An open letter...

GorillaNJ

Dear Co-worker

I understand you graduated from Yale with a Masters in Planning. But why is it that I am always the one who "is confused" for the 30 minutes you explain how I am right... Then when you realize what I told you 30 minutes ago YOU are right and I was wrong?

Kiss my beanbag
Thnx
State College Grad

lina1131

Dear Husband of Mine...

:devil:

Love,

Your sick, stabby, and Irritated WIFE!

KendalBeee

Dearest Work Email,

Please connect to the server. Its been almost an hour and I need to send/receive emails to document my work. Its a hassle to continue my work and then have to come back and save/document all this crap later. I'll make a deal with you- you just have to stay connected for the rest of today and then you can have the next 2 days off!! How can you pass up a deal like that?? Please?

Sincerely,
Annoyed and underpaid (AGAIN! lol)

lilRicki

Dear God,

Thank you for my beautiful grandson. Pleae help me to be available to help when needed without overstaying my welcome.

Please also help me to remember that I made plenty of mistakes, and my kid turned out alright, so I don't need to be overly concerned when his parents make choices I don't agree with.

Signed,

Grateful for precious new life.

Dear Grandma,

Your job is to love me and feed me, that's it...and tell me the horror stories of my parents. You are the one I will come to for hugs and homemade cookies. You are the one I look for in the stands and wave at. Be happy that you get to come and go as you please, and the minute I poop myself you can give me "back"....Grandma's are the awesomest! I love coming to your house for a sleepover, even though Grandpa farts CONSTANTLY, I love how you teach me how to cook, and to take care of plants...i love how you're not my mother, yet I have tons of respect for you. You're already doing a great job by being aware that I'm not yours, but you're here if any of us need anything.

Love your new blessing

jenni185

Dear Wal-Mart cashier,

Could you please stop chewing your gum like a cow chewing its cud and attempting to speak at the same time? It is utterly disgusting and quite rude and I couldn't understand half of what you said.

Sincerely,
Grossed Out Customer

leynasheart

Dear Wal-Mart cashier,

Could you please stop chewing your gum like a cow chewing its cud and attempting to speak at the same time? It is utterly disgusting and quite rude and I couldn't understand half of what you said.

Sincerely,
Grossed Out Customer

It must be a requirement that they hire one at each store because we have one too....

GorillaNJ

Dear Wal-Mart cashier,

Could you please stop chewing your gum like a cow chewing its cud and attempting to speak at the same time? It is utterly disgusting and quite rude and I couldn't understand half of what you said.

Sincerely,
Grossed Out Customer

Dear Grossed Out Customer

Be happy they spoke English...

Sincerely
Huh?

toots99

Dear Regulars at My Gym,

I think it's cute that you notice when someone doesn't show up for a day or two, and you inquire about it.

Signed,
One Of The Regulars Who Notices

Unknown

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Gogo76

Dear Mucus,

I. hate. you.

I know that my head is a cool place to hang out, but seriously, you have overstayed your welcome. You are making me want to swallow sandpaper to stop the annoying tickle/itch thing going on in my throat. It is incredibly annoying that I feel like I have to blow my nose all the time, yet you never come out. I am tired of flip-flopping all night in bed because you think it is funny to take up residence in only one nostril at a time. If I have to explain to one more customer that I can't speak up because I am losing my voice and at best right now I sound like a man, I will lose my *kitten*!! I have taken so much OTC medicine that I think I am immune to it now, and yet you are still not gone. If I have to swallow one more tbsp. of honey before bed, I think I might vomit.

Please, please, please go away and don't ever come back.

Signed,
Seriously get the *&^k out!!

Gogo76

Dearest Kitty,
I love you . More than ANYTHING in the world. You're my girl and you're my BEST friend. You love me fat or thin, smelly or clean. I know we have good talks all the time but WHY are you sitting here YOWLING at me? I know for a fact you've got food, I just cleaned and refilled your water dish, I've offered you my lap for snuggles, I've rubbed your tummy.. what gives? Are you trying to make me crazy? I love you to peices but I want to choke you. SHUT UP!!

Love,
Your adoring mom

Dear Adoring mom

I'm a cat! It's my job.

Love your adoring Kittie

ps: I can't remember where I left my half eaten mouse. Have you seen it?

P.S.S. I puked up a hairball under your bed......don't get pissy, it's a present!

Mindful_Trent

Dear boyfriend,

I really wish you would quit calling yourself fat, and insisting that you're fatter than I am. You're not. I don't know if you're doing it to be funny or if you're serious, but it's getting very old, very quickly. You're a good 3 inches taller than I am, and you weigh 25 to 30 pounds less than I do. Do the math... you're an intelligent person, so I don't understand why you keep saying you're fatter than I am. I'm sure this is probably due to your self-esteem problems - but here's some news: it doesn't help anything when you constantly speak down to yourself. Doing that by comparing yourself to me just makes me feel uncomfortable. I've tried ignoring you and I've tried simply stating that you're being silly and letting it go... but it keeps coming up. I hope you let this go soon, too.

Love,
Me (who wishes you could see you through my eyes - you do NOT need to lose 40 pounds...maybe 25 at the most!)

Shash27

Dear Co-worker,

For real? You need to be THAT loud on the phone? Gah.

Love,

I wish you would STFU for a minute.

---
OMG!!! LMAO!! That would have been mine!!!!
Man, i'm happy this morning, huh? :bigsmile:

Shash27

Dearest Kitty,
I love you . More than ANYTHING in the world. You're my girl and you're my BEST friend. You love me fat or thin, smelly or clean. I know we have good talks all the time but WHY are you sitting here YOWLING at me? I know for a fact you've got food, I just cleaned and refilled your water dish, I've offered you my lap for snuggles, I've rubbed your tummy.. what gives? Are you trying to make me crazy? I love you to peices but I want to choke you. SHUT UP!!

Love,
Your adoring mom

Dear Adoring mom

I'm a cat! It's my job.

Love your adoring Kittie

ps: I can't remember where I left my half eaten mouse. Have you seen it?

P.S.S. I puked up a hairball under your bed......don't get pissy, it's a present!

AMAZING...that's my kitty to a T :-)

Shash27

Dear Girl at the Front Desk at 24 Hour Fitness,

Thank you for learning my name! It makes me feel good to hear you say "Hi Shannon! How are you??". It makes me feel like I've REALLY made this whole fitness thing a routine. I promise to learn yours the next time I go. You're excellent.

Love,

Shannon

Shash27

Dear Guy-at-the-Gym last night:

I'm so happy for you for having such high self esteem and being so completely comfortable with your totally buck-naked body, but we really don't care to have to see your @ss and everything else God gave ya while you stand there for at least* 15 minutes catching the game at the marble half-wall separating the locker room and lounge area with the tv... pressing your junk up against the wall right next to where people have to bend down and turn their head towards you if they want to use the water fountain... I mean really. The stack of fresh towels is literally *right* behind you. How about grabbing a towel and wrapping it around yourself next time.

Signed,
Things that can't be unseen

Crying I'm laughing so hard!!!!

just4peachy

You know who you are,

You are 26 years old, you live at home, the only household contribution you make is to pay for cable (not cable, internet & phone- just cable). Your parents co-signed for your car and still pay your insurance. You don't even buy your own groceries. Are you seriously critcizing the exact portion your brother paid of the family cell phone plan you are ALL on? You didn't have a single thing to say when he paid the entire thing for FIVE months but he pays $8 short of his share this month (because he's an idiot that can't count) & you start blowing up both of our phones about helping out your parents? Do you really think we don't do anything? It might be time to grow up.

Just can't wait to be your sister...

burbmama

Dear Santa....

burbmama

Dear Santa....
This is a request for the holder of me, the F'd up back..She is tired of me and how much pain I am putting her in...Could you just replace her for me for Christmas since I dont have any hands...P.S. If they stick another needle in me, you are going to be the one getting coal and water instead of milk and cookies..

Sincerely,
Irritating slacker that loves to cause pain

AmberElaine84

Dear Son,

I realize that you 1) just turned ONE, 2) are a BOY, and 3) are loving your new found talent of walking, but you have me STRESSED to the MAX!!! JUST because you figured out how to open the toilet bowl lid in the bathroom does NOT mean you are supposed to bathe in the toilet water, or shower the bathroom with the drips of toilet water off of your flailing arms when I pull you OUT of the toilet water. Just because you are still breastfeeding does NOT mean you can put both hands down my shirt in public, try to rip out my boob and go to town. It's kinda embarrassing! I love that you have somehow managed to catch the ONE time I forgot to close the cabinet door behind me in the kitchen, and you pulled out my bleach, toilet bowl cleaner, and splattered the bottle of Windex all over the floor, just to get to the cleaning toothbrush in the BACK of the cabinet. And WHILE I am on my hands and knees cleaning up the Windex before you splash in it, you are laughing and jumping on my back yelling "MAAMAAMAAMAAMAAA!!!" You are the light of my life, but I enjoy my eyelashes being firmly attached to my eyelids, and I greatly appreciate my ears in the spot that God placed them, permanently!! And JUST because your sister is sporting beautiful, curly pigtails and is sitting RIGHT in front of you watching her favorite Dora episode, does NOT mean you should sneak up behind her and yoink those suckers as hard as you can and laugh when she squeals in pain!!

Love,
Your very flustered, but adoring mother.

sweetie89207

this is one of the best topics EVER!

givprayz

Dear Brothers and Cousins,
Remember our Aunt who put together all those fabulous holiday dinners over the years, and was largely responsible for all of us growing up feeling loved and supported? The one who asked how our days were, and really cared about our answers? The one who provided the regular notes and newspaper clippings in the mail? The one who always had a Sunday night dinner for whoever could make it that night? The one who opened her home, her arms and her heart whenever we needed it?

Now that she is nearly 98 years old, where the he!! are you? She would love to hear from you. She keeps asking me where you are, how you are, and when she will see you next. True, her memory is failing and physically she can't do as much as she used to be able to do, but she still knows that most of you have abandoned her.

You older two boy cousins and your families, you live 5 hours away by car, but one of your kids is now going to college about an hour away, and all of you visit him regularly and NEVER ONCE have you bothered to call or drop by to visit our Aunt. When your Mom died way too early in all of our lives, Aunt stood in and did what she could to plug that huge, gaping hole. Your behavior doesn't show much in the way of thanks.

You, the next oldest. brother.. moving your family halfway across the country did NOT make your phone stop functioning, and I know for a fact that the postal service picks up from your area, as well as delivering the checks Aunt sends to your kids for every birthday and holiday (for which she has NEVER heard a thank you of any kind!), so it would be possible for you to send an occasional note. I'm guessing that someday your kids will ignore you the way you ignore our Aunt now, and I hope it isn't as painful for you as it is for our Aunt when that happens. It isn't too late to set a good example...

You, the two youngest, cousin and brother... you live about an hour away and could easily visit or call or write and make Aunt's whole year with just a few minutes of your time, but you are too absorbed in your own lives to think of doing something for someone else. Please grow up. A quick phone call, or a note with a picture of your baby would be great. She would LOVE to get a copy of the birth announcement, I'm not sure why she was left off the original list. She isn't THAT far gone!

You, my brother in the middle with me, thank you for staying in Aunt's life with regular phone calls, visits, taking her out for dinners, bringing the pups to visit (she LOVES your dogs!) and overlooking her failing memory. When I went over this morning to bring her clean laundry, put out her medications, and take her to breakfast, all she could talk about was the gorgeous sweater that you and your wife brought to her on Sunday so that she could enjoy wearing it throughout the entire holiday season, and how much she loved going out for Chinese food with you both. She showed the sweater to me and told me the whole story about 30 times in the 2 hours I was there, and I could just feel her joy radiating and I loved hearing every minute of her story each time. Your thoughtfulness and loving ways towards our Aunt makes my heart happy, and I am so very proud of the man that you have become, and delighted to have you as my brother.
With love (and in some cases, frustration),
Your Sister/Cousin

I hope an actual copy of this went to these people. I cried. What a wonderful woman!