Fit for Future Families - February 2011

abeare

Erica, I usually cramp a couple days before AF comes too, this is why I was worried. But I went to the washroom and found that there was a tiny bit of spotting, not on my underwear by the toilet paper (so sorry if this is TMI) but its very faint. I would have never noticed it if I wasn’t always checking my CM! I can’t help but drive myself crazy hoping! Arghhh, if only I had a magic ball!

Kim, I’m so sorry to hear about your sister’s delay! I know the judge is only doing his due diligence but it sucks none the less!
Happy BD’ing!

Ash

kah78

Katie and Erica--hugs...that stinks.

Heather and Ashley--hang in there!

Everyone else--keep on trying!!

AFM:Did not have a very fun time at the Drs office today for my Clomid check. 100 mg of Clomid making me act like a crazy woman, and my progesterone level results from day 22 was 0.9. Yikes. Lower than the month before. Dr doesn't want to do the Femara because it is an off-label use of the medication. So I was asking about progesterone levels and stuff, and if there was a chance that I could have ovulated and then just started bleeding 4 days later since I had a positive OPK test. She said that she wasn't an RE, but that yes, it was possible, but that would mean I might just have bad eggs.

Well. That makes me feel so much more optimistic. You have a nice day too, Dr. I wish I hadn't asked.

So, I really don't know any more than I did earlier today before the appt, but I just feel cruddy. And then I had to relay the whole visit to my husband which just made his day into a real downer too. I"m going to go ahead and do one more round of Clomid 150 mg. If this doesn't work, then the Dr and I are in agreement, if we are going to pursue further treatment, it's time to see an RE. I"m not expecting it to work, and I"m not getting my hopes up after the last round. So hubs and I have a lot of thinking, planning and praying to do.

If we didn't have a kid already, I'm fairly certain I know that we would pursue treatment. But, since we already have one, and we live on a pretty tight budget as it is, spending what could amount to a second new car to try to have another feels like a really hard question to answer. I know that we might not have to spend that much, but every little bit counts with us. Ugh. Do you go into debt to try to have a child that will cost even more money because that's the way you always pictured it? I just don't know what should change, my picture or my money attitude. Maybe both. Who knows.

So we both are just feeling a whole lot of disappointment right now...which we aren't really used to. I think hubs is feeling it keener. I've had months and months of this to build up some tolerance, while it is just really starting to sink in for him, to a level that he can't hide it or brush it off, and I"m not sure how to help/support him. Plus, he wants to tell his parents, and I know that's weighing on him because his mom is going to start crying when we tell her we might not be able to have more kids. It's just never a good time to say "By the way, I don't know if we are going to be able to have more kids...just wanted you to know." I'm hoping we can recover quickly, regain some perspective and get on with this next cycle. Which is what it is. I think I"m going to go cope with a margarita and some chocolate. Don't bother looking at my food diary--it's probably going to look like food porn. Haha.

abeare

Karen, I'm so sorry to hear the cruddy news. As for your question about money vs life picture, i think the answer is different for every couple. I did want to ask you what you did to conceive your first child and why is that no longer an option?

kah78

Karen, I'm so sorry to hear the cruddy news. As for your question about money vs life picture, i think the answer is different for every couple. I did want to ask you what you did to conceive your first child and why is that no longer an option?

Thanks Ash--the answer is different for every couple. It's figuring out what OUR answer is going to be that is hard, of course. With Joshua, I went off the patch and two weeks later we were pregnant. Hows that for ironic? We didn't know how good we had it! That's part of the reason this whole process has been such a shock--we really didn't see it coming. But, the stats hold up--secondary infertility is just as common as primary infertility. I keep telling my husband that maybe I should just go back on birth control to try to get pregnant. Haha....

I just wanted to say--thanks for letting me spew my negative energy out. I always feel so much better afterwards. Just tell me if I'm being too much of a negatron, ok? I don't want to drag anyone on my rollercoaster of emotions with me, if I can avoid it.

heathercrist1

Karen I can't help but to say I absolutely understand and am right there with you. Like I said in my previous post, this whole physical and emotional roller coaster isn't for the faint of heart. If it doesn't work this month, we are going to sit down and talk about where do we go from here. Big hugs. Oh and I about fell over when you said it your Food Diary would look like food porn! lol! That's how I feel too when I have my free meal and I log it. And you just spew away...that is what we are here for!

Kim I'm so sorry about the delay. Obviously nothing, not even the system that is in place to protect us, runs smoothly.

Ash you hang in there too! This is the hardest week!

Pam how is everything going with you? Hope all is well.

Well I called the doc office because I haven't heard anything about my blood work. The (rude) girl at the front desk said they didn't have any information and that the nurse would call me when they did. Well then I got home and what do you know, the results had been copied and mailed to me (from their office)....Grrr... (btw just wanted to say that 99% of the time you call a doc office you aren't talking to a nurse, myself being a nurse just wanted to make that clear! lol!). My blood sugar (A1C) looks great at 5.1 (anything less than a 5.7 is good). And my Progesterone level is 46.2...no typo, it is 46.2! anything above a 2.6 means probable ovulation, anything over a 5 means ovulation...So hopefully we caught our egg and my progesterone is high enough to sustain the pregnancy. Guess we will see in a couple days....

kt4au

Well I am out too. AF showed up a little while ago. I can handle the whole negative thing but getting 2 BFP and then AF showing is just mean. I don't know what is going on with my body but it is making me mad. :mad: The worst part is that I have already given DH the onsie. I guess I should have waited until today. I have to go to the dr tomorrow to see if my ovaries look okay to start over with the Femara. I guess we are going to do the IUI this time and if it doesn't work, then I think I am just going to give up. I really want to just sit around and cry and eat comfort food. If it wasn't DH's birthday, I would but I guess I need to be happy for him. At least know I can have a couple of drinks.

Sorry for everyone elses' frustrations. I am glad you guys are always here when I need to vent.

abeare

Vent away girls, you've got my "online shoulder" to cry on any day! :flowerforyou:

epa422

Kim, I'm so sorry your niece still isn't home with her mom. Hopefully after the court date, she'll be granted full custody and won't ever have to go through this again.

Karen, sorry your appointment wasn't helpful. They can test your FSH levels on CD 3 to give you an idea of what kind of egg quality you have. It's not 100%, but it's better than not knowing. An RE would probably be good. They can try injectible medication to help you ovulate without having to do anything besides timed intercourse. It's expensive, but still less expensive than other options.

Katie, I'm so sorry! That's part of the reason I hate testing early. I can't imagine how much more that disappointment would hurt than just having AF arrive. I really hope that you don't have to be on this rollercoaster much longer.

Heather, that's an awesome progesterone number!!!! No wonder you feel all out of sorts!

andreamichelle82

Vent away girls, you've got my "online shoulder" to cry on any day! :flowerforyou:

Same here... my heart is breaking for all of you guys!!!!!

heathercrist1

Katie I'm so very very sorry....that happened to me last month and in December. Actually in December it was weeks of I kept getting a positive followed by a negative until the day before my 30th birthday I began to cramp and bleed heavily. Big hugs! It is okay to cry and eat...just give yourself a day (or two) and then pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get back on the wagon. We all need time to grieve when we are disappointed like that. It is human. So drink those margaritas and pick back up Monday.

Erica I know that having a high level doesn't mean I'm pregnant, but at least if sperm did meet egg I have enough progesterone in me to sustain the pregnancy! Gives me a little more hope. I've been lacking on the sunny positive vibes lately... With this weather and my hubby home (they closed the base due to weather) I really wanna eat junk and veg, but with my "official" weigh in and measurements tomorrow I'm choosing to not and be healthy!

fitterpam

Hey guys things really move and shake if you miss a couple of hours.

So I'm pretty well done AF at this point, but I'm still spotting and some other weird stuff. Hoping that's done tomorrow...back to temping. I want to be able to give the fertility clinic an idea of what my body is doing. I'm sure we're still going to have to do IVF since DH's count is <1M at this point, there aren't a lot of options - although I have heard clomid has been known to help. I'm not willing to spend the time monkeying around with cheaper options though. I just want to be pregnant already....LOL

DH's grandmother and uncle flew in today. We have a big retirement party for his Uncle just west of the city so most of the family from the east coast flew in as a surprise. Only 3 people in the province know that they're here......Should be a fun night on Saturday. We're in for another blast of winter tomorrow, I think...BLAH, but it's swim club tonight and I fibbed a little. My motivation is about a 5/10 tonight, but I told my swim buddy that I was a 13....LOL She couldn't back out tonight.

I've been eating junk junk junk and then some junk. I went to put on my bathing suit for the pool tonight (I put it on before we leave since we leave no time to change when we're there) and even my DH said, why do you have double cleavage? OMG, seriously, the suit is so small around the chest, that my boobs are folding in on themselves :noway: LOL I've worn this for two cycles now. It's not too small anywhere else......he suggested I might be bloated. Anyone heard of bloating in your boobs only?? I told him that was just wishful thinking on his part.....:laugh:

I'm really sorry for all those who had a nasty surprise in the last few days. I really thought it was the time for most of you to be pregnant. Heather - that sounds like you've made quite the cozy little home for an embryo, if they're there.

AMummysLife

Evening ladies

Pam - must say I have never had my breasts double up like that but I'm not exactly top heavy up there in the first place.

Katie - so very sorry, hun.

AFM - The witch showed up this morning after another temp drop so back to square one for me as well.

heathercrist1

Sorry History...seems to be the trend. That damn AF!

Pam sounds like you are going to have a wonderful time surrounded by lots of family (good thing you like his family or it'd be a much different weekend that's for sure! lol!). Congrats on the weight loss! Evidently you haven't been eating TOO much junk... You are on a roll now!

Well I read up last night and found out that only 20-30% of women experience implantation bleeding. So I'm not hoping for that anymore. lol! Such a silly thing to wish for anyways. I'm on CD25 (again, feels like CD101) and I think I'm 8 or 9dpo. Still planning on testing on Monday (cd28) only cause I won't be able to hold out any longer. If it is a bfn then I will test again on Wed. I'm absolutely exhausted. I woke up at 3am and couldn't fall back asleep. Not sure when I finally did fall back asleep. Even though we got a couple inches of snow last night, I'm not allowing that to ruin my plan of working out this morning and then going into the city shopping and dinner with two of my girlfriends. (Erica I'll be up your way! Going to ruin about 3 days worth of calories at Cheddars! lol!) I weighed in today and still the same ole 146lbs but I lost an inch on my waist and my hips so that's something. Especially since I've been feeling VERY bloated lately.

Hope you ladies have a great Friday!

nkster781

I woke up with a cold this morning and am feeling so drained. I came across this quote and thought it fit nicely for all in this thread.

“Never let go of hope. One day you will see that it all has finally come together. What you have always wished for has finally come to be. You will look back and laugh at what has passed and you will ask yourself... 'How did I get through all of that?”

Happy Friday All! Hopefully the next round brings more happy news. I really think once the weather gets warmer we will be getting my BFP's:flowerforyou:

~Nichole

abeare

Heather, I’m so jealous! An inch off your waist and hips is a huge success! Congrats!

Nichole, I love the quote, thanks for that!

So silly neurotic me took a PT this morning, it was a BFN! I was kinda surprised considering I was told I’d get a false positive (I just wanted to see what it looked like positive!) but I guess all the hormones from the trigger shot is out of me! So now I wait still! AF is due before my 2WW from the IUI ends, so I’ll probably test again next week simply because I cant not!

Baby dust to all!

Ash,

fitterpam

Nichole - LOVE it!!!!!

Heather - That accounted for the weight I gained because of AF....LOL although.....I am now the lowest I've been on my journey so far.....by 0.3lbs!!!! My jaw hit ground when I realized that this morning And I've had LOADS of junk, I could be much smaller....LOL I'm pretty sure the 30+ chocolate turtles (at ~100cals/piece) I've had this week haven't helped. And last night for swim club, I got caught out for the fried chicken and taters that we had for dinner. Got home late and hubs picked up fried chicken and potato wedges. First thing one of my swim club buddies said when she got in my car was "Why does it smell like McDonalds in here?" :blushing: Way to go on the lost inches!!!!! it's not all about the scale

Ashley - I'm anxious to find out for you since I'll be going through all this hoopla in a few months except I'll know that I conceived when I'm done the treatments, but not whether or not it'll implant or if I have high enough progesterone or all the other kazillion things....

History - LOL I'm not huge up top either, but once the suit got wet it relaxed again....it wasn't tight anywhere else so now I'm not wanting to do my month end measurements.....LOL what if it wasn't the suit but me adding the inches.....LOL

epa422

So sorry, History.

That's a great quote, nkster! I'm not sure what warm weather has to do with BFPs, though. Most people get more snuggly when it's cold out.

Of course, I've already been through all of the seasons and none of it has mattered. :noway:

We got three inches of snow on top of an inch or more of ice. Driving was not fun this morning. I'm hoping to get back on track now and stay on track with exercise. I think I can, I think I can...

fitterpam

Erica - good point about the weather. I wonder when most babies are conceived (I would personally think something in spring or fall, away from temp extremes). It's something I've taken into consideration for a while. I've noticed that most of my irregular periods happen in the summer. And I'm thinking summer is brutal for my DH's count since his body heat is usually 1-2 degrees hotter than average normally (hereditary condition that could contribute to the lower count) and we're worried he kills off the little soldiers with body heat. I would think though in the winter most people bundle up more and therefore could contribute to compromised counts.......has anyone seen any research on this??

epa422

I've read that men are more fertile in the cooler months and women in the spring and fall. I'll see if I can find it.

http://www.conceiveonline.com/fertility-basics/best-season-to-conceive/

kcurtis05

TGIF!
History~ Good luck this cycle! You're not alone...
Nichole~ love the quote.
Erica~We got some more snow too. Thankfully our earlier ice/snow melted enough, so the roads weren't too bad here.
Pam & Heather~ Way to go on the loss!!!! That's awesome!

I have been thinking lately and if DH and I get preggo this month EDD would be November or possibly into December. I'm a little unsure about having a little one that close to the holidays. I don't know... Money always gets tight now and we don't have any kids, I can only how stressful it would be around that time with one. Maybe I'm just looking into it too much. LOL I guess it will happen regardless. Maybe I shouldn't be picky. LOL Does anyone have a preferred time due?

epa422

Kim, I felt that way last year. My husband works retail and December is the absolute worst for him. He really wanted a December baby, though, so he could take paternity leave. :laugh: At this point, I will take any due date I can have. You'll find a way to make it work no matter what. People always do.

epa422

OK, in an attempt to make myself accountable (and I know we typically do this on Monday, but I have a better shot of starting on the weekend) here are my goals for the week:

Saturday: elliptical and short pilates
Sunday: long pilates
Monday: ellipitcal
Tuesday: long pilates
Wednesday: double elliptical and short pilates or walking cardio shape-up
Thursday: long pilates
Friday: rest or elliptical

My elliptical programs are all 30 minutes. The short pilates video is 20 minutes. The long pilates video is 50 minutes. Plus, I'll end up stretching afterward for 10 minutes. That should be good...

abeare

I need someone to tell me that the spotting and cramping isn’t me starting my period! It feels like AF, but she’s not due for another 4-5 days! I want to cry.:sad:

kcurtis05

Eric That sounds like a great plan! You can do it! I only wish I could be right there with you! LOL

DH and I are ripping out the carpet in our living room and hallway tonight and installing a very pretty dark cherry laminate floor. Needless to say, I really don't I'll be making it to Zumba this weekend. Even if DH told me to go I would feel bad leaving him there to do it on his own for an hour or two. Then we have an appointment to get our taxes done on Sunday. YAY! :ohwell: Fun filled weekend!

epa422

Awww, Ashley... spotting doesn't necessarily mean AF is on her way. It could be implantation. Have they checked your progesterone levels?

fitterpam

Ash. You're 7dpiui right? It could be implantation spotting..that usually happens between 6-10DPO (or in this case IUI).

Kim. Love that you use the renovations towards your exercise. It makes sense that you get to see a change in yourself today as well as the change in your home If I had to choose, it would not be end of Dec - Jan. I'd like a summer baby, OBVIOUSLY that's not going to happen.....LOL Jan - Mar would be good too. We have 1 BD in Mar, 1 in April, 2 in May, 1 in Aug, 1 in Sept, 1 in Nov, 2 in Dec. The 3 birthdays within a month from Christmas is always tough. My siblings always had rough birthdays too with many people out of town with family. But I'll take anything really................anything at all....LOL

All of my siblings and I were born in the fall (I was born in South Africa where the seasons are all mixed up) so I guess that means we were conceived in the late winter/early spring. That's in keeping with the provided timelines Erica.....

kah78

I'm with Erica--at this point, I'll take a baby whenever I can get one! BUT, I will say that we didn't start trying last year until after our due date would have gotten us through the holidays. If we get prego this month (unlikely) we are looking at a Dec due date. Like I said, I'll take it if it happens! All of our family "holidays" are in the fall....as are most of my husband's family. My birthday in September, anniversary in Oct, Josh bday in Nov, and hubby in Dec. You can just hear the gigantic sucking noise from our checking account starting in September, and just about every weekend it taken up by some cousin's party. There are worse problems, I know. A friend has a Christmas baby--so they acknowledge it at Christmas, but they do his "celebration" on his half-birthday--so they celebrate in the summer. I like that idea, too.

Ash--!!!! Don't give up on yourself yet!! But it's okay to go ahead and cry if that helps. Sometimes it does.

AFM: Last night was tough. I think the Dr's appt yesterday really served as a turning point for my husband. He is really struggling right now with the whole "we might not have any more kids" thing, and it is really hard on him. It's hard too because I'm his number one support person, and he acknowledges that sometimes he is just really angry at me for not "working right", even though he knows it's not my fault. I think this is really the first "crisis" he and I have had together...and we are having to figure out how to navigate this together without turning on each other. Not that either of us are worried about the strength of our relationship, but it is a real acknowledgment of just how difficult this is, and how much it is affecting us. We are having to figure out new ways of coping that we haven't before. I reached out to a friend of mine who had IVF twins last year--told her I was starting my third round of Clom-id and it doesn't' look promising. She's been there, done that. We are going out for coffee later this week to just talk about it. I think it will be good.

I was up .8 lbs this Friday. My logging has been slipping, and my snacking is increasing, and I just started some pretty intense kettlebell lifting. As much as I would love to think that the increase is due to the kettlebell lifting (they said that can happen when you first start), I think it's probably more due to the munchies. Hubs says not to be so hard on myself. I said "Yeah, I know--but it really just feels like adding insult to injury." Small victory last night--my food porn turned into just two girl scout cookies. So, you all will have to just keep looking if you are wanting some really naughty food diary to read. Red Robin is a possibility for tonight though, so you never know....

Good luck everyone. You all are in my thoughts and prayers whether you want to be or not.

heathercrist1

Nichole I love that quote! So much so that I used it as my Facebook status! It is very fitting, that's for sure.

Ash sounds like it is very likely that you've got implantation bleeding going on. Try and stay positive! 20-30% of women experience IB so it is totally a possibility! I will continue to pray that this is the case! KMFX! How are you feeling today?

Karen I'm so very afraid that I'm right behind you in all of this. If this month doesn't happen for us, I'm not sure how much more of this I can take. The sad thing is that I don't even have the experience of being a mom at all... I know your pain is still real. I think that when two people are put in situations of "crisis" it only brings them closer (if they allow that to be). So through this whole thing, at least I'm sure you and DH are able to get to the other side of the ocean a little wet and tired, but together and stronger (if that makes any sense). And .8 is nothing...we fluctuate daily 3-5lbs. Just don't let that .8 turn into 8 and you'll be good!

Kim sounds like you and DH love home improvement! lol! I do love the change for the better that home improvement brings...the actual work itself is a different story! lol! I'm more of a decorator, than a home improver kinda girl! lol! I'm sure you are definitely getting in a good calorie burn though!

Erica that is a great plan of attack! I always write down my workouts for the week on my calender so it is scheduled like an appointment. Makes me feel bad when I miss one then.

Erica/Pam the thing us military wives talk about is the influx of new babies 9-12 months after they get back from a deployment (a trip to the sandbox aka the War). You can always tell around military bases when a large amount of troops got back by the amount of pregnant women waddling around walmart. lol!

I had always imagined I'd have a Spring/Summer baby but after 7 years of trying for a baby...I think anytime would be a GREAT time! My birthday is 9 days before Christmas and my parents were always so broke/stressed by upcoming Christmas that my birthday was forgotten a lot. If we have a baby close to the holidays I will make sure that we still celebrate the same as if they were born in June. That's only fair.

AFM I'm doing EVERYTHING in my power not to test right now. I know it will just be another BFN....but what if. Ugh. The bad thing is that on base the FRER tests for 3 are only $6 a box. So for me to test more often isn't quite the hit in the bank account as buying them at walmart for $18 for 2! My shopping trip with my friend and dinner last night was so much fun. Dinner was absolutely ahhh-mazing! I didn't even bother logging it because Cheddars is so unhealthy they don't publish their nutritional values! That's pretty bad. Oh well...today is another day back on the wagon. I did workout yesterday for 2 hours and then did a lot of walking around shopping so that has to make up for at least a few bites of the meal. My DH is working again today. I haven't seen him since Monday (cause it was a holiday). I'm sure glad he likes his job, cause he is there more than he is here.

I hope everyone is having a great weekend!

abeare

Thanks for the reassurance guys, but to be honest I’m still cramping and going on my third day with very light spotting. I wish I’d never had noticed it, it’s not on my undies, just when I wipe so I could have totally missed it if I wasn’t constantly stressing about it! If it felt different from my normal pre-menstrual cramps I’d probably allow myself to get exited but they’re so similar, the only difference is this feeling of a bloated uterus if that makes sense, but I had that same feeling the day of the IUI so I think it’s because of that. My eating has sucked too, DH and I went to this great Cajun restaurant last night and tomorrow nigh I’m supposed to go to a Mexican place with a friend that’s down just for the weekend. This weekend feels like a total failure, sorry that I’m so down!
Erica, your workout sounds great! You made me want to set myself up a plan, so thanks for the motivation!
Karen, I’m so sorry that this wasn’t your month, both DH and I always dreaded having to have that conversation. I’m so happy that you at least got to experience the whole thing once with your son and am sending you lots of baby dust in hopes that you get to have it again!
Kim, I actually love DIY’s... well not so much with DH because we do things differently and we both have the knowhow. My father’s a carpenter and so I’ve been doing stuff like that since I was a kid, the first roof I ever helped with was when I was 12, actually most of our furniture (coffee table, hutch, even our cutting boards) I made in my father’s shop, there’s nothing like the feeling you get once it’s all done. The sense of accomplishment is so rewarding, you created, fixed or improved on something! Enjoy your new floors!
Heather, I hope you’re having a better month than I, and not testing is so hard right now, DH and I just bought 2 pkgs of FRER(the one’s with two PT’s each box) last night. DH was so upset that i didn’t take one this morning, he’s even getting the pee on a stick syndrome:laugh: ! I hope your next test gives you a BFP so that you can be one of those pregnant women in Wal-Mart

Ash,

heathercrist1

Okay...so I couldn't help myself...Hi my name is Heather and I'm a peeonastick-aholic. It was my second morning urine and I literally had to make myself go...but sure enough...BFP!!!! It is the first time I've gotten a BFP on a FRER. I have one more test so I'm going to use it on Monday. But I'm going to make an appointment with my doctor first thing Monday morning. At least I know my Progesterone levels are good so far. I'm scared out of my mind to have another miscarriage but I'm going to do my best to stay positive. I would post a pic but I'm not sure how to post pics on here. It is faint...but it's there. We had decided that if I did get pregnant this month that we wouldn't tell anyone (besides my 2 closest gf's and then my online support of course!) but I just got off the phone with my parents and it took everything I had to not tell them. My husband leaves for army training in AZ on March 17th and won't get back until May 12th so I will be almost 15 weeks before we tell them. I'm not sure I can wait that long.... I just hope that it sticks.