An open letter...

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  • sculley
    sculley Posts: 2,012 Member
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    Dear unborn son,

    Just because mommy wakes up at 2-4am or so to go pee does not mean "wake up time, time to move"...Mommy knows your anxious to get out because you have been upside down and head butting me for months but your only halfway there keep baking hunny pie....

    Love your anxious but not that anxious mom



    Dear 5 year old son,

    Your old enough now to where when you wake up cold to actually get under the covers instead of waking mommy up at 2am to ask if I can cover you up, and also mommy would love to hear about the dream you had but can it wait until we wake up instead of 3am in the morning, if its a bad dream its ok to wake mommy up...And please hunny stop kneeing and kicking me in your sleep, its not gymnastics and I already have enough kicking lol.

    Love your totally exhausted and needing one night of full sleep mom
  • sculley
    sculley Posts: 2,012 Member
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    Dear screaming 4 year old daughter,

    I can help you zip your jacket. It is not difficult for me to get it started and then you can finish it. There is no reason to sit on the kitchen floor screaming and kicking. Just stand up and then we can leave. It really should not be an issue.

    Love,

    Your overstimulated mother





    I have a 3 yr she will be 4 next month, OMG she is the same way...we go through this every morning...lol

    My 5 year old has a hard time with his pant zipper and his jacket instead of asking me to help he will cry and get all hurt and upset with himself...
  • aliciadjackson
    aliciadjackson Posts: 480 Member
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    Dear Mary,
    I think it's Mary, right? Well if it isn't it's ok because you never remember my name either. I just wanted to tell you thanks. I met you on my second day at the gym. You were running next to me. I was huffing and puffing away still only a couple a months back into running. When I finished my workout, you smiled at me and told me I had done well. You made me cry that night. I couldn't believe how nice you were. That you noticed me (It's hard to miss a 240 pound woman on a treadmill who appears to be hurdling her *kitten* through time and space.) We've had a few exchanges since then, we traded life summaries in the sauna- you are an inspiration to me. I would have guessed you in your early fourties, not a gramma in her late 50's.

    Well, Mary, you made my day again. I haven't seen you in awhile and I know I've made some serious physical changes in the last month and a half. Thank you for noticing. Thank for calling me "Skinny" loudly in the packed to the gills cardio area of the gym. I'm sorry I guffawed. I want you to know, thanks to you I haven't stopped smiling. You are the reason I decided that I liked this gym. Thank you for being so amazing. I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to tell you this today.

    Love,
    ~amandaamberangie...what's your name again?

    I LOVE this! =)
    Makes me want to give more nice comments to people I see every day working out when I'm at the gym... everyone needs boosts like this!
  • sculley
    sculley Posts: 2,012 Member
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    Dear teacher of my son,

    All of my written letters for you left in my sons folder that have gone unanswered for months......and now the conference you requested that you stood me up and had the nerve to call everyone on my sons contact card but me to pass along a third party message and after the note I received from you about how "we" missed our conference and how your available only 2:20 monday and thursday and how we need to have a conference.......Well guess what??? SCREW U! I have tried to get my kid out of your class for months at first I just thought I was being alittle judging but after seeing u put your hand in my sons face when he tried to ask you what he was supposed to do when I dropped him off and after hearing from him later that day that you grabbed him by the arm and pulled in out of a seat......I WILL HAVE my son moved or YOU fired either way......Don't bother me and dont ask me for anything best thing you can do is talk to the principal and have my son moved. Because its obvious you do not belong in a job that deals with kids.

    Sincerely,
    A pissed off frustrated mouth
  • sculley
    sculley Posts: 2,012 Member
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    Dear hubby

    I know you're sick, but for the love of all that is good get your *kitten* to the doctor! This is your 3rd day home from work, and we can't afford you to not be working! Quit being a stubborn git and buck up! It makes me crazy when you tell me at night that you're going to try your damnedest to make it to work, and then I have to wake you up 3 times to get your butt off the couch so I can get your help to get the kids to day care on time so the oldest doesn't miss his bus.

    Oh, and while I'm here, thanks for making my sandwich this morning while I was finishing getting ready. But, you forgot the onion...

    Love

    your wife who need some sanity right now

    I begged my husband for months to go to the doc when he finally did he has so many serious problems.....I was just like damn you really should have listened to me!
  • sculley
    sculley Posts: 2,012 Member
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    Dear US Navy,

    While I thank you for returning my husband to me yesterday and appreciate that I get to keep him around for a few months could you please make sure you stick to the plans we have arranged? I am well aware that you will be taking my husband away AGAIN this time for 6-8months, I will try not to be selfish but I have purchased tickets for he and I to see a show the weekend before you are scheduled to take him so all I ask is that you do not change your plans at the last minute (as you often do) unless it means he gets to stay with me longer!

    Best wishes
    Frusterated Planner

    Dear 5 year old little boy,
    You are smart and charming and absoultely hilarious most days...however if I have to hear you whine that you're hungry 5 min after a full meal again I will make you eat until you puke. Your portions are perfect and when i offer you seconds you decline. I realize you clean your plate but as you are only 5 i do not feel it is appropriate for you to be eating me out of house and home for at least another 8-10years!

    Love
    your "only cooks one meal a night" Mom

    Dear Loving husband,

    I am so glad to have you home, I have missed you dearly the past few weeks! I would kindly ask that you look around and observe how clean the house was when you walked in the door....lets try to keep it that way. Since we are going out of town for the holidays it will mean less work for everyone involved if we just continue to pick up after ourselves so that we leave/return to a clean house.

    All my heart
    Your wife/partner/cook/maid


    So feel your pain on the 5 year old he refuses and picks at his food but is starving after.....oh and the US navy one is priceless currently my husband and I are both navy he is stationed in colorado and i am in florida so the three days of special time we get a month is so priceless
  • sculley
    sculley Posts: 2,012 Member
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    Dear Every Mom That Thinks Their Teenage Daughter Should Shush Up,

    You are lucky to have your children wanting to talk to you. My mom never asked about my day, not once. I rarely told her anything that was going on and I always felt alone. It may bother you right now but who are they supposed to talk to, you are their MOTHER.

    Love,

    The Girl Who Always Felt Alone And Still Kind of Does

    ((hugs)) You have 89876 mothers on here that will listen to you. :heart: :heart: :heart:

    I second that!! I felt alone growing up all the time so I try my best to be there for my son all the time.
  • sculley
    sculley Posts: 2,012 Member
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    Dear Wonderful Husband,

    You're the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me and I love more than all the stars in thy sky. You couldnt make me any happier. You're absolutely PERFECT for me. But.. If you don't stop SNORING in my ear like a jet engine at night, I'm gonna choke you out in the middle of the night! And hey.. you gotta share those covers, yes I do get cold too.. And... You can't sleep in the middle of the bed... I need some room too, and i'm FAT! I need more than three inches.. I enjoy being close to you and cuddling with you, but holding on for dear life so I dont' fall off the bed, yeah.. NOT ENJOYABLE!!!

    Love you always,

    You're Loving Caring Almost Murderous Wife!

    PS Did I tell you how much I love you!?


    HAHAHAA I was sooooo there when I was on leave visiting my husband.....NICE
  • sculley
    sculley Posts: 2,012 Member
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    Dear Husband,

    Why haven't you called me yet to say good morning? Thanks for leaving your dirty socks on the living room floor. I can't wait to come home and clean the mess up! Yay.

    Love,

    Your baby mamma

    LMFAO! WORD - ARE WE WITH THE SAME MAN?

    oh gosh - THE SOCKS in the living room!!! I want to KILL him! Socks EVERYWHERE! PICK UP THE FREAKING SOCKS!!!! :explode:

    Maybe it really isnt the dryer stealing the socks maybe its the HUSBANDS lol
  • sculley
    sculley Posts: 2,012 Member
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    Dear Mom,
    I miss you. I can't tell anyone coz they just say they are sorry. That irks me. So, i just keep it to myself. Also, I drove by the cemetary the other day and had the most ridiculous thought, are you cold and lonely? It makes it so i Have to drive the long way home now. :(
    Love,
    Your Daughter Who Misses You so Much this time of year.


    I feel your pain dear...I lost my dad just alittle over a year ago.
  • AlisaToth
    AlisaToth Posts: 415 Member
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    Dear Job,

    We knew this day would come, a'las the harvest season has come to an end therefore so has my job as a seasonal finance specialst . While I am extatic to not have to work the rest of the week nor next week while i will be preparing my family for a trip to visit the in-laws for Thanksgiving...could you please act like the seperation will be hard for you too?? The seasonal HR girl that had her last day last week got cupcakes!! The LEAST you could do for me is have lunch brought in! Maybe a little gathering in the conference room?? Is that too much to ask??? I know you're upset that just like the seasonal's before me i too probably won't be coming back next season as you have truely put me thru the ringer...however does that give cause to end on bad terms??

    Sincerley
    "Just wants a damn burrito as a farewell gift"
  • mlh612
    mlh612 Posts: 311 Member
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    Dear Co-worker,

    The water cooler in the office is great and everyone can lift the bottles but you. Why is that? I know that you have a bad back, b/c you have told us time and time again to anyone who would listen. Maybe you shouldn't tell the stories of what you do on the weekend, since you want to use your bad back as an excuse. If you can lift up your 50 pound dog, then you can lift a 5 galloon water bottle or quit getting water every hour..

    Sincerely,
    Over it!! :explode:
  • stormieweather
    stormieweather Posts: 2,549 Member
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    Dear Next Door Neighbor:

    Thank you for your repeated gifts of piles of animal poop piled considerately beside the driveway, in the exact spot where I get out of my car. We are aware that you are bat-*kitten* crazy and always check for deposits before we disembark from our vehicles. We have repeatedly reminded you that the poop in your yard isn't from our animals, but from those who let their animals run around off the leash (like the golden retriever from across the street) and/or those who don't scoop their pet's poop. I wonder who you will find to blame after we have moved out next week? In any case, we re-gifted your deposits back to your yard. Enjoy!

    Your soon to be ex Neighbor
  • mlh612
    mlh612 Posts: 311 Member
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    Dear Next Door Neighbor:

    Thank you for your repeated gifts of piles of animal poop piled considerately beside the driveway, in the exact spot where I get out of my car. We are aware that you are bat-*kitten* crazy and always check for deposits before we disembark from our vehicles. We have repeatedly reminded you that the poop in your yard isn't from our animals, but from those who let their animals run around off the leash (like the golden retriever from across the street) and/or those who don't scoop their pet's poop. I wonder who you will find to blame after we have moved out next week? In any case, we re-gifted your deposits back to your yard. Enjoy!

    Your soon to be ex Neighbor


    Love that you "re-gifted" :laugh:
  • FORKDOWN
    FORKDOWN Posts: 1,754
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    Dear Next Door Neighbor:

    Thank you for your repeated gifts of piles of animal poop piled considerately beside the driveway, in the exact spot where I get out of my car. We are aware that you are bat-*kitten* crazy and always check for deposits before we disembark from our vehicles. We have repeatedly reminded you that the poop in your yard isn't from our animals, but from those who let their animals run around off the leash (like the golden retriever from across the street) and/or those who don't scoop their pet's poop. I wonder who you will find to blame after we have moved out next week? In any case, we re-gifted your deposits back to your yard. Enjoy!

    Your soon to be ex Neighbor

    The flaming bag of dog crap on the front porch is a great gag for a going away present.
  • SharonsJetSet
    SharonsJetSet Posts: 159
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    Dear Gorgeous 7yo Dutch Warmblood Horse aka Tony;

    So sorry I haven't been able to see you lately. I hope to come out on Saturday and spend some time with you, feeding you special treats and going for a nice ride. I hope you realize that the reason I can't see you much during the week is I need to work 2 jobs in order to pay for all your expenses. I wish my boyfriend would understand how magnificent you are and stop telling me that a way to improve my finances would be to sell you. I'd rather work hard and be broke than be without you.

    Love you with all my heart and soul

    Mom
  • AlisaToth
    AlisaToth Posts: 415 Member
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    Dear job,

    I apologize as my letter to you earlier today was pre-mature. Thank you for doing something for me this afternoon...however why did you have to pick 2pm as the time? I am done with my work and want nothing more than to go home and take a nap...but i cannot bc you have chose my "special farewell" time to happen in the afternoon...What were you thinking???

    Regards

    Your sleepy *almost* ex-employee!
  • tristalin
    tristalin Posts: 108 Member
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    Dear 3 year old daughter,

    I know that you are always hungry...but if you go into the refrigerator or pantry one more time today without asking I will literally go crazy. Your father will have to check me in to the nut-house! Stop eating all of my low-cal treats, stop giving your baby sister crackers...she just drops them and steps on them. And, for the love of god, GET YOUR CLOTHES BACK ON!!!

    Love,

    Mom

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