Free Therapy: Another Open Letter!

mommared53

Dear Son,

PUT THE TOILET SEAT DOWN!!! You were raised by a woman so after all this time I know you're capable of remembering to put it down. Don't give me that "I'm a guy, I can't help it" crap. When I start nagging at you for not putting it down, don't complain about my nagging because I'll say, "I'm a woman, I can't help it". :smooched:

Signed,
Your loving Mom

Shannon023

Dear Door,

Please open.

Love,
Smushed in the Face


Dear Cat Collar,

Please don't lay in the middle of the hallway.

Love,
Bleeding Profusely from Foot


Dear Pet Control,

I think my cat is trying to kill me. Please take her away.

Love,
Bleeding Profusely from Foot

:laugh: :laugh:

evolve33

dear nana,
omg thats terrible what happened to your daughter i'd like to punch that insurance company right in the nose and make them drive 50 miles for x-rays!
:mad:

tabchanges

Dear Mom,

Yes I recently made the decision to try being a vegetarian. No, this does not concern you, concidering I live on my own. Yes I know you don't agree with my choice, but I did the research on the subject, and I am confident on my decision. Don't talk to me like I made a stupid choice, and don't tell me I could never really do it and I wouldn't last more than a day. I've lasted 2 and a half weeks and I'm doing great.

Let me be my own person!

Sincerly,
Irritated Vegetarian

lynniejones

Dear Mom,

Yes I recently made the decision to try being a vegetarian. No, this does not concern you, concidering I live on my own. Yes I know you don't agree with my choice, but I did the research on the subject, and I am confident on my decision. Don't talk to me like I made a stupid choice, and don't tell me I could never really do it and I wouldn't last more than a day. I've lasted 2 and a half weeks and I'm doing great.

Let me be my own person!

Sincerly,
Irritated Vegetarian

Wait til you shyly start to let other people know, they look at you like you are a nutjob. ( I don't mean crowing it out, but if they are like hey there is a steakhouse let's go, and you are like no thanks..you get the look) I admire you, I cannot get myself to the full level yet. I've given up beef, pork, and anything but the smallest pieces of chicken breast. Seafood and all dairy except milk are my two things I'm having a hard time giving up. I love sashimi!

sweetassurance

Dear husband, I wish you would just make up your mind. I am tired of trying to please you and make this marriage work. Marriage was designed for two and apparently you did not read the contract when you said I do. Stop saying you love me when your out their dating every one else. If you have found some one new then stop hanging on to me!!! I already told you that you may leave if you please. Why are you still here!

I think I have paid off my debt by now for fixing my eyes on you. Have not I been good to you, pleasing you, and serving you faithfully for 14 years? I too deserve an opportunity to be happy and if you have found your happiness with some one else then set me free! My future new husband will thank you one Day for this.

Your overwhelmed wife...

1Corinthians13

Dear husband, I wish you would just make up your mind. I am tired of trying to please you and make this marriage work. Marriage was designed for two and apparently you did not read the contract when you said I do. Stop saying you love me when your out their dating every one else. If you have found some one new then stop hanging on to me!!! I already told you that you may leave if you please. Why are you still here!

I think I have paid off my debt by now for fixing my eyes on you. Have not I been good to you, pleasing you, and serving you faithfully for 14 years? I too deserve an opportunity to be happy and if you have found your happiness with some one else then set me free! My future new husband will thank you one Day for this.

Your overwhelmed wife...

I am so feeling this one. I'm so sorry.

1Corinthians13

Dear Man not worth my time...or the title of "man"

Why can't you just let me go? I didn't want this to get nasty. I really didn't. All I wanted was a bit of financial support and no part of the financial mistakes you made with the house and credit cards that were all in your name. I can't even begin to mourn the mockery you made of our vows because you're dragging this thing out. Is it just so that I'll spend more of my mother's money on an attorney? Is it because you think I'm too scared and will back down?

I've got news for you. I'm not who I used to be. The fact that you've torn me apart has only forced me to rebuild myself even stronger. So look out. I'm not backing down. You wanted a war, you've got one now. And I promise you it's not one you'll win.

Sincerely,
New and Improved

MyaPapaya75

Dear New Foods,

Well now that we have met I hope that you continue to be a lasting part of my life..Ive never met anything that gives me so much energy and makes me feel all full inside!. In the past I have tried new things but I always fell back into old habits *darn those doritoz* but this time I think I would like to keep you around Mr.Soy crisps and Mrs.veggie sticks....Mrs.Fage You really amaze me and you go great with just about anything.....but Hummus and Spinach you rock my socks!! hehe...so everytime I walk into the grocery store just say "yoohoo" and I will be coming your way.

Your Truly
Satisfied

Phoenix_Rising

Dear Man not worth my time...or the title of "man"

Why can't you just let me go? I didn't want this to get nasty. I really didn't. All I wanted was a bit of financial support and no part of the financial mistakes you made with the house and credit cards that were all in your name. I can't even begin to mourn the mockery you made of our vows because you're dragging this thing out. Is it just so that I'll spend more of my mother's money on an attorney? Is it because you think I'm too scared and will back down?

I've got news for you. I'm not who I used to be. The fact that you've torn me apart has only forced me to rebuild myself even stronger. So look out. I'm not backing down. You wanted a war, you've got one now. And I promise you it's not one you'll win.

Sincerely,
New and Improved

A-men!
Get him girl!!!

TROUBLE2

Dear Man not worth my time...or the title of "man"

Why can't you just let me go? I didn't want this to get nasty. I really didn't. All I wanted was a bit of financial support and no part of the financial mistakes you made with the house and credit cards that were all in your name. I can't even begin to mourn the mockery you made of our vows because you're dragging this thing out. Is it just so that I'll spend more of my mother's money on an attorney? Is it because you think I'm too scared and will back down?

I've got news for you. I'm not who I used to be. The fact that you've torn me apart has only forced me to rebuild myself even stronger. So look out. I'm not backing down. You wanted a war, you've got one now. And I promise you it's not one you'll win.

Sincerely,
New and Improved

A-men!
Get him girl!!!

girl power!!!:drinker:

CassieNic

dear lawn mower.

i hate your face. you pick NOW to break? did you not see that yard? why did you wait for me to lug you out of the garage? which wasnt easy, you know how DH keeps that messy. i now understand why that man shot his lawn mower up with a shot gun....dont tempt me. i know where DH keeps his ammo.

:grumble:

mnichol

That's hysterical!!!!!!!:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: (the dancing cow)

mnichol

I'll give it a go...

dear daughters of my BF,

please tell me when your going to move out!!!! your 24 and 21 respectivefully, don't you want to be independent!! i'm tired of cleaning up after you!!!

sincerely,

the house *****

TudorRose

Dear Dissertation;
Seriously, you won't write yourself? Meanie.
From Deeply Confused English Student Writing About History In Literature

Dear Dissertation Markers;
I'm sure you agree I deserve a First just for being able to pronounce my title without flaws, even when saying it really fast (Fictionalisations of Illicit Liaisons Within the Tudor Court).
Sincerely,
I'm So Screwed If You Don't

Dear Self;
That'll teach you to pick an obscure topic for your Dissertation.
From Me/You

Dear Birthday;
Stop screwing up already, else I'll cancel you.
From Not Wanting To Be 20 Forever

flcaoh

Dear Professor of the Class I Could Care Less About,

You're teaching a class that is part of the 'General Education Curriculum'. Meaning I am FORCED to take a class in a subject I could care less about that has nothing to do with my major. Okay okay, I get it...you LOVE geography and it is your passion... it is not mine. Please don't give me ~100 pages a night to read when you know I have 3 other classes and 4 exams coming up within the next week.

Sincerely,
Your burnt out student.



AND...



Dear ex boyfriend,

I'm happy for you that you found someone else to make you happy. However, the fact that she is barely legal and you are pushing 30 irks me... please stop talking about her when we see each other. It's creepy and awkward.

Thanks!
Your ex.



AND.... last one....


Dear cute tall guy I work with,

When you FINALLY came over to talk to me today I'm sorry if I seemed short and unfriendly. I was crazy busy and you couldn't of come to talk to me at a worse time. That being said, you are cute and seem nice and if I were currently a wee less bitter regarding men, I would probably be super flirty and friendly... but men aren't particularly my favorite creatures at the moment :grumble: ... so, I hope you understand

Thanks,
The bitter busy data entry girl.

cmriverside

:laugh: :laugh:

Dear Professor of the Class I Could Care Less About,

You're teaching a class that is part of the 'General Education Curriculum'. Meaning I am FORCED to take a class in a subject I could care less about that has nothing to do with my major. Okay okay, I get it...you LOVE geography and it is your passion... it is not mine. Please don't give me ~100 pages a night to read when you know I have 3 other classes and 4 exams coming up within the next week.

Sincerely,
Your burnt out student.

Dear All Geography Professors In The World,

Most of your bored-to-tears students stare at the clock for 55 minutes fruitlessly willing the minute hand to move faster. There are ways to make Geography interesting. Tie it in to current events. Most people graduate from college and cannot tell you where Washington D.C. is, let alone Iraq.

Here's a thought. Teach "How to balance a checking account" - it is much more useful.

Tie this lesson into "Where all your money is going - out of the checking account and directly to Iraq via Washington D.C."

TA - DA. Suddenly we are paying attention.

Sincerely,
55, 54, 53, 52, 51, 50, 49 etcetera, minutes to go in your stupid class.:grumble:

stillkristi

Dear Dave198

Forgive, forget, be kind or I shall unleash the wrath of Fluffy.

This is Fluffy:


Kristi (not to be confused with the Creator, but I was passing by and agreed to drop this letter off!)

lynniejones

Dear Spring,

I've missed you so much and I am very thankful to see you! You've showed up just in time. I was so tired of winter and you've chased those blues away. Way to go, spring!

jackeh

Dear husband, I wish you would just make up your mind. I am tired of trying to please you and make this marriage work. Marriage was designed for two and apparently you did not read the contract when you said I do. Stop saying you love me when your out their dating every one else. If you have found some one new then stop hanging on to me!!! I already told you that you may leave if you please. Why are you still here!

I think I have paid off my debt by now for fixing my eyes on you. Have not I been good to you, pleasing you, and serving you faithfully for 14 years? I too deserve an opportunity to be happy and if you have found your happiness with some one else then set me free! My future new husband will thank you one Day for this.

Your overwhelmed wife...

dear sweetassurance
The only person who can set you free is yourself.... use your power and strength to do what is best for YOU... give yourself permission to move forward instead of holding on to the things that are bringing you down
I feel your pain...
jackie