A Personal View on Exercise Cals and Underfeeding

lovetowrite73

Too bad this can't be stickied. Or at least added to one of the stickies.

SHBoss1673

Too bad this can't be stickied. Or at least added to one of the stickies.

it can, I'll email Cheryl and have her add it to the "Posts you want to read again and again" post, she probably would have eventually anyway.

kao708

Yeah, this is too long and I didn't read it. Hope someone found some benefit from it. My ADD kicked in after the first paragraph! :bigsmile:

lovetowrite73

Too bad this can't be stickied. Or at least added to one of the stickies.

it can, I'll email Cheryl and have her add it to the "Posts you want to read again and again" post, she probably would have eventually anyway.

That's great!! Thanks so much.

smfoye

Though I weigh FAR more than you, I went through a similar process of starving my body and "un"learning when I was truly hungry. I am also significantly older than you. So I do try to stay at about 14-1500 cals a day now, and exercise 30 mins a day or more 6 days a week. I hope, over time, my body responds. I am losing, although it is slower than one would think given 1000/day calorie deficit. But that's where I should be for life, and I don't want to get used to the 2500 calories a day that mfp tells me to eat and then have to cut back again. AT least that's my approach so far. Thank you for your encouraging post.

TLW77

bump

SHBoss1673

Too bad this can't be stickied. Or at least added to one of the stickies.

it can, I'll email Cheryl and have her add it to the "Posts you want to read again and again" post, she probably would have eventually anyway.

That's great!! Thanks so much.

bummer, that thread has been locked (full I think). We'll figure something out.

mimstero

Thank you so much for writing! Your information was great and I will keep it in mind. I also love the fact that you write well and your intelligence comes through.
My first ten pounds came off pretty easily with about 2 pounds per week, but since then it's been a struggle. I have even gained over two pounds in three days. Disappointing. I am still trying to figure out what will work now, and I am going to try to focus on lifting weights more regularly like I was doing initially. I just like doing cardio more simply because I can eat those calories back. Lifting weights doesn't do that.
Anyway, keep it up and thanks again!

lisa_lotte

GREAT post!!! Thank you

Lanfear

. I never ate breakfast, rarely ate lunch, ate a good dinner and snacked all evening. I did no purposeful exercise. I never drank water. I drank a lot of soda. The food I ate was overall pretty healthy; good protein, good carbs, not too bad on fat, very little fast food, and my snacks were generally pretty good (though of course I did do too much carbs). But at the end of the day, my intake was probably around 800-1200 most days and probably half of that was from soda. Then I would have occasional binges where I probably took in 2500-3000 in a day. But this definitely did NOT bring me up to a good daily intake, even when averaged out. So I sat at a daily average intake of around 1000-1200 for about 5 years. My BMR is about 1500, and maintenance cals at sedentary are about 2000. So I should have been losing weight, right?

This sounds very much like me, with the exception of soda. At the weekends I would eat crisps like there was no tomorrow and just snack all day on rubbish. During the week I generally followed your pattern of only really eating a main meal in the evening. I could never understand why my weight stayed the same, or crept up - even when I was religiously going to the gym 3 times a week for an hour/hour and a half.

I've tried Weight Watchers, Slimming World and Rosemary Conley and none of them worked for me. I would lose a little and then just stick.... and stick... and stick.... Generally my weight would yo-yo between 11 st 7 pounds and 12 stone 3 pounds. Since joining MFP in February, I am now under 11 stone for the first time in years and look forward to losing a little more. I eat far more than I ever would have considered previously and I eat back most (if not all) of my exercise calories.

Just1forMe

Thanks for posting this. I am printing it out for my husband. For the last 15 years, his diet has consisted of a cup of Starbucks coffee in the morning, nothing all day until about 6 pm when he will eat a big dinner (sometimes 2 helpings) and then sit on the couch eating chocolate and candy all evening. He was a builder for many years so he burnt a lot of calories during the day and he was outwardly in very good shape and maintained his normal weight but now he builds furniture and that is less intensive. About 6 mos ago I finally convinced him (after years of trying) that he was probably destroying all his lean muscle mass (including his heart) by maintaining such a low calorie intake & crappy diet. I got him to take a lunch to work (turkey sandwiches, apples, etc). After 3 mos, he had gained about 15 lbs because he had slowed his metabolism down so much that increasing his intake made him gain instantly. Of course, this proved to him that I was wrong and that his "diet" was the best way for him to keep "trim and healthy". 3 mos later, after going back to his dinner only + snacks diet, he has not lost a pound because his body will not let go of it. UGH! I wish he would "get it"! These are perfect examples of the long-term effects of eating well under your Net calories (underfeeding). Don't do it!!

SHBoss1673

Thanks for posting this. I am printing it out for my husband. For the last 15 years, his diet has consisted of a cup of Starbucks coffee in the morning, nothing all day until about 6 pm when he will eat a big dinner (sometimes 2 helpings) and then sit on the couch eating chocolate and candy all evening. He was a builder for many years so he burnt a lot of calories during the day and he was outwardly in very good shape and maintained his normal weight but now he builds furniture and that is less intensive. About 6 mos ago I finally convinced him (after years of trying) that he was probably destroying all his lean muscle mass (including his heart) by maintaining such a low calorie intake & crappy diet. I got him to take a lunch to work (turkey sandwiches, apples, etc). After 3 mos, he had gained about 15 lbs because he had slowed his metabolism down so much that increasing his intake made him gain instantly. Of course, this proved to him that I was wrong and that his "diet" was the best way for him to keep "trim and healthy". 3 mos later, after going back to his dinner only + snacks diet, he has not lost a pound because his body will not let go of it. UGH! I wish he would "get it"! These are perfect examples of the long-term effects of eating well under your Net calories (underfeeding). Don't do it!!

So I can give you even more examples of why your husband's behavior is bad. He mimics my brothers behavior almost to a T. My brother has been a master carpenter for a while. Outwardly, very healthy looking, but he did a similar thing, large coffee in the morning, small, unhealthy lunch, huge, semi-healthy dinner usually, then some high simple carb or sugar snack at night. He just turned 43 and had to go to the doctor (he's been putting it off for years) and had LDL cholesterol way north of 170 (really high), HDL cholesterol somewhere around 35 (far to low), triglycerides were off the charts, signs of arterial plaque, and he was essentially at a extremely elevated risk for either stroke or CAD. So you see, you can look super healthy, be able to lift an ox, and still be on the verge of death. Eating right is just as important to exercise folks. That was a year ago, and he's better now (not great, but better) but as you can see, it's easy to screw up this thing we call health.

ladyhawk00

Thanks for posting this. I am printing it out for my husband. For the last 15 years, his diet has consisted of a cup of Starbucks coffee in the morning, nothing all day until about 6 pm when he will eat a big dinner (sometimes 2 helpings) and then sit on the couch eating chocolate and candy all evening. He was a builder for many years so he burnt a lot of calories during the day and he was outwardly in very good shape and maintained his normal weight but now he builds furniture and that is less intensive. About 6 mos ago I finally convinced him (after years of trying) that he was probably destroying all his lean muscle mass (including his heart) by maintaining such a low calorie intake & crappy diet. I got him to take a lunch to work (turkey sandwiches, apples, etc). After 3 mos, he had gained about 15 lbs because he had slowed his metabolism down so much that increasing his intake made him gain instantly. Of course, this proved to him that I was wrong and that his "diet" was the best way for him to keep "trim and healthy". 3 mos later, after going back to his dinner only + snacks diet, he has not lost a pound because his body will not let go of it. UGH! I wish he would "get it"! These are perfect examples of the long-term effects of eating well under your Net calories (underfeeding). Don't do it!!

So I can give you even more examples of why your husband's behavior is bad. He mimics my brothers behavior almost to a T. My brother has been a master carpenter for a while. Outwardly, very healthy looking, but he did a similar thing, large coffee in the morning, small, unhealthy lunch, huge, semi-healthy dinner usually, then some high simple carb or sugar snack at night. He just turned 43 and had to go to the doctor (he's been putting it off for years) and had LDL cholesterol way north of 170 (really high), HDL cholesterol somewhere around 35 (far to low), triglycerides were off the charts, signs of arterial plaque, and he was essentially at a extremely elevated risk for either stroke or CAD. So you see, you can look super healthy, be able to lift an ox, and still be on the verge of death. Eating right is just as important to exercise folks. That was a year ago, and he's better now (not great, but better) but as you can see, it's easy to screw up this thing we call health.

I've known a lot of people who do this. I think our caffeine addictions (whether soda or coffee) have really screwed up our eating habits. Not only is it added empty cals, but it often takes the place of actual food, so nutrient levels fall on top of increased simple sugars. So then we crash and we're more tired...and need more caffeine. :huh: Vicious cycle.

robin52077

Thanks for posting this. I am printing it out for my husband. For the last 15 years, his diet has consisted of a cup of Starbucks coffee in the morning, nothing all day until about 6 pm when he will eat a big dinner (sometimes 2 helpings) and then sit on the couch eating chocolate and candy all evening. He was a builder for many years so he burnt a lot of calories during the day and he was outwardly in very good shape and maintained his normal weight but now he builds furniture and that is less intensive. About 6 mos ago I finally convinced him (after years of trying) that he was probably destroying all his lean muscle mass (including his heart) by maintaining such a low calorie intake & crappy diet. I got him to take a lunch to work (turkey sandwiches, apples, etc). After 3 mos, he had gained about 15 lbs because he had slowed his metabolism down so much that increasing his intake made him gain instantly. Of course, this proved to him that I was wrong and that his "diet" was the best way for him to keep "trim and healthy". 3 mos later, after going back to his dinner only + snacks diet, he has not lost a pound because his body will not let go of it. UGH! I wish he would "get it"! These are perfect examples of the long-term effects of eating well under your Net calories (underfeeding). Don't do it!!

So I can give you even more examples of why your husband's behavior is bad. He mimics my brothers behavior almost to a T. My brother has been a master carpenter for a while. Outwardly, very healthy looking, but he did a similar thing, large coffee in the morning, small, unhealthy lunch, huge, semi-healthy dinner usually, then some high simple carb or sugar snack at night. He just turned 43 and had to go to the doctor (he's been putting it off for years) and had LDL cholesterol way north of 170 (really high), HDL cholesterol somewhere around 35 (far to low), triglycerides were off the charts, signs of arterial plaque, and he was essentially at a extremely elevated risk for either stroke or CAD. So you see, you can look super healthy, be able to lift an ox, and still be on the verge of death. Eating right is just as important to exercise folks. That was a year ago, and he's better now (not great, but better) but as you can see, it's easy to screw up this thing we call health.

Wow, this hit home.... I worry about my honey...

He is a carpenter, lives off coffee until he gets home at 5 or 6 PM and eats takeout or fast food before bed. If he IS home in time to eat dinner with me, whatever I make is never "enough" to satisfy him and he eats crap after it anyways. He usually gets up in the middle of the night and eats, usually peanut butter. I calculated it out once and confronted him with the fact that he ate 3000 calories of peanut butter at 2AM. Three THOUSAND. Then starts all over the next day....
He has gained 30 lbs in 4 years doing this.
He won't listen to anything I say about it.

greeneyed84

Thanks for sharing!

greeneyed84

Thanks for sharing!

ladyhawk00

Thanks for posting this. I am printing it out for my husband. For the last 15 years, his diet has consisted of a cup of Starbucks coffee in the morning, nothing all day until about 6 pm when he will eat a big dinner (sometimes 2 helpings) and then sit on the couch eating chocolate and candy all evening. He was a builder for many years so he burnt a lot of calories during the day and he was outwardly in very good shape and maintained his normal weight but now he builds furniture and that is less intensive. About 6 mos ago I finally convinced him (after years of trying) that he was probably destroying all his lean muscle mass (including his heart) by maintaining such a low calorie intake & crappy diet. I got him to take a lunch to work (turkey sandwiches, apples, etc). After 3 mos, he had gained about 15 lbs because he had slowed his metabolism down so much that increasing his intake made him gain instantly. Of course, this proved to him that I was wrong and that his "diet" was the best way for him to keep "trim and healthy". 3 mos later, after going back to his dinner only + snacks diet, he has not lost a pound because his body will not let go of it. UGH! I wish he would "get it"! These are perfect examples of the long-term effects of eating well under your Net calories (underfeeding). Don't do it!!

So I can give you even more examples of why your husband's behavior is bad. He mimics my brothers behavior almost to a T. My brother has been a master carpenter for a while. Outwardly, very healthy looking, but he did a similar thing, large coffee in the morning, small, unhealthy lunch, huge, semi-healthy dinner usually, then some high simple carb or sugar snack at night. He just turned 43 and had to go to the doctor (he's been putting it off for years) and had LDL cholesterol way north of 170 (really high), HDL cholesterol somewhere around 35 (far to low), triglycerides were off the charts, signs of arterial plaque, and he was essentially at a extremely elevated risk for either stroke or CAD. So you see, you can look super healthy, be able to lift an ox, and still be on the verge of death. Eating right is just as important to exercise folks. That was a year ago, and he's better now (not great, but better) but as you can see, it's easy to screw up this thing we call health.

Wow, this hit home.... I worry about my honey...

He is a carpenter, lives off coffee until he gets home at 5 or 6 PM and eats takeout or fast food before bed. If he IS home in time to eat dinner with me, whatever I make is never "enough" to satisfy him and he eats crap after it anyways. He usually gets up in the middle of the night and eats, usually peanut butter. I calculated it out once and confronted him with the fact that he ate 3000 calories of peanut butter at 2AM. Three THOUSAND. Then starts all over the next day....
He has gained 30 lbs in 4 years doing this.
He won't listen to anything I say about it.

Maybe print out stuff like this? And/or try to get him to go to the doc (I know, I know, that's nearly impossible with a lot of men) to at least get some blood tests and see where his numbers are - that could give him a wake up call. Frustrating, I know. :grumble:

runningneo122

Bump for the weekend newbies.

healthyandthin

Thanks for the article! I'm on the sidelines myself because it's hard to eat more and eat back my exercise calories.

Has anyone seen better results by eating exercise calories back?

robin52077

Thanks for the article! I'm on the sidelines myself because it's hard to eat more and eat back my exercise calories.

Has anyone seen better results by eating exercise calories back?

YES YES YES

Look at my ticker. We have the same stats. I am 5'2" as well.
I started here, ignorantly ate the 1200 they told me to eat and lost at first but then stopped. I only started to lose more when I started eating 1500 a day. Reached goal range 6 months ago and now I eat 1600-2200 a day depending on if I lounged around all day or was on my feet all day.

sauza

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I didn't take the time to put my story on the message board, but I should have. It is much the same as yours w/o any eating disorders. I had been a personal trainer and am a huge supporter of eating enough calories. But when I stopped training so heavily I decreased my caloric intake WAY too much. Not intentionally, just plain stupid about it. I didn't weigh or measure food or measure my output. I assumed. I lost so much muscle!! I had no idea what in the world could be wrong with me when I was attempting to really get in shape again. I could not do one push or pull up. And attempting squats let me know my lower body was in the same condition as my upper. And the road back is soooo long, that I have to psyche myself up for it everyday. I truly wish someone had noticed what I was doing and put their two cents worth in. Instead I worked in the medical community at the time - big supporters of lowering caloric intake and diet pills. So my starvation was supported. My brain functions were so affected I felt like a dementia patient. Starvation is a bad bad thing.

Thank you again, for taking the time. You may save someone from our fate and you have reinforced my resolve.

healthyandthin

Thanks for the article! I'm on the sidelines myself because it's hard to eat more and eat back my exercise calories.

Has anyone seen better results by eating exercise calories back?

YES YES YES

Look at my ticker. We have the same stats. I am 5'2" as well.
I started here, ignorantly ate the 1200 they told me to eat and lost at first but then stopped. I only started to lose more when I started eating 1500 a day. Reached goal range 6 months ago and now I eat 1600-2200 a day depending on if I lounged around all day or was on my feet all day.

We do have the same stats! I'm going to listen to your method so that my NET calorie is 1200. What kind of exercise did you do to lose the weight along with eating right?

robin52077

Thanks for the article! I'm on the sidelines myself because it's hard to eat more and eat back my exercise calories.

Has anyone seen better results by eating exercise calories back?

YES YES YES

Look at my ticker. We have the same stats. I am 5'2" as well.
I started here, ignorantly ate the 1200 they told me to eat and lost at first but then stopped. I only started to lose more when I started eating 1500 a day. Reached goal range 6 months ago and now I eat 1600-2200 a day depending on if I lounged around all day or was on my feet all day.

We do have the same stats! I'm going to listen to your method so that my NET calorie is 1200. What kind of exercise did you do to lose the weight along with eating right?

Making sure you're above 1200 net every day is a great start. Once you achieve that regularly, up it to 1500.
Next step is dialing in your nutrition.
MFPs protein is set too low by default. You should adjust your macronutrient ratios to make it so you have about 100 g of protein a day, and track fiber instead of sugar and change the low number to 30g, which will ensure your carbs are the right carbs, the kind with more fiber.

As for exercise. I lost the bulk of the weight on the treadmill and with jillian michaels dvds. Once I was within the last 5 lbs and realized I was looking "scrawny" instead of hot, I added heavy weight training. It's the muscle tone that makes you look good, not the bonyness!

healthyandthin

Thanks for the article! I'm on the sidelines myself because it's hard to eat more and eat back my exercise calories.

Has anyone seen better results by eating exercise calories back?

YES YES YES

Look at my ticker. We have the same stats. I am 5'2" as well.
I started here, ignorantly ate the 1200 they told me to eat and lost at first but then stopped. I only started to lose more when I started eating 1500 a day. Reached goal range 6 months ago and now I eat 1600-2200 a day depending on if I lounged around all day or was on my feet all day.

We do have the same stats! I'm going to listen to your method so that my NET calorie is 1200. What kind of exercise did you do to lose the weight along with eating right?

Making sure you're above 1200 net every day is a great start. Once you achieve that regularly, up it to 1500.
Next step is dialing in your nutrition.
MFPs protein is set too low by default. You should adjust your macronutrient ratios to make it so you have about 100 g of protein a day, and track fiber instead of sugar and change the low number to 30g, which will ensure your carbs are the right carbs, the kind with more fiber.

As for exercise. I lost the bulk of the weight on the treadmill and with jillian michaels dvds. Once I was within the last 5 lbs and realized I was looking "scrawny" instead of hot, I added heavy weight training. It's the muscle tone that makes you look good, not the bonyness!

I just ordered 30DS and hope to add that on top of my cardio workouts at the gym.

As for weight training, I always hear people talking about it but what does it mean exactly? Does it mean doing reps...for like 20 min? How heavy were the weights you used?

robin52077

I just ordered 30DS and hope to add that on top of my cardio workouts at the gym.

As for weight training, I always hear people talking about it but what does it mean exactly? Does it mean doing reps...for like 20 min? How heavy were the weights you used?

For now, I'd say doing the 30DS with 3 lb weights is a decent start. You WILL be sore from that, but keep pushing and do it daily unless you have actual PAIN somewhere, and not just soreness in your muscles.
Once you get used to that, then you can switch to harder strength training. I don't even touch my 3 lb or 5 lb weights any more. only the 10s and up. But don't try to start there if you've never used weights, you could hurt yourself. Learn correct form and use weight you can control rather than swinging/flopping it around. It has to be purposeful, controlled movements that engage the particular muscle you are aiming for.

And don't forget, there is "body weight" strength training too, where the weight of your own body acts as the resistance and you don't need dumbells...like pushups, planks, and squats and lunges...all of which you will get from Jillian, so like I said before, start there and see what you learn from her and then decide where you want to take it next.

And feel free to inbox me so we don't completely take over this thread! :flowerforyou:

kymarai

Sounds like my eating habits! Thank you for sharing! Good luck on your continued journey!

healthyandthin

I just ordered 30DS and hope to add that on top of my cardio workouts at the gym.

As for weight training, I always hear people talking about it but what does it mean exactly? Does it mean doing reps...for like 20 min? How heavy were the weights you used?

For now, I'd say doing the 30DS with 3 lb weights is a decent start. You WILL be sore from that, but keep pushing and do it daily unless you have actual PAIN somewhere, and not just soreness in your muscles.
Once you get used to that, then you can switch to harder strength training. I don't even touch my 3 lb or 5 lb weights any more. only the 10s and up. But don't try to start there if you've never used weights, you could hurt yourself. Learn correct form and use weight you can control rather than swinging/flopping it around. It has to be purposeful, controlled movements that engage the particular muscle you are aiming for.

And don't forget, there is "body weight" strength training too, where the weight of your own body acts as the resistance and you don't need dumbells...like pushups, planks, and squats and lunges...all of which you will get from Jillian, so like I said before, start there and see what you learn from her and then decide where you want to take it next.

And feel free to inbox me so we don't completely take over this thread! :flowerforyou:

I've been doing 5 lb weights and push ups daily. Since I only have 5 lb weights at home, I'm going to keep using those for 30DS. But when I go to the gym, I'm going to try heavier ones.

maryloo2011

(from cmbneeley):

thanks for your post. I've struggled with the same thing. i've always had a kind of disordered thinking about food that has led down paths of disordered eating. like you, i never "had the discipline to make myself truly ill" but i was far from healthy. since joined mfp, it has been very helpful to read others' posts and get healthy direction on how to eat better and exercise well.

I think this is me down to the bone and I am struggling with this new concept of eating more in order to be healthy and stay at a healthy weight.....in a healthy way. I joined this site in complete anonymity so I'm taking a deep breath while I stay true to myself and actually write this. It's always been in my head, but never talked about nor have I actually ever written something like this down for anyone to read.

I eat breakfast every day, and it has been the same thing for almost the past decade. I live on coffee at the office and never eat lunch there. I'll go out to eat with co-workers if they ask, and I have no issues eating in public restaurants. But I cannot bring myself to eat any food while i am in the office, whether at my desk or in the break room. Instead, I kept full with couple cups of coffee and tons of water throughout the day. I eat normal dinner with my partner at night and don't really snack at night. I'll get a little bit of a lag around 3pm, but hell I am leaving the office in about an hour, so no real big deal. I'll just push through. More water. I am not really a binge eater at all, either, mainly because I'm at the office all day and then after I come home and eat dinner I don't like to eat after 7pm. Don't like fast food (but we'll get it from time-to-time) and definitely don't drink pop. If you read my profile, you'll see that I am happy with a bland diet and have food allergies. I eat to live (though after learning what I have on this site, I'm sure that is not accurate at all…), not the other way around. This has been my way of life for the past decade. And just to say for the record, if we go over to a friends house, are at a party or any other normal social function I have no issues eating (what I can eat of course aside from the food allergies). Thinking about it, the food allergies has probably given me a lot of slack when it comes to what and how I eat food to other people.

Deep breath. I do believe that I have disordered eating. I've had a co-worker try to press a couple of times about not eating in the office but I shrug it off and say that I don't really get hungry because I drink so much coffee. Kinda true. My family isn't concerned (well sometimes they will comment that I'm looking pretty skinny) nor does it arise any questions by my partner. So there is no big deal in what I'm doing, right? I certainly don't want to talk about it in person, no matter who it is.

I didn't exercise at all, have a desk job and am moderately active on the weekends. I guess I really never thought it was much harm… I don't do a lot, so my body shouldn't need a lot of fuel as a result.

I tell this story in the present sense because I am still transitioning over the course of the past couple weeks. At the beginning of March, I started tracking what I ate (on a different site from MFP at first) and actually joined a gym, so I tracked what exercise I did. I switched to this website from the other one (FitClick if anyone cares) last week because I knew I would need a community, an outstanding one, in order to help me succeed. I find myself studying what I have input into my food journal for the day, and then studying it when I am hungry again (yes, eating when I am hungry most of the time) to see where I can fill gaps in terms of carbs, protein and fat.

Won't lie - I am scared of actually gaining some weight in order to get toned and healthy. When I am ~130, I feel fat. I know that is hard to understand. However, I am banking on the fact that maybe when I do gain weight, it won't look like just belly fat because it will be paired with exercising and resistance along with eating correctly. Is this true? Faith and positive thoughts…

After digging into this site and especially after reading Ladyhawk (and others who have posted here), the answer to my question is that yes, what I was doing is a big deal. I wasn't being fair to my body. I am really committing myself to eating like a healthy human being, exercising and strength training. I was just paid for a side job, so I am going to hire one of the gym's personal trainers for a few-session package where they can give me a few different routines to do on my own. In addition, I've been going to yoga and pilaties classes at the gym to switch it up. I'm still learning all the fitness terms, how they apply to me and how I can use them to help me with my goal. I've appreciated all of the links I've found, especially Stroutman's articles and advice I see scattered about here.

I also had a small victory for myself today when I not only brought in, but ate, a banana at my desk. I've brought in food before but never ended up eating it. Small steps I guess.

I'm sorry if I hijacked the thread… I just really wanted to thank Ladyhawk for writing what she did and the community (and MFP) as a whole. I hope to stay on this path and continue to move forward from now and for a very long time.

When I hit the Post Reply button I know that I can't (shouldn't) go back on what I just said... so here it goes...

ladyhawk00

I think this is me down to the bone and I am struggling with this new concept of eating more in order to be healthy and stay at a healthy weight.....in a healthy way. I joined this site in complete anonymity so I'm taking a deep breath while I stay true to myself and actually write this. It's always been in my head, but never talked about nor have I actually ever written something like this down for anyone to read.

I eat breakfast every day, and it has been the same thing for almost the past decade. I live on coffee at the office and never eat lunch there. I'll go out to eat with co-workers if they ask, and I have no issues eating in public restaurants. But I cannot bring myself to eat any food while i am in the office, whether at my desk or in the break room. Instead, I kept full with couple cups of coffee and tons of water throughout the day. I eat normal dinner with my partner at night and don't really snack at night. I'll get a little bit of a lag around 3pm, but hell I am leaving the office in about an hour, so no real big deal. I'll just push through. More water. I am not really a binge eater at all, either, mainly because I'm at the office all day and then after I come home and eat dinner I don't like to eat after 7pm. Don't like fast food (but we'll get it from time-to-time) and definitely don't drink pop. If you read my profile, you'll see that I am happy with a bland diet and have food allergies. I eat to live (though after learning what I have on this site, I'm sure that is not accurate at all…), not the other way around. This has been my way of life for the past decade. And just to say for the record, if we go over to a friends house, are at a party or any other normal social function I have no issues eating (what I can eat of course aside from the food allergies). Thinking about it, the food allergies has probably given me a lot of slack when it comes to what and how I eat food to other people.

Deep breath. I do believe that I have disordered eating. I've had a co-worker try to press a couple of times about not eating in the office but I shrug it off and say that I don't really get hungry because I drink so much coffee. Kinda true. My family isn't concerned (well sometimes they will comment that I'm looking pretty skinny) nor does it arise any questions by my partner. So there is no big deal in what I'm doing, right? I certainly don't want to talk about it in person, no matter who it is.

I didn't exercise at all, have a desk job and am moderately active on the weekends. I guess I really never thought it was much harm… I don't do a lot, so my body shouldn't need a lot of fuel as a result.

I tell this story in the present sense because I am still transitioning over the course of the past couple weeks. At the beginning of March, I started tracking what I ate (on a different site from MFP at first) and actually joined a gym, so I tracked what exercise I did. I switched to this website from the other one (FitClick if anyone cares) last week because I knew I would need a community, an outstanding one, in order to help me succeed. I find myself studying what I have input into my food journal for the day, and then studying it when I am hungry again (yes, eating when I am hungry most of the time) to see where I can fill gaps in terms of carbs, protein and fat.

Won't lie - I am scared of actually gaining some weight in order to get toned and healthy. When I am ~130, I feel fat. I know that is hard to understand. However, I am banking on the fact that maybe when I do gain weight, it won't look like just belly fat because it will be paired with exercising and resistance along with eating correctly. Is this true? Faith and positive thoughts…

After digging into this site and especially after reading Ladyhawk (and others who have posted here), the answer to my question is that yes, what I was doing is a big deal. I wasn't being fair to my body. I am really committing myself to eating like a healthy human being, exercising and strength training. I was just paid for a side job, so I am going to hire one of the gym's personal trainers for a few-session package where they can give me a few different routines to do on my own. In addition, I've been going to yoga and pilaties classes at the gym to switch it up. I'm still learning all the fitness terms, how they apply to me and how I can use them to help me with my goal. I've appreciated all of the links I've found, especially Stroutman's articles and advice I see scattered about here.

I also had a small victory for myself today when I not only brought in, but ate, a banana at my desk. I've brought in food before but never ended up eating it. Small steps I guess.

I'm sorry if I hijacked the thread… I just really wanted to thank Ladyhawk for writing what she did and the community (and MFP) as a whole. I hope to stay on this path and continue to move forward from now and for a very long time.

When I hit the Post Reply button I know that I can't (shouldn't) go back on what I just said... so here it goes...

Maryloo - I'm so glad you've typed this out. Putting it "on paper" does a lot for really looking closely at how we think about food and our health and how we're treating our bodies. That's a huge step and, while I know it's hard to do and makes you feel very vulnerable, it's important and you should be glad you've had the strength to do it.

Allergies will certainly make your eating habits more difficult to work with, but not impossible. Did you ever ask your allergist about any treatments that may be able to lessen the effects? I don't know a ton about it, but I do know that there are some things to try that can over time reduce your reactions to some things (ie exposure therapy and response suppressants).

You sound like you're getting the knowledge, and that's a big part of it. It will take time to apply it and figure out how to make it work for you to improve your health. It can be just as hard to change a habit of undereating as overeating. So be patient with yourself and just try to stay focused on healthy goals. You'll probably have setbacks and that's ok. Slowly but surely, as you feel better and notice the differences, it will be easier to manage the anxiety and unhealthy thought processes.

It's very sad for me to hear of others going through this - but your post made me smile because you've been brave enough to share it with us and open yourself up to improving your life. So thank you - I needed a smile tonight. Please feel free to contact me if I can help in any way. :flowerforyou:

maryloo2011

Maryloo - I'm so glad you've typed this out. Putting it "on paper" does a lot for really looking closely at how we think about food and our health and how we're treating our bodies. That's a huge step and, while I know it's hard to do and makes you feel very vulnerable, it's important and you should be glad you've had the strength to do it.

Allergies will certainly make your eating habits more difficult to work with, but not impossible. Did you ever ask your allergist about any treatments that may be able to lessen the effects? I don't know a ton about it, but I do know that there are some things to try that can over time reduce your reactions to some things (ie exposure therapy and response suppressants).

You sound like you're getting the knowledge, and that's a big part of it. It will take time to apply it and figure out how to make it work for you to improve your health. It can be just as hard to change a habit of undereating as overeating. So be patient with yourself and just try to stay focused on healthy goals. You'll probably have setbacks and that's ok. Slowly but surely, as you feel better and notice the differences, it will be easier to manage the anxiety and unhealthy thought processes.

It's very sad for me to hear of others going through this - but your post made me smile because you've been brave enough to share it with us and open yourself up to improving your life. So thank you - I needed a smile tonight. Please feel free to contact me if I can help in any way. :flowerforyou:

Thank you for the support... to answer your question about the food allergy, yes, we will start treating that in a few months. Because I have so many "inhalant" allergies we need to treat that first as I have so many environmental allergies. I am being treated for all my environmental allergies right now. After a few months from now, we can start treating for the food allergies. I believe it is because the environmental is so closely related to the food --- for instance, I am so allergic (registering 6 our of 6) to Birch trees - and Birch trees are closely related to x (insert fruit or veggie closely related to this tree species), they need to treat the root (ha) first. Bottom line: food allergies should be minimal in ~3-4 years. I'd love to bite into a raw apple!!

And thanks again for your support. I don't know that I would have posted what I did without your story.