Judging people and their weight

fattymcrunnerpants

Have you had metabolic testing done? Oxygen consumption test? Hydrostatic testing?

My best guess is that your basal metabolic rate is extremely compromised from your thyroid issues and everything else you are dealing with.

It doesn't matter that you SHOULD lose weight eating 2000 calories. You aren't the average Joe. If you ate 1200 calories a day, I guarantee you you would lose weight. If you don't lose weight eating 1200, then your BMR is even lower than I think it is. Meaning you would have to eat below 1200 (under doctor supervision, of course).

I haven't as there isn't anywhere around here that does that. I live in a very isolated area. I've been on a wait list to see a nutritionist since October of 2013.


I am seeing a physical therapist we do water stuff and massage once a week.

fattymcrunnerpants

That's ridiculous!! I have BIG time issues with scar tissue build up from surgeries I've had in the past and it has never given me issues at all!! I think you are just making excuses after another!! That's my 2 cents.

Adhesions don't always aggrivate the person depending on where they are and how they're adhered. Not a one size fits all thing.

I agree. But being obese can definitely add to the pain you are experiencing.

Ask yourself this… Do you want to be obese for the rest of your life (and probably not live past 40 or 50) or do you want to suffer through some pain in order to lose the weight?

Oh definitly aggrivating it. No question. Which is why I've been pushing through it in the past few weeks to keep going. I have an appointment with my pain management doctor to adjust my meds to the activity. See if there's something else we can do until the next surgery for scar revision.

afk1

I too am doing it for me and agree with you about the MD's.....well said. I know my biggest struggle is stress and emotional eating....creeps up and sometimes gets the better of me.........I too can use the support rather than words from people who don't understand the daily fight :flowerforyou:

FatFreeFrolicking

That's ridiculous!! I have BIG time issues with scar tissue build up from surgeries I've had in the past and it has never given me issues at all!! I think you are just making excuses after another!! That's my 2 cents.

Adhesions don't always aggrivate the person depending on where they are and how they're adhered. Not a one size fits all thing.

I agree. But being obese can definitely add to the pain you are experiencing.

Ask yourself this… Do you want to be obese for the rest of your life (and probably not live past 40 or 50) or do you want to suffer through some pain in order to lose the weight?

Oh definitly aggrivating it. No question. Which is why I've been pushing through it in the past few weeks to keep going. I have an appointment with my pain management doctor to adjust my meds to the activity. See if there's something else we can do until the next surgery for scar revision.

Do you take a lot of meds? Some meds can make it more difficult to lose weight. Especially when you take a bunch of pills.

Also, starting tomorrow, try lowering your caloric intake to 1300 daily. 1700 and 2000 calories is clearly too much for you.

Erilynn93

A lot of people don't want to be poor either, but don't lift a finger to educate themselves and invest their money wisely. If you want something badly enough then you work for it. Period.

ergh, if someone is homeless on the street and in poverty, education and wise investments don't help much. and of course, education costs a lot in some countries, so those in poverty cannot always afford education.

I've seen this go both ways and I really think it does depend on where you live as well. Around where I live, there is this 'homeless' guy that sits on the corner by my grocery store with a sign that explains that he's jobless, starving and has a family at home, yet he is at that corner almost 24/7. This is right by a McDonald's that is literally hiring ALL THE TIME. I was a manager at that McDonald's in the past and I KNOW that they hire people no matter what. Even if they have a record of some sort. So some times it is just laziness or not wanting to sink to a certain level, but personally I think begging is worse than working in fast food. However, there are cases where there's not much that the person can really do to escape poverty or even they might not know how. Who really knows unless you're actually in their shoes?

fattymcrunnerpants

Do you take a lot of meds? Some meds can make it more difficult to lose weight. Especially when you take a bunch of pills.

Also, starting tomorrow, try lowering your caloric intake to 1300 daily. 1700 and 2000 calories is clearly too much for you.

I take gabapentin, norco, and levothyroxine. I don't think they have those effects, though. Yeah 1700 may be too much. I've been thinking about dropping since this is the second week with no weight loss.

ninerbuff

If people are where they are now (whether weight wise or financial), the likelihood is it's because of their own choices in the past. I don't always buy the stress and emotional eating reasoning because lean and thin people also deal with stress and emotional issues on daily basis, but don't resort to eating to resolve it.
Habitual eating is IMO the reason why many people have weight issues today.
Food being pretty palatable today, but packing a lot of calories, is another reason since only a small percentage of people consciously count how many calories they need to consume in a day.
I think the point that the "doctor" is making is that when it comes to food/calorie consumption, people HAVE a choice. People aren't being forced to consume food (lol, unless you're a kid at the dinner table) or having their choice of food chosen.
As mentioned earlier, no one wants to be fat, poor, unloved, etc., but it takes personal action to ensure that those things don't happen to you. If one accepts the above, it's because they choose to accept it.

A.C.E. Certified Group Fitness and Personal Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

__freckles__

Just watched a show on TV where this "Doctor" is saying that people are fat because they want to be. That is such BS. I don't know one person, including myself, who wakes up every morning and says...."Hey, I want to stuff my face and be fat, so that people can stare at me, and judge me". Some of these doctors are complete idiots. Being fat is NOT the problem with most people. It's just a symptom of the problem. Many people eat excessively because of emotional issues, depression, loneliness, to find comfort etc. It makes me angry that people are so quick to judge others without knowing their story or walking even a block in their shoes. Hate it!

Curious, what TV show was it?

Still waiting for this. I'm thinking the doctor didn't actually say this exactly the way the OP is painting it.

Raynne413

He's a terror. Typical chihuahua personality. Everyone that sees him always says "What a cute dog" then he growls at them and they're like "Man, he's a mean little guy". Either way, that's my best friend and I wouldn't change him for any other dog. He called eternal shotgun in the car.

Totally off topic, but I seriously want a long haired chihuahua. . . teacup if I can find one. :bigsmile:

bennettinfinity

I too am doing it for me and agree with you about the MD's.....well said. I know my biggest struggle is stress and emotional eating....creeps up and sometimes gets the better of me.........I too can use the support rather than words from people who don't understand the daily fight :flowerforyou:

I think the most of the 'words' you reference are coming from people who not only understand the daily fight, but have overcome it. I think that's the source of some of the exasperation on this thread - those of us who have overcome the obstacles that have been put into our path are trying to show the way to those who (for whatever reason) say 'I can't'.

Do some people have more obstacles than others to contend with? Yes. Is it fair? No. But that's the reality of the situation. The question is: what are you going to *do* about it?

Edited for grammar...

SezxyStef

He's a terror. Typical chihuahua personality. Everyone that sees him always says "What a cute dog" then he growls at them and they're like "Man, he's a mean little guy". Either way, that's my best friend and I wouldn't change him for any other dog. He called eternal shotgun in the car.

Totally off topic, but I seriously want a long haired chihuahua. . . teacup if I can find one. :bigsmile:

I would give you my mother in laws but she'd kill me..she loves her Charlie dog...and that little female is a terror too...the teacup one..

SezxyStef

I too am doing it for me and agree with you about the MD's.....well said. I know my biggest struggle is stress and emotional eating....creeps up and sometimes gets the better of me.........I too can use the support rather than words from people who don't understand the daily fight :flowerforyou:

I think the most of the 'words' you reference are coming from people who not only understand the daily fight, but have overcome it. I think that's the source of some of the exasperation on this thread - those of us who have overcome the obstacles that have been put into our path are trying to show the way to those who (for whatever reason) say 'I can't'.

Do some people have more obstacles than others to contend with? Yes. Is it fair? No. But that's the reality of the situation. The question is: what are you going to *do* about it?

Edited for grammar...

exactly this.

try this for a daily fight...being a single mom, no child support, working a full time job, having family issues (mom and dad divorcing) actually having a not so funny stalker...who still is in the business of trying to make my life hell...

Everyone has their issues....everyone has their own "daily fight".....just because some (lots) have been successful on this site and offer advice doesn't mean we didn't have our own struggles.

and yes I consider myself a success...why because I learned from the previous people who are success and have passed it along to random people who have asked for my help.

smantha32

A lot of people don't want to be poor either, but don't lift a finger to educate themselves and invest their money wisely. If you want something badly enough then you work for it. Period.

ergh, if someone is homeless on the street and in poverty, education and wise investments don't help much. and of course, education costs a lot in some countries, so those in poverty cannot always afford education.

i don't know of one US city that doesn't have free career training. You can get free training in a lot of different career choices. However many people prefer to go sit on their *kitten* with a beer and watch TV instead of taking advantage of these.

meshashesha2012

Unfortunately what the doctor is saying is true. Being overweight or obese is self inflicted. No one is forcing someone to eat more than they should. Food to some is just as addicting as tobacco is to smokers. How many people truly feel sorry for someone who gets lung cancer after smoking for decades? Not many. How many people truly feel sorry for someone who is considered obese that dies, or contracts a related disease associated with their weight. Again not many.

Medication that causes weight gain is not self-inflicted.

But the person is still making a choice to take the medication, because the benefits of taking it outweigh the consequences. It may not be a good choice, or a fair choice. It may be the case that no sane person would choose not to take the medication, regardless of how much weight gain it causes, but it's still a choice.

And even then, it's not the medication that makes people gain weight is it? Isn't it that the medication causes them to be more hungry so they over eat and gain weight?

Wrong. It is usually entirely the medication that causes weight gain. Some medications are known to increase appetite which leads people to eat more, however, that's not the case for everyone.

And, the best reading comp fail of the day goes to . . .

exactly. there was a time in my life when i had to take steroids for asthma. steroids increase appetite. after a month i gained weight. i asked my doctor about it and she suggested that i take the steroids with a glass of milk instead of eating an entire meal. i ended up losing the weight i gained.

anyway, i think this thread is ruffling a few feathers because people put so much value judgments on being overweight and obese. the idea that someone CHOSE (whether by direct action or inaction) to be that way is a tough pill to swallow, but that doesnt make it any less true.

much of these things have a behavioral component and some people tend to want to confuse the biology or medical with the behavior. just because taking a medications makes you hungrier doesnt mean you have to eat, it doesn't mean that you NEED those extra calories because you are hungrier, it doesnt mean that you can't look for other alternatives.

whyyesitsneke

A lot of people don't want to be poor either, but don't lift a finger to educate themselves and invest their money wisely. If you want something badly enough then you work for it. Period.

ergh, if someone is homeless on the street and in poverty, education and wise investments don't help much. and of course, education costs a lot in some countries, so those in poverty cannot always afford education.

i don't know of one US city that doesn't have free career training. You can get free training in a lot of different career choices. However many people prefer to go sit on their *kitten* with a beer and watch TV instead of taking advantage of these.

Unfortunately you can still work your butt off and be poor. Depending on where you live and what you do for work.

FatFreeFrolicking

Unfortunately what the doctor is saying is true. Being overweight or obese is self inflicted. No one is forcing someone to eat more than they should. Food to some is just as addicting as tobacco is to smokers. How many people truly feel sorry for someone who gets lung cancer after smoking for decades? Not many. How many people truly feel sorry for someone who is considered obese that dies, or contracts a related disease associated with their weight. Again not many.

Medication that causes weight gain is not self-inflicted.

But the person is still making a choice to take the medication, because the benefits of taking it outweigh the consequences. It may not be a good choice, or a fair choice. It may be the case that no sane person would choose not to take the medication, regardless of how much weight gain it causes, but it's still a choice.

And even then, it's not the medication that makes people gain weight is it? Isn't it that the medication causes them to be more hungry so they over eat and gain weight?

Wrong. It is usually entirely the medication that causes weight gain. Some medications are known to increase appetite which leads people to eat more, however, that's not the case for everyone.

And, the best reading comp fail of the day goes to . . .

exactly. there was a time in my life when i had to take steroids for asthma. steroids increase appetite. after a month i gained weight. i asked my doctor about it and she suggested that i take the steroids with a glass of milk instead of eating an entire meal. i ended up losing the weight i gained.

anyway, i think this thread is ruffling a few feathers because people put so much value judgments on being overweight and obese. the idea that someone CHOSE (whether by direct action or inaction) to be that way is a tough pill to swallow, but that doesnt make it any less true.

much of these things have a behavioral component and some people tend to want to confuse the biology or medical with the behavior. just because taking a medications makes you hungrier doesnt mean you have to eat, it doesn't mean that you NEED those extra calories because you are hungrier, it doesnt mean that you can't look for other alternatives.

Yeah, steroids increase appetite. But some medications that are directly linked to large amounts of weight gain, diabetes, and insulin resistance, don't increase appetite. Others do. It all depends on the medication. AND the amount of time a person takes the medication.

Despite people counting calories, weighing food, exercising, etc., they still put on weight because of the drug(s) they are taking.

whyyesitsneke

On the subject of wanting to be fat.

It's a matter of poor wording choice, in this instance, as many have said. Do I look in a mirror and think "Gee, I love my belly, I'll go eat a tub of ice cream." No, I do not. But at the same time I know that I struggle with my weight, and that I need to avoid to eat certain foods, and I need to be more active.

In the end, sometimes I do not want to exercise, so I choose not to. In doing so, I'm choosing a less healthy lifestyle, ergo, I want to be fat.

Emotional and medical issues aside, judging an overweight person as if each one is a lazy slob is wrong, and we each know that.

whyyesitsneke

Despite people counting calories, weighing food, exercising, etc., they still put on weight because of the drug(s) they are taking.

This is 100% correct!

I was on something in my teens when I was exercising a lot (soccer, swimming, skating, riding horses, running) and I was eating a strict diet, yet I gained due to medication messing with my bodies ability to burn fat.

But at the same time, many medications do simply increase appetite, and not actually cause the gain.

lemurcat12

Taking this out of order:

I don't believe in judging people because of their size. Unless you know them on a personal level, you don't know the circumstances of why they are overweight and why they may or may not be doing anything. The first person I mentioned about saying she wished she could do what I am doing, I don't know that well, so I can't judge her very well based on her weight or whether she says she can do something or not.

Oh, I absolutely don't believe in judging people because of their size, although I also knew, when I was truly heavy, that I was judged by some, and that was one thing that I had to factor into how comfortable I was being that size. I didn't see the point of railing about it, because it just was.

It seems like a lot of this conversation is about is it a person's "fault" for being fat, as if that determined whether they should be judged harshly or not. My view is that "fault" isn't really the issue--but yes, in the vast majority of cases people's own decisions resulted in them gaining or not losing weight and they do have control over it--but that that doesn't mean that I therefore should judge myself harshly for getting fat or people heavier than me or whatever. I don't see why it's my business or even a bad thing if an individual doesn't mind being fat or prioritizes other things. I wonder if that would address some of the defensiveness here, which seems related to the idea that it's a BAD thing to be fat unless you can claim that you really, truly had no control over it.

While there are SOME people out there who just don't care, I"m not sure it's fair to say all people who are overweight are that way because they want to be. I know someone who is and they told me they wish they could do what I was doing. (my running) I told her she could if she tried, but she said she couldn't. (Conversation never got past that point as we were interrupted with work.)

I had lots of reasons why I couldn't work out or didn't eat less too, and they were pretty much not true (and I even knew that). I didn't express these reasons to others, at least, but I did tell them to myself from time to time.

But the bigger point (again, not talking about people with medical issues, which is not the average person who needs to lose weight) is that there are barriers. One of the most significant, IMO, is that a lot of overweight people don't think they have any control or could do anything, they don't understand how or believe it would work. As a result, I think playing into the idea that they don't have control isn't especially helpful, although I also think that "just do it, lazy!" probably works with only a small percentage. Providing a strategy that is workable for people (which I think MFP does, among other tools) and convincing them that weight isn't just what they are given, but the result of actions and choices seems to me much more empowering. Like I've said, for a period of time I really just didn't care about being fat--I didn't like the way I looked, of course, but the tradeoff was acceptable to me. But part of this is that I knew I could lose weight when I was ready, since I'd done it and kept it off for years before, so didn't feel as helpless and like I just was doomed to be fat as I had before the first time.

kmsnyg

As a fat person trying to do something about it, I concur with the folks who say that for most people, it is a choice.

Probably less than 5% of folks have a true medical reason for inability to lose weight (and that number is probably an overestimation, it's probably closer to 1%).

I know from experience, that I got super fat because I like to eat high calorie/high fat food. Burgers, cheese fries, chinese food, pizza. I'd seriously eat that stuff everyday if it didn't cause weight gain/health problems.

Is weight loss hard? Heck yea. It's hard to change eating habits I've had my entire life. But I've realized that I had a choice to make. I can eat what I want when I want it, and die young from an obesity related illness OR I can suck it up and make the necessary lifestyle change to lose the weight.

And not to be a total jerk, but anyone who has an excuse for every single piece of advice given, is in denial and is making excuses. I've been in denial, trust me I know.