vent--There are too many skinny people at the gym
Replies
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Thank you all for the constructive, mean and supportive feedback--it was all delightful and I guess stirred up some feelings. . Look I know--I know that my feeling here is not rational or even nice in some ways. Better a bunch of random people I don't know tell me what I already know--I am being an irrational idiot--than to avoid the gym because I lock this feeling up inside. It is indeed very true when we polk fun at others we are really showing our own insecurities and I recognize that is exactly what I was doing. Wherever you have been in a weight loss, weight gain or even sports fitness regime I bet you can relate just a little--even if you won't admit on a post.
The good news from all this harshness is that my in box is full with people who can relate to my own insecurities just like mine who might not have been so nervy to post this.0 -
ok, so i only got through one page of those replies to this post - and my goodness. some people take other peoples thoughts far too seriously!
i totally get what you mean OP, and i know that your 'fat people gym' idea was a joke of sorts. i like it - and im with you.
i was just at the gym last week before a yogalaties class, and the cardio class that was finishing up had this girl in it.. holy crow her body was amazing! like really, what was she even doing there?? she doesnt need the cardio, I need the cardio!
it would be awesome to have a gym where there are zero judgments, and people just straight up support each other. i think - well, i hope - that most gyms really are like that once you open up a little. i plan on actually joining the gym later this year (i was on a trial pass, i work out at home) and i look forward to being a support (maybe an inspiration?) to other gym goers.
But the only person passing judgement was the OP.
This! Why don't the people defending the OP see this? How did the use of derogatory stereotypes not get noticed by them?0 -
I love a good forum discussion, everyone gets to finish with exactly the same opinions they started with, but a little bit more determined about them.
Not so. I started thinking the OP was silly, but the more I think about it the more I think she's just a jerk.
That's a shift in opinion.
Not only this, but there are apparently many, many more white knights jumping to defend OP's piss-poor attitude and terrible word choice than I could have possible imagined.
oh lets just burn her at the stake for a badly written post.
Naw, I'd rather burn her for her judgement, jealousy, body-shaming, name-calling and general sour attitude. :flowerforyou:0 -
Most people are at the gym for the same reason - to improve themselves in some way. If they're skinny, it doesn't necessarily mean they're fit. They might want to tone up, or run faster, or gain some muscles.
I was slim and fit last year, and I was chatting to a girl at Zumba class, and she said she wondered why I was there as I was thin. I'd started off at 220lbs after my 2nd baby, only she didn't see me then. So you never know where people were to begin with.
I've just had my third baby and have some weight to lose, and I feel huge now in comparison to some people at the gym and in classes, but I just get on with it. Hopefully this time next year I'll be back to my slim and fit self, but I won't get there without exercise!0 -
lol. are you seriously offended. thats quite funny.
not as annoyed as I get with people who say women with make up at the gym are slores and don't' work out and are there only to look good. That *kitten* annoys the piss out of me.
But yes- this does wrankle me.
I suspect people saying ha ha ha fat people at the gym annoy me would get hammered.
It doesn't matter if I took it personally or not- the fact of the matter is OP is flat wrong- and it's offensive- stop trying to play gas lighting and own it. it's offensive.
and back to the other part- grow up.0 -
Thank you all for the constructive, mean and supportive feedback--it was all delightful and I guess stirred up some feelings. . Look I know--I know that my feeling here is not rational or even nice in some ways. Better a bunch of random people I don't know tell me what I already know--I am being an irrational idiot--than to avoid the gym because I lock this feeling up inside. It is indeed very true when we polk fun at others we are really showing our own insecurities and I recognize that is exactly what I was doing. Wherever you have been in a weight loss, weight gain or even sports fitness regime I bet you can relate just a little--even if you won't admit on a post.
The good news from all this harshness is that my in box is full with people who can relate to my own insecurities just like mine who might not have been so nervy to post this.
Do you also recognize that you shouldn't use derogatory names when describing the people at your gym?0 -
Every gym has their own culture and atmosphere. Even the time of day people come to work out sometimes brings different demographics of people. (I used to get my *kitten* kicked by these little old ladies swimming at the pool at 5am) I think Planet Fitness and Curves for women are good for people that aren't comfortable with certain aspects of gym culture. At the end of the day, most people at the gym are just human beings trying to take care of themselves and most of us don't get hung up at anyone else no matter what they weigh.
I've been a regular gym goer for over 20 years now. In my experience and in commonplace discussion about it online, I find an overwhelming number of people that are insecure about their weight or whether or not someone at the gym will pick on them. And that's understandable. Yet more often than not, for every rude remark dished out to heavy person, there are plenty of rude remarks and judgment directed towards so-called "skinny bimbos" "meatheads" "jocks" or "Barbies" -- and none of it is cool.
Going to a gym can make you fit, but judgmental attitudes aren't attractive.0 -
I love a good forum discussion, everyone gets to finish with exactly the same opinions they started with, but a little bit more determined about them.
Not so. I started thinking the OP was silly, but the more I think about it the more I think she's just a jerk.
That's a shift in opinion.
Not only this, but there are apparently many, many more white knights jumping to defend OP's piss-poor attitude and terrible word choice than I could have possible imagined.
oh lets just burn her at the stake for a badly written post.
Naw, I'd rather burn her for her judgement, jealousy, body-shaming, name-calling and general sour attitude. :flowerforyou:
would u feel better then?0 -
That's what most of us are saying... Reread the original post... It is full of judgment against the people OP doesn't want to see there. Right down to the "trophy wife" not wearing enough clothes for OP's taste.ok, so i only got through one page of those replies to this post - and my goodness. some people take other peoples thoughts far too seriously!
i totally get what you mean OP, and i know that your 'fat people gym' idea was a joke of sorts. i like it - and im with you.
i was just at the gym last week before a yogalaties class, and the cardio class that was finishing up had this girl in it.. holy crow her body was amazing! like really, what was she even doing there?? she doesnt need the cardio, I need the cardio!
it would be awesome to have a gym where there are zero judgments, and people just straight up support each other. i think - well, i hope - that most gyms really are like that once you open up a little. i plan on actually joining the gym later this year (i was on a trial pass, i work out at home) and i look forward to being a support (maybe an inspiration?) to other gym goers.
The difference between OP and the people she's talking about is most likely that they aren't looking at her and calling her names in their heads and wishing she weren't there. They're just working out.
I was self-conscious when I first went to the gym too. I looked around and compared myself to other people. Can't say I ever wished them away, though... If anything, I watched to see what people were doing that I might try in order to improve my own results. I quickly learned that my way of working out wasn't the only way, and I got better workouts as a result.0 -
Suck it up buttercup and use it as motivation.
At times I look at some of the overweight ones and go " geez they got some work to do" and then I walk over, say high, and give them a high five! Motivate yourself through others and someday do the same for them! I am no where near skinny, but someday I will be.0 -
I understand what you are saying. I myself am not the most over weight person. But we ALL have fitness goals and they may be hard to obtain even if you are a fit person. Besides from my perspective everyone at the gym is kind of silently cheering on everyone else. So please don't feel like you don't fit in or that you're being judged. Everyone is fighting some kind of battle.
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Thank you all for the constructive, mean and supportive feedback--it was all delightful and I guess stirred up some feelings. . Look I know--I know that my feeling here is not rational or even nice in some ways. Better a bunch of random people I don't know tell me what I already know--I am being an irrational idiot--than to avoid the gym because I lock this feeling up inside. It is indeed very true when we polk fun at others we are really showing our own insecurities and I recognize that is exactly what I was doing. Wherever you have been in a weight loss, weight gain or even sports fitness regime I bet you can relate just a little--even if you won't admit on a post.
The good news from all this harshness is that my in box is full with people who can relate to my own insecurities just like mine who might not have been so nervy to post this.
And I'll say it again. This should have been something posted on your feed or the MFP Blog Post.
What did you honestly expect would happen posting on a public forum and essentially insulting people?0 -
If you all think she's being rude, most of your are being rude right back! Talk about hypocrites. If you don't have anything nice to say, DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL. Jeesh, just be the bigger person if you think she was being so rude and ignore the post.
I'm sorry OP for all the comments. It's not like you were being malicious or anything. Everyone just needs to give it a rest and move on.
So. I'm supposed to be nice to people who basically think people who look like me don't belong at her gym?
Why is that the insulted party is always the one obligated to be nice?
Again, did the OP say that? I haven't read all the replies so perhaps she did later, but she certainly did NOT say that in her first post.TOPIC: vent--There are too many skinny people at the gym
If this doesn't mean 'I want less skinny people at the gym.' that what, exactly, does it mean to you? There are too many skinny people at the gym, but that's Aok? Too many of them, but I don't mind?
Enlighten me Obi-Wan, for clearly I have misunderstood.
First of all, thanks for calling me Obi-Wan
So you think you are a skinny trophy wife and took the remarks personally. Got that. But I don't see where the OP said you didn't belong at the gym. She said she was uncomfortable working out next to you. For the life of me I can't imagine why.
So. If I go 'There are too many white people at my gym' (seriously, the damn place is full of them!) that doesn't imply I don't think they should be there/don't want them there?
Well. If that's how you feel then there is nothing more to say because I'm genuinely incapable of possibly understanding you.
Good day.
and to top it off you would say...
"I think we should have a gym where you have to have at least 25% African-American in your heritage to be able to join."
What the what? She did not say anything even NEAR to anything like that. I am firmly convinced you are just making things up in your head now to prolong this back-and-forth. There is no way anyone could pull that out of what she said. Stop causing trouble for no reason. :noway:
how is it any different?
"there are too many skinny people, i wish there was a gym where you had to be at least 25lbs overweight to be able to join. I am very insecure around fit people"
and then the other example
"there are too many white women, I wish there was a gym where you had to be at least 25% black to be able to join. I am very insecure around white women."0 -
NEWSFLASH-Everywhere you go people look at you and judge you.
This thread has made me realize how utterly pathetic and dangerous insecurity really is.0 -
I definitely agree with building people up instead of knocking them down. it goes back to the simple fact that in society today, being overweight is looked down upon and being fit is praised, accepted and desired. as we all know, weight loss is a slow and steady process so no matter how healthy we might be, people will still assume we stuff our faces with pizza and live on the couch just because we're overweight. there aren't too many negative connotations with fit bodies, but definitely a lot more with overweight bodies. I don't think OP was trying to say that she doesn't like skinny people or something. I know how I still feel when I'm working out around a bunch of fit people. it definitely does take awhile to regain confidence in yourself after years of feeling a certain way. it takes a lot to be overweight and make the choice to get up and go to the gym. it takes a lot for anyone to get up and go to the gym!! lets all just be nice and understanding when it comes to things like this I mean really
Really? Because there are an awful lot of posts on this site alone about how gross skinny can be, muscles are gross, woman called manly, etc. It happens quite regularly. It is far more accepted, as seen in this thread, than saying negative things about overweight people.
I've seen (and heard in real life) comments about being vain in relation to fit/skinny people or that people starve themselves, are "hangry", use steroids, etc etc etc.
I do agree that being overweight does carry more of a negative stigma, but I wouldn't go so far as to say there aren't too many negative connotations of being fit. I don't think it is acceptable on either side.0 -
Thank you all for the constructive, mean and supportive feedback--it was all delightful and I guess stirred up some feelings. . Look I know--I know that my feeling here is not rational or even nice in some ways. Better a bunch of random people I don't know tell me what I already know--I am being an irrational idiot--than to avoid the gym because I lock this feeling up inside. It is indeed very true when we polk fun at others we are really showing our own insecurities and I recognize that is exactly what I was doing. Wherever you have been in a weight loss, weight gain or even sports fitness regime I bet you can relate just a little--even if you won't admit on a post.
The good news from all this harshness is that my in box is full with people who can relate to my own insecurities just like mine who might not have been so nervy to post this.
Do you also recognize that you shouldn't use derogatory names when describing the people at your gym?
It's ok, though! It was "nervy", and it earned her some like-minded friends, so it was all worth it!0 -
This may be the wrong place to ask: Anybody starting a 30 day challenge thread with Gelato's for July? Or 28 days? Anyone? Bueller? As for the OP's question: I go to the gym and workout, I do not look at others who may or may not be working out. I'm there for a reason. Either get busy doing or get busy_-_-_-_-_ . . . .okay seriously, I need Gelato. No challenge, I may get a little cranky. . . . .come on!0
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Do your own thing and don't worry about anyone else.0
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I definitely agree with building people up instead of knocking them down. it goes back to the simple fact that in society today, being overweight is looked down upon and being fit is praised, accepted and desired. as we all know, weight loss is a slow and steady process so no matter how healthy we might be, people will still assume we stuff our faces with pizza and live on the couch just because we're overweight. there aren't too many negative connotations with fit bodies, but definitely a lot more with overweight bodies. I don't think OP was trying to say that she doesn't like skinny people or something. I know how I still feel when I'm working out around a bunch of fit people. it definitely does take awhile to regain confidence in yourself after years of feeling a certain way. it takes a lot to be overweight and make the choice to get up and go to the gym. it takes a lot for anyone to get up and go to the gym!! lets all just be nice and understanding when it comes to things like this I mean really
Really? Because there are an awful lot of posts on this site alone about how gross skinny people can be, muscles are gross and manly, etc. It happens quite regularly. It is far more accepted, as seen in this thread, than saying negative things about overweight people.
I've seen (and heard in real life) comments about being vain in relation to fit people or that people starve themselves, are "hangry", use steroids, etc etc etc.
I do agree that being overweight does carry more of a negative stigma, but I wouldn't go so far as to say there aren't too many negative connotations of being fit. I don't think it is acceptable on either side.
Yes, the overweight are a protected class on MFP but the thin (trophy wives) or the fit (meat heads) can be attacked at will.0 -
Thank you all for the constructive, mean and supportive feedback--it was all delightful and I guess stirred up some feelings. . Look I know--I know that my feeling here is not rational or even nice in some ways. Better a bunch of random people I don't know tell me what I already know--I am being an irrational idiot--than to avoid the gym because I lock this feeling up inside. It is indeed very true when we polk fun at others we are really showing our own insecurities and I recognize that is exactly what I was doing. Wherever you have been in a weight loss, weight gain or even sports fitness regime I bet you can relate just a little--even if you won't admit on a post.
The good news from all this harshness is that my in box is full with people who can relate to my own insecurities just like mine who might not have been so nervy to post this.
Do you also recognize that you shouldn't use derogatory names when describing the people at your gym?
It's ok, though! It was "nervy", and it earned her some like-minded friends, so it was all worth it!
job done then.0 -
Thank you all for the constructive, mean and supportive feedback--it was all delightful and I guess stirred up some feelings. . Look I know--I know that my feeling here is not rational or even nice in some ways. Better a bunch of random people I don't know tell me what I already know--I am being an irrational idiot--than to avoid the gym because I lock this feeling up inside. It is indeed very true when we polk fun at others we are really showing our own insecurities and I recognize that is exactly what I was doing. Wherever you have been in a weight loss, weight gain or even sports fitness regime I bet you can relate just a little--even if you won't admit on a post.
The good news from all this harshness is that my in box is full with people who can relate to my own insecurities just like mine who might not have been so nervy to post this.
Do you also recognize that you shouldn't use derogatory names when describing the people at your gym?
It's ok, though! It was "nervy", and it earned her some like-minded friends, so it was all worth it!
You're right. She was just 'ranting' so she was free to say anything offensive that she liked because... rant...
hmmm0 -
lmao - It is intimidating for everyone when they first go - I was in the same boat as well. I saw a guy at the gym on Tuesday and it was obviously his first time - he got on the row machine backwards :laugh:
No worries, everyone starts somewhere - use the healthy skinny people as motivation of where you want to be. :smokin:0 -
This may be the wrong place to ask: Anybody starting a 30 day challenge thread with Gelato's for July? Or 28 days? Anyone? Bueller? As for the OP's question: I go to the gym and workout, I do not look at others who may or may not be working out. I'm there for a reason. Either get busy doing or get busy_-_-_-_-_ . . . .okay seriously, I need Gelato. No challenge, I may get a little cranky. . . . .come on!
*points toward LOLBroScience* He's the man to bug
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I kind of get where the original poster is coming from. Or at least I think I do.
Having read a few of the other posts in this thread, I have a *slightly* different view point than I did initially.
Not talking about anyone else, but for me personally, the idea of being obese and working out (and being pale skinned so of course I go bright red even just thinking about working out!) scares me. Irrational? Totally. Should I really care what others may think about me? Well, no, but the irrational kicks in and I think of things said to me in the past etc.
Anyway, perhaps the point is, it's not that there are too many skinny people, or meat heads, or trophy wives in a gym, but it's the way one feels about themselves that causes the trepidation of going to the gym and working out.
So, um, yeah. That's why I'm looking at alternatives than just going to the gym. When my self-esteem improves, then I may check out a gym, possibly lighter in pounds, still just as beet red. :happy:0 -
If you all think she's being rude, most of your are being rude right back! Talk about hypocrites. If you don't have anything nice to say, DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL. Jeesh, just be the bigger person if you think she was being so rude and ignore the post.
I'm sorry OP for all the comments. It's not like you were being malicious or anything. Everyone just needs to give it a rest and move on.
So. I'm supposed to be nice to people who basically think people who look like me don't belong at her gym?
Why is that the insulted party is always the one obligated to be nice?
Again, did the OP say that? I haven't read all the replies so perhaps she did later, but she certainly did NOT say that in her first post.TOPIC: vent--There are too many skinny people at the gym
If this doesn't mean 'I want less skinny people at the gym.' that what, exactly, does it mean to you? There are too many skinny people at the gym, but that's Aok? Too many of them, but I don't mind?
Enlighten me Obi-Wan, for clearly I have misunderstood.
First of all, thanks for calling me Obi-Wan
So you think you are a skinny trophy wife and took the remarks personally. Got that. But I don't see where the OP said you didn't belong at the gym. She said she was uncomfortable working out next to you. For the life of me I can't imagine why.
So. If I go 'There are too many white people at my gym' (seriously, the damn place is full of them!) that doesn't imply I don't think they should be there/don't want them there?
Well. If that's how you feel then there is nothing more to say because I'm genuinely incapable of possibly understanding you.
Good day.
and to top it off you would say...
"I think we should have a gym where you have to have at least 25% African-American in your heritage to be able to join."
What the what? She did not say anything even NEAR to anything like that. I am firmly convinced you are just making things up in your head now to prolong this back-and-forth. There is no way anyone could pull that out of what she said. Stop causing trouble for no reason. :noway:
how is it any different?
"there are too many skinny people, i wish there was a gym where you had to be at least 25lbs overweight to be able to join. I am very insecure around fit people"
and then the other example
"there are too many white women, I wish there was a gym where you had to be at least 25% black to be able to join. I am very insecure around white women."
Except....she didn't say that. She was using it was an example to show how unbelievably inappropriate and judgmental the idea of excluding people who look different from you is. Whether it's weight or skin color or age or whatever, it's wrong.0 -
I definitely agree with building people up instead of knocking them down. it goes back to the simple fact that in society today, being overweight is looked down upon and being fit is praised, accepted and desired. as we all know, weight loss is a slow and steady process so no matter how healthy we might be, people will still assume we stuff our faces with pizza and live on the couch just because we're overweight. there aren't too many negative connotations with fit bodies, but definitely a lot more with overweight bodies. I don't think OP was trying to say that she doesn't like skinny people or something. I know how I still feel when I'm working out around a bunch of fit people. it definitely does take awhile to regain confidence in yourself after years of feeling a certain way. it takes a lot to be overweight and make the choice to get up and go to the gym. it takes a lot for anyone to get up and go to the gym!! lets all just be nice and understanding when it comes to things like this I mean really
Really? Because there are an awful lot of posts on this site alone about how gross skinny people can be, muscles are gross and manly, etc. It happens quite regularly. It is far more accepted, as seen in this thread, than saying negative things about overweight people.
I've seen (and heard in real life) comments about being vain in relation to fit people or that people starve themselves, are "hangry", use steroids, etc etc etc.
I do agree that being overweight does carry more of a negative stigma, but I wouldn't go so far as to say there aren't too many negative connotations of being fit. I don't think it is acceptable on either side.
Yes, the overweight are a protected class on MFP but the thin (trophy wives) or the fit (meat heads) can be attacked at will.
I disagree. i think on mfp in general people do not like body shaming full stop. you will see in my post that i believe the op has worded this badly, but i dont understand the need to keep blasting her.0 -
This may be the wrong place to ask: Anybody starting a 30 day challenge thread with Gelato's for July? Or 28 days? Anyone? Bueller? As for the OP's question: I go to the gym and workout, I do not look at others who may or may not be working out. I'm there for a reason. Either get busy doing or get busy_-_-_-_-_ . . . .okay seriously, I need Gelato. No challenge, I may get a little cranky. . . . .come on!
*points toward LOLBroScience* He's the man to bug
don't judge me :frown:0 -
Hey, it's normal to have feelings of insecurity at times. But, the feelings are inside of you. Others are not thinking it. And if they are, they are acting like children. I suggest working through those feelings, realizing how much more fun life can be without all that and instead get out there and enjoy life with confidence. Life is too short. You only live once. Have fun!!! And soon you will be "one of the fit ones at the gym".0
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This may be the wrong place to ask: Anybody starting a 30 day challenge thread with Gelato's for July? Or 28 days? Anyone? Bueller? As for the OP's question: I go to the gym and workout, I do not look at others who may or may not be working out. I'm there for a reason. Either get busy doing or get busy_-_-_-_-_ . . . .okay seriously, I need Gelato. No challenge, I may get a little cranky. . . . .come on!
*points toward LOLBroScience* He's the man to bug
don't judge me :frown:
0 -
Thank you all for the constructive, mean and supportive feedback--it was all delightful and I guess stirred up some feelings. . Look I know--I know that my feeling here is not rational or even nice in some ways. Better a bunch of random people I don't know tell me what I already know--I am being an irrational idiot--than to avoid the gym because I lock this feeling up inside. It is indeed very true when we polk fun at others we are really showing our own insecurities and I recognize that is exactly what I was doing. Wherever you have been in a weight loss, weight gain or even sports fitness regime I bet you can relate just a little--even if you won't admit on a post.
The good news from all this harshness is that my in box is full with people who can relate to my own insecurities just like mine who might not have been so nervy to post this.
Do you also recognize that you shouldn't use derogatory names when describing the people at your gym?
It's ok, though! It was "nervy", and it earned her some like-minded friends, so it was all worth it!
job done then.
You seem to be struggling with the concept of sarcasm and the recognition of its application.0
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