Not tonight honey, a Friends re-run is on....

1…4567810»

Replies

  • HardyGirl4Ever
    HardyGirl4Ever Posts: 1,017 Member
    Some women are just insecure and also sometimes they are not that sexual. I don't think the wife is horrible for feeling gross. Maybe they should go to a relationship counselor or sex therapist. I've seen on tv that that can help.
  • MikeCrazy
    MikeCrazy Posts: 2,716 Member
    Some women are just insecure and also sometimes they are not that sexual. I don't think the wife is horrible for feeling gross. Maybe they should go to a relationship counselor or sex therapist. I've seen on tv that that can help.

    Me and me wife are going ot a sex therapist....so far, it's good. She can say things there that she can't seem to say at home...weird.
  • PurringMyrrh
    PurringMyrrh Posts: 5,276 Member
    My spreadsheet would be so boring.

    He initiated, we had super hot time, every, single, day.

    Except Wednesdays. We don't spend the night together on Wednesdays.

    Jelly - ugh...
    No doubt. Could she rub that in any harder?!




    No seriously, just a little harder please.
  • Ms_Chai
    Ms_Chai Posts: 86 Member
    Well a woman making her husband feel like he has to beg for it, completely disturbs his ability to feel respected and appreciated by his partner. The spreadsheet was not most likely a whim, but probably came from years of this rejection. The premise that both people need time sometimes is total bunk in this situation as the spreadsheet chronicles his pursuit of his wife and rejection over and over again.
    In a marriage couples belong to each other, it is when they start thinking of themselves and forget the other person in the relationship that pain like this comes out. No one remembers who threw the first punch, but both are bloody and beat by the end of the fight.

    Sure....it is clearly chronicled that the wife is rejecting her husband "over and over again" for 6 WEEKS. In a marriage, that will hopefully last many, many years, a 6 week period is practically nothing. At some point, the husband may not be as interested for a 6 week time period. Would the wife then have reason to cheat, or to imply that her husband's only worth is how he performs sexually? My issue is with his presentation of his problems with her, and the people in this thread implying that he now has some "right" or reason to cheat.
  • liftmeup1
    liftmeup1 Posts: 373
    My only question is, how long does he have to put himself out there before his anger is justified?
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    My spreadsheet would be so boring.

    He initiated, we had super hot time, every, single, day.

    Except Wednesdays. We don't spend the night together on Wednesdays.

    Yeah.. ok :laugh:
  • Ms_Chai
    Ms_Chai Posts: 86 Member
    My only question is, how long does he have to put himself out there before his anger is justified?

    There is no point in which his anger would be justified. In my opinion he doesn't have a right to be angry if she doesn't want to have sex. If she isn't into sex, then she isn't into sex. People change. If he is unhappy with the relationship and actual efforts (therapy, seeing what she wants sexually, etc) have not worked, then he should get out...and I wouldn't blame him for that one bit. Just as I wouldn't blame him for being dissatisfied with the relationship due to the lack of sex. But, insulting her and attempting to coerce/guilt her into sex isn't the way to go to solve a problem like that.
  • liftmeup1
    liftmeup1 Posts: 373
    My honest opinion is he is still in love with her, or why would he even care about taking the time. Women really mess us guys up and we can't just go complain to our girlfriends. Usually we feel bad about bashing our woman to anyone, wish the ladies felt the same.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    Oh boy. I would never bash my husband to anyone. And if I did, it would just make me look bad. I could never do that. He is so wonderful. Any issues I have would be my own, not because of him.
  • paperpudding
    paperpudding Posts: 9,302 Member
    Basically this: ladies, please your man or I'm going to come along and do it for you.

    Lots of women simply don't get this but its true. There is always some woman willing to take up the slack.

    If a woman doesn't want to have sex with her husband she becomes just a room mate. We men don't even consider it cheating if its on a room mate!

    If a GF doesn't want sex as often as we do we will cheat on her. Fact.

    If the relationship is on the rocks the rocks are in the bed.

    I don't think this is a gender issue either, it works both ways.

    Bottom line, find someone who is sexually compatible with you. Life is too short to go without.

    In a long term relationship, there will likely be periods of time when partners are not sexually compatible - ie one would like it more often than the other due to many many reasons - having a baby, stress, exhaustion, illness etc .

    Hopefully most people can accept this and try to compromise because they love each other - not just leave because life is too short to go without at all.
  • MelsAuntie
    MelsAuntie Posts: 2,833 Member
    My husband is diabetic and cannot.... am I supposed to get sex elsewhere then? No thank you, I'd rather do without or do for myself than hurt my mate of 43 years. Sex can be great fun, but if that's the only thing holding a couple together, how shallow, and how sad.
  • barbiesykes
    barbiesykes Posts: 5
    perhaps its not that she doesn't want to be physical with her husband...perhaps like in my case it is simply that I feel my body is so gross I am ashamed of it and don't want my husband to see it. We don't really know all the reasons behind why she is saying no and if she keeps saying no why isn't he asking her why instead of making a spreadsheet.

    My husband (thank goodness) has been very understanding in how I feel about myself. He knows what I am like when I'm thin and now when I'm not - he knows what is going on with me and doesn't pressure me. He knows when I am ready he better be rested up ;)
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    My husband is diabetic and cannot.... am I supposed to get sex elsewhere then? No thank you, I'd rather do without or do for myself than hurt my mate of 43 years. Sex can be great fun, but if that's the only thing holding a couple together, how shallow, and how sad.

    This explains so much.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    There is still a lot that can be done, even if you can't have intercourse. But, everyone likes different things, of course. I wouldn't let it hold me back from continuing an intimate sex life with my partner. I understand if it's not possible for everyone.
  • sweetcurlz67
    sweetcurlz67 Posts: 1,168 Member
    didn't read entire thread, response to OP...

    we don't know the entire story however....

    let's say he DID communicate with her on a regular basis prior to the spreadsheet. we don't know. ppl assume he did not. This could have been his last ditch effort.

    perhaps they did go to counseling, again, we don't know.

    IMO... keeping a log/journal of issues (good & bad) is not a bad thing. couples can share this log in their communication efforts. in addition, if the relationship goes south it will come in handy in a divorce proceeding.

    making it public like 'she' did, now that was wrong.

Categories