An open letter...
Replies
-
Dear husband,
Would it kill you to do some laundry or put the dishes away every once in a while? Or at least put the dishes in the sink when you are up all night watching TV and my desk is covered in crap in the morning when I go to work. Oh, and food scraps and wrappers from whatever you microwaved last night do NOT go in the sink on top of and under the dishes. And, if you would like, I can teach you how to fill the ice cube tray instead of setting it on the counter empty every day.
I know you put in 8-9 work hours a day + an hour total of commute time, but know what ?!?, though my commute is only 2 minutes to the living room, in addition to a full day of telecommuting, my day starts whenever our 3 yr old wakes up (actually earlier) and ends well after he goes to sleep and I am still cleaning up both of your messes. And if I hear you tell me one more time that my "me time" is when I get up at 6a and go to the gym (while you choose to sleep in) so I don't need any weekend or evening time to myself or to relax, that that is your time, I will kick you in the baby maker.0 -
Dear Cousin:
Your girlfriend is wicked skanky. Wicked. Skanky. It's not bad enough that she wore a white dress to that family wedding, but it was so short/tight fitting that I know for a fact she was not wearing undergarments of any kind, as did many of the other guests. And her beer gut was showing. And I'm pretty sure she stole those shoes from a stripper.
Love,
I Hope You Can't Catch Anything By Standing Too Close
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
Dear Guy Behind Me in Line at Starbucks
I am really sorry that I cut you off in my rush to get into the drivethrough. Totally didn't relize that you were there! Hope that the free coffee made up for it??
Sincerly
b*tch in the car in front of you
Dear Wonderful Dog
You know you are not allowed water in the night. If we let you have water, we end up with messes in the morning. I am truly sorry that we have to be mean, but know that it is for your own good. Whining all night is not going to change our minds, sorry hun. If you learn how to drink water without drinking so much that you make yourself sick, then we will let you have the run of the house at night again.
Love
Your really mean person
Dear Body
For just once would you do what I tell you to?? I know, you don't want to get pregnant, I get it. But seriously suck it up! I am not taking these meds for the fun of it, they make me miserable. If you would just act like a normal body then we could stop with the meds and everyone would be happy! So please please please let this be the last month that I have to go through this??
Thanks
Me0 -
Dear Husband,
Why haven't you called me yet to say good morning? Thanks for leaving your dirty socks on the living room floor. I can't wait to come home and clean the mess up! Yay.
Love,
Your baby mamma
LMFAO! WORD - ARE WE WITH THE SAME MAN?
oh gosh - THE SOCKS in the living room!!! I want to KILL him! Socks EVERYWHERE! PICK UP THE FREAKING SOCKS!!!! :explode:0 -
Dear Guy-at-the-Gym last night:
I'm so happy for you for having such high self esteem and being so completely comfortable with your totally buck-naked body, but we really don't care to have to see your @ss and everything else God gave ya while you stand there for at least* 15 minutes catching the game at the marble half-wall separating the locker room and lounge area with the tv... pressing your junk up against the wall right next to where people have to bend down and turn their head towards you if they want to use the water fountain... I mean really. The stack of fresh towels is literally *right* behind you. How about grabbing a towel and wrapping it around yourself next time.
Signed,
Things that can't be unseen
lol Maybe he was gay and was hoping someone would make a pass at him.0 -
Dear Heater Guy,
Thank you so much for making sure you came right over yesterday and for being willing to go in with our big feroucious sounding dog, even though we weren't home. I really appreciate it. I also appreciate the fact that even though we only know you through your brother in law that you are giving us the parts for fixing our heater at cost instead of marking it up. I really really really appreciate it!
Love,
Chilly Homeowner
Dear Lisa (waffle house waitress who was cooking this morning since the cook wasn't there),
I know you were very busy, but my eggs were done perfectly and I really appreciate that- especially since every calorie counts, it sucks to eat food that's overdone!
Love,
Calorie Counter
Dear Daugthers one and two,
I love you to pieces, but please be nice to each other, Mommy only sleeps 3 hours at a time these days and your bickering is sending me over the edge. I know you both need more from me right now, but baby Aub is still little and right now needs me too. When you grow up, you guys will need each other, so let's love each other now!
Love,
Mommy
Dear Baby Aub,
Mommy loves you to pieces and has had a wonderful 8 weeks home with you, but next week as much as Mommy hates it, she has to go back to work. You will have to learn that sometimes you have to sit in a swing or a bouncy, because Daddy can't do everything else and hold you too all the time. One day soon, I think you'll have to learn to sleep in your own bed as well, b/c I don't think Daddy is going to go for us taking over the bedroom much longer. Your sissies were all in their own bed by this time and mommy really needs her rest for work!
Love,
A very tired Mommy
Dear Scale,
I hate the games you play with me and the control that you have over me. It is not nice to say that I am 3 pounds heavier in the morning and then when I go to show jon so I can complain that you show that I have not gained a pound. I know we have a love hate personal relatinoship, and I'm worried if you keep this up,Jon will take you away from me.
Love/Hate,
Wanna be that girl0 -
Dear Ex Boyfriend ~
You are pathetic. You may be a good father but you're a poor excuse for a man. You break up with the so-called love of your life in a text message and then want to know why you didn't get another chance???? Who DOES that?? You can pretend you are innocent and cry your tears but I know you solicited women on Craigslist and other places. I know you were inappropriate with multiple women while I was still far away. I hope you know that I did cry alot of tears and felt devestated, but my strength is building and you WILL NOT take away my dream of finding someone who loves, respects and cherishes me. I will find that person and continue to be the amazing girlfriend I am, and you will still be alone, treating women badly.
XOXO ~ Down but NOT for Long
Dear Mommy~
I love you so much. You are the best mother in the entire world. I just wish you understood that sometimes I don't have all the answers. I'm thankful we have such a wonderful relationship but when I hear so many of your problems, I start to feel like I can't share mine anymore. I feel sometimes like I'm taking care of you and not the other way around. It shouldn't be one-sided...we should be able to take care of each other at the same time. I feel guilty even posting this because you are, without a doubt, my angel and my best friend, but getting it off my chest to 5784935 strangers makes me feel better.
Love Always ~ A Daughter who Loves and Appreciates you More than you'll EVER know!
Dear Selfish Friend~
I understand you're going through alot of pain right now with the passing of your brother, but you aren't helping yourself. You claim your life is falling apart, but the lack of motivation, ability to keep a job, and piss poor attitude has been engrained in you long before he passed. The fact that you called me the other day and said you couldn't listen to my problems was hurtful and wrong. The fact that my Grandmother passed the SAME day your brother did and you dismissed it with an age comparison was hurtful and wrong. You need to stop waiting for someone to come rescue you and just rescue yourself. Eventually people will get sick of hearing you complain without ever wanting to take steps to change your life.
From the Heart ~ Your Best Friend Since Age 110 -
Oh Yeah-
Dear Asshat who was on the national news this morning,
I can't believe you had the nerve to say a Gov. could never be president b/c he was fat! Seriously!?! You used the word "fatso". Prejeduce against fat people is the last socially accepted form of prejeduce there is---thanks to all the asshats like you.
Sincerely,
Pissed off fatso0 -
Dear Crazy Neighbor Lady,
Please don't poke around my car while I'm in it, insinuating that I want to break into your house, just because I'm sitting in my car at night. I'm talking to a friend in the privacy of MY PROPERTY, NOT YOURS! No one is out to get you.
Also, please stop cussing loud enough that my kids can hear you. NOBODY is stealing your power. ESPECIALLY the lady in the town house that ISN'T connected to our complex! Ceasing the profanity and poking around my side of the town house complex would be great. Please stop taking the covers off of all the electricity meters and trying to turn yours back and TAKE SOME ANTI-PSYCHO MEDS!!!!
Thank you! And don't come near me again.0 -
Oh Yeah-
Dear Asshat who was on the national news this morning,
I can't believe you had the nerve to say a Gov. could never be president b/c he was fat! Seriously!?! You used the word "fatso". Prejeduce against fat people is the last socially accepted form of prejeduce there is---thanks to all the asshats like you.
Sincerely,
Pissed off fatso
Correction! Prejudice against gay people is the least socially accepted prejudice there is. lol0 -
Dear Fast food Restaurants,
I've had enough junk of yours! So stop giving me cravings and let me crave my home healthy cooked meals!!!
Love,
enough is enough0 -
dear fu*king idiot using the blower behind my office all fu*king day,
turn that shiat off....what is the purpose of the machine???? why must you spend the ENTIRE DAY blowing "debris" around? just leave it...it will blow away....ahhhhhhhh, finally you are done??? might i actually have peace and quiet for my last 2 hrs of work today??? please god, let it be true....
thank you,
a very annoyed worker...
PS-ummmmmm, the freaking weed wacker is almost as annoying - seriously how damn long does it take to do one area/yard???0 -
Dear Best Friends Wife-
Accept my early apology, even though I know your birthday is tomorrow, and that I have had your card made for months, and that a reminder went off on my phone...twice....I was simply so caught up in everythign these last few days to remember to grab your card on the way out the door so it would make it to you on time! Ugh!
Love you a million times more than his first wife ;]
Kris0 -
Dear TOM,
I hate you. HATE HATE HATE you.
Love,
So over it and ready for bed.0 -
Dear Cousin:
Your girlfriend is wicked skanky. Wicked. Skanky. It's not bad enough that she wore a white dress to that family wedding, but it was so short/tight fitting that I know for a fact she was not wearing undergarments of any kind, as did many of the other guests. And her beer gut was showing. And I'm pretty sure she stole those shoes from a stripper.
Love,
I Hope You Can't Catch Anything By Standing Too Close
LMAO :laugh:0 -
Dear Weight,
We've had some good times together, you and me. We have enjoyed all the spoils that life has to offer, and it's been a fun ride. But the time has come for us to part ways. I know your gonna wanna hang on and cling to me, but it's ok to let go. I'll be fine. Please go willingly, because you don't have a say anymore.
Warmest regards and adios!!!
The new me
I think you speak for all of us lol0 -
Dear fat cells,
I hate you. Now please go away.
Love,
Me0 -
Dear dishes from lunch, laundry and Christmas shopping-
Will you please just do yourselves already. It would help me out ammensly.
Thank you- (already) Busting my butt wife and mom!
Dear every single person on the road-
When I just so happen to be on the road too, will you kindly just get off the friggen road and wait for me to finish doing what I have to do, and pull into my drive-way before you decide to get back on the road.
Thank you- Mom on a holiday mission!0 -
Dear Cell Phone Using Chick,
Seriously? You nearly ran into me at noon. Quite literally since WE WERE WALKING IN A HALLWAY!!!! Hang up your damn phone and walk.
Love,
Fed up with the freaking cell phone0 -
Dear Cell Phone Using Chick,
Seriously? You nearly ran into me at noon. Quite literally since WE WERE WALKING IN A HALLWAY!!!! Hang up your damn phone and walk.
Love,
Fed up with the freaking cell phone
I got a commercial for you!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHlN21ebeak 0 -
Dear food,
Why do you have to taste so good yet be so bad. You spawn of Satan.
Signed
Man with Boobs
Dear Manboobs,
Why are you on my body. Am I that fat that there was no where else to go.
Heck if I shaved my chest, I could probably work at HOOTERS.
And seriously do you have to bounce so much when I brush my teeth.
Signed
Potential Man Bra customer.
:grumble:0 -
Seriously laughing out loud here! :laugh:0
-
Dear TOM,
I hate you. HATE HATE HATE you.
Love,
So over it and ready for bed.
Yeah THIS! My guy has a 4 day weekend and YOU decide to show up NOW??? F!... err well I guess none of that will be happening.0 -
Dear stomach, please stop growing and bluding over my pants. it hurts and makes me very uncomfortable. You are now a muffin top and you should be embarassed about that. Please become flat and sexy if possible
thanks
muffin top mistress0 -
Dear internet stalker(s) -yes I know who they are
You seriously have nothing better to do then comment on every status that I comment on, of our "mutual friends" on Facebook:laugh: ?! Just so what. . . I know your there, because truth be told I really couldn't careless what you look like or what someone of your stature has to say about anything especially in regards to me or my life because we are all just peachy. I am NOT your friend on FACEBOOK because I don't want to deal with your immaturity and teenage drama b.s. just leave me alone already crazy person. If I am not your friend in "real life" I'm certainly NOT gonna be your friend on facebook, for that very reason. . . you haven't grown up and you are a ****ty person.
You come off lately as very stalker-ish and obsessed for whatever reason . . in all actuality your making yourself look very desperate, jealous and crazy. You are the very reason my facebook profile is PRIVATE!
Please do us all a favor and get a friggen life already. . . the only person your dis-crediting is yourself and noooooo no matter how many times you tell people you've "changed" "mellowed out" "grew up" or whatever. . . your frieken full of it. I don't know that it's possible that you will ever grow up. The only person who looks and sounds fake as crap is you, you see, I don't talk a whole mess on people then go pretend to be their friend to get what I want. . . and then turn around and talk mad crap on that person again after I've gotten what I wanted from them, THAT right there my friends is a "fake" person and I wish so badly I could tell these dumb girls who believe that this person hasn't done this to you behind your back and still is doing this to you behind your back, because my husband tells me alllllll about the laughs and what is said, your equally as immature and stupid for falling into this crazy chicks drama, and trust me your gonna get burned too, eventually. Drama fuels that fire!
Grow up already! I can't believe you don't realize how pathetic you look:noway:
Sincerely- *Astonished Annie*
Oh and one more thing
Dear person who thinks you can trust anyone and that stupid things don't get back to me. They always do, I'm really alot smarter then people think. It's my secret weapon.
BE CAREFUL there's some shi**y people pretending to be your friend for all the wrong reasons!!
Thanks *The truth hurts Thea*0 -
Dear "Friends",
Why are so you so darn negative of my choice to be healthy. Why do I need to hide the fact that I am dieting and exercising when I am around you so you don't feel bad about yourself. If that is the case then you should quit eating all that crap and start working out too instead of trying to make me feel bad for doing good.
Why must there always be jealous haters that hate it when other people are working hard to do good at everything/anything??!?!??!?!1
Love,
The hated goody-two-shoes0 -
Dear Cell Phone Using Chick,
Seriously? You nearly ran into me at noon. Quite literally since WE WERE WALKING IN A HALLWAY!!!! Hang up your damn phone and walk.
Love,
Fed up with the freaking cell phone
I got a commercial for you!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHlN21ebeak
Oh. My. Word. I love all of the "Really"s.....0 -
Thank you to whoever started this thread! That felt sooooo good :bigsmile: I've got a few others I could get off of my chest too.
0 -
Thank you to whoever started this thread! That felt sooooo good :bigsmile: I've got a few others I could get off of my chest too.
Did you have to say chest.
(see previous post)
:laugh:0 -
Dr Mr. (Will) Smith,
Please don't take this wrong. I mean no ill by it. I have loved you for decades. You were the first to understand my parents just didn't understand. You made that courageous move to live with Uncle Phil in California even though we know you were scared. You saved our planet from aliens and the wild west from the evil doctor. You have given us so much and asked for nothing (more than price of admissions, taxes and fees). So understand this is hard to say, you being such a love in my life.
I'll want to snatch your daughter up by her hair and whip her back and forth if I hear that song many more times.
k?thx!bye0
This discussion has been closed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.3K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.2K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.5K Fitness and Exercise
- 423 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.7K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions