Why are people so hateful??

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Replies

  • melinda200208
    melinda200208 Posts: 525 Member
    I think some people have nothing better to do and enjoy putting people down and trying to make them feel bad or try to cause conflict. Their lives must really be boring. Or they are just downright mean people :(
  • sjaplo
    sjaplo Posts: 974 Member
    Nice is relative. Matter-of-fact is often confused with being mean. Also, disagreement is not being mean. I may not agree with your approach at all, but because I say so doesn't mean I'm being mean to you. If you're juicing, I happen to think juicing is stupid. So, I'm going to say that to you. And, I say that to people in real life too. It's not mean, it actually is stupid.

    But calling someone stupid IS mean. As someone who has tried juicing, I agree, it doesn't help you lose weight in the long run and is definitely bad for you. That doesn't mean calling people who do it stupid is called for or reasonable.

    This is where some of the misunderstandings come from - this poster did not call anyone "stupid". The poster gave his/her opinion that the act of juicing was stupid. Read the words - not what you think it means.

    Edited to say I kept reading and this was covered in depth. There should be an alert when a mean people thread starts, I always come late.

    Get better friends.

    Fair response as I have zero - maybe I'll start an "I'm so lonely thread"?
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    I think some people have nothing better to do and enjoy putting people down and trying to make them feel bad or try to cause conflict. Their lives must really be boring. Or they are just downright mean people :(

    *raises hand*
  • Noogynoogs
    Noogynoogs Posts: 1,028 Member
    Don't forget people are calorie counting and moody is the side effect lol
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,950 Member
    gaming forums and mother/baby forums...especially the mother/baby ones.

    One drunken bet had me making a baby/mother forum account and asking what the proper dose was to help quiet down my teething infant. (I have no child.)

    HOLY COW. I had my life threatened, people threatened to call CPS, and within 27 minutes I was banned. I only made ONE post.

    Was truly epic.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    And realize she made that post MULTIPLE times at least 1-2 weeks apart..and the first time she made the post was when she first created the account.

    Why would you come on a fitness site, create an account and post that?

    Trolls. They don't just live under the bridge. There are legit ones out there.

    Hell I dunno why someone would post it but that doesn't mean you have to go read it? People go in and read those types of threads with the intentions of stirring the pot. One person starts and then everyone jumps in. It's the riot mentality. Did I think "wow wtf, this is a troll" probably in fact yea I think I did. Did I respond? I don't think so, hell I can't remember (hope I didn't say something bad lol).

    I'm just saying that Internet bullying is a real thing and it shouldn't be here (a site meant to help people). Don't try to justify it by saying "Well X forums are WAY worse" who cares. That's like saying "well I only shot 3 people I'm not as bad as those other kids who killed 10". Be accountable for your own actions.

    So they absolutely cannot just leave the thread, right? We are literally backing them into a corner and there is no possible way for them to avoid dealing with us at all..like the ignore option that's available on the website.

    Again, bullying. It's a word that's been overused and demeans those that have actually been bullied. And keep in mind internet bullying is usually tied in with real life situations. You don't know anyone on here, so again..how is it bullying when you have the option to not return to a thread, ignore users and even report them?
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
    And realize she made that post MULTIPLE times at least 1-2 weeks apart..and the first time she made the post was when she first created the account.

    Why would you come on a fitness site, create an account and post that?

    Trolls. They don't just live under the bridge. There are legit ones out there.

    Hell I dunno why someone would post it but that doesn't mean you have to go read it? People go in and read those types of threads with the intentions of stirring the pot. One person starts and then everyone jumps in. It's the riot mentality. Did I think "wow wtf, this is a troll" probably in fact yea I think I did. Did I respond? I don't think so, hell I can't remember (hope I didn't say something bad lol).

    I'm just saying that Internet bullying is a real thing and it shouldn't be here (a site meant to help people). Don't try to justify it by saying "Well X forums are WAY worse" who cares. That's like saying "well I only shot 3 people I'm not as bad as those other kids who killed 10". Be accountable for your own actions.

    It's not bullying if it's a situation where an adult can walk away without real life consequences. Hell, there are people on here who have nearly made a profession of deactivating and reinventing themselves with new user names when they feel too much heat. Eventually they get it right.

    I feel for the kids who are in a situation where their entire social circle is making life intolerable and they don't have the adult perspective to allow an escape. MFP isn't a place where that's a possibility.

    That being said, yeah, I saw the purse thread and I didn't comment on it because WTF, this again? You know. I own my behavior too.
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
    gaming forums and mother/baby forums...especially the mother/baby ones.

    One drunken bet had me making a baby/mother forum account and asking what the proper dose was to help quiet down my teething infant. (I have no child.)

    HOLY COW. I had my life threatened, people threatened to call CPS, and within 27 minutes I was banned. I only made ONE post.

    Was truly epic.

    Dose of what?
  • AglaeaC
    AglaeaC Posts: 1,974 Member

    d4e6b765-137d-454e-a9de-e388ceb6ea42_zps12d3c4c6.jpg

    Gelato Fiasco Peanut Butter Stracciatella. :love: :love: :love:

    <le sigh>

    I love stracciatella ANYTHING. Seriously- ANYTHING. Plus I love the name- so sexy.
    I went there because people kept saying how bad it was and I wanted to go see.

    Never again. *shudders in horror*
    I was on the Knot for a while- I think they have "the nest" as another forum- and I am glad I never went in there- maybe when i'm bored i'll pop in- although pregnant people weird me out. Little parasites growing in them- it's like watching Fringe- but in real life.

    Speaking of weirded out- anyone see the "my wife didn't want to do maternity pictures so I did them for her" photo shoot?

    HYSTERICAL.
    Another straciatella lover here. And I've been on The Knot, too, or should I say Land of Bridezilla. The Nest I only ever peeked in on and decided it was quite ugh.
  • Donald_Dozier_50
    Donald_Dozier_50 Posts: 395 Member
    Anyone else come in line with some down right hostile threads going on here.....This is supposed to be a place of help and support, not ripping each other to shreds on who is right and wrong. Just because it worked for you doesn't mean it will for someone else and vice versa. Am I alone on this? :grumble:

    COWARDS who are afraid to stand up to people face to face where they could easily get their A** kicked are capable of coming online and saying what they please as they hide behind the computer screen in their mommy's basement where they live.

    Almost didn't recognize you because you took your face pictures off. Is the only thing you post about how people are cowards behind the computer screen? It's like your thing, isn't it?

    You obviously don't recognize me and assume me to be someone else. I am one who is fully prepared to confront anyone IN PERSON. I have never had any face picture here. You are obviously clueless and the exact person my post was about.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    I think some people have nothing better to do and enjoy putting people down and trying to make them feel bad or try to cause conflict. Their lives must really be boring. Or they are just downright mean people :(

    And what you just said wasn't mean, passive aggressive or insulting at all..or something that will cause conflict?
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
    Okay actually now that I think of it one person on my friends list got there by me sending them an invite after a rather long exchange in which they called me a hypocrite.

    I don't know does that qualify as name calling?

    Here is the thing. If someone thinks I am being a hypocrite and I am having an active discussion with that person then I feel it is in my best interest to know that and it is most easily conveyed by them calling me a hypocrite. To me this is just being honest in a discussion, I am not sure why I am supposed to feel bad about that.

    Presumably said person called me a hypocrite because they found one or two actions or statements I made to be hypocritical not because they thing I was born as and will irrevocalby always be a hypocrite and that is somehow a trait of mine. It isn't personal.

    And if they found something I said or something I did to be hypocritical guess what...I can disagree with them and explain why I felt my action or statement was actually in line with my stated beliefs. Then they can explain themselves. That is having a discussion.

    The only way it is bullying is if you cannot extract yourself from the situation and one person is overpowering to the other. This typically only happens as a child. No one here is going to "overpower" me over the internet and if I don't like a situation I can close the web browser.

    Ooh. I've been friended by at LEAST 2 people who started off calling me mean people.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    I think some people have nothing better to do and enjoy putting people down and trying to make them feel bad or try to cause conflict. Their lives must really be boring. Or they are just downright mean people :(

    *raises hand*

    I just saw a meme on facebook (I think it's that picture of will ferrel in the glasses - looks like from Step brothers)

    If you don't have anything nice to say,
    come sit by me- and we can make fun of people together.

    LULZ
  • RGv2
    RGv2 Posts: 5,789 Member
    And realize she made that post MULTIPLE times at least 1-2 weeks apart..and the first time she made the post was when she first created the account.

    Why would you come on a fitness site, create an account and post that?

    Trolls. They don't just live under the bridge. There are legit ones out there.

    Don't try to justify it by saying "Well X forums are WAY worse" who cares. That's like saying "well I only shot 3 people I'm not as bad as those other kids who killed 10". Be accountable for your own actions.

    :huh:

    Did you just compare one of the tamest forums on the internet to murder?
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    I think some people have nothing better to do and enjoy putting people down and trying to make them feel bad or try to cause conflict. Their lives must really be boring. Or they are just downright mean people :(

    *raises hand*

    I just saw a meme on facebook (I think it's that picture of will ferrel in the glasses - looks like from Step brothers)

    If you don't have anything nice to say,
    come sit by me- and we can make fun of people together.

    LULZ

    Bwahahahaha!

    *fist bump*
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    Anyone else come in line with some down right hostile threads going on here.....This is supposed to be a place of help and support, not ripping each other to shreds on who is right and wrong. Just because it worked for you doesn't mean it will for someone else and vice versa. Am I alone on this? :grumble:

    COWARDS who are afraid to stand up to people face to face where they could easily get their A** kicked are capable of coming online and saying what they please as they hide behind the computer screen in their mommy's basement where they live.

    Almost didn't recognize you because you took your face pictures off. Is the only thing you post about how people are cowards behind the computer screen? It's like your thing, isn't it?

    You obviously don't recognize me and assume me to be someone else. I am one who is fully prepared to confront anyone IN PERSON. I have never had any face picture here. You are obviously clueless and the exact person my post was about.

    jennifer-lawrence.gif
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member

    d4e6b765-137d-454e-a9de-e388ceb6ea42_zps12d3c4c6.jpg

    Gelato Fiasco Peanut Butter Stracciatella. :love: :love: :love:

    <le sigh>

    I love stracciatella ANYTHING. Seriously- ANYTHING. Plus I love the name- so sexy.
    I went there because people kept saying how bad it was and I wanted to go see.

    Never again. *shudders in horror*
    I was on the Knot for a while- I think they have "the nest" as another forum- and I am glad I never went in there- maybe when i'm bored i'll pop in- although pregnant people weird me out. Little parasites growing in them- it's like watching Fringe- but in real life.

    Speaking of weirded out- anyone see the "my wife didn't want to do maternity pictures so I did them for her" photo shoot?

    HYSTERICAL.
    Another straciatella lover here. And I've been on The Knot, too, or should I say Land of Bridezilla. The Nest I only ever peeked in on and decided it was quite ugh.

    I was on it about a year ago- I was half *kitten* kind of mentally preparing for a wedding- I'm not big on that sort of thing- we still aren't there yet- but yeah- they are some crazy broads- land of bridezilla is damn close.

    I like looking at the pictures sometimes- been a hot minute. Shrug- we need a ring first- I started a pinterest board for him essentially- and said I'm posting pictures of rings I like- if you want to look- good job- if you don't? and I say no- you have no one to blame by yourself!!!!

    (he has my name and pass word- he HAS looked LMFAO)
  • stephe1987
    stephe1987 Posts: 406 Member
    I don't think it's hate, but disagreement. Everyone on here has different life experiences and different sets of knowledge that they bring in. What works for some people might not work for others.

    I think I disagree with a lot of people on here because I don't have as much weight to lose anymore, so every calorie counts. When I first started out, I didn't log. I just cut out soda and ate smaller portions. No more second helpings, no fries with meals, two tacos instead of three, etc. I don't know how much I ate because I didn't log. I probably went over my goal but it didn't matter because I was overweight and therefore I still had a deficit. Some people on here are about eating back all of their exercise calories, but I know that MFP underestimates calories eaten and overestimates the burn. If you are at a heavier weight, then you have some wiggle room and can eat back the exercise calories (how much it says you burned, which is usually more than you actually burned) and still lose weight. But once you get toward the end, every calorie counts and you can stall your loss or even gain some weight back by eating all your exercise calories (especially since you probably ate more than you're thinking and didn't burn as much as you thought).

    Another thing I've had disagreements about is people eating fast food several times a week or as much as they want as long as they stay under their calorie goal. But I've seen first hand that skinny people can also have heart problems or get type 2 diabetes, so I discourage people from doing that even though they can do that and still lose weight. Some people go to the other extreme and cut out entire food groups, such as carbs. I encourage an 80/20 diet so people can still eat what they enjoy, just less of it. Something that is healthy enough and yet sustainable even after the goal is reached. Because I don't think fast food is going to lead to a long and healthy life, and I don't think someone is going to go the rest of their life without carbs, either.

    So it's not "hate" it's just disagreement and the fact that we're all at different points on our weight loss journey. We all have to be ready to make the changes and not everyone is ready. Some people like to change one thing at a time and others are better going "cold turkey" and switching completely overnight. Some people are fine with a slow and steady weight loss, while others want to lose weight as quickly as possible (although VLCD is against the rules, so as quickly as possible without dipping below 1200 calories per day).
  • AglaeaC
    AglaeaC Posts: 1,974 Member

    d4e6b765-137d-454e-a9de-e388ceb6ea42_zps12d3c4c6.jpg

    Gelato Fiasco Peanut Butter Stracciatella. :love: :love: :love:

    <le sigh>

    I love stracciatella ANYTHING. Seriously- ANYTHING. Plus I love the name- so sexy.
    I went there because people kept saying how bad it was and I wanted to go see.

    Never again. *shudders in horror*
    I was on the Knot for a while- I think they have "the nest" as another forum- and I am glad I never went in there- maybe when i'm bored i'll pop in- although pregnant people weird me out. Little parasites growing in them- it's like watching Fringe- but in real life.

    Speaking of weirded out- anyone see the "my wife didn't want to do maternity pictures so I did them for her" photo shoot?

    HYSTERICAL.
    Another straciatella lover here. And I've been on The Knot, too, or should I say Land of Bridezilla. The Nest I only ever peeked in on and decided it was quite ugh.

    I was on it about a year ago- I was half *kitten* kind of mentally preparing for a wedding- I'm not big on that sort of thing- we still aren't there yet- but yeah- they are some crazy broads- land of bridezilla is damn close.

    I like looking at the pictures sometimes- been a hot minute. Shrug- we need a ring first- I started a pinterest board for him essentially- and said I'm posting pictures of rings I like- if you want to look- good job- if you don't? and I say no- you have no one to blame by yourself!!!!

    (he has my name and pass word- he HAS looked LMFAO)
    The Knot photos are on Pinterest now, too, so no need to log in anymore to see them.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    Yeah pinterest is pretty awesome.

    I get lost in there looking for inspiration or sewing tutorials. It's like the internet- but worse!!! and better- because you can keep track- great for artsies peoples!!!

    and apparently now rings. (fml)
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
    And realize she made that post MULTIPLE times at least 1-2 weeks apart..and the first time she made the post was when she first created the account.

    Why would you come on a fitness site, create an account and post that?

    Trolls. They don't just live under the bridge. There are legit ones out there.

    Don't try to justify it by saying "Well X forums are WAY worse" who cares. That's like saying "well I only shot 3 people I'm not as bad as those other kids who killed 10". Be accountable for your own actions.

    :huh:

    Did you just compare one of the tamest forums on the internet to murder?

    He's saying that it's fallacious for us to say that wrong actions are ok, because there are worse actions available.
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  • pobalita
    pobalita Posts: 741 Member

    seriously? Wow, there was noting mean in there at all. OP, you'd better toughen up if you plan to stay on the forums.
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,950 Member
    gaming forums and mother/baby forums...especially the mother/baby ones.

    One drunken bet had me making a baby/mother forum account and asking what the proper dose was to help quiet down my teething infant. (I have no child.)

    HOLY COW. I had my life threatened, people threatened to call CPS, and within 27 minutes I was banned. I only made ONE post.

    Was truly epic.

    Dose of what?

    I forgot to write benadryl.

    Proper dose of benadryl.
  • FatFreeFrolicking
    FatFreeFrolicking Posts: 4,252 Member
    Most of the people who are hateful in the forum don't have the balls to be hateful and arrogant in real life so they sit behind a computer screen and act that way instead.

    They are also probably bullied themselves IRL.
  • _Terrapin_
    _Terrapin_ Posts: 4,301 Member
    There was a BMR thread with mis information. . . .shocking, just. . . .shocking.
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
    Nice is relative. Matter-of-fact is often confused with being mean. Also, disagreement is not being mean. I may not agree with your approach at all, but because I say so doesn't mean I'm being mean to you. If you're juicing, I happen to think juicing is stupid. So, I'm going to say that to you. And, I say that to people in real life too. It's not mean, it actually is stupid.

    But calling someone stupid IS mean. As someone who has tried juicing, I agree, it doesn't help you lose weight in the long run and is definitely bad for you. That doesn't mean calling people who do it stupid is called for or reasonable.

    This is where some of the misunderstandings come from - this poster did not call anyone "stupid". The poster gave his/her opinion that the act of juicing was stupid. Read the words - not what you think it means.

    Edited to say I kept reading and this was covered in depth. There should be an alert when a mean people thread starts, I always come late.

    Get better friends.

    Fair response as I have zero - maybe I'll start an "I'm so lonely thread"?

    My suggestion would be to go to page 11 of a random thread and send friend requests to people who make you laugh.
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,950 Member
    You obviously don't recognize me and assume me to be someone else. I am one who is fully prepared to confront anyone IN PERSON. I have never had any face picture here. You are obviously clueless and the exact person my post was about.

    lulz, i think someone from my gunboards found mfp.
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
    gaming forums and mother/baby forums...especially the mother/baby ones.

    One drunken bet had me making a baby/mother forum account and asking what the proper dose was to help quiet down my teething infant. (I have no child.)

    HOLY COW. I had my life threatened, people threatened to call CPS, and within 27 minutes I was banned. I only made ONE post.

    Was truly epic.

    Dose of what?

    I forgot to write benadryl.

    Proper dose of benadryl.

    At least you didn't suggest feeding your baby formula.
  • Capt_Inzane
    Capt_Inzane Posts: 733 Member
    The person can remove themselves from a bullying situation online.

    Just debating at this point but can't the bully stop as well?
This discussion has been closed.