankets. It feels like the weekend is so far away! It's really hard jumping into all the work I have to do on Monday, because Friday is the busiest day of the week...Why can't we be like the Europeans and just have a 4 day work week? I'd gladly work Friday so I can take Monday off!
Sincerely,
Really tired and bitter0 -
Dear Mother talking to the SEVERELY overweight daughter on the train to work this morning,
Yes your daughter is fat, but she realises it and wants to do something about it. Telling her she is perfect just the way she is, is a lie! She is at risk of early death, diabetes and much more. She says she wants to join the gym or do some exercise some other way. Support her and let her know that you support her. The phrase ‘well, don’t do too much’ is not helpful. She was in tears over this issue, is probably getting a hard time about it at school and all you can say is ‘don’t do too much’. You are a bad parent. I’m sure you aren’t trying to be, but you are. Especially as you were letting her read Vogue. She will get body form issues from that magazine. Help her out, let her diet. Cook her healthy food or, if you can’t, let her cook her own healthy food. She will thank you for it in years to come. Be more supportive!
Regards,
Train commuter who was staring at you disbelievingly this morning.
As you can tell, she p*ssed me off no end0 -
Dear daycare child,
Thank you so much for going pee in the bathroom... but.. nest time
lets go on the big boy potty and not in Miss Jills floor..
thank you and good job !
Love
stepping in warm liquid gives me the willies0 -
Dear friends I met for breakfast this past Saturday,
I'm so sad that none of you noticed I have lost almost 20 pounds! I thought for sure you would since we haven't seen each other for about eight weeks. But somebody's gonna notice when we meet in January, even if I have to wear a belly shirt to show it -- they come in XXL, right?
Love,
Your friend who still loves all of you
Dear slightly smaller jeans,
Thanks for fitting, but your days are numbered. The next smaller size is lying in wait in the closet.
Love, my butt0 -
Dear Tony Horton,
My sister gave me her P90X DVD's I did the fit test and was surprised that I past. I intend on starting P90X Lean today. Please be nice.
Thank You,
Brave Face
Dear Blind Date,
At this point my standards are officially non-existent. All I ask is that you not have 50 million kids have a job and be relatively sane.
Sincerely
Not Looking for Romance0 -
Dear Mother talking to the SEVERELY overweight daughter on the train to work this morning,
Yes your daughter is fat, but she realises it and wants to do something about it. Telling her she is perfect just the way she is, is a lie! She is at risk of early death, diabetes and much more. She says she wants to join the gym or do some exercise some other way. Support her and let her know that you support her. The phrase ‘well, don’t do too much’ is not helpful. She was in tears over this issue, is probably getting a hard time about it at school and all you can say is ‘don’t do too much’. You are a bad parent. I’m sure you aren’t trying to be, but you are. Especially as you were letting her read Vogue. She will get body form issues from that magazine. Help her out, let her diet. Cook her healthy food or, if you can’t, let her cook her own healthy food. She will thank you for it in years to come. Be more supportive!
Regards,
Train commuter who was staring at you disbelievingly this morning.
As you can tell, she p*ssed me off no end
Alot of parents like this are codependant on their child's need for food. She needs to be needed, and giving her daughter food is probably the only way she feels needed. That poor girl.......0 -
Dr Mr. (Will) Smith,
Please don't take this wrong. I mean no ill by it. I have loved you for decades. You were the first to understand my parents just didn't understand. You made that courageous move to live with Uncle Phil in California even though we know you were scared. You saved our planet from aliens and the wild west from the evil doctor. You have given us so much and asked for nothing (more than price of admissions, taxes and fees). So understand this is hard to say, you being such a love in my life.
I'll want to snatch your daughter up by her hair and whip her back and forth if I hear that song many more times.
k?thx!bye
What song? LOL
I Whip My Hair Back and Forth
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymKLymvwD2U
arggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
OMG! I did not know that was his daughter! (I know--I am out of the loop!)
The video is even more annoying than the song alone! (I hate that song!)0 -
Dear 22 year old daughter,
I'm sorry but I had to do it. Your mother was looking for that debit card all night and half this morning. You had it. I knew it, and you knew it. It was only a matter of time before I ratted you out. I gave you plenty of hints this morning, but you insisted on playing innocent. I even told you to give it to me and I would plant it somewhere and convince her she left it there. But you insisted on playing out the charade. Why did I do it? Because you're at school this morning and I have to spend the rest of the day with her alone in the house, and I hate to waste our alone time. There are five of you for a reason.
Sorry she made you cry. Don't worry you're still my favorite, and I'll make it up to you because the other kids are boring compared to you. Even the time 18 year jumped off the roof and broke his foot wasn't as entertaining as half or your stunts.
Love,
Dad0 -
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Dear Darling 14 year old son,
We love you and find you very entertaining (more than your teachers do I'm sure) but please understand that when we tell you you need to change your study habits, we do know what we are talking about (there's that whole college degree thing going on here.) But, if you sneak downstairs to play XBOX after you are supposed to be in bed one more time, we will rip your arms off!!! Especially while your grades are in the toilet!!!
Love,
XBOX hating mom
P.S. We will never tell you where the power cord or controllers are until you bring your grades up 0 -
Dear construction workers in front of my window,
do you really have to get up at 5am so you can start to pound your sledgehammers on the ruins of what once has been the street at 7am when i just had a couple of hours sleep? Wouldn't it be much nicer to sleep a while and come to work at, let's say 12 noon? I would also very much appreciate if you could leave your giant robots - that must be the think that does the stomping earth shattering poundings on the ground - at home, you should work not play.
With love and kisses
Your grumpy non morning person who wants to sleep her 9 hours0 -
Dear 4 year old beautiful daughter of mine,
Why oh why do you resist brushing your teeth in the morning? YOU HAVE TO! It is not a choice. When I try to brush them for you, please open your mouth and stop biting down on the tooth brush. And yes, gotta wash that face too. Trust me, I do all of this because I love you.
P.S. No, you can't have a gumball at 6am.
Love,
Your sleepy mother
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Dear Asshat that cut me off this morning,
Do you really think that cutting me off this morning was necessary so that you could change lanes just to go 5 miles faster than me? When we got to the red light, guess what, we were at the same place but I didn't cut anyone off to get there. So kiss my *kitten*, it was 6:30am and I was trying to wake up and concentrate on staying in my lane rather than going 80 miles per hour.
Love,
The chick that gave you the evil eye this morning
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Dear Tall Non-Fat Peppermint White Mocha from Starbucks,
I love you,
Love,
Yours truly
--
Add yours!
That all sounds like me....especially the tooth brush one lol but its my 5 year old son must be the age lol0 -
Dear Self,
Why are you so hungry and tired today? You've already gone over cals for breakfast and are heading that way for lunch as well. SNAP OUT OF IT! Wake up! Eat right! Lose weight and get healthy! And for the love of Pete, drink your water!
Love,
Me0 -
Dear Blind Date,
At this point my standards are officially non-existent. All I ask is that you not have 50 million kids have a job and be relatively sane.
Sincerely
Not Looking for Romance
Dear Not Looking for Romance
You are a beautiful woman and deserve the best so please pick your standards BACK OUT OF THE TRASH CAN, GO IN WITH YOUR CHIN UP AND YOUR CHEST OUT, and KNOW you deserve more than what you wrote. I made you and I don't make mistakes.
Love,
God0 -
Dear Darling 14 year old son,
We love you and find you very entertaining (more than your teachers do I'm sure) but please understand that when we tell you you need to change your study habits, we do know what we are talking about (there's that whole college degree thing going on here.) But, if you sneak downstairs to play XBOX after you are supposed to be in bed one more time, we will rip your arms off!!! Especially while your grades are in the toilet!!!
Love,
XBOX hating mom
P.S. We will never tell you where the power cord or controllers are until you bring your grades up
Dear XBox Hating Mom,
My son's power cord is gone.
Love,
High Five0 -
Dr Mr. (Will) Smith,
Please don't take this wrong. I mean no ill by it. I have loved you for decades. You were the first to understand my parents just didn't understand. You made that courageous move to live with Uncle Phil in California even though we know you were scared. You saved our planet from aliens and the wild west from the evil doctor. You have given us so much and asked for nothing (more than price of admissions, taxes and fees). So understand this is hard to say, you being such a love in my life.
I'll want to snatch your daughter up by her hair and whip her back and forth if I hear that song many more times.
k?thx!bye
What song? LOL
I Whip My Hair Back and Forthhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymKLymvwD2U
arggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
OMG! I did not know that was his daughter! (I know--I am out of the loop!)
The video is even more annoying than the song alone! (I hate that song!)
Oh yeah. That's his girl. Probably takes after that horrible woman who stole him from me. Miniature stick bug.0 -
Dear Self,
I know 5am is really early. I know that 5am is nearly against your religion. We NEED coffee in the morning. Please in the future remember to put coffee in the filter before you turn on the coffee pot in the morning. Also, Shampoo goes on before the Conditioner. I realize it's Monday but seriously... Get it together.
Love,
You
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________
Dear Boy that has my Heart,
I came to the realization this weekend that the L word has happened while I wasn't looking. This is NOT FAIR. We've talked about this NOT happening. We're both scared ****less. When I wouldn't tell you what was wrong Saturday night it was because I was afraid if I opened my mouth I would scream" I F'ING LOVE YOU YOU BIG EMOTIONALLY RETARDED FOOL. JUST LET ME LOVE YOU GOD DAMN IT!!!" That said, you talk in your sleep... I love you too.
~me0 -
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Dear Boy that has my Heart,
I came to the realization this weekend that the L word has happened while I wasn't looking. This is NOT FAIR. We've talked about this NOT happening. We're both scared ****less. When I wouldn't tell you what was wrong Saturday night it was because I was afraid if I opened my mouth I would scream" I F'ING LOVE YOU YOU BIG EMOTIONALLY RETARDED FOOL. JUST LET ME LOVE YOU GOD DAMN IT!!!" That said, you talk in your sleep... I love you too.
~me
[/quote]
Dear me,
my now husband first said he loved me in his sleep too.. 0 -
Dear self,
Quit making poor food choices!!! Your migraine is gone, that was never a good excuse anyway. Start your healthy eating again! No excuses! Put down the funyuns!
Thanks-0 -
Dear people at work.
You mother doesn't work here...wash your dishes instead of piling them in the sink to get all stinky by Friday...also replace the toilet paper (leaving a square laid over the roll is not the same thing).
Dear me,
Quit obsessing about things you cannot change, accept your life and move on. Love yourself and what has been given to you.
Dear friends,
I love you but really do we need to put everything we do on Facebook. Keep the cute kid pictures coming but I don't need to know what you are watching on TV or when you had your last bowel movement (just kidding but you know the ones I'm talking about).
SIgned,
Totally obsessive compulisve clean freak who loves her friends but they drive her nuts0 -
Dear Husband,
I know you like to kid that as a stay-at-home-mom that i "don't work" so tell me then, why when i actually get some time away and YOU are in charge does the house turn into a total tornado zone?
Signed,
Monday and cleaning AGAIN.0 -
Dear co-workers
While I am impressed that you speak two languages fluently, if I walk in the room and you switch your conversation to Indian I assume you are either talking about me or something you should not be discussing at work. Either way you are running the risk of getting your head put through the water cooler you are gossiping next to.
Sincerely
One of the guys that has input to your annual review.0
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