Not tonight honey, a Friends re-run is on....

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  • Me2FitMe
    Me2FitMe Posts: 1,284 Member
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    What?!?!?!?!?!!!!!! you're allowed to say no?! But why would you?! :noway: :grumble:
  • kmbweber2014
    kmbweber2014 Posts: 680 Member
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    Clearly neither of them are mature enough to be married.
  • lovekohl
    lovekohl Posts: 111 Member
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    I do love a good spreadsheet.

    +1
  • Beautifulreflections
    Beautifulreflections Posts: 86 Member
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    What?!?!?!?!?!!!!!! you're allowed to say no?! But why would you?! :noway: :grumble:

    THAT'S WHAT I SAID!!!

    I am printing this list out and brining it home to the hubs as proof that wives can say no...

    but I know him well enough to know that I'll say: "Look at this list! Women say no to sex all the time. I want you to listen to me now when I say no."

    He'll hear: "Look, sex, now"
  • trojan_bb
    trojan_bb Posts: 699 Member
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    This is going to be long winded and angry because quite frankly the responses in this thread have me annoyed as all freaking get out.

    1. Women are NOT always the one who turns the partner down. This is a myth that has to die. NOW. I know plenty of women who happen to feel like the turned down party. Women who are beautiful, women who try things. Women who are HURT by this.
    And what's more hurtful is threads like this where every idiot man and woman is coming to the consensus that it's always this way.
    How do you think the often turned down woman feels when she is told by society that men ALWAYS want it and women ALWAYS turn it down . They wonder why they aren't wanted.

    2. Relationships have ebbs and flows. From what I have gathered in recent experience the more you bring up the fact that it's not happening between the sheets, the more the partner not putting out refuses. Constantly bringing it up doesn't help. Spreadsheets won't help. All it's going to do is make you feel like you are married to an insensitive man/woman.

    3. The man not getting attention = memes about men not getting any and cheating? Let's reverse this. A woman only gets it four times a month makes a spreadsheet then cheats or leaves .Chances are a lot more excuses will be made for the man and a lot of people will call the woman dirty things.

    4. Relationships are supposed to be a good thing. But sex is NOT an obligation. A woman should not feel "lucky" her partner wants her. A m,an should not feel "lucky" that his partner wants him. The two should feel fortunate to have a wonderful partnership that sometimes leads to some hot banging.

    You are going to some amazing extremes to stick up for her behavior based on almost no information and an obviously one-sided story (which somehow still shows her in a bad light).



    I am printing this list out and brining it home to the hubs as proof that wives can say no...

    but I know him well enough to know that I'll say: "Look at this list! Women say no to sex all the time. I want you to listen to me now when I say no."


    Yes, people say no to sex 27/30 consecutive times with lame excuses. They share one thing in common. An imminent divorce.
  • PurringMyrrh
    PurringMyrrh Posts: 5,276 Member
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    Basically this: ladies, please your man or I'm going to come along and do it for you.
  • DenDweller
    DenDweller Posts: 1,438 Member
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    I fear this couple is doomed. I hope for their sake I'm wrong.

    Though it's a relatively common issue where one party wants more sex than the other can currently provide, (Braggadocio aside guys, there will probably be a point in a long term relationship where the shoe will be on the other foot.), in a marriage that will hopefully last a half-century or more this is a relatively pleasant and easy issue to solve.

    20+ years ago, on a business trip after I was recently married, I received a bit of unsolicited advice from an old curmudgeon at the job site, "Take care of business, or somebody else will." Although trite and not mindful of the bigger concerns of emotion, this expression serves as a reminder that letting things go has its own consequences.

    If a couple can't find a reasonable solution for this problem, life's gonna smack 'em around a bit.

    Edit: Grammar
  • ncrugbyprop
    ncrugbyprop Posts: 96 Member
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    "Hey sweetie, you feelin' some magic in the air?"
    Significant other gives disapproving look.
    "Ok, well goodnight then. Love you snookie bottoms. Say can you hand me the lotion and some tissues?"

    Problem solved. Except for their crappy relationship.
  • jd1208
    jd1208 Posts: 81 Member
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    I don't think there is anything wrong with the spreadsheet, spreadsheets can be a very affective means of communication. But I do think there is something wrong with saying he won't miss her on her ten day trip because of it. It's just the same as saying that sex is all she is good for. Not a great way to insite an intimate relationship. Maybe if he had just presented the spreadsheet and asked her what the real reason is.
  • MityMax96
    MityMax96 Posts: 5,778 Member
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    Would she be ok if he were to withhold certain forms of affection she desires??
    Like no kisses, no hugs, no holding hands, no helping out around the house (if he did so), etc....

    Just wondering for the posters in here that think he was in the wrong.

    They are in a marriage....there are certain duties that both do, because their partner desires these things.
    Men typically desire the sex and physical aspect of things.

    Women typically desire the emotional / affection side of things
  • Jennisin1
    Jennisin1 Posts: 574 Member
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    Marriage is a social contract. If you are not going to put a good faith effort into fullfilling your side of that contract... then the contract becomes void. Period.
  • GDLAZ
    GDLAZ Posts: 3,784 Member
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    I think I said no once after a hernia surgery...
  • GDLAZ
    GDLAZ Posts: 3,784 Member
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    I wonder how Rain Man would crunch these numbers? "Definitely had sex on Thursday, definitely."
  • TXRanchGirl
    TXRanchGirl Posts: 303
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    Women typically desire the emotional / affection side of things

    ahem..plenty of us desire hot sex too..:)
    just sayin'

    BUT..I will tell ya..the quickest way to zap any desire I have is to not fullfill my emotional/affection needs..like most women.

    I am not excusing any behavior..but its a full circle..men have to understand women and women have to understand men..and we all have to understand that the normalcy within our gender sometimes is NOT normal all the time.
  • Blacklance36
    Blacklance36 Posts: 755 Member
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    Basically this: ladies, please your man or I'm going to come along and do it for you.

    Lots of women simply don't get this but its true. There is always some woman willing to take up the slack.

    If a woman doesn't want to have sex with her husband she becomes just a room mate. We men don't even consider it cheating if its on a room mate!

    If a GF doesn't want sex as often as we do we will cheat on her. Fact.

    If the relationship is on the rocks the rocks are in the bed.

    I don't think this is a gender issue either, it works both ways.

    Bottom line, find someone who is sexually compatible with you. Life is too short to go without.
  • MityMax96
    MityMax96 Posts: 5,778 Member
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    Women typically desire the emotional / affection side of things

    ahem..plenty of us desire hot sex too..:)
    just sayin'

    BUT..I will tell ya..the quickest way to zap any desire I have is to not fullfill my emotional/affection needs..like most women.

    I am not excusing any behavior..but its a full circle..men have to understand women and women have to understand men..and we all have to understand that the normalcy within our gender sometimes is NOT normal all the time.

    tumblr_lxtjxbKOWY1r3dtleo1_400.gif
    :bigsmile: :bigsmile:
  • Mama_Jag
    Mama_Jag Posts: 474 Member
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    I assume there is a lot we don't know.

    Him telling her he won't miss her when she is gone and using this spreadsheet as an example sends a message that's all she is good for. He very well may have made her feel that way in the past. That could be a driver in her not wanting to be intimate - but by all means, blame her.

    And her posting it?? Ridiculous.
  • TXRanchGirl
    TXRanchGirl Posts: 303
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    whats a sure cure for Nymphomania?

    wait for it....

    wait for it....




    a wedding cake..




    BUYAH!
  • TXRanchGirl
    TXRanchGirl Posts: 303
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    Women typically desire the emotional / affection side of things

    ahem..plenty of us desire hot sex too..:)
    just sayin'

    BUT..I will tell ya..the quickest way to zap any desire I have is to not fullfill my emotional/affection needs..like most women.

    I am not excusing any behavior..but its a full circle..men have to understand women and women have to understand men..and we all have to understand that the normalcy within our gender sometimes is NOT normal all the time.

    tumblr_lxtjxbKOWY1r3dtleo1_400.gif
    :bigsmile: :bigsmile:

    ROTFL!
    Just want to make it known..plenty of us chics are not frigid beaches..
  • cronly
    cronly Posts: 307 Member
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    There are a lot of interesting views on this subject here. But the truth remains that about half of all marriages end in divorce in the US. If most of you are from the US, then is it safe to assume that half of you have a mistaken opinion on what makes a successful marriage?

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