Strip clubs for married men?

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  • Jennloella
    Jennloella Posts: 2,286 Member
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    first of all, all this romance novel talk has me freaked out. do people still read those?! I've never touched one. I think the strip club debate depends on the couple. If one of you has a problem with it, then it's a problem. If both don't mind, then who cares. I personally don't like the idea of my husband going out and staring at naked strangers. I also have two poles in my home and thigh high boots in every color, so I pretty much make up for it. ;) some men don't know how else to bond than to go out together and look at boobs. probably because they have no real interests in common. My hubby invites his friends over to watch the fights, we all go camping together, he takes the kids fishing with his buddies that have kids too. Both people in a relation can be happy and satisfied without strip clubs, you've got to be up front about it in the beginning though, and you've got to give him a reason to "eat in" instead of going out.....
  • Estela565
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    I don't see a problem... In fact I'd go with him too :p ahahahaha But I'd have better ideas to spend the money with... ;-)
    Besides trust is very important in a marriage ... If you are keepinghim happy there's nothing to worry about ...
  • tnic86
    tnic86 Posts: 134 Member
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    Sure, I see attractive people, but I don't have to see them dance around naked!
  • tnic86
    tnic86 Posts: 134 Member
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    Wow...I'm surprised with the number of people that are actually okay with this. I don't agree to it, and that's my opinion. Why would a happily married person even want to go watch someone else dance naked other than their spouse?

    because they are more attractive
    they are not cheating, its just looking

    I'm just confused as to why they even need to "look". To each their own, I guess. Should they go marry someone else that is "more attractive", then?

    my wife points out guys that she thinks are hot, i point out woman that i think are hot, to her............we do it at the beach........i guess it comes down to insecurity for some...........we are together because we are perfect packages for each other, but that doesn't mean i am the hottest guy on the planet, or that she is the hottest woman on the planet...........and we both have eyes..........

    I'm definitely not insecure, I just think there's better things to do honestly. lol
  • kimclaws
    kimclaws Posts: 101 Member
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    I do not think it is an issue at all, i enjoy going to clubs with my husband when we travel. It is a fun way to spice up the bedroom life. , for some. It just all comes down to trust. I know my husband would never do anything to hurt me, so he can go to as many clubs as he likes.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    If men are "visual" creatures, and women have trust issues with their fellas going to a strip club, then should we also forbid women from reading steamy novels, and watching movies with their "dreamy" guys in them since women are "emotional" creatures. Is it fair to not let one gender partially satisfy their primal calling while the other one is allowed to soak it up everyday? Your thoughts.

    For me specifically, it's not a trust issue. Maybe this isn't typical, but I feel that it is my obligation (hypotethically speaking ... I'm not married yet) to keep my husband satisfied sexually and vice versa. So if he felt the need to regularly watch other women dance naked, that would make me feel like he wasn't getting what he needed from me. I guess it's sort of like if your wife was always getting other people to fix stuff around the house or her car or whatever. If you were the kind of man who considered it your responsibility to take care of things like that, yet your wife was constantly asking other men to do it, wouldn't that bother you?

    About the romance novels and "dreamy" movie stars ... I don't read romance novels and I'm not really a romantic comedy kind of girl either, so I guess I can't really say why women do that stuff. What I can say is that most women do not get emotional fulfillment from looking at a guy on a screen. Now, if you're married to someone who is so wrapped up in Dr. McDreamy that she starts twitching if she has to miss an episode of Grey's Anatomy, then you definitely have a point.

    I just don't buy the "it's natural to look at naked women" thing. It's also natural to have sex with lots of women, but you don't expect your wife to put up with that, so you use your higher-level abilities as a human being to control those urges. Why is it any different for her to expect you to look at HER when you want to look at a naked woman? If variety is the spice of life, again, why get married?
  • Being2befit
    Being2befit Posts: 127 Member
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    why does my husband have to go there?? when i could do the job at home ;) with bonuses!!! :blushing:
  • Secret_Agent_007
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    why does my husband have to go there?? when i could do the job at home ;) with bonuses!!! :blushing:



    Maybe he's afraid of your reaction. How open is your relationship?


    I personally don't see anything wrong with strip clubs as long as it's not frequent. Mind you I like the idea of bringing my SO. I think that would be fun.

    The women who think adding a pole to their BR have a great idea. You may want to visit a club and get some hints but the results could easily be spectacular for both of you.
  • Secret_Agent_007
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    why does my husband have to go there?? when i could do the job at home ;) with bonuses!!! :blushing:



    Oh.... keep in mind, if you Do try this at home, the idea is to turn him on WITHOUT letting him touch you ... until YOU'RE ready.
  • albinogorilla
    albinogorilla Posts: 1,056 Member
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    If men are "visual" creatures, and women have trust issues with their fellas going to a strip club, then should we also forbid women from reading steamy novels, and watching movies with their "dreamy" guys in them since women are "emotional" creatures. Is it fair to not let one gender partially satisfy their primal calling while the other one is allowed to soak it up everyday? Your thoughts.

    For me specifically, it's not a trust issue. Maybe this isn't typical, but I feel that it is my obligation (hypotethically speaking ... I'm not married yet) to keep my husband satisfied sexually and vice versa. So if he felt the need to regularly watch other women dance naked, that would make me feel like he wasn't getting what he needed from me. I guess it's sort of like if your wife was always getting other people to fix stuff around the house or her car or whatever. If you were the kind of man who considered it your responsibility to take care of things like that, yet your wife was constantly asking other men to do it, wouldn't that bother you?

    About the romance novels and "dreamy" movie stars ... I don't read romance novels and I'm not really a romantic comedy kind of girl either, so I guess I can't really say why women do that stuff. What I can say is that most women do not get emotional fulfillment from looking at a guy on a screen. Now, if you're married to someone who is so wrapped up in Dr. McDreamy that she starts twitching if she has to miss an episode of Grey's Anatomy, then you definitely have a point.

    I just don't buy the "it's natural to look at naked women" thing. It's also natural to have sex with lots of women, but you don't expect your wife to put up with that, so you use your higher-level abilities as a human being to control those urges. Why is it any different for her to expect you to look at HER when you want to look at a naked woman? If variety is the spice of life, again, why get married?

    agree to disagree...........me and my wife have no problem with it, and its not an issue. better tell your future husband upfront all the rules so he can make sure he is willing to be 100% compliant
  • Being2befit
    Being2befit Posts: 127 Member
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    why does my husband have to go there?? when i could do the job at home ;) with bonuses!!! :blushing:



    Oh.... keep in mind, if you Do try this at home, the idea is to turn him on WITHOUT letting him touch you ... until YOU'RE ready.



    yeah trust me i know this ;)
  • SkateboardFi
    SkateboardFi Posts: 1,322 Member
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    why does my husband have to go there?? when i could do the job at home ;) with bonuses!!! :blushing:



    Oh.... keep in mind, if you Do try this at home, the idea is to turn him on WITHOUT letting him touch you ... until YOU'RE ready.



    yeah trust me i know this ;)

    isn't that what handcuffs are for?
  • GreatSetOfBrains
    GreatSetOfBrains Posts: 675 Member
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    Ummm yeah I should stay out of this. My ex husband went with friends once or twice, I even went with. I have friends who are dancers. I'm not saying there are not good men who just want to see half naked women, I'm saying the number of "bad" honest hard working men out weigh the decent by FAR. I don't enjoy the idea of my current husband looking at any women that naked but me. . . If we have fun together at home (face it a lot can be done), I am much more comfortable with that. BUT without the previous BAD experience I'd probably had said it was fine . . . .

    well, you never listed a bad experience, you just said you went, and you are now saying that you are punishing your next husband for the sins of the last..........that doesn't make much sense


    You're right I kinda left that part out, sorry distracted with school. He ened up going all the time. And being a cheating husband. I'm not by any means punishing my husband.He can go if he wants, but he has the "that is someone's daughter" attitude about that. . . . Anyway. . . that's that
  • albinogorilla
    albinogorilla Posts: 1,056 Member
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    Ummm yeah I should stay out of this. My ex husband went with friends once or twice, I even went with. I have friends who are dancers. I'm not saying there are not good men who just want to see half naked women, I'm saying the number of "bad" honest hard working men out weigh the decent by FAR. I don't enjoy the idea of my current husband looking at any women that naked but me. . . If we have fun together at home (face it a lot can be done), I am much more comfortable with that. BUT without the previous BAD experience I'd probably had said it was fine . . . .

    well, you never listed a bad experience, you just said you went, and you are now saying that you are punishing your next husband for the sins of the last..........that doesn't make much sense


    You're right I kinda left that part out, sorry distracted with school. He ened up going all the time. And being a cheating husband. I'm not by any means punishing my husband.He can go if he wants, but he has the "that is someone's daughter" attitude about that. . . . Anyway. . . that's that

    Well in that case obviously, he can't handle it. And he would have cheated with or without a strip joint. All girls are someones daughter...........can't look at them all that way, or there wouldn't be any people left!
  • ZebraHead
    ZebraHead Posts: 15,207 Member
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    yes
  • Secret_Agent_007
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    I also should mention to the ladies that if you send an ultimatum that going is forbidden, you've just inspired a trip.

    If you say, "I'd rather take care of you at home" you'd have much more success than "don't even think about going!"
  • Secret_Agent_007
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    why does my husband have to go there?? when i could do the job at home ;) with bonuses!!! :blushing:



    Oh.... keep in mind, if you Do try this at home, the idea is to turn him on WITHOUT letting him touch you ... until YOU'RE ready.



    yeah trust me i know this ;)



    Then you're all set. I can't explain why he wouldn't rather stay home. Makes no sense to me. Did you ever try asking if you could go as a couple?
  • Secret_Agent_007
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    why does my husband have to go there?? when i could do the job at home ;) with bonuses!!! :blushing:



    Oh.... keep in mind, if you Do try this at home, the idea is to turn him on WITHOUT letting him touch you ... until YOU'RE ready.



    yeah trust me i know this ;)

    isn't that what handcuffs are for?



    I like how you think. :tongue:
  • GreatSetOfBrains
    GreatSetOfBrains Posts: 675 Member
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    Okay, so my husband would rather look at me than them. . . Is that better?
  • sweetsarahj
    sweetsarahj Posts: 701 Member
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    I just have to say... it is a miracle that this thread has not been deleted LOL