vent--There are too many skinny people at the gym
Replies
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I definitely agree with building people up instead of knocking them down. it goes back to the simple fact that in society today, being overweight is looked down upon and being fit is praised, accepted and desired. as we all know, weight loss is a slow and steady process so no matter how healthy we might be, people will still assume we stuff our faces with pizza and live on the couch just because we're overweight. there aren't too many negative connotations with fit bodies, but definitely a lot more with overweight bodies. I don't think OP was trying to say that she doesn't like skinny people or something. I know how I still feel when I'm working out around a bunch of fit people. it definitely does take awhile to regain confidence in yourself after years of feeling a certain way. it takes a lot to be overweight and make the choice to get up and go to the gym. it takes a lot for anyone to get up and go to the gym!! lets all just be nice and understanding when it comes to things like this I mean really
Really? Because there are an awful lot of posts on this site alone about how gross skinny people can be, muscles are gross and manly, etc. It happens quite regularly. It is far more accepted, as seen in this thread, than saying negative things about overweight people.
I've seen (and heard in real life) comments about being vain in relation to fit people or that people starve themselves, are "hangry", use steroids, etc etc etc.
I do agree that being overweight does carry more of a negative stigma, but I wouldn't go so far as to say there aren't too many negative connotations of being fit. I don't think it is acceptable on either side.
Yes, the overweight are a protected class on MFP but the thin (trophy wives) or the fit (meat heads) can be attacked at will.
I disagree. i think on mfp in general people do not like body shaming full stop. you will see in my post that i believe the op has worded this badly, but i dont understand the need to keep blasting her.
^get thicker skin ppl that look like me- we get all the ladies, all the glory and all the winks, the best jobs, the most respect in real life - let the overweight be a protected class, and keep getting0 -
Thank you all for the constructive, mean and supportive feedback--it was all delightful and I guess stirred up some feelings. . Look I know--I know that my feeling here is not rational or even nice in some ways. Better a bunch of random people I don't know tell me what I already know--I am being an irrational idiot--than to avoid the gym because I lock this feeling up inside. It is indeed very true when we polk fun at others we are really showing our own insecurities and I recognize that is exactly what I was doing. Wherever you have been in a weight loss, weight gain or even sports fitness regime I bet you can relate just a little--even if you won't admit on a post.
The good news from all this harshness is that my in box is full with people who can relate to my own insecurities just like mine who might not have been so nervy to post this.
Do you also recognize that you shouldn't use derogatory names when describing the people at your gym?
It's ok, though! It was "nervy", and it earned her some like-minded friends, so it was all worth it!
You're right. She was just 'ranting' so she was free to say anything offensive that she liked because... rant...
hmmm
I just want a list of those people so I can make sure none of them are on my FL.
I've got a real low body shaming jerk tolerance and anyone who thinks using 'meathead' or 'trophy wife' is 'nervy' is no friend of mine.0 -
I definitely agree with building people up instead of knocking them down. it goes back to the simple fact that in society today, being overweight is looked down upon and being fit is praised, accepted and desired. as we all know, weight loss is a slow and steady process so no matter how healthy we might be, people will still assume we stuff our faces with pizza and live on the couch just because we're overweight. there aren't too many negative connotations with fit bodies, but definitely a lot more with overweight bodies. I don't think OP was trying to say that she doesn't like skinny people or something. I know how I still feel when I'm working out around a bunch of fit people. it definitely does take awhile to regain confidence in yourself after years of feeling a certain way. it takes a lot to be overweight and make the choice to get up and go to the gym. it takes a lot for anyone to get up and go to the gym!! lets all just be nice and understanding when it comes to things like this I mean really
Really? Because there are an awful lot of posts on this site alone about how gross skinny people can be, muscles are gross and manly, etc. It happens quite regularly. It is far more accepted, as seen in this thread, than saying negative things about overweight people.
I've seen (and heard in real life) comments about being vain in relation to fit people or that people starve themselves, are "hangry", use steroids, etc etc etc.
I do agree that being overweight does carry more of a negative stigma, but I wouldn't go so far as to say there aren't too many negative connotations of being fit. I don't think it is acceptable on either side.
Yes, the overweight are a protected class on MFP but the thin (trophy wives) or the fit (meat heads) can be attacked at will.
I disagree. i think on mfp in general people do not like body shaming full stop. you will see in my post that i believe the op has worded this badly, but i dont understand the need to keep blasting her.
Maybe because in her most current response to this thread, she took no responsibility for her body shaming comments and, in fact, was proud of her 'nervy' post that garnered her some new friends.0 -
BAH
Saying that fit people intimidate you is one thing.
Calling someone a trophy wife implies that she has no redeeming qualities other than her looks.
It is offensive.0 -
Not trying to offend, but if its not okay for a thin person to tell a heavy person to stop hogging the machines and let a fit person have them, than its not okay to wish away a thin person because you don't like the way you look.I know that that sounds stupid but I wish someone would open a gym where you have to be at least 25 pounds overweight to join. I go to a pretty nice one and overall people are pretty nice but when you are currently proud that you know you are exercising because your stomach fat has separated into two distinct groups working out next to Joe Meat head and Trophy wife wearing too much perfume and too little clothing can just make you feel less good about being there.
I know, I know, I am being silly and I should just ignore distractions like this but am I alone? Does anyone else feel just a little more insecure working out amongst the already insanely fit?
Why not join Curves if your are uncomfortable with fit people working out?0 -
Thank you all for the constructive, mean and supportive feedback--it was all delightful and I guess stirred up some feelings. . Look I know--I know that my feeling here is not rational or even nice in some ways. Better a bunch of random people I don't know tell me what I already know--I am being an irrational idiot--than to avoid the gym because I lock this feeling up inside. It is indeed very true when we polk fun at others we are really showing our own insecurities and I recognize that is exactly what I was doing. Wherever you have been in a weight loss, weight gain or even sports fitness regime I bet you can relate just a little--even if you won't admit on a post.
The good news from all this harshness is that my in box is full with people who can relate to my own insecurities just like mine who might not have been so nervy to post this.
Do you also recognize that you shouldn't use derogatory names when describing the people at your gym?
It's ok, though! It was "nervy", and it earned her some like-minded friends, so it was all worth it!
job done then.
You seem to be struggling with the concept of sarcasm and the recognition of its application.
if you say so.0 -
Thank you all for the constructive, mean and supportive feedback--it was all delightful and I guess stirred up some feelings. . Look I know--I know that my feeling here is not rational or even nice in some ways. Better a bunch of random people I don't know tell me what I already know--I am being an irrational idiot--than to avoid the gym because I lock this feeling up inside. It is indeed very true when we polk fun at others we are really showing our own insecurities and I recognize that is exactly what I was doing. Wherever you have been in a weight loss, weight gain or even sports fitness regime I bet you can relate just a little--even if you won't admit on a post.
The good news from all this harshness is that my in box is full with people who can relate to my own insecurities just like mine who might not have been so nervy to post this.
Do you also recognize that you shouldn't use derogatory names when describing the people at your gym?
It's ok, though! It was "nervy", and it earned her some like-minded friends, so it was all worth it!
You're right. She was just 'ranting' so she was free to say anything offensive that she liked because... rant...
hmmm
I just want a list of those people so I can make sure none of them are on my FL.
I've got a real low body shaming jerk tolerance and anyone who thinks using 'meathead' or 'trophy wife' is 'nervy' is no friend of mine.
I wouldn't be so sensitive - this is ppl over the internet - you certainly get positive attention looking like that in the real world 0 -
I definitely agree with building people up instead of knocking them down. it goes back to the simple fact that in society today, being overweight is looked down upon and being fit is praised, accepted and desired. as we all know, weight loss is a slow and steady process so no matter how healthy we might be, people will still assume we stuff our faces with pizza and live on the couch just because we're overweight. there aren't too many negative connotations with fit bodies, but definitely a lot more with overweight bodies. I don't think OP was trying to say that she doesn't like skinny people or something. I know how I still feel when I'm working out around a bunch of fit people. it definitely does take awhile to regain confidence in yourself after years of feeling a certain way. it takes a lot to be overweight and make the choice to get up and go to the gym. it takes a lot for anyone to get up and go to the gym!! lets all just be nice and understanding when it comes to things like this I mean really
Really? Because there are an awful lot of posts on this site alone about how gross skinny people can be, muscles are gross and manly, etc. It happens quite regularly. It is far more accepted, as seen in this thread, than saying negative things about overweight people.
I've seen (and heard in real life) comments about being vain in relation to fit people or that people starve themselves, are "hangry", use steroids, etc etc etc.
I do agree that being overweight does carry more of a negative stigma, but I wouldn't go so far as to say there aren't too many negative connotations of being fit. I don't think it is acceptable on either side.
Yes, the overweight are a protected class on MFP but the thin (trophy wives) or the fit (meat heads) can be attacked at will.
I disagree. i think on mfp in general people do not like body shaming full stop. you will see in my post that i believe the op has worded this badly, but i dont understand the need to keep blasting her.
Most people have replied to the OP once. Those who have come back continued a discussion with other people in the thread, not the OP. As long as the post stays in the recent topics, you will continue to have new people comment on the post as it is new to them.
Like I said earlier, many of the people here who objected to the OP's remarks would be the same people objecting to a similar post about overweight people. Bodyshaming isn't tolerated by the majority here, but there is definitely a difference between what is ok to be acceptable to be said about overweight people and what is acceptable to be said about "fit" people (I hate the phrase "fit shaming").0 -
Wait, the good news is that you surrounded yourself with people full of insecurities - how is that a strategy to improve?Thank you all for the constructive, mean and supportive feedback--it was all delightful and I guess stirred up some feelings. . Look I know--I know that my feeling here is not rational or even nice in some ways. Better a bunch of random people I don't know tell me what I already know--I am being an irrational idiot--than to avoid the gym because I lock this feeling up inside. It is indeed very true when we polk fun at others we are really showing our own insecurities and I recognize that is exactly what I was doing. Wherever you have been in a weight loss, weight gain or even sports fitness regime I bet you can relate just a little--even if you won't admit on a post.
The good news from all this harshness is that my in box is full with people who can relate to my own insecurities just like mine who might not have been so nervy to post this.
It's a serious question. I'd like to understand if this will somehow help some people.0 -
BAH
Saying that fit people intimidate you is one thing.
Calling someone a trophy wife implies that she has no redeeming qualities other than her looks.
It is offensive.
^i don't get this - 'trophy wife' should be a badge worn with honor. - youth and beauty are fleeting ppl.0 -
I know that that sounds stupid but I wish someone would open a gym where you have to be at least 25 pounds overweight to join. I go to a pretty nice one and overall people are pretty nice but when you are currently proud that you know you are exercising because your stomach fat has separated into two distinct groups working out next to Joe Meat head and Trophy wife wearing too much perfume and too little clothing can just make you feel less good about being there.
I know, I know, I am being silly and I should just ignore distractions like this but am I alone? Does anyone else feel just a little more insecure working out amongst the already insanely fit?
I think what you are looking for is "CURVES"0 -
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I can understand the fact that you may feel inferior or put off by those carrying less weight, I totally used to feel like that before joining David Lloyd (sorry for the plug). The trainers there are so hands on with everyone, and there are all different ages and body types working out that you just feel like part of a group of people striving for the same thing.
However, now sometimes I get excited by the fact that I run faster or longer than some people who are skinnier than me. I love that I will swim 40 laps of the pool while watching those I percieve fitter come and go.
Remember they are your goals and your dreams and no one should make you feel bad. I am pretty sure your post was just venting as it said in the title and that you were in fact asking to be supported and encouraged to keep going and doing what you are doing.
Feel free to add me
Keep on with your journey, make it a positive one. 0 -
It diminishes a person's value to their external appearance, without recognition for their hard work or intelligence.BAH
Saying that fit people intimidate you is one thing.
Calling someone a trophy wife implies that she has no redeeming qualities other than her looks.
It is offensive.
^i don't get this - 'trophy wife' should be a badge worn with honor. - youth and beauty are fleeting ppl.0 -
You don't get a lot. It is an incredibly offensive term.BAH
Saying that fit people intimidate you is one thing.
Calling someone a trophy wife implies that she has no redeeming qualities other than her looks.
It is offensive.
^i don't get this - 'trophy wife' should be a badge worn with honor. - youth and beauty are fleeting ppl.0 -
What if a lot of the "skinny" people at the gym that you go to were once overweight themselves? People go to the gym & exercise to get healthy & remain some kind of level of fitness.0
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In...
...before the roll.0 -
Super fit people at the gym motivate me. Check your jealousy at the door.0
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Thank you all for the constructive, mean and supportive feedback--it was all delightful and I guess stirred up some feelings. . Look I know--I know that my feeling here is not rational or even nice in some ways. Better a bunch of random people I don't know tell me what I already know--I am being an irrational idiot--than to avoid the gym because I lock this feeling up inside. It is indeed very true when we polk fun at others we are really showing our own insecurities and I recognize that is exactly what I was doing. Wherever you have been in a weight loss, weight gain or even sports fitness regime I bet you can relate just a little--even if you won't admit on a post.
The good news from all this harshness is that my in box is full with people who can relate to my own insecurities just like mine who might not have been so nervy to post this.
Do you also recognize that you shouldn't use derogatory names when describing the people at your gym?
It's ok, though! It was "nervy", and it earned her some like-minded friends, so it was all worth it!
You're right. She was just 'ranting' so she was free to say anything offensive that she liked because... rant...
hmmm
I just want a list of those people so I can make sure none of them are on my FL.
I've got a real low body shaming jerk tolerance and anyone who thinks using 'meathead' or 'trophy wife' is 'nervy' is no friend of mine. I wouldn't be so sensitive - this is ppl over the internet - you certainly get positive attention looking like that in the real world
I don't abide body shaming IRL or on the internet. I choose to remain 'sensitive'.0 -
BAH
Saying that fit people intimidate you is one thing.
Calling someone a trophy wife implies that she has no redeeming qualities other than her looks.
It is offensive.
^i don't get this - 'trophy wife' should be a badge worn with honor. - youth and beauty are fleeting ppl.
Then you don't understand the concept of being a trophy wife. It's not about being young and attractive. It's about their only worth being their youth and beauty, the only reason that their husband married them was because they looked good.0 -
It diminishes a person's value to their external appearance, without recognition for their hard work or intelligence.BAH
Saying that fit people intimidate you is one thing.
Calling someone a trophy wife implies that she has no redeeming qualities other than her looks.
It is offensive.
^i don't get this - 'trophy wife' should be a badge worn with honor. - youth and beauty are fleeting ppl.
Yeah but ppl do this to me all the time? Wuts the big deal? If you do work hard and are aware of the intelligence you've been cursed with - wuts the problem?
I don't think it diminishes value at all - it just places a great deal of value on something that is so important because it is sooo temporary.0 -
Give her a break people, learning to feel differently about yourself is part of the process!
I agree very much with this, but also this:Not trying to offend, but if its not okay for a thin person to tell a heavy person to stop hogging the machines and let a fit person have them, than its not okay to wish away a thin person because you don't like the way you look.
I understand very much where the feeling comes from. I feel insecure still sometimes when doing weights.
I will tell you though, at my old gym, there was a woman there at LEAST 300 pounds overweight, and she would be there EVERY time I was, which was the same as me- 3/4 days a week for 2 years (before it closed). She wasn't going quickly, but y the time the gym shut down I would say that she was 200 pounds overweight instead of three. I always wanted to tell her how awesome she was doing, and I'm sorry I didn't.
I am by no means tiny, nor was I was when I started. However- I was seriously inspired by her perseverance, and her progress. If people look at you, it's not always negative. And those that would give you **** for being in a GYM and working on yourself are ****s. We all start somewhere.0 -
BAH
Saying that fit people intimidate you is one thing.
Calling someone a trophy wife implies that she has no redeeming qualities other than her looks.
It is offensive.
^i don't get this - 'trophy wife' should be a badge worn with honor. - youth and beauty are fleeting ppl.
Then you don't understand the concept of being a trophy wife. It's not about being young and attractive. It's about their only worth being their youth and beauty, the only reason that their husband married them was because they looked good.
still confused about what is wrong with that? :noway:
edit: just want to add- I think you all forget 43% of marriages end the first time (which is why you all need to stinkin remember to get a prenup for Pete's sake - I have trouble picking which designer shoes I want to rock every morning let alone which women your teaming up with for the rest of your life ) - if someone has a CLEAR reason on why they got married - aka beauty I feel like they have much better odds of beating the statistic. 0 -
Hey I want to be a Trophy Wife, just without the husband is that possible?
PS.... this thread is really silly, and the OP really just needs to concentrate on herself, in time and as her fitness level increases, others at the gym will not be so intimidating to her.0 -
BAH
Saying that fit people intimidate you is one thing.
Calling someone a trophy wife implies that she has no redeeming qualities other than her looks.
It is offensive.
^i don't get this - 'trophy wife' should be a badge worn with honor. - youth and beauty are fleeting ppl.
Then you don't understand the concept of being a trophy wife. It's not about being young and attractive. It's about their only worth being their youth and beauty, the only reason that their husband married them was because they looked good.
still confused about what is wrong with that? :noway:
You've been given several excellent reasons why. It's SHALLOW. Being shallow is not a good thing.0 -
So I am at the gym 5 - 6 days/week and usually I go in the morning before work so I can have my nights to do things like see family and spend time with my SO and sometimes just read for 4 hours straight lol . . .
Anyways, some mornings I just don't want to get up that early or I have an early meeting so I just can't make it to the gym before work and I will go afterwards. Last week, this happened twice. So I am there, doing my thing when a personal trainer comes up to me and asks if I would be interested in some "mini-sessions" with her to you know, "show me around the gym, make sure I am using proper form and technique and such". I have been going to the gym for over 2 years. I get that I am not there a lot at night, but this is at least the 10th time in 6 months she's hinted at this same thing.
I get it - I am not small, I look like I am new but I'm not and I have done very well on my own. She isn't doing much to show she's a quality trainer when she can't even remember she's already talked to me before.
I get that "skinny" people actually are the only ones who look like they know what they're doing but so do some of us, who recognize fit can come in different sizes.
It really bothers me that she does this and, if I'm having an off day, can really make me feel like I am being judged by being there.
However, side note to make this even longer - there's a girl who is really fit that goes to the same gym as me and we're usually on the same schedule so sometimes we chat. One time, I mentioned jokingly I was trying a new exercise so don't judge if I look like an idiot. She said to me you're here, you're doing your thing and you're making an attempt to better your life - no one has the right to judge you and she even said how much she respects me for holding my own in a place where people who don't look like fitness models often feel judged. She is super fit and she's respecting me . . . . so maybe give them some credit, you don't always know what people are thinking.0 -
It diminishes a person's value to their external appearance, without recognition for their hard work or intelligence.BAH
Saying that fit people intimidate you is one thing.
Calling someone a trophy wife implies that she has no redeeming qualities other than her looks.
It is offensive.
^i don't get this - 'trophy wife' should be a badge worn with honor. - youth and beauty are fleeting ppl.
Yeah but ppl do this to me all the time? Wuts the big deal? If you do work hard and are aware of the intelligence you've been cursed with - wuts the problem?
I don't think it diminishes value at all - it just places a great deal of value on something that is so important because it is sooo temporary.
But it does diminish value. A Trophy isn't useful. It is just pretty. You can't eat it, or use it to fix things, or drive it to work. You show it off, but you don't bring it with you when you are doing important things.
Calling a person a trophy is saying that someone is useless, but nice to look at.0 -
It's funny.
If you want to be an engineer, you surround yourself with smart engineers and learn from them.
If you want to be a doctor, you go to a medical school and surround yourself with doctors.
If you want to be a lawyer, you surround yourself with winning lawyers.
You wouldn't go to a clown school for seven years and expect to leave with an advanced degree.
But...
When people want to be skinny, so many want to surround themselves with other fat folks. What results would you expect from that strategy?0 -
don't have time to read the entire thread...
ok OP... I can understand and perhaps at the beginning of my lifestyle change relate to a little of your concern. Hey.. before I even began working out I wouldn't even step foot in a gym as I was too ashamed of myself! when I did begin my workouts, it was four months before I joined a gym (which was not the smartest idea!). I did all cardio - wish I did cardio & strength/weights at the same time those four months. when I did finally go to the gym I would only do classes to sorta 'hide' (body pump, cxworx, zumba, yoga, pilates, etc). finally, I was 'brave' enough to go out on the floor to the weights & strength machines. what I found was that the people who are there are concerned with their own workouts. they don't care what I'm doing. I can go about my own business doing my thing and not be judged. I'm the only one judging me. and if they do judge me - that's their problem. now, I am mostly on the floor and only rarely go to the classes. those people you speak of are my inspiration. I aspire to be as fit and toned as they are. oh and guess what??? they're helpful & nice too!
so I encourage you to just take the first step and go. as you continue to go you will become more comfortable and feel like you fit right in!0 -
I definitely agree with building people up instead of knocking them down. it goes back to the simple fact that in society today, being overweight is looked down upon and being fit is praised, accepted and desired. as we all know, weight loss is a slow and steady process so no matter how healthy we might be, people will still assume we stuff our faces with pizza and live on the couch just because we're overweight. there aren't too many negative connotations with fit bodies, but definitely a lot more with overweight bodies. I don't think OP was trying to say that she doesn't like skinny people or something. I know how I still feel when I'm working out around a bunch of fit people. it definitely does take awhile to regain confidence in yourself after years of feeling a certain way. it takes a lot to be overweight and make the choice to get up and go to the gym. it takes a lot for anyone to get up and go to the gym!! lets all just be nice and understanding when it comes to things like this I mean really
Really? Because there are an awful lot of posts on this site alone about how gross skinny can be, muscles are gross, woman called manly, etc. It happens quite regularly. It is far more accepted, as seen in this thread, than saying negative things about overweight people.
I've seen (and heard in real life) comments about being vain in relation to fit/skinny people or that people starve themselves, are "hangry", use steroids, etc etc etc.
I do agree that being overweight does carry more of a negative stigma, but I wouldn't go so far as to say there aren't too many negative connotations of being fit. I don't think it is acceptable on either side.
Wow, really, there are people on this site having a go at others because they are too fit? I don't think that's what the OP was trying to do, but I can see how it touched some nerves. You learn something new every day. I guess we all need to get better at shrugging off other people's opinions then.0
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