Why are people so hateful??

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Replies

  • sjaplo
    sjaplo Posts: 974 Member
    Nice is relative. Matter-of-fact is often confused with being mean. Also, disagreement is not being mean. I may not agree with your approach at all, but because I say so doesn't mean I'm being mean to you. If you're juicing, I happen to think juicing is stupid. So, I'm going to say that to you. And, I say that to people in real life too. It's not mean, it actually is stupid.

    But calling someone stupid IS mean. As someone who has tried juicing, I agree, it doesn't help you lose weight in the long run and is definitely bad for you. That doesn't mean calling people who do it stupid is called for or reasonable.

    This is where some of the misunderstandings come from - this poster did not call anyone "stupid". The poster gave his/her opinion that the act of juicing was stupid. Read the words - not what you think it means.

    Edited to say I kept reading and this was covered in depth. There should be an alert when a mean people thread starts, I always come late.
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    I really am sorry for anybody with so little real world experience they find a fitness website a hateful place.


    Rude awakenings are likely to be coming.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    I'm not saying that these were hateful necessarily just that they could of been done better.

    (not gonna search for thread it's not that important to me)
    There was a thread where a woman explained her parents took her phone away or television. While this may seem silly (it did to me) later after a bunch of prodding and poking fun of it came out that the woman had a mental issue.

    And realize she made that post MULTIPLE times at least 1-2 weeks apart..and the first time she made the post was when she first created the account.

    Why would you come on a fitness site, create an account and post that?

    Trolls. They don't just live under the bridge. There are legit ones out there.
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
    Definitely seen it. It also seems like people like to pile on here...there's a few that tend to bully and then all of the friends jump in too.

    You are over thinking it.

    People who are active in the forum tend to have friends who are active in the forums and know the other regulars.

    Threads that have frequent posts tend to stay at the top of the message boards.

    So, if you have a flame-bait thread, it'll have a lot of activity as everybody who is active in the forums has their say simply because the volume is keeping it going.

    It might appear that friends are piling on. For instance, I'm friends with neither PikaKnight nor JoRocka and yet you'll see us responding to a number of the same threads and bantering with each other - and even frequently agreeing. It might appear that we are friends who come in and support each other. But that's not what's happening. It's just an artifact of the way the forums are set up.

    Now, if you come on here and personally attack somebody, you may incite a certain amount of support from their friends. I've seen that happen occasionally.
  • Aaron_K123
    Aaron_K123 Posts: 7,122 Member
    I'm not saying that these were hateful necessarily just that they could of been done better.

    (not gonna search for thread it's not that important to me)
    There was a thread where a woman explained her parents took her phone away or television. While this may seem silly (it did to me) later after a bunch of prodding and poking fun of it came out that the woman had a mental issue. Now is any of this true? Hell I dunno but if a co-worker/stranger/etc came up to you and was shaken for whatever reason. Would you say the same thing that you did on the Internet?

    I'm not saying the original poster is right by any means, I think some people here do need to grow thicker skin. However I wouldn't want to be responsible for someone doing something drastic for a laugh. Way reaching here (big time) but if any of you know who Amanda Todd is, she cried out for help on YouTube making a video of people bullying her and the comments ripped into her big time. She later killed herself.

    Is someone going to kill themselves over a thread here? I sincerely hope not but the point is still valid. Do you feel bigger and badder because you poked fun at someone on the Internet and someone laughed?

    Yeah don't disagree with you there. The difference is of course we are adults and this is an internet website we voluntarily come to. No one is forcing us to read the forums, no one here is bound into social interaction with anyone else here.
  • yo_andi
    yo_andi Posts: 2,178 Member
    Where did I put my BINGO card for today?
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    this place is pretty bad- god- you should see my sport bike forum- those people are RUTHLESS- they tried to astrick out swear words (like they do here for say- **** the ****ing ****ers)... that did NOT end well for them. (the owners of the forum) LOL
    we now swear freely. lol

    Or check out some of the gun forums I frequent. Ok, frequent is a little much, I have to bounce when they start blathering about politics... as for the sport bikers. I have a friend who fancies herself quite the sportie. She "loves" it when I say, "Hey Squid. How are things? Squiding out much lately?"

    goat gotten. dander up. nuclear winter commenced.

    gun people are pretty much bike people- or rather I should say- bike people are pretty much gun people.

    People who like toys- like LOTS of toys.
    LOL yeah- the politics gets fun- fortunately ours we have a complete subforum that's losely modded- you're pretty much cool to say anything you want as long as it's not a personal attack- seriously- it's insane. .. but the politics gets crazy- also the whole "new rider wants a 600"- it gets a little intense depending on how childish newbey is.

    ah well.
    But as I sit here in my jacket- and armored jeans (none of my leather/textiles fit any more :( sad panda face)... I could totally see "goat gotten- nuclear winter commenced:"

    it makes me really REALLY crazy when I tell people I ride a sport bike- and they go- oh you mean a crotch rocket?
    no I mean a sport bike
    "yeah yeah same thing"

    MOTHERFUC*KING FUCLRS

    crazy town. instant crazy down.

    I also see I'm no interrupting this thread which has gotten slighltly back on track??

    WTF- what happened to ice cream and gelato???
  • Aaron_K123
    Aaron_K123 Posts: 7,122 Member
    Definitely seen it. It also seems like people like to pile on here...there's a few that tend to bully and then all of the friends jump in too.

    You are over thinking it.

    People who are active in the forum tend to have friends who are active in the forums and know the other regulars.

    Threads that have frequent posts tend to stay at the top of the message boards.

    So, if you have a flame-bait thread, it'll have a lot of activity as everybody who is active in the forums has their say simply because the volume is keeping it going.

    It might appear that friends are piling on. For instance, I'm friends with neither PikaKnight nor JoRocka and yet you'll see us responding to a number of the same threads and bantering with each other - and even frequently agreeing. It might appear that we are friends who come in and support each other. But that's not what's happening. It's just an artifact of the way the forums are set up.

    Now, if you come on here and personally attack somebody, you may incite a certain amount of support from their friends. I've seen that happen occasionally.

    Did you just call Pika stupid? Hey Pika, I think she just called you stupid.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    This is supposed to be a place of help and support, not ripping each other to shreds on who is right and wrong.

    Jealously drives people to do/say a lot of mean things. Sorry to hear you've had a bad experience :(

    Jealousy? Really?

    *jots down your name* The time shall come.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    this place is pretty bad- god- you should see my sport bike forum- those people are RUTHLESS- they tried to astrick out swear words (like they do here for say- **** the ****ing ****ers)... that did NOT end well for them. (the owners of the forum) LOL
    we now swear freely. lol

    Or check out some of the gun forums I frequent. Ok, frequent is a little much, I have to bounce when they start blathering about politics... as for the sport bikers. I have a friend who fancies herself quite the sportie. She "loves" it when I say, "Hey Squid. How are things? Squiding out much lately?"

    goat gotten. dander up. nuclear winter commenced.

    gun people are pretty much bike people- or rather I should say- bike people are pretty much gun people.

    People who like toys- like LOTS of toys.
    LOL yeah- the politics gets fun- fortunately ours we have a complete subforum that's losely modded- you're pretty much cool to say anything you want as long as it's not a personal attack- seriously- it's insane. .. but the politics gets crazy- also the whole "new rider wants a 600"- it gets a little intense depending on how childish newbey is.

    ah well.
    But as I sit here in my jacket- and armored jeans (none of my leather/textiles fit any more :( sad panda face)... I could totally see "goat gotten- nuclear winter commenced:"

    it makes me really REALLY crazy when I tell people I ride a sport bike- and they go- oh you mean a crotch rocket?
    no I mean a sport bike
    "yeah yeah same thing"

    MOTHERFUC*KING FUCLRS

    crazy town. instant crazy down.

    I also see I'm no interrupting this thread which has gotten slighltly back on track??

    WTF- what happened to ice cream and gelato???

    gaming forums and mother/baby forums...especially the mother/baby ones.
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    Definitely seen it. It also seems like people like to pile on here...there's a few that tend to bully and then all of the friends jump in too.

    You are over thinking it.

    People who are active in the forum tend to have friends who are active in the forums and know the other regulars.

    Threads that have frequent posts tend to stay at the top of the message boards.

    So, if you have a flame-bait thread, it'll have a lot of activity as everybody who is active in the forums has their say simply because the volume is keeping it going.

    It might appear that friends are piling on. For instance, I'm friends with neither PikaKnight nor JoRocka and yet you'll see us responding to a number of the same threads and bantering with each other - and even frequently agreeing. It might appear that we are friends who come in and support each other. But that's not what's happening. It's just an artifact of the way the forums are set up.

    Now, if you come on here and personally attack somebody, you may incite a certain amount of support from their friends. I've seen that happen occasionally.

    Also when a person responds to a thread it shows on their newsfeed and their friends follow them in. I rarely come to the Forums page-- I just click the links from my feed.
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
    HLSuopc.gif
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
    I've had people jump on an idea I posted in a thread and rip it apart and gif post and "jump" on me.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1297097-a-simple-thought-on-how-to-set-a-calorie-goal

    So what. They didn't like the idea I posted. I explained it, they explained themselves, I got their point and decided to rephrase, we had a good laugh at it and that was that. I really don't see that as "bullying" or "hate"

    If I had responded defensively I'm sure I would have gotten pilled on more...again though, that isn't bullying...that is people responding to your responses.

    If you are an adult and you are on an internet forum and you claim to have been bullied I have to seriously question how overly sensitive you are.

    Looks like you've got some big girl panties there.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    This is supposed to be a place of help and support, not ripping each other to shreds on who is right and wrong.

    Jealously drives people to do/say a lot of mean things. Sorry to hear you've had a bad experience :(

    Jealousy? Really?

    *jots down your name* The time shall come.

    :laugh:
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    Definitely seen it. It also seems like people like to pile on here...there's a few that tend to bully and then all of the friends jump in too.

    You are over thinking it.

    People who are active in the forum tend to have friends who are active in the forums and know the other regulars.

    Threads that have frequent posts tend to stay at the top of the message boards.

    So, if you have a flame-bait thread, it'll have a lot of activity as everybody who is active in the forums has their say simply because the volume is keeping it going.

    It might appear that friends are piling on. For instance, I'm friends with neither PikaKnight nor JoRocka and yet you'll see us responding to a number of the same threads and bantering with each other - and even frequently agreeing. It might appear that we are friends who come in and support each other. But that's not what's happening. It's just an artifact of the way the forums are set up.

    Now, if you come on here and personally attack somebody, you may incite a certain amount of support from their friends. I've seen that happen occasionally.

    Did you just call Pika stupid? Hey Pika, I think she just called you stupid.

    tumblr_lz84hs0V041qktqch.gif
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member

    gaming forums and mother/baby forums...especially the mother/baby ones.

    I have heard tell of the tales of mommy boards.

    Thank god I never have to go in there- sounds effing terrible. Hormones are a b!tch.
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
    Definitely seen it. It also seems like people like to pile on here...there's a few that tend to bully and then all of the friends jump in too.

    You are over thinking it.

    People who are active in the forum tend to have friends who are active in the forums and know the other regulars.

    Threads that have frequent posts tend to stay at the top of the message boards.

    So, if you have a flame-bait thread, it'll have a lot of activity as everybody who is active in the forums has their say simply because the volume is keeping it going.

    It might appear that friends are piling on. For instance, I'm friends with neither PikaKnight nor JoRocka and yet you'll see us responding to a number of the same threads and bantering with each other - and even frequently agreeing. It might appear that we are friends who come in and support each other. But that's not what's happening. It's just an artifact of the way the forums are set up.

    Now, if you come on here and personally attack somebody, you may incite a certain amount of support from their friends. I've seen that happen occasionally.

    Did you just call Pika stupid? Hey Pika, I think she just called you stupid.

    I'm so reporting you, bully.
  • Aaron_K123
    Aaron_K123 Posts: 7,122 Member
    I've had people jump on an idea I posted in a thread and rip it apart and gif post and "jump" on me.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1297097-a-simple-thought-on-how-to-set-a-calorie-goal

    So what. They didn't like the idea I posted. I explained it, they explained themselves, I got their point and decided to rephrase, we had a good laugh at it and that was that. I really don't see that as "bullying" or "hate"

    If I had responded defensively I'm sure I would have gotten pilled on more...again though, that isn't bullying...that is people responding to your responses.

    If you are an adult and you are on an internet forum and you claim to have been bullied I have to seriously question how overly sensitive you are.

    Looks like you've got some big girl panties there.

    A good number of people currently on my friends list got there by destroying one of my posts in an articulate manner.
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    this place is pretty bad- god- you should see my sport bike forum- those people are RUTHLESS- they tried to astrick out swear words (like they do here for say- **** the ****ing ****ers)... that did NOT end well for them. (the owners of the forum) LOL
    we now swear freely. lol

    Or check out some of the gun forums I frequent. Ok, frequent is a little much, I have to bounce when they start blathering about politics... as for the sport bikers. I have a friend who fancies herself quite the sportie. She "loves" it when I say, "Hey Squid. How are things? Squiding out much lately?"

    goat gotten. dander up. nuclear winter commenced.

    gun people are pretty much bike people- or rather I should say- bike people are pretty much gun people.

    People who like toys- like LOTS of toys.
    LOL yeah- the politics gets fun- fortunately ours we have a complete subforum that's losely modded- you're pretty much cool to say anything you want as long as it's not a personal attack- seriously- it's insane. .. but the politics gets crazy- also the whole "new rider wants a 600"- it gets a little intense depending on how childish newbey is.

    ah well.
    But as I sit here in my jacket- and armored jeans (none of my leather/textiles fit any more :( sad panda face)... I could totally see "goat gotten- nuclear winter commenced:"

    it makes me really REALLY crazy when I tell people I ride a sport bike- and they go- oh you mean a crotch rocket?
    no I mean a sport bike
    "yeah yeah same thing"

    MOTHERFUC*KING FUCLRS

    crazy town. instant crazy down.

    I also see I'm no interrupting this thread which has gotten slighltly back on track??

    WTF- what happened to ice cream and gelato???

    d4e6b765-137d-454e-a9de-e388ceb6ea42_zps12d3c4c6.jpg

    Gelato Fiasco Peanut Butter Stracciatella. :love: :love: :love:
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member

    gaming forums and mother/baby forums...especially the mother/baby ones.

    I have heard tell of the tales of mommy boards.

    Thank god I never have to go in there- sounds effing terrible. Hormones are a b!tch.

    I went there because people kept saying how bad it was and I wanted to go see.

    Never again. *shudders in horror*
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    I've had people jump on an idea I posted in a thread and rip it apart and gif post and "jump" on me.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1297097-a-simple-thought-on-how-to-set-a-calorie-goal

    So what. They didn't like the idea I posted. I explained it, they explained themselves, I got their point and decided to rephrase, we had a good laugh at it and that was that. I really don't see that as "bullying" or "hate"

    If I had responded defensively I'm sure I would have gotten pilled on more...again though, that isn't bullying...that is people responding to your responses.

    If you are an adult and you are on an internet forum and you claim to have been bullied I have to seriously question how overly sensitive you are.

    Looks like you've got some big girl panties there.

    A good number of people currently on my friends list got there by destroying one of my posts in an articulate manner.

    I'm the exception that snuck on there because I got the good gifs.
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
    Nice is relative. Matter-of-fact is often confused with being mean. Also, disagreement is not being mean. I may not agree with your approach at all, but because I say so doesn't mean I'm being mean to you. If you're juicing, I happen to think juicing is stupid. So, I'm going to say that to you. And, I say that to people in real life too. It's not mean, it actually is stupid.

    But calling someone stupid IS mean. As someone who has tried juicing, I agree, it doesn't help you lose weight in the long run and is definitely bad for you. That doesn't mean calling people who do it stupid is called for or reasonable.

    This is where some of the misunderstandings come from - this poster did not call anyone "stupid". The poster gave his/her opinion that the act of juicing was stupid. Read the words - not what you think it means.

    Edited to say I kept reading and this was covered in depth. There should be an alert when a mean people thread starts, I always come late.

    Get better friends.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    I've had people jump on an idea I posted in a thread and rip it apart and gif post and "jump" on me.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1297097-a-simple-thought-on-how-to-set-a-calorie-goal

    So what. They didn't like the idea I posted. I explained it, they explained themselves, I got their point and decided to rephrase, we had a good laugh at it and that was that. I really don't see that as "bullying" or "hate"

    If I had responded defensively I'm sure I would have gotten pilled on more...again though, that isn't bullying...that is people responding to your responses.

    If you are an adult and you are on an internet forum and you claim to have been bullied I have to seriously question how overly sensitive you are.

    Looks like you've got some big girl panties there.

    A good number of people currently on my friends list got there by destroying one of my posts in an articulate manner.

    I'm the exception that snuck on there because I got the good gifs.

    Maybe these are the reasons I rarely get FRs these days. My boycott on being helpful so long as MFP works against me has a downside!
  • Capt_Inzane
    Capt_Inzane Posts: 733 Member
    And realize she made that post MULTIPLE times at least 1-2 weeks apart..and the first time she made the post was when she first created the account.

    Why would you come on a fitness site, create an account and post that?

    Trolls. They don't just live under the bridge. There are legit ones out there.

    Hell I dunno why someone would post it but that doesn't mean you have to go read it? People go in and read those types of threads with the intentions of stirring the pot. One person starts and then everyone jumps in. It's the riot mentality. Did I think "wow wtf, this is a troll" probably in fact yea I think I did. Did I respond? I don't think so, hell I can't remember (hope I didn't say something bad lol).

    I'm just saying that Internet bullying is a real thing and it shouldn't be here (a site meant to help people). Don't try to justify it by saying "Well X forums are WAY worse" who cares. That's like saying "well I only shot 3 people I'm not as bad as those other kids who killed 10". Be accountable for your own actions.
  • Capt_Inzane
    Capt_Inzane Posts: 733 Member
    The worst part about writing all this is that I don't disagree with the majority of you. I just feel bad for those few people that actually had to leave or whatever.

    I think I need a snickers... I normally would align myself more with Joker than Batman
  • mattwb72
    mattwb72 Posts: 4
    Welcome to the internet, where people are *kitten* and their opinions don't matter.
  • Noogynoogs
    Noogynoogs Posts: 1,028 Member
    If you don't let comments affect you -, your invincible. Make your own mind up
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member

    d4e6b765-137d-454e-a9de-e388ceb6ea42_zps12d3c4c6.jpg

    Gelato Fiasco Peanut Butter Stracciatella. :love: :love: :love:

    <le sigh>

    I love stracciatella ANYTHING. Seriously- ANYTHING. Plus I love the name- so sexy.
    I went there because people kept saying how bad it was and I wanted to go see.

    Never again. *shudders in horror*
    I was on the Knot for a while- I think they have "the nest" as another forum- and I am glad I never went in there- maybe when i'm bored i'll pop in- although pregnant people weird me out. Little parasites growing in them- it's like watching Fringe- but in real life.

    Speaking of weirded out- anyone see the "my wife didn't want to do maternity pictures so I did them for her" photo shoot?

    HYSTERICAL.
  • Aaron_K123
    Aaron_K123 Posts: 7,122 Member
    Okay actually now that I think of it one person on my friends list got there by me sending them an invite after a rather long exchange in which they called me a hypocrite.

    I don't know does that qualify as name calling?

    Here is the thing. If someone thinks I am being a hypocrite and I am having an active discussion with that person then I feel it is in my best interest to know that and it is most easily conveyed by them calling me a hypocrite. To me this is just being honest in a discussion, I am not sure why I am supposed to feel bad about that.

    Presumably said person called me a hypocrite because they found one or two actions or statements I made to be hypocritical not because they thing I was born as and will irrevocalby always be a hypocrite and that is somehow a trait of mine. It isn't personal.

    And if they found something I said or something I did to be hypocritical guess what...I can disagree with them and explain why I felt my action or statement was actually in line with my stated beliefs. Then they can explain themselves. That is having a discussion.

    The only way it is bullying is if you cannot extract yourself from the situation and one person is overpowering to the other. This typically only happens as a child. No one here is going to "overpower" me over the internet and if I don't like a situation I can close the web browser.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    And realize she made that post MULTIPLE times at least 1-2 weeks apart..and the first time she made the post was when she first created the account.

    Why would you come on a fitness site, create an account and post that?

    Trolls. They don't just live under the bridge. There are legit ones out there.

    Hell I dunno why someone would post it but that doesn't mean you have to go read it? People go in and read those types of threads with the intentions of stirring the pot. One person starts and then everyone jumps in. It's the riot mentality. Did I think "wow wtf, this is a troll" probably in fact yea I think I did. Did I respond? I don't think so, hell I can't remember (hope I didn't say something bad lol).

    I'm just saying that Internet bullying is a real thing and it shouldn't be here (a site meant to help people). Don't try to justify it by saying "Well X forums are WAY worse" who cares. That's like saying "well I only shot 3 people I'm not as bad as those other kids who killed 10". Be accountable for your own actions.

    The person can remove themselves from a bullying situation online.
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