vent--There are too many skinny people at the gym
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Replies
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I understand what you are saying. I myself am not the most over weight person. But we ALL have fitness goals and they may be hard to obtain even if you are a fit person. Besides from my perspective everyone at the gym is kind of silently cheering on everyone else. So please don't feel like you don't fit in or that you're being judged. Everyone is fighting some kind of battle.
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Thank you all for the constructive, mean and supportive feedback--it was all delightful and I guess stirred up some feelings. . Look I know--I know that my feeling here is not rational or even nice in some ways. Better a bunch of random people I don't know tell me what I already know--I am being an irrational idiot--than to avoid the gym because I lock this feeling up inside. It is indeed very true when we polk fun at others we are really showing our own insecurities and I recognize that is exactly what I was doing. Wherever you have been in a weight loss, weight gain or even sports fitness regime I bet you can relate just a little--even if you won't admit on a post.
The good news from all this harshness is that my in box is full with people who can relate to my own insecurities just like mine who might not have been so nervy to post this.
And I'll say it again. This should have been something posted on your feed or the MFP Blog Post.
What did you honestly expect would happen posting on a public forum and essentially insulting people?0 -
If you all think she's being rude, most of your are being rude right back! Talk about hypocrites. If you don't have anything nice to say, DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL. Jeesh, just be the bigger person if you think she was being so rude and ignore the post.
I'm sorry OP for all the comments. It's not like you were being malicious or anything. Everyone just needs to give it a rest and move on.
So. I'm supposed to be nice to people who basically think people who look like me don't belong at her gym?
Why is that the insulted party is always the one obligated to be nice?
Again, did the OP say that? I haven't read all the replies so perhaps she did later, but she certainly did NOT say that in her first post.TOPIC: vent--There are too many skinny people at the gym
If this doesn't mean 'I want less skinny people at the gym.' that what, exactly, does it mean to you? There are too many skinny people at the gym, but that's Aok? Too many of them, but I don't mind?
Enlighten me Obi-Wan, for clearly I have misunderstood.
First of all, thanks for calling me Obi-Wan
So you think you are a skinny trophy wife and took the remarks personally. Got that. But I don't see where the OP said you didn't belong at the gym. She said she was uncomfortable working out next to you. For the life of me I can't imagine why.
So. If I go 'There are too many white people at my gym' (seriously, the damn place is full of them!) that doesn't imply I don't think they should be there/don't want them there?
Well. If that's how you feel then there is nothing more to say because I'm genuinely incapable of possibly understanding you.
Good day.
and to top it off you would say...
"I think we should have a gym where you have to have at least 25% African-American in your heritage to be able to join."
What the what? She did not say anything even NEAR to anything like that. I am firmly convinced you are just making things up in your head now to prolong this back-and-forth. There is no way anyone could pull that out of what she said. Stop causing trouble for no reason. :noway:
how is it any different?
"there are too many skinny people, i wish there was a gym where you had to be at least 25lbs overweight to be able to join. I am very insecure around fit people"
and then the other example
"there are too many white women, I wish there was a gym where you had to be at least 25% black to be able to join. I am very insecure around white women."0 -
NEWSFLASH-Everywhere you go people look at you and judge you.
This thread has made me realize how utterly pathetic and dangerous insecurity really is.0 -
I definitely agree with building people up instead of knocking them down. it goes back to the simple fact that in society today, being overweight is looked down upon and being fit is praised, accepted and desired. as we all know, weight loss is a slow and steady process so no matter how healthy we might be, people will still assume we stuff our faces with pizza and live on the couch just because we're overweight. there aren't too many negative connotations with fit bodies, but definitely a lot more with overweight bodies. I don't think OP was trying to say that she doesn't like skinny people or something. I know how I still feel when I'm working out around a bunch of fit people. it definitely does take awhile to regain confidence in yourself after years of feeling a certain way. it takes a lot to be overweight and make the choice to get up and go to the gym. it takes a lot for anyone to get up and go to the gym!! lets all just be nice and understanding when it comes to things like this I mean really
Really? Because there are an awful lot of posts on this site alone about how gross skinny can be, muscles are gross, woman called manly, etc. It happens quite regularly. It is far more accepted, as seen in this thread, than saying negative things about overweight people.
I've seen (and heard in real life) comments about being vain in relation to fit/skinny people or that people starve themselves, are "hangry", use steroids, etc etc etc.
I do agree that being overweight does carry more of a negative stigma, but I wouldn't go so far as to say there aren't too many negative connotations of being fit. I don't think it is acceptable on either side.0 -
Thank you all for the constructive, mean and supportive feedback--it was all delightful and I guess stirred up some feelings. . Look I know--I know that my feeling here is not rational or even nice in some ways. Better a bunch of random people I don't know tell me what I already know--I am being an irrational idiot--than to avoid the gym because I lock this feeling up inside. It is indeed very true when we polk fun at others we are really showing our own insecurities and I recognize that is exactly what I was doing. Wherever you have been in a weight loss, weight gain or even sports fitness regime I bet you can relate just a little--even if you won't admit on a post.
The good news from all this harshness is that my in box is full with people who can relate to my own insecurities just like mine who might not have been so nervy to post this.
Do you also recognize that you shouldn't use derogatory names when describing the people at your gym?
It's ok, though! It was "nervy", and it earned her some like-minded friends, so it was all worth it!0 -
This may be the wrong place to ask: Anybody starting a 30 day challenge thread with Gelato's for July? Or 28 days? Anyone? Bueller? As for the OP's question: I go to the gym and workout, I do not look at others who may or may not be working out. I'm there for a reason. Either get busy doing or get busy_-_-_-_-_ . . . .okay seriously, I need Gelato. No challenge, I may get a little cranky. . . . .come on!0
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Do your own thing and don't worry about anyone else.0
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I definitely agree with building people up instead of knocking them down. it goes back to the simple fact that in society today, being overweight is looked down upon and being fit is praised, accepted and desired. as we all know, weight loss is a slow and steady process so no matter how healthy we might be, people will still assume we stuff our faces with pizza and live on the couch just because we're overweight. there aren't too many negative connotations with fit bodies, but definitely a lot more with overweight bodies. I don't think OP was trying to say that she doesn't like skinny people or something. I know how I still feel when I'm working out around a bunch of fit people. it definitely does take awhile to regain confidence in yourself after years of feeling a certain way. it takes a lot to be overweight and make the choice to get up and go to the gym. it takes a lot for anyone to get up and go to the gym!! lets all just be nice and understanding when it comes to things like this I mean really
Really? Because there are an awful lot of posts on this site alone about how gross skinny people can be, muscles are gross and manly, etc. It happens quite regularly. It is far more accepted, as seen in this thread, than saying negative things about overweight people.
I've seen (and heard in real life) comments about being vain in relation to fit people or that people starve themselves, are "hangry", use steroids, etc etc etc.
I do agree that being overweight does carry more of a negative stigma, but I wouldn't go so far as to say there aren't too many negative connotations of being fit. I don't think it is acceptable on either side.
Yes, the overweight are a protected class on MFP but the thin (trophy wives) or the fit (meat heads) can be attacked at will.0 -
Thank you all for the constructive, mean and supportive feedback--it was all delightful and I guess stirred up some feelings. . Look I know--I know that my feeling here is not rational or even nice in some ways. Better a bunch of random people I don't know tell me what I already know--I am being an irrational idiot--than to avoid the gym because I lock this feeling up inside. It is indeed very true when we polk fun at others we are really showing our own insecurities and I recognize that is exactly what I was doing. Wherever you have been in a weight loss, weight gain or even sports fitness regime I bet you can relate just a little--even if you won't admit on a post.
The good news from all this harshness is that my in box is full with people who can relate to my own insecurities just like mine who might not have been so nervy to post this.
Do you also recognize that you shouldn't use derogatory names when describing the people at your gym?
It's ok, though! It was "nervy", and it earned her some like-minded friends, so it was all worth it!
job done then.0 -
Thank you all for the constructive, mean and supportive feedback--it was all delightful and I guess stirred up some feelings. . Look I know--I know that my feeling here is not rational or even nice in some ways. Better a bunch of random people I don't know tell me what I already know--I am being an irrational idiot--than to avoid the gym because I lock this feeling up inside. It is indeed very true when we polk fun at others we are really showing our own insecurities and I recognize that is exactly what I was doing. Wherever you have been in a weight loss, weight gain or even sports fitness regime I bet you can relate just a little--even if you won't admit on a post.
The good news from all this harshness is that my in box is full with people who can relate to my own insecurities just like mine who might not have been so nervy to post this.
Do you also recognize that you shouldn't use derogatory names when describing the people at your gym?
It's ok, though! It was "nervy", and it earned her some like-minded friends, so it was all worth it!
You're right. She was just 'ranting' so she was free to say anything offensive that she liked because... rant...
hmmm0 -
lmao - It is intimidating for everyone when they first go - I was in the same boat as well. I saw a guy at the gym on Tuesday and it was obviously his first time - he got on the row machine backwards :laugh:
No worries, everyone starts somewhere - use the healthy skinny people as motivation of where you want to be. :smokin:0 -
This may be the wrong place to ask: Anybody starting a 30 day challenge thread with Gelato's for July? Or 28 days? Anyone? Bueller? As for the OP's question: I go to the gym and workout, I do not look at others who may or may not be working out. I'm there for a reason. Either get busy doing or get busy_-_-_-_-_ . . . .okay seriously, I need Gelato. No challenge, I may get a little cranky. . . . .come on!
*points toward LOLBroScience* He's the man to bug
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I kind of get where the original poster is coming from. Or at least I think I do.
Having read a few of the other posts in this thread, I have a *slightly* different view point than I did initially.
Not talking about anyone else, but for me personally, the idea of being obese and working out (and being pale skinned so of course I go bright red even just thinking about working out!) scares me. Irrational? Totally. Should I really care what others may think about me? Well, no, but the irrational kicks in and I think of things said to me in the past etc.
Anyway, perhaps the point is, it's not that there are too many skinny people, or meat heads, or trophy wives in a gym, but it's the way one feels about themselves that causes the trepidation of going to the gym and working out.
So, um, yeah. That's why I'm looking at alternatives than just going to the gym. When my self-esteem improves, then I may check out a gym, possibly lighter in pounds, still just as beet red. :happy:0 -
If you all think she's being rude, most of your are being rude right back! Talk about hypocrites. If you don't have anything nice to say, DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL. Jeesh, just be the bigger person if you think she was being so rude and ignore the post.
I'm sorry OP for all the comments. It's not like you were being malicious or anything. Everyone just needs to give it a rest and move on.
So. I'm supposed to be nice to people who basically think people who look like me don't belong at her gym?
Why is that the insulted party is always the one obligated to be nice?
Again, did the OP say that? I haven't read all the replies so perhaps she did later, but she certainly did NOT say that in her first post.TOPIC: vent--There are too many skinny people at the gym
If this doesn't mean 'I want less skinny people at the gym.' that what, exactly, does it mean to you? There are too many skinny people at the gym, but that's Aok? Too many of them, but I don't mind?
Enlighten me Obi-Wan, for clearly I have misunderstood.
First of all, thanks for calling me Obi-Wan
So you think you are a skinny trophy wife and took the remarks personally. Got that. But I don't see where the OP said you didn't belong at the gym. She said she was uncomfortable working out next to you. For the life of me I can't imagine why.
So. If I go 'There are too many white people at my gym' (seriously, the damn place is full of them!) that doesn't imply I don't think they should be there/don't want them there?
Well. If that's how you feel then there is nothing more to say because I'm genuinely incapable of possibly understanding you.
Good day.
and to top it off you would say...
"I think we should have a gym where you have to have at least 25% African-American in your heritage to be able to join."
What the what? She did not say anything even NEAR to anything like that. I am firmly convinced you are just making things up in your head now to prolong this back-and-forth. There is no way anyone could pull that out of what she said. Stop causing trouble for no reason. :noway:
how is it any different?
"there are too many skinny people, i wish there was a gym where you had to be at least 25lbs overweight to be able to join. I am very insecure around fit people"
and then the other example
"there are too many white women, I wish there was a gym where you had to be at least 25% black to be able to join. I am very insecure around white women."
Except....she didn't say that. She was using it was an example to show how unbelievably inappropriate and judgmental the idea of excluding people who look different from you is. Whether it's weight or skin color or age or whatever, it's wrong.0 -
I definitely agree with building people up instead of knocking them down. it goes back to the simple fact that in society today, being overweight is looked down upon and being fit is praised, accepted and desired. as we all know, weight loss is a slow and steady process so no matter how healthy we might be, people will still assume we stuff our faces with pizza and live on the couch just because we're overweight. there aren't too many negative connotations with fit bodies, but definitely a lot more with overweight bodies. I don't think OP was trying to say that she doesn't like skinny people or something. I know how I still feel when I'm working out around a bunch of fit people. it definitely does take awhile to regain confidence in yourself after years of feeling a certain way. it takes a lot to be overweight and make the choice to get up and go to the gym. it takes a lot for anyone to get up and go to the gym!! lets all just be nice and understanding when it comes to things like this I mean really
Really? Because there are an awful lot of posts on this site alone about how gross skinny people can be, muscles are gross and manly, etc. It happens quite regularly. It is far more accepted, as seen in this thread, than saying negative things about overweight people.
I've seen (and heard in real life) comments about being vain in relation to fit people or that people starve themselves, are "hangry", use steroids, etc etc etc.
I do agree that being overweight does carry more of a negative stigma, but I wouldn't go so far as to say there aren't too many negative connotations of being fit. I don't think it is acceptable on either side.
Yes, the overweight are a protected class on MFP but the thin (trophy wives) or the fit (meat heads) can be attacked at will.
I disagree. i think on mfp in general people do not like body shaming full stop. you will see in my post that i believe the op has worded this badly, but i dont understand the need to keep blasting her.0 -
This may be the wrong place to ask: Anybody starting a 30 day challenge thread with Gelato's for July? Or 28 days? Anyone? Bueller? As for the OP's question: I go to the gym and workout, I do not look at others who may or may not be working out. I'm there for a reason. Either get busy doing or get busy_-_-_-_-_ . . . .okay seriously, I need Gelato. No challenge, I may get a little cranky. . . . .come on!
*points toward LOLBroScience* He's the man to bug
don't judge me :frown:0 -
Hey, it's normal to have feelings of insecurity at times. But, the feelings are inside of you. Others are not thinking it. And if they are, they are acting like children. I suggest working through those feelings, realizing how much more fun life can be without all that and instead get out there and enjoy life with confidence. Life is too short. You only live once. Have fun!!! And soon you will be "one of the fit ones at the gym".0
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This may be the wrong place to ask: Anybody starting a 30 day challenge thread with Gelato's for July? Or 28 days? Anyone? Bueller? As for the OP's question: I go to the gym and workout, I do not look at others who may or may not be working out. I'm there for a reason. Either get busy doing or get busy_-_-_-_-_ . . . .okay seriously, I need Gelato. No challenge, I may get a little cranky. . . . .come on!
*points toward LOLBroScience* He's the man to bug
don't judge me :frown:
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Thank you all for the constructive, mean and supportive feedback--it was all delightful and I guess stirred up some feelings. . Look I know--I know that my feeling here is not rational or even nice in some ways. Better a bunch of random people I don't know tell me what I already know--I am being an irrational idiot--than to avoid the gym because I lock this feeling up inside. It is indeed very true when we polk fun at others we are really showing our own insecurities and I recognize that is exactly what I was doing. Wherever you have been in a weight loss, weight gain or even sports fitness regime I bet you can relate just a little--even if you won't admit on a post.
The good news from all this harshness is that my in box is full with people who can relate to my own insecurities just like mine who might not have been so nervy to post this.
Do you also recognize that you shouldn't use derogatory names when describing the people at your gym?
It's ok, though! It was "nervy", and it earned her some like-minded friends, so it was all worth it!
job done then.
You seem to be struggling with the concept of sarcasm and the recognition of its application.0
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