An open letter...
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LOVE< LOVE <LOVE this thread. have to tag so I can keep up! Thanks for all the laughs.0
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Dear US Navy,
While I thank you for returning my husband to me yesterday and appreciate that I get to keep him around for a few months could you please make sure you stick to the plans we have arranged? I am well aware that you will be taking my husband away AGAIN this time for 6-8months, I will try not to be selfish but I have purchased tickets for he and I to see a show the weekend before you are scheduled to take him so all I ask is that you do not change your plans at the last minute (as you often do) unless it means he gets to stay with me longer!
Best wishes
Frusterated Planner
Dear 5 year old little boy,
You are smart and charming and absoultely hilarious most days...however if I have to hear you whine that you're hungry 5 min after a full meal again I will make you eat until you puke. Your portions are perfect and when i offer you seconds you decline. I realize you clean your plate but as you are only 5 i do not feel it is appropriate for you to be eating me out of house and home for at least another 8-10years!
Love
your "only cooks one meal a night" Mom
Dear Loving husband,
I am so glad to have you home, I have missed you dearly the past few weeks! I would kindly ask that you look around and observe how clean the house was when you walked in the door....lets try to keep it that way. Since we are going out of town for the holidays it will mean less work for everyone involved if we just continue to pick up after ourselves so that we leave/return to a clean house.
All my heart
Your wife/partner/cook/maid0 -
wooow what i wouldn't give to say that to her face...
Don't worry I just emailed it to her... maybe she can use some of it when she speaks at your wedding :flowerforyou:
lol i know it's going to happen one day...I just hope it isn't during a family function or my wedding...even my MIL says someone needs to put her in her place.0 -
I "hundredth" the four year old letters!
Dear Customer,
Thank you for yelling at me AGAIN on the phone this morning because my emails and faxes aren't coming through to you. Perhaps you might take a moment to pull your head out and see if it might be something on your end of the line? Or perhaps..you?
I can take all you got, but FYI, you might as well just say "d@mn" instead of "dadgum" because you sound like a flucking hick. And PS - every time you call and tell me its not come through and you don't know what I am doing...I raise the price of your transmission $5000.00 and happily resend the emails and faxes again.
Have a lovely day!
L0 -
dear boss
is it possible to institute a small bar here in the office? while others need their morning coffee, I sometimes need my morning shot so I can relax from whatever stressors have been thrown at me in the AM at home. plus, it will help keep me from wanting to strangle any stupid people that may call or come in.
thanks
still not a morning person
LMFAO! We often joke about instituting "Bloody Mary Monday" "Tequila Sunrise Tuesday" "whateversyourpoison Wednesday" etce tc. around here too.0 -
Dear Belgian Chocolate Box,
Why oh why do you keep calling at me to eat your crumbly chocolate covered biscuit pieces? I've already tended to you a few times today but you keep wailing at me. The box is already half empty. The chocolate monster is satisfied already.
I can't tend to you.....until tomorrow.
Not a promise though. You'll have to persuade the better half of Conscience.
Regards
The Chocolate Monster That Lives Within.0 -
Dear mother of the son who got his silly butt into trouble causing my involvement,
Scream at me at the top of your lungs all you want, I'm getting paid every two weeks whether you like me or not, my pension is locked in solid and it would take an act of God to touch it. Scream some more, I'll be here 'till midnight.
Dear Diet Coke,
I love you. You are always there for me no matter what. I fall in love every time my eyes fall upon your shiny silver wrapping, the sun shines a little brighter every time I crack you open, and I swear I hear angels sing with every first drink. You are truly loyal, this morning at 6am, when I needed a caffiene fix and couldn't wait for the coffee to be ready, you even hid yourself behind the grape jelly so nobody can steal you away from me.
I love you so much, I may cry.
Dear Target,
Thank you for putting my precious Diet Coke on sale for $2.00 a twelve pack. I bought 33.0 -
Dear Janakae,
Its now been 4 years. I miss you every day and will never forget how special and wonderful you are. I help spread the word about drunk drivers and tell your story whenever I can. You have been such a positive influence and you will never be forgotten. I love you.
Love,
Your Best Friend
On Nov 12 Janakae was being a good friend and designated driver for some of her friends at Texas Tech University. She had just dropped off 2 of her friends and was going back to the party to pick of more who were ready to leave. She was stopped at a red light waiting to turn left, when the light changed and she began to drive a woman ran the red light and side swiped Janakaes F150. The woman was driving a mid-size older car, she was more than 10X the legal limit and was doing over 100mph. The drunk woman died instantly. Janakae suffered broken spine, hips, ribs, arm, legs, severed liver and pancreas, sever brain damage and swelling... However she spent 4 days (unconsious) in the hospital fighting for her life. In the end she saved many lives through organ and tissue donation. - She was only 20-- She has been such a positive and wonderful influence and friend to so many. A young man who is in the Navy was given leave to fly home and put a ring on her finger (the day they burried her) :sad:
She was my Best Friend. Please whatever you do, never drive drunk or let anyone else do it!0 -
Dear Boy that has my Heart,
I came to the realization this weekend that the L word has happened while I wasn't looking. This is NOT FAIR. We've talked about this NOT happening. We're both scared ****less. When I wouldn't tell you what was wrong Saturday night it was because I was afraid if I opened my mouth I would scream" I F'ING LOVE YOU YOU BIG EMOTIONALLY RETARDED FOOL. JUST LET ME LOVE YOU GOD DAMN IT!!!" That said, you talk in your sleep... I love you too.
~me
Dear ~me
At least you know it was honest... just like the first time my now hubby told me he loved me over the phone when he was plastered and a thousand miles away!
:happy:
Signed
Congrats!
My then boyfriend/how husband blurted it out and then slapped his hand over his mouth with a complete look of horror...
I was waiting and waiting. Convinced I'd have to say it first. Then one night I let out a huge belch, and he looked at me and said God damn, I love you!
So romantic, right?0 -
Dear other MFP'ers:
Thank you for highlighting the struggles you have with your husbands, for it makes me truly appreciate mine that much more.
Dear Husband:
Thank you for consistently cleaning up after yourself, filling up the tank for me, cooking dinner for me, bringing inthe lion's share of the money, always being supportive no matter what I have dreamed up, and generally being the greatest husband of all time.
Dear Mother:
The comment you made about my Thanksgiving turkey was EFFING rude! If you are going to be nasty and critical, please don't come. I don't need the grief.0 -
Dear Rachel's 'puppy',
Thank you for trying to make it to the door this morning while you were throwing up, however next time try to make it closer? Slipping in your throw-up was not a fun way to start my work out at 3:30 am.
Love,
Mom
LMAO I almost spewed out my oatmeal raisin cookie...errrr...i mean...ugh yep I almost spit my cookie out on the computer!!! :laugh: :laugh:0 -
Dear MFP friends,
You have truly brightened my day! I have had so many of the same experiences, excluding sitting on a left testicle:huh: , You have all made me smile.
MFP Thanks for the pick me up,
OMG ROFLMAO!! :noway: :noway: :noway:0 -
Dear 22 year old daughter,
I love you. You are my favorite out of the five, mostly because you always bring me your leftovers when your boyfriend takes you out to dinner. Tell your boyfriend I appreciate it. Anyway, no, I have never been to a "pimp and ho" party. I am glad you guys have fun together. However, in the future please do not come down stairs wearing your "ho" outfit and ask your father how you look. It's just wrong.
I'll be gouging my eyes out now. Everyone have a nice day.
i'M DYING OVER HERE...LOLOLOLOLOL0 -
Dear 1 year old,
I know you missed your nap today (not for lack of trying on my part). I know you are so tired that you can hardly stand it, but please stay awake for 15 more minutes so that I don't have to get up 3 times tonight. You are much cuter at 6am than you are at 2am~
Love,
Mom
Dear 3 year old,
I know you LOVE Strawberry Shortcake, but if I have to hear the theme song one more time, I will keel over and die. It just isn't right that a 31 year old woman can't goes around humming it all day. Please, pick a movie other than Strawberry Shortcake on our next library visit!
Love,
Mom
Dear 6 year old,
I am aware that you do not like what I make for dinner most nights. And, no, you CAN't just eat grahm crackers. And, no, you can't just eat 3 bites, then ask for a treat. You will eat what I make, and you will LIKE it!
Love,
Mom0 -
Dear precious sons of mine,
I realize you are still young and curious, but your older sisters room is not there for you to go into and destroy while they are over at Grandma's house. It is NOT ok for you to get out all of their nail polish and scatter the bottles around the room like confetti and it is most certainly NOT ok for you to then paint each of your nails with a myriad of colors. :noway: And no, that money you took out of her piggy bank isn't yours because you "found" it.....now give it back and kindly GO TO BED!!!
PS...next time you two are visiting Grandma's house, I'm letting the girls completely ravage your room. :laugh:
Love,
Tired mom0 -
Dear Daddy,
I miss you every second of everyday. I feel lost without you.
Love,
Your baby girl0 -
Dear friend of mine whom thinks she knows it all,
Hi yea i know you are knowledged in college and heck im just a stay at home mom with a daycare. BUT
do not tell me i am eatin healthier and working out more for nothing bc it just flat P***** me off sooo bad !!!!!
you did not go to college for nutrition and do not tell me i will only ever loose water weight because i will never be skinny bc its not in myjeans,.... well B**** i weighed 130 in highschool do you not remember that ? OMG you make me sooo mad !!!
anyway i have lost 25 pounds and while yes some of it im sure is water weight but i garantee it isnt all bc my clothes are feeling looser and i can finally button my fat pant so HA HA .. Shut up you skinny little hooker !!!!
xo
your Pd of friend
ps.. by the way i dont want to talk agian until im at my goal weight bc youve took my joy from me you little hooker !!0 -
Dear Mary,
I think it's Mary, right? Well if it isn't it's ok because you never remember my name either. I just wanted to tell you thanks. I met you on my second day at the gym. You were running next to me. I was huffing and puffing away still only a couple a months back into running. When I finished my workout, you smiled at me and told me I had done well. You made me cry that night. I couldn't believe how nice you were. That you noticed me (It's hard to miss a 240 pound woman on a treadmill who appears to be hurdling her *kitten* through time and space.) We've had a few exchanges since then, we traded life summaries in the sauna- you are an inspiration to me. I would have guessed you in your early fourties, not a gramma in her late 50's.
Well, Mary, you made my day again. I haven't seen you in awhile and I know I've made some serious physical changes in the last month and a half. Thank you for noticing. Thank for calling me "Skinny" loudly in the packed to the gills cardio area of the gym. I'm sorry I guffawed. I want you to know, thanks to you I haven't stopped smiling. You are the reason I decided that I liked this gym. Thank you for being so amazing. I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to tell you this today.
Love,
~amandaamberangie...what's your name again?0 -
Dear screaming 4 year old daughter,
I can help you zip your jacket. It is not difficult for me to get it started and then you can finish it. There is no reason to sit on the kitchen floor screaming and kicking. Just stand up and then we can leave. It really should not be an issue.
Love,
Your overstimulated mother
I have a 3 yr she will be 4 next month, OMG she is the same way...we go through this every morning...lol0 -
Dear Coworkers,
Do your own damn work. Dont like it bite me.
Signed
Coworker who works past 4 everyday while you lazy bums run each other over getting out the door @ 4
PS When my door is closed it means stay the ef out.0
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