Confession - Moralistic people please drop it...

sitstaygimmeeakiss

Bunny_Lexie, I read most of the responses here - have to say I agree that you know this is morally wrong & it will affect your eating. I won't go into that any more, as I think people here have it pretty well covered. I feel very, very strongly about violation of trust, cheating spouses, etc., but everyone else said their share, and I don't think it would help to add to it, only would end up bashing you, and that isn't productive.

Thing is - are you hearing what they are telling you, and ready to take action, or are you going to continue to be in denial about what you are doing, what he is doing?

I also agree that there is some self-esteem issue that is keeping you from walking away. Get counseling NOW, hon, and make sure it's with someone who is trained in some aspect that can help you take action, not just stare at your belly button for years & years.

I stuck with two different men, two different situations for too long. Fortunately (at least I don't believe) neither cheated on me - but both were wrong, very wrong - first was a marriage of 17 yrs. Granted I had four kids, but this guy was abusive and had mental issues. Finally found the strength to leave ONLY when he was hospitalized (psych unit) and was able to step back & recognize that I, too had a problem - and my children were in danger. Thing is, I thought I loved him so, so much - fairytale love. Wanted to do everything for him. Know what? I ended up doing just that - he never stopped demanding & ended up, after all the yrs, demeaning me so much... I also felt I had nowhere to turn.

My son once said something that was very wise. I can't remember his exact words, but basically it's that a woman abused is a woman exists with her brain imprisoned. I can't describe how bad my feeling of helplessness was - but it didn't just start with him. My upbringing, for whatever reason, led to this.

After I finally divorced, I established a second relationship that was not abusive, but it was wrong for me. He was a good guy, but so not for me on so many levels. Part of the reason I ended up w/him was security, but another was my poor self image. {So ironic - when I reread what I wrote, I had to edit. This started out as security for me - we lived together & I ended up supporting HIM for yrs, w/me on disability. He moved in with ME - I look back & remember how I didn't want him to move in, but I was headed for a serious operation, was in horrid pain & just did not know how to say "no"!! Talk about denial....]

I stayed with him for 10 yrs, but remained a friend & talked to him on the phone daily. Strangely enough both my ex's passed away last year. I miss him, even though our only communication for a few yrs was talking ton the phone.

I strongly encourage you to get help fast. You know what you are doing is wrong - and you CAN get out of this relationship.

Don't waste your years. I look back & realize how I wasted so many years - although my ex-boyfriend was really a good guy, I could have been with someone who was RIGHT for me, but I emotionally, psychologically I felt I couldn't get myself out of my mistake, and held on for 10 long years. (Believe me, they go by in an instant - I'm now 58. How many years could I have had with the RIGHT man?)

The years go, and you cannot get them back.

Get help now, please - you CAN walk away - SHOULD walk away - and if you think you can't, and don't want to start counseling right away (which I think would be a big mistake for YOU), then I suggest something: buy a plane ticket, go to where he lives. Find a way to accidentally meet his ex & just talk to her for a bit. No big deal. I can't see how you can continue to hurt her (for that is what you are doing, even if she is unaware) if you could see her face, know her as a person.

p.s. I would also have a Lorena Bobbit moment, I think, if anyone, husband or bf was cheating on me. Just sayin'

DustinReiner

Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for "FREE"?

If he lies to her, I bet he's lieing to you!

Interesting you’ve having troubles dealing with it, and you post it on here? This isn’t a social network, it’s a diet network. Obviously you’re looking for some for some acceptance in this situation. Most likely because you’re not finding it anywhere else.

I’m a single male in my 40’s I’ve always lived by the rule, “Don’t mess with another man’s woman!” That has served me well over the years. I’ve been tempted from time, to time but always thought of that rule I made 25 years ago.

It’s easier to “date” a married person, not much commitment involved and it’s kind of secretive and thrilling. But it will bite you in the end.

Karma, comes in many forms and BITES hard!
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I’m sure you don’t want to hear any of this, to bad then you shouldn’t of posted a social problem on a diet specific site. Deal with it!

Sunny_Lexie

Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for "FREE"?

If he lies to her, I bet he's lieing to you!

Interesting you’ve having troubles dealing with it, and you post it on here? This isn’t a social network, it’s a diet network. Obviously you’re looking for some for some acceptance in this situation. Most likely because you’re not finding it anywhere else.

I’m a single male in my 40’s I’ve always lived by the rule, “Don’t mess with another man’s woman!” That has served me well over the years. I’ve been tempted from time, to time but always thought of that rule I made 25 years ago.

It’s easier to “date” a married person, not much commitment involved and it’s kind of secretive and thrilling. But it will bite you in the end.

Karma, comes in many forms and BITES hard!
.
I’m sure you don’t want to hear any of this, to bad then you shouldn’t of posted a social problem on a diet specific site. Deal with it!

If you didn't understand that the topic in my post is related to my eating disorder coming back, read it again, Mr-No-Mistake...