Spare the rod and spoil the child?

quichebradford

As always there is a debate going on here at work…I love these people, how we get any work done is beyond me! Anywho, the question is, and this is for everyone, you don’t have to have kids to have an opinion:

Do you believe in spanking children, or do you think it teaches them that it’s ok to hit people and in turn makes them violent?

hstallings13

bump

JesaGrace

I was spanked during my childhood and so were my sisters......we're not violent and we don't hit people.......so it doesn't teach that...no....

ZebraHead

Yes/No *shrugs*

VeganGal84

I don't believe in spanking, but don't think it turns kids into violent people.

I was spanked a LOT as a kid, and it hurt so badly that I don't want to do that to any of my future hypothetical children. I'm actually a pacifist, so it may have had the opposite affect on me!

I don't think that a child can ever do anything bad enough to warrent physical abuse, which is what I consider spanking.

(no kids yet, just my opinion/belief)

kapeluza

Yes. Not violent spanking but a tap on the butt when behavior is out of control. I was spanked and I am a very peaceful/pacifist person.

SoldierDad

I believe there are times for physical punishment but i mainly make my son do pushups, jumping jacks & run in place when he has issues.

epj78

No kids and frankly, I go back and forth on the whole thing. I see arguments both ways and guess I won't know how I really think unless I have kids.

But, I was spanked as a child and it didn't make me violent or teach me it was ok to hit at all. That being said it was always a big deal to get spanked, it wasn't done on the fly. It was almost a ritual both proceeded and follow-uped with a "this is what you did, this why it was wrong, and there are consequences" type of speech.

springtrio

I absolutely DO NOT condone spanking. I believe in loving my children and punishing them through other means when they're disrespectful. To me, it just is not an option.

mrmanmeat

As always there is a debate going on here at work…I love these people, how we get any work done is beyond me! Anywho, the question is, and this is for everyone, you don’t have to have kids to have an opinion:

Do you believe in spanking children, or do you think it teaches them that it’s ok to hit people and in turn makes them violent?

I'm for it. It should happen more often. Course, you should also be able to discipline ignorant parents too.

If you do something wrong, you should be able to take the consequences.

NicolCook

Spanker and Spankee here. I don't think it causes violence. No it isn't always necessary for every situation, but can be affective..... IMO

JennsLosing

i was spanked when i acted crazy when i was a kid. i dont run around beating people up, and im not violent. my kids get a spanking when nothing else works.

angiemartin78

I have two children and they are very different from one another. My daughter (8yrs old) is good as gold and always has been. If I say don't, she doesn't. My son on the other hand is very head strong and defiant. I have tried swatting his bottom when he's really out of control, but all it does is make the situation worse. It's not that I disagree with a good spanking when it's needed, but I really believe that it depends on the child and the circumstances. I too often wonder what others think about this. Hope everyone has a beautiful day!

Qarol

I was spanked but in a violent, painful way. I think my father was a bit sadistic. Nothing scared me more than him saying, "go to your room and lean over the bed." I would have to wait there for him to come in, undo his leather belt, and whack me with it. It hurt like the ****ens. I don't think that was the right way to treat a child. I'm not saying that sometimes kids don't need to be whacked a bit on their bum to get them in line, but this way was wrong. I remember when I was 12, and my father told me I was now too old to be spanked. I went to my room and cried in private, I was so relieved.

My opinion is the spanking needs to occur immediately so the child can associate it and the bad behavior, and it mustn't be too hard. The idea is not to cause the child pain. It's too easy to let spanking turn into abuse.

Katefab26

I was spanked a lot as a child, and I KNOW my parents loved me (and still do), but at the same time, I just remember being so afraid to do anything because I didn't want to get spanked. My parents did an amazing job raising me, but I just don't think that it's healthy to tell someone (aka your child) how much you love them and then hit them when they do something that you perceive as wrong. Of course, I have no children, but when I do, I will do everything I can to avoid physical punishment.

TriumphNow

I believe there are times for physical punishment but i mainly make my son do pushups, jumping jacks & run in place when he has issues.

That's great...I might have to try those I do believe in spanking but not for everything. I don't believe it makes for violent kids / adults. Those that have issues with violence, usually had some extreme abuse as a child...not a smack on the butt.

wickedcricket

I think striking another person is demeaning (for both) and humiliating. It doesn't 'teach' anything except bigger ppl can get their way with violence.
I strongly disapprove of hitting children and animals. They are completely defenseless and WHAT can a child or dog do to deserve that? Now when my 18 mo old son was sticking his finger in an electrical socket, I did smack his hand - I felt terrible, but I figure it's better than him being electrocuted.
But no, I think hitting is wrong. period. it is never right. and people who hit eventually meet someone who can & will kick their *kitten*

macpatti

I have 5, ranging in ages 24-9. They've all been spanked when necessary. What I have learned, though, is different types of punishments work better for different kids. I do not think properly, appropriately spanking your child will make him/her violent. I think most kids need a good spanking!

rc630

I don't have kids, but I was spanked when I was a child and I think it was effective. Of course, it should not be hard enough to injure the child, just a momentary small amount of pain to associate with bad behavior.

bry_all01

I was spanked as a kid and I have a great deal of respect for my parents for it and do not go around bashing others heads in, even when I would like to do so. I rarely spank my own kids, I generally put them in time out for x amount of minutes, then once time is up, I make them explain to me why they were put in time out and then they know they need to apologize for what they've done. Not to say that they haven't occassionally received a swat, but time out works best for them.

VeganGal84

I was spanked but in a violent, painful way. I think my father was a bit sadistic. Nothing scared me more than him saying, "go to your room and lean over the bed." I would have to wait there for him to come in, undo his leather belt, and whack me with it. It hurt like the ****ens. I don't think that was the right way to treat a child. I'm not saying that sometimes kids don't need to be whacked a bit on their bum to get them in line, but this way was wrong. I remember when I was 12, and my father told me I was now too old to be spanked. I went to my room and cried in private, I was so relieved.

My opinion is the spanking needs to occur immediately so the child can associate it and the bad behavior, and it mustn't be too hard. The idea is not to cause the child pain. It's too easy to let spanking turn into abuse.

This is VERY simular to my situation. I'm sorry that you had to go through this!

macpatti

I think striking another person is demeaning (for both) and humiliating. It doesn't 'teach' anything except bigger ppl can get their way with violence.
I strongly disapprove of hitting children and animals. They are completely defenseless and WHAT can a child or dog do to deserve that? Now when my 18 mo old son was sticking his finger in an electrical socket, I did smack his hand - I felt terrible, but I figure it's better than him being electrocuted.
But no, I think hitting is wrong. period. it is never right. and people who hit eventually meet someone who can & will kick their *kitten*

I've spanked for the past 24 years, and I've never had my *kitten* kicked. Abuse is one thing. Properly, appropriately spanking can be a useful tool in raising children.

merrillfoster

Spank away! Just don't go overboard with it--it doesn't need to hurt much to be effective.

OnionCookie

Yes, but there's a fine fine line between spanking a child and beating one. I grew up having to go out and get a small 'switch" from a tiny bush and got a few whacks on the bottom. I think it did me some good.

I'm not Violent or traumatized at all from it. It's not a spanking if you end up like that.

Sometimes a time out (that's a joke as far as I'm concerned) doesn't work and neither does grounding.

PeachyKeene

I got my tail whipped on a regular bases, but I was never violent or felt like I wanted to hit others. I didn't spank my kids much when they were younger, mostly if there actions was going to cause harm to themselves. I tried my best to make the punishment fit the crime. If I did spank them, I would make them wait first. I would tell them, you are getting a spanking for what you have done, go sit in your room and think about what you have done. I will be in there in a little bit. They would cry more waiting on it, then when I did it. I would talk to them after they calm down and they would say they wish they had never done it. I rarely had to spank for the same reason more than once.

statia152

Different children need different punishments. A spanking for me was no big deal, but OMG to send me to my room was the end of the word. My sister was the exact opposite! I think it is ok as long as it is ONE form of punishment, not a sole source of punishment. Besides, there is a difference between a spanking and a beating. One is for the child's benefit, the other is for the parent's frustration.

27strange

Thanks mom and dad for spanking me when I needed it. I wouldn't be the hard-working/driven/independent/intellectual person I strive to be today without the discipline you gave to me when needed. Spanking, not out of anger/frustration, but rather spanking out of love/commitment/encouragement/betterment. Yes, there is a difference. Spanking was harder on my parents then on me receiving it, a life lesson always was learned with it.

chrissym78

I have 3 wonderful, well-behaved, respectful, not afraid of me children. Yes, I have spanked all 3 of them, so has my husband. It breaks my heart but they have to know consequences and punishments. None of them have ever been violent with anyone. They have also been in church since they were born so spanking is only part of them being taught right from wrong.

That being said, I know some people who take it too far. Spanking should not involve bruises just the same as verbal reprimand should not involve belittleing. Kids learn what they live. It's all what you make of it.

Amysgetnfit

I had my fair share growing up & my siblings share too... ( I was an only child) I dont run around hitting people.
I believe in it Occasionally, but with my child its progressive & depends on the crime committed..
sometimes he gets time out, sometimes its no toys, no fun stuff, sometimes its go walk laps in the yard, or jog laps, sometimes its a swat on the butt.
I think as long as you are fair & not cruel & explain why they are being punished it sets boundaries & teaches respect.
YOU CANT WAIT TILL YOUR CHILD IS A TEENAGER & OUT OF CONTROL
Small corrections when they are small & learn boundaries is better than the alternative

Just my opinion, everyones got one & you know how that saying goes

auntsteffy

I was spanked as a child & it didn't warp me, cause me to be violent, or damage me. It taught me that there were consequences to wrong doing, it taught me respect & gave me boundaries.. I feel that is something that is lacking in todays soceity that teaches against spanking. I say Yes to the proper discipline & No to it causing violence, when done right. Mama always taught consistency & balance.. she loved us like crazy & because she loved us, she disciplined us. That's my looong opinion

JNick77

Do you believe in spanking children, or do you think it teaches them that it’s ok to hit people and in turn makes them violent?

Within reason I do. If they spill milk or somethign stupid then no. When I think about people that are so anti-spanking and let's "talk" and negotiate about everything I look back at history and how things have changed so much. In general, kids seem to be pretty out of control and they have very little respect for anybody or anything. When I was a kid I spoke to my friends parents and other adults as Mr. so-and-so, Ms/Mrs. so-and-so. I would never dream cus at another adult or disrepsect them because I knew my dad would kick my butt. Plus, it seems that kids have a very big sense of entitlement anymore. They expect everything be given to them, expensive clothes, phones, cars, etc. I didn't want for anything as a kid but I damn sure appreciated everything I got because I earned it in one way or another. Additionally to the total lack of respect you have kids bringing weapons to school and hurting each other, killing each other, kids doing things that get them charged as adults. Sure we had gangs and stuff growing up but I kind of see that as a different issue than your regular suburban upper-middle class teenager coming in a popping other kids at random. It's just so different and I'm glad my step-son is almost out of high school; I feel for anybody that has younger kids.

There's a time to talk and negotiate and then there's a time where kids need to know who's boss and what they're going to do, how they're going to do it, and when they're going to do it and what are the consequences of not doing it. Most things should be earned in some manner be it grades, chores at home, attitude / respect, etc. We did family counseling with my other step-son and both counselors said basically we have to give kids love, basic food, basic clothing, and an education, past that everything is a bonus and should be earned.