Strip clubs for married men?

tnic86

Not for MY husband or for ME. He thinks it is trashy anyhoo...as do I. Thankfully we are on the same page.

Agreed!

SarabellPlus3

I think it's okay on certain occasions like a bachelor party, but no lap dances. If you wouldn't be okay with me giving some other guy a lap dance, then you sure as hell better not be accepting one from another woman.

It's not about trust for me. I agree with the others who said that strippers aren't the ones you have to worry about when it comes to your husband cheating on you. I would just be concerned if my husband regularly felt the need to unwind by watching other women dance around naked (or close to it). I don't think being married means you stop having "fun." I just think it means you stop having "fun" with other women. Get what you need from your wife. If she's not into it, then I guess you married the wrong person. Sucks for you.

On a side note, this reminds me of the discussions on here from time to time about how women don't understand that if they'd just make their husbands feel appreciated, then their husbands would do anything to make them happy. Well, men, if you make your
woman feel as sexy as you think she is, she'll do anything you want her to do in the bedroom (or the kitchen or the shower or wherever).

I don't even need to type, you said it all! I think it totally depends on the couple, but this is how I look at it.

I don't have a problem with strippers themselves at all, in college when I still felt like I had to impress men in a certain way, I also went to a strip club or two, and I'm just not there anymore in my life. Nothing against the girls themselves, they're just making a (sometimes great!) living.

I trust my husband to not have sex with someone else, I don't think that's what it's about for most women. I just would think we'd have a problem if our sexual needs weren't being met in the bedroom (or car, or kitchen, or whathaveyou lol) and he needed to go to other people and pay them to simulate.

Eta: though looking back through the verbiage in the past of the thread... Lol I don't have a typed up RULE book he has to follow. It's never really come up. He goes to a bachelor party every year or two, and I think of that as just a silly cultural thing, & it doesn't really bother me. He hangs out with his buddies for pool and golf, etc. I don't "forbid" it, I just would feel like we were lacking something if he needed to pay other girls to get nakey, don't know how else to say that!

AshjMusik

So I forwarded the link to this thread to my newlywed friend I mentioned hoping this would give her better perspective of the situation (thank u all for ur honesty, very interesting stuff here lol). Since that night she's barely spoken to me & I'm hoping her man didn't get pissed thinking I'm sabotaging his fun or brainwashing his wife or something. After their fight (which is what prompted me posting the topic for help) he supposedly asked them to keep it at a strip club, but I believe there's only 1 other married guy thats gonna be there so I don't know how that went down.

Well the bachelor party is this Saturday night, & as far as I know the plan is still to end up with strippers at a hotel room. She wants to have a girls night at her house to take her mind off things.. Here's to hoping there's no drama!

Iamfit4life

If I'm being honest, I don't like the idea.

A married man should be able to go out and "look"and have fun. But having been at one of those places with my ex husband while we were married...

I'd respectfully ask him not to take part in such things.

TheRoadDog

There is no answer. Depends on the couple. What's good for me and my wife in our relationship, may not apply in another relationship.

I'm a biker. I ride with a group of guys that sometimes frequents strip clubs. I don't cheat on my wife and I can say, unequivically that my buddy Donnie and a couple others definitely do not cheat on their wives. There are a couple that do though. But...they would cheat if they found a willing partner at Baskin Robbins.

My wife does not mind. I do not make it a secret. If I asked my wife to jump up on the coffee table and start dancing, she wouldn't hesitate. And, by the way, has. On several occassions.

A cheater is going to cheat. I have not cheated on my wife since I met her 23 years ago and I don't intend to. If she asked me to stay out of clubs, I would. But she never will, just as I will never place restrictions on her. We are together, because we want to be, not because it is financially prudent. Trust has to be complete in a relationship.

I love beautiful, confident, sexy women. I married one. She don't mind if I slip a worn dollar bill in the panties of another sexy woman.

BeeElMarvin

There is no answer. Depends on the couple. What's good for me and my wife in our relationship, may not apply in another relationship.

I'm a biker. I ride with a group of guys that sometimes frequents strip clubs. I don't cheat on my wife and I can say, unequivically that my buddy Donnie and a couple others definitely do not cheat on their wives. There are a couple that do though. But...they would cheat if they found a willing partner at Baskin Robbins.

My wife does not mind. I do not make it a secret. If I asked my wife to jump up on the coffee table and start dancing, she wouldn't hesitate. And, by the way, has. On several occassions.

A cheater is going to cheat. I have not cheated on my wife since I met her 23 years ago and I don't intend to. If she asked me to stay out of clubs, I would. But she never will, just as I will never place restrictions on her. We are together, because we want to be, not because it is financially prudent. Trust has to be complete in a relationship.

I love beautiful, confident, sexy women. I married one. She don't mind if I slip a worn dollar bill in the panties of another sexy woman.

Well said RD. I tend to run with a few "unsavory characters", they are my bros and I love 'em. What they decide to do in their relationships has nothing to do with my choice to be with my wife. My wife doesn't mind if I come home "ready to roll", and she has gone with me a few times to clubs, it's alot of fun for both of us.

mrandolph69

Absolutely, positively, not okay. It is disrespectful (to the wife) and wrong.

Iamfit4life

There is no answer. Depends on the couple. What's good for me and my wife in our relationship, may not apply in another relationship.

I'm a biker. I ride with a group of guys that sometimes frequents strip clubs. I don't cheat on my wife and I can say, unequivically that my buddy Donnie and a couple others definitely do not cheat on their wives. There are a couple that do though. But...they would cheat if they found a willing partner at Baskin Robbins.

My wife does not mind. I do not make it a secret. If I asked my wife to jump up on the coffee table and start dancing, she wouldn't hesitate. And, by the way, has. On several occassions.

A cheater is going to cheat. I have not cheated on my wife since I met her 23 years ago and I don't intend to. If she asked me to stay out of clubs, I would. But she never will, just as I will never place restrictions on her. We are together, because we want to be, not because it is financially prudent. Trust has to be complete in a relationship.

I love beautiful, confident, sexy women. I married one. She don't mind if I slip a worn dollar bill in the panties of another sexy woman.

Well said RD. I tend to run with a few "unsavory characters", they are my bros and I love 'em. What they decide to do in their relationships has nothing to do with my choice to be with my wife. My wife doesn't mind if I come home "ready to roll", and she has gone with me a few times to clubs, it's alot of fun for both of us.

That's probably because you are a good dude.
The things my ex did when we went, I doubt I can get on board with the whole strip club thing anymore.
As much as i want to be the cool, fun wife/GF that doesn't care...
I've seen too much blatant disrespect right to my face about those places.

livnlite

There is no answer. Depends on the couple. What's good for me and my wife in our relationship, may not apply in another relationship.

I'm a biker. I ride with a group of guys that sometimes frequents strip clubs. I don't cheat on my wife and I can say, unequivically that my buddy Donnie and a couple others definitely do not cheat on their wives. There are a couple that do though. But...they would cheat if they found a willing partner at Baskin Robbins.

My wife does not mind. I do not make it a secret. If I asked my wife to jump up on the coffee table and start dancing, she wouldn't hesitate. And, by the way, has. On several occassions.

A cheater is going to cheat. I have not cheated on my wife since I met her 23 years ago and I don't intend to. If she asked me to stay out of clubs, I would. But she never will, just as I will never place restrictions on her. We are together, because we want to be, not because it is financially prudent. Trust has to be complete in a relationship.

I love beautiful, confident, sexy women. I married one. She don't mind if I slip a worn dollar bill in the panties of another sexy woman.

That pretty much sums up the relationship I have with my hubby too. I simply refuse to be one of those wives who feel the need to control. I never make it difficult for him to be honest with me. Sure, he on rare occasions may visit a strip club with 'the guys', but it just simply doesn't bother me. THAT's not where guys go to cheat.

Funny story .. On one of our road trips with other couples (we are bikers too), the guys decided to go for a few beers to the strip club down the street from our hotel. They were talking in amongst themselves and evidently not paying enough attention to the 'lady' on stage because they were promptly interrupted with a flying 6" high heeled shoe that landed on their table spilling their drinks. They sure had a chuckle about THAT experience.

If and when my hubby goes to a club, I do not find it disrespectful at all. What I would find disrespectful would be if he tried to hide it or lied about about. Then, Houston .. We have a problem!

MFPAddict

Funny story .. On one of our road trips with other couples (we are bikers too), the guys decided to go for a few beers to the strip club down the street from our hotel. They were talking in amongst themselves and evidently not paying enough attention to the 'lady' on stage because they were promptly interrupted with a flying 6" highled heel shoe that landing on their table spilling their drinks. They sure had a chuckle about THAT experience.

:laugh:

I have never had a shoe thrown at me at a strip club, but have had some strippers get pissed off for that same reason. A stripper that gives me attitude for having a conversation with my friends is guaranteed to receive $0 in tips from me.

aprilbriann

If their prioritys are in order they will NOT want to be anywhere near a strip club. I 100% disagree with anyone participating in them married or not. That stuff is not for everyones eyes... cover yourself up!

iNkedFiTmama

We go together .. neither of us have been without the other. It can be a fun night out sometimes.

mmmichelle8486

If their prioritys are in order they will NOT want to be anywhere near a strip club. I 100% disagree with anyone participating in them married or not. That stuff is not for everyones eyes... cover yourself up!

Thank you.

I remember having an argument with my husband when we were dating because I made a comment about strip clubs. Not that he was a big supporter, he just didn't see the big deal.

A week later he was invited to a friends birthday and when the phone call came in, he said "why do I need to go to a club? Look what I have here" and he hung up.

That was the last strip club discussion we had in our 4 years together.... he doesn't go to bars, clubs, anything....

He's a husband and a dad, those are his main priorities... and for fun he works on cars or goes to tracks with the guys... no need to be watching naked women parade around... and when I go out I give him the same respect.

TheRoadDog

My strip club story--
Couple years ago, went to a club here in town with my Brother in Law. The Acropolis. Well established. Not too seedy. Fun. We sat down at the stage. I had a wad of ones. I'm pretty friendly. When I say friendly, I mean I don't make lewd comments of proposition the dancers. And I ALWAYS tip. My brother in klaw, Tom, thinks he's a ladie's man. So...there's a very pretty, voluptuous, blonde dancing in front of us. Older. She is on her third song and down to her panties. On either side of her panties, there is a small ornamental lock. Show only. Tom says something and the gal leans in towards him. He repeats himself. Leering, he says: "I wish I had the key to those locks." She ignores him, strips the panties off, leans over to me, takes my hand and places her wadded up panties in my hand. Then leans in real close and says: "YOU wouldn't need a key." Lips right against my ear. Very sexy. Sent shivers up my spine Pissed off Tom

Anyways, finishes her set and leaves the stage. I still have her panties.

Another girl comes on. After a couple songs the original gal comes out, sits next to me, introduces herself and buys me a drink. Tom is seething, cuz, he's the ladies man, not me. We have a drink, chat through a couple songs and she gets up to leave. As she gets up, I reach out to hand her her panties. She leans into my ear and says, "You keep those. They're for you." And smiles. I whisper, hoarsely, "I don't think my wife will let me keep them." She makes a pouty face, takes the panties back, gives me a kiss on the top of my head and walks out the front door, smiling.

Tom couldn't imagine a world where he was rebuffed and I was complimented. He eventually divorced my sister, but I love telling that story.

Goal_Seeker_1988

Absolutely not ok, unless of course BOTH people think its ok. It's all about respect, and if you go to a strip club to watch some other woman dance nude, then you aren't respecting your partner.

^^LOVE THIS^^ Couldn't have said it better myself!

VeganGal84

My opinion is that if it's once-in-awhile-special-occassion and there are NO lap dances or touching involved... still not okay :laugh:

edited to add: This is how I feel in MY relationship. I really don't care what anyone else thinks, and belive that every relationship is different and some couples are fine with strip clubs. I'm not one of them.

_Timmeh_

Absolutely nothing wrong with them at all, hell it might just spice things up a bit.
You can shop, just but can't buy.

Punkedpoetess

As long as no touching is involved and both parties know about it and approve, it is fine. Personally I would let my husband go if he wanted to as long as he is honest with me. Fortunately for me, he doesn't want to and would rather have me! :blushing:

livnlite

If their prioritys are in order they will NOT want to be anywhere near a strip club. I 100% disagree with anyone participating in them married or not. That stuff is not for everyones eyes... cover yourself up!

Thank you.

I remember having an argument with my husband when we were dating because I made a comment about strip clubs. Not that he was a big supporter, he just didn't see the big deal.

A week later he was invited to a friends birthday and when the phone call came in, he said "why do I need to go to a club? Look what I have here" and he hung up.

That was the last strip club discussion we had in our 4 years together.... he doesn't go to bars, clubs, anything....

He's a husband and a dad, those are his main priorities... and for fun he works on cars or goes to tracks with the guys... no need to be watching naked women parade around... and when I go out I give him the same respect.

Choosing to not go to clubs OR bars at all, for the same reasons, is logical and consistent. It's a choice, a perfectly good choice.

I can even understand the philosophy of why wives don't care to have their men watch nekid women .. even though THAT is a place to only watch .. CAN"T touch. Those women maybe feel that just their SO's presence in a place like that is a reflection on thier relationship, and/or they have some trust issues.

What I don't understand is why they don't have a problem with their men going to a regular bar .. where "touching", "carousing' and down right 'hunting" is common place (Considering, there are still some trust issues).

I am of the opinion, that it shouldn't matter where they want to go on a rare occasion. A man should be able to be trusted under ANY circumstance and in ANY environment. .. same goes for a women being trusted. Either you are trustworthy, or you are not.

mandeiko

I see this thread is back :huh:

Sublimely_Self_Righteousreused

My wife can care less if I go to one and get lap dances. She knows I'm not going to do anything, and that the stripper is just nice for my money. No biggie.

dckim

as a dude, i think married man going to strip club is ok just to look, but lap dance is a no no.

ps, cuz lap dances can lead to other stuff - aka happy ending, rub and tug, bj, etc.

FelizMi

It's ok if you look and don't touch, or get touched, and you better not give any of them any of OUR money! Unless I'm there with you, lol!

infamousmk

Without reading all of the responses, I just want to say this:

People like to look at other people. Just because you're married doesn't mean you're dead. And lap dances are awesome. It's not like a guy can touch a woman (usually... and really, if he's touching a stripper, it's not about the club, it's about the guy) .. and who doesn't want to have a sexy person grinding on them?? It's all in good fun, IMO.

I love going to the strip club with my boyfriend. Everyone loves boobies, and it's a little wild and a little dirty, and it always ends up in really awesome adult time when we get home.

ThePhoenixRose

He can go whenever he wants, just so long as it's not taking away from time with me. We go together sometimes, i LOVE that! He's welcome to get lap dances as well. My theory on it - it makes my life so much easier! he goes there, gets all worked up, comes home, and i reap the benefits! what's not to love?! is he picturing it's them he's doing, when it's really me? i don't freaking care! i'm the only one he's doing FOR REAL, so that's what matters to me! plus, i get all worked up when we go. they're beautiful sexual women. again, what's not to love?!?!?!

ninerbuff

IMO many females feel insecure about their bodies and for their man to go watch a stripper with a great body (don't see too many out of shape one's unless the club really is of low low standard) doesn't help to make them feel any better.
When I go, it's usually with my BIL's, my cousins,my FIL and my uncles as a group and we all really just have a good time BSing. Yeah we look at the girls and might throw a couple of dollars their way, but more than anything it's mostly just a guys night out.
We aren't looking to "hook up" or "have a one nighter". That's what clubs are for..........................I kid.

SarabellPlus3

What I don't understand is why they don't have a problem with their men going to a regular bar .. where "touching", "carousing' and down right 'hunting" is common place (Considering, there are still some trust issues).

I am of the opinion, that it shouldn't matter where they want to go on a rare occasion. A man should be able to be trusted under ANY circumstance and in ANY environment. .. same goes for a women being trusted. Either you are trustworthy, or you are not.

I guess to answer that question (& first, I don't have a RULEBOOK for my husband, or anything, I just would be surprised and yes, hurt, if he felt he had the need to pay other people to get naked for him-- because I think our sex life is way fullfilling, I guess LOL), I don't have a problem with him going to the trivia bar, pool club, etc, to hang out with his friends (& he does do that once a week-- as do I have dinner or drinks with girlfriends) is kind of misleading. LOL I'm not thinking my husband is going to have sex with a stripper-- that's not why I don't like the idea of it. I trust him to not sleep with someone else. People keep explaining that strippers aren't going to sleep with him, so wives shouldn't be bothered, but the stripper's motivation has nothing to do with my opinions (& I wish her the best). KWIM? If he was going to pay other women to take their clothes off and my only reassurance was that THEY weren't willing to have sex with him anyway, well, that's cold comfort. LOL Meaning, what? He'd do it, but she won't let him, so he's forced to come home to me, no thanks. So that argument isn't really in the equation for me.

I honestly just would feel like I was doing something wrong if our bedroom antics weren't doing the job for him, and he had to pay someone else to get naked and turn him on, even if after needing that, I was the one he came home, closed his eyes, and had sex with. I like to think we have a fun time at that together. LOL

So that's just my thought process. I don't have anything against strippers as people, when I was younger I went to strip clubs with boyfriends to make sure they knew I was cool (rolleyes), I'm just not in that place anymore. I have no problem with other couples feeling completely different than I do, but for me and my DH? I want our in-person sexy business to pretty much be with each other. He does, too, so it's not been an issue, but that's my thought.

livnlite

What I don't understand is why they don't have a problem with their men going to a regular bar .. where "touching", "carousing' and down right 'hunting" is common place (Considering, there are still some trust issues).

I am of the opinion, that it shouldn't matter where they want to go on a rare occasion. A man should be able to be trusted under ANY circumstance and in ANY environment. .. same goes for a women being trusted. Either you are trustworthy, or you are not.

I guess to answer that question (& first, I don't have a RULEBOOK for my husband, or anything, I just would be surprised and yes, hurt, if he felt he had the need to pay other people to get naked for him-- because I think our sex life is way fullfilling, I guess LOL), I don't have a problem with him going to the trivia bar, pool club, etc, to hang out with his friends (& he does do that once a week-- as do I have dinner or drinks with girlfriends) is kind of misleading. LOL I'm not thinking my husband is going to have sex with a stripper-- that's not why I don't like the idea of it. I trust him to not sleep with someone else. People keep explaining that strippers aren't going to sleep with him, so wives shouldn't be bothered, but the stripper's motivation has nothing to do with my opinions (& I wish her the best). KWIM? If he was going to pay other women to take their clothes off and my only reassurance was that THEY weren't willing to have sex with him anyway, well, that's cold comfort. LOL Meaning, what? He'd do it, but she won't let him, so he's forced to come home to me, no thanks. So that argument isn't really in the equation for me.

I honestly just would feel like I was doing something wrong if our bedroom antics weren't doing the job for him, and he had to pay someone else to get naked and turn him on, even if after needing that, I was the one he came home, closed his eyes, and had sex with. I like to think we have a fun time at that together. LOL

So that's just my thought process. I don't have anything against strippers as people, when I was younger I went to strip clubs with boyfriends to make sure they knew I was cool (rolleyes), I'm just not in that place anymore. I have no problem with other couples feeling completely different than I do, but for me and my DH? I want our in-person sexy business to pretty much be with each other. He does, too, so it's not been an issue, but that's my thought.

I understand what you are saying .. I can accept and appreciate that. I think you are saying there is a difference between a bar and a strip club. That's where we differ. I think there is not...Not when it comes to temptations. There are temptations EVERYWHERE...Literally. I don't think it matters where they go.

We are not talking about JUST men who go to strip clubs to pay for the show on perv row .. we are talking about men who want to hang with their buddies, have a few beers and laughs. They are not there JUST to have someone strip for them. In fact the 'stripping' is 2ndary to the camaraderie of the buddies. It has little to do with a creepy sexual desire or void.

albinogorilla

If your husband says he doesn't like looking at other women naked, he is either a homosexual, or a liar, which would you rather be married to ladies? Guys that can't admit to their wives that they find other women attractive are the first ones to cheat...............food for thought...............

SarabellPlus3

What I don't understand is why they don't have a problem with their men going to a regular bar .. where "touching", "carousing' and down right 'hunting" is common place (Considering, there are still some trust issues).

I am of the opinion, that it shouldn't matter where they want to go on a rare occasion. A man should be able to be trusted under ANY circumstance and in ANY environment. .. same goes for a women being trusted. Either you are trustworthy, or you are not.

I guess to answer that question (& first, I don't have a RULEBOOK for my husband, or anything, I just would be surprised and yes, hurt, if he felt he had the need to pay other people to get naked for him-- because I think our sex life is way fullfilling, I guess LOL), I don't have a problem with him going to the trivia bar, pool club, etc, to hang out with his friends (& he does do that once a week-- as do I have dinner or drinks with girlfriends) is kind of misleading. LOL I'm not thinking my husband is going to have sex with a stripper-- that's not why I don't like the idea of it. I trust him to not sleep with someone else. People keep explaining that strippers aren't going to sleep with him, so wives shouldn't be bothered, but the stripper's motivation has nothing to do with my opinions (& I wish her the best). KWIM? If he was going to pay other women to take their clothes off and my only reassurance was that THEY weren't willing to have sex with him anyway, well, that's cold comfort. LOL Meaning, what? He'd do it, but she won't let him, so he's forced to come home to me, no thanks. So that argument isn't really in the equation for me.

I honestly just would feel like I was doing something wrong if our bedroom antics weren't doing the job for him, and he had to pay someone else to get naked and turn him on, even if after needing that, I was the one he came home, closed his eyes, and had sex with. I like to think we have a fun time at that together. LOL

So that's just my thought process. I don't have anything against strippers as people, when I was younger I went to strip clubs with boyfriends to make sure they knew I was cool (rolleyes), I'm just not in that place anymore. I have no problem with other couples feeling completely different than I do, but for me and my DH? I want our in-person sexy business to pretty much be with each other. He does, too, so it's not been an issue, but that's my thought.

I understand what you are saying .. I can accept and appreciate that. I think you are saying there is a difference between a bar and a strip club. That's where we differ. I think there is not...Not when it comes to temptations. There are temptations EVERYWHERE...Literally. I don't think it matters where they go.

We are not talking about JUST men who go to strip clubs to pay for the show on perv row .. we are talking about men who want to hang with their buddies, have a few beers and laughs. They are not there JUST to have someone strip for them. In fact the 'stripping' is 2ndary to the camaraderie of the buddies. It has little to do with a creepy sexual desire or void.

Well, I guess I'm just lucky that it's not the hangout of my DH's buddies, then, b/c I guess I'd have to cross the bridge of that second paragraph when I got there.

I know there are temptations everywhere, I agree with you. That's part of the point I was trying to make-- my problem isn't that I feel like he'd suddenly pay the stripper to have sex with him (or she'd take the deal), or that he'll have sex with some gal next Tuesday when he plays pool with his buddies as he does every Tuesday. He's a good looking man, & I know he has the opportunity to sleep with other women if he wants to (as do I with other men), I trust him not to do that-- it's not about that (for me).
Actually, there are probably WORSE temptations in a lot of offices than there are at bars, for that matter, don't you think? I,m a SAHM now, but at my old office, OMG, it was such a sexually charged atmosphere- a lot of people had affairs there, and I'm sure that's not toally uncommon. But my problem also isn't that I worry that my DH is going to sleep with his secretary. But if he paid her to get naked for him, I'd just feel like THAT ALONE, not even later having sex, would be an issue between us. I don't want him to need that.
Hopefully that makes more sense!

I totally get that other people see it differently, and I think that's totally fine. DH & I seem to be mostly on the same page (other than bachelor parties, which I see the same way you seem to see strip clubs-- as just part of man-bonding that isn't that big a deal), it's not really an issue for us; and I think that's true of a lot of couples, so I don't think this "oh, so you're forcing him to follow your rulebook" kind of assumption in some posts (not yours!) isn't always accurate or relevant.


eta: I meant I'm on the same page about Bachelor Parties that you are about Strip Clubs, my husband goes to them when there is one, they are usually at strip clubs, and it's not a big deal to me-- you'd go there b/c that's where the party is-- not because you are personally needing to pay a stranger to get naked for you.