Men Are Husbands, Not "Hubbys"

cloud2011

I've been married over two decades and have NEVER called my husband "hubby" either in talking to him, or about him. I consider it as bad as men who call their wives "the wife" when they talk about them.

april_beth

i call mine "daddy"

*shrug*

edited to read: sadly, he is not my sugar daddy tho.

Bridget28152723

When I was in a college fraternity, the old joke was it was a "fraternity" not a "frat" because you would never shorten the word "country." (Maybe I have the joke wrong...that's what college partying will do!)

Anyway, as a man, I do not like it when women refer to their spouse as their "hubby." I'm sure in most cases it's meant well, but in many it's not. I'm talking about the women who don't particular like their husbands (and I've talked to some of you so I know you're out there!)

But either way, I find "hubby" to be a touch condescending as a man. I have a feeling most women would feel the same way if all of them were referred to as "wifey" in each instance.

I realize most of you mean it as a term of endearment and it's shorter, but that doesn't mean it can't be nails on a chalkboard to me. Could I be the ONLY person that feels this way?

(Let the flaming begin.....)

Im a married women and I never used the term hubby, I dont care if others do its just that I dont, I dont need to shorten every word , another thing that I think is disrespectful is if someone refers to me as "the old lady" (ei.,a friend of my husband) when I was first refered to that name I was like 20! even though Im 30 now Im not old and if I were I still wouldnt like it one bit. Im his "wife" and he's my "husband" -guess Im just old fashioned in my thinkin- It also has a lot to do with where you live.....Im from California but have lived in Florida for 15 yrs. and here the term "Old Lady" and "Old Man"gets used alot

i_love_vinegar

It is just a word (not negative). I don't think I would ever use it simply because I dislike the sound, but if other people want to use it, who cares.

In Japan, a survey showed that men would prefer their wives to call them, "Master." Frankly, if calling my husband Master made him happy, I would do it. It is just a word, and not meant in a negative context.

:flowerforyou:

geekymom57

I've been marriee 27 years and have never once called, or been even remotely tempted to call, my husband "hubby" and he hast certainly never called me "the missus." I can't even imagine how I would respond if he did so.

I have several siblings, most married, and can't recall ever hearing one of them call their spouse "hubby" or "the missus" or the like. I have never heard of my female friends call their spouse "hubby." I have heard a couple of the non-professional staff at work refer to their husband as "hubby" and a married male support staff always refers to his wife as "the missues." The relevant variables might be that they all live in smaller towns and are in a different socio-economic class than those who don't use those terms.

That said, I suspect the use or non-use of those terms reflects many factors, such as where and when you grew up and overall cultural norms. In my community, it would generally be out of the norm t for a woman of my age to call my husband "hubby".

In a broader sense, I dislike and don't use pet names or slang terms in general, and can't think of even one friend or family member who uses them either. As a result, I cringe when I read "sammiches" or "hubby", "better half,," etc.,. I'm trying to train myself not to react so immediately because this is a casual forum and people often write how they talk but I have a hard time getting past the fact that even casually my friends and family don't talk or write that way, so it's just so unfamilar to me that I have a hard time getting past the immediate reaction.

jennajava

I think this is personal preference. My husband refers to himself as my hubby. It's a term of endearment.

jennajava

i call mine "daddy"

*shrug*

edited to read: sadly, he is not my sugar daddy tho.

Now that we are parents, we probably call each other "mama" and "daddy" more than our names, too!

missdaisy79

My husband doesn't like "hubby", as it sounds too close to "chubby" for his liking. And he's sensitive about his weight, as we both are. As newly weds, we are still working through the novelty of calling each other husband and wife, although it seems weird at the moment.

XFitMojoMom

i call mine "daddy"

*shrug*

edited to read: sadly, he is not my sugar daddy tho.

I call mine "Big Daddy", but in quick online conversations it will be DH (Dear Husband, or D!ck Head, dependent on my mood)... or Hubby...

skittybang

Silly. I've used it - I've used hubs - I've used husband - I've used *kitten* head - I've used "my penis" -

- "so the hubs & I caught a movie.."
- "WOMAN, it is your HUSBAND!"
- "Yes, I'm quite aware of that."

Icklemellie

I think its a nice informal way to call your partner, I call him hubby he calls me wifey. Its not meant to be condecending in anyway and we like it that way. Fair nuff to those that dont, call each other what ever you like as long as it makes u smile it shouldnt matter what anyone else thinks. x

rml_16

When I was in a college fraternity, the old joke was it was a "fraternity" not a "frat" because you would never shorten the word "country." (Maybe I have the joke wrong...that's what college partying will do!)

Anyway, as a man, I do not like it when women refer to their spouse as their "hubby." I'm sure in most cases it's meant well, but in many it's not. I'm talking about the women who don't particular like their husbands (and I've talked to some of you so I know you're out there!)

But either way, I find "hubby" to be a touch condescending as a man. I have a feeling most women would feel the same way if all of them were referred to as "wifey" in each instance.

I realize most of you mean it as a term of endearment and it's shorter, but that doesn't mean it can't be nails on a chalkboard to me. Could I be the ONLY person that feels this way?

(Let the flaming begin.....)

I hear men refer to their wives as "the wife" all the time. My boyfriend refers to me that way all the time. It's the same thing.

If you're not MY husband, then it's not really your business how I refer to my husband (if I had one).

havingitall

Not big on the "endearment" hubby myself and don't ever use it. If the people I am talking to don't know him, I refer to him as my husband. If they know him, I refer to him by his name and when I am talking to him it is either Sweetie or his name.

I would hate being called wifey, the ball and chain or the other half.....It almost sounds like a put down to me.

mamapaints

I sometimes say hubby but totally as a term of endearment. However, I rarely say it to my dh unless I'm feeling goofy since he says he doesn't like it. Around that time, he might say to me "Woman!" which he also rarely says (I hate it!) but he does it to tease, the same way I use hubby. Most of the time we just say "hey!"

TheRoadDog

My wife never refers to me at all. Won't take me out, Says I embarrass her.

KimmieBrie

The only time I may have referred to my husband as hubby would be typing online to shorten it but
usually I'll type husb to shorten. In conversation I never calll him 'hubby'. I call him by his name to those who
know him and my husband to those who don't. He calls me by my name or nickname or says my wife.

Other people saying hubby or wifey or smoochie pie or whatever doesn't bother me. I don't see it as derogatory and it's not my concern what others call each other, as long as they treat each other well.

If you don't like it I guess it only matters that your own wife, if and when you have one, doesn't call you 'hubby'.

umachanxo

I refer to my fiance as "hubby" online. He doesn't mind, or care. And I wouldn't mind if he called me "wifey".
I guess it's just one of those things that some don't mind and others do. *shrugs*

AlsDonkBoxSquat

normally online I refer to him as DH (Dear Husband) and my toddler as TM (The boss Man) or B but I figure that this site isn't centered around family so it doesn't use the same abreviations at the sites that do and this may confuse people so I refer to him as hubs here only and no where else to shorten it. IRL I refer to him by name, and when I talk to him I call him by name, or I call him "honey" "hun" "babe" or "daddy" if my son is around (like when I hand my son to him and say "here daddy, your boy wants to give you some suga."). However, seeing as this is the interwebz I don't use proper names unless by accident so I'll continue to use the shortest way possible to get my point across, which happens to be "hubs."

RhonndaJ

I can understand it bothering you but for me it's less about the term itself than it is about the tone in which it's used.

Have I called my husband 'hubby'? On occasion.
Does he care? No.
If he did would I use it? Yeah, probably, but only to annoy him.
Do I refer to him as my hubby in conversation? No, nor am I likely to ever do so.

My husband has never referred to me as 'wifey'. A lot of other things, affectionate and not, but not wifey. Though an acquaintance referred to me as that the other night and I didn't like it one bit, but there's history between she and I and there's nothing but my name that she could call me that I would like, so I don't know if it would bother me in general. I doubt it. It certainly doesn't bother me when other people use the term.

FearAnLoathing

online I call my husband Hubby all the time,I also wouldnt care if he called me wifey. I will continue to refer to him as hubby when I feel like it.:flowerforyou:

asyouseefit

I hate when women refer to them only as husband or boyfriend. They are not objects! When did they lose their names!! Are you so proud of having a man that you need to force it into every possible instance?! (And I feel the same way about 'wife' and 'girlfriend')

FYI: I am a woman. I have a boyfriend. I call him by his name. Not "Let me ask the boyfriend". It's "Let me ask {name}"

But, back to your original question. Yes, it annoys me when I hear people use 'hubby' all the time.

I guess it depends if the person you're talking to knows your boyfriend's name.
If I tell you I'm having lunch with Cyrille, it could be my coworker, my husband, my boyfriend, my grown-up son, my boss,...

casi_ann

Wow, thanks for the enligntenment. I never considered calling him hubby as a bad thing. I sometimes call my husband hubby in my posting on line, but never would say it in real life. I don't like the sound of wifey, so will stop using the word hubby. dh, for darling husband does sound better. l don't mean it in a condescending way and would never want him to feel that way. I love him to pieces, most of the time.

mandimoore617

FYI: I am a woman. I have a boyfriend. I call him by his name. Not "Let me ask the boyfriend". It's "Let me ask {name}"

If speaking to someone else about my boyfriend, it's "Let me talk to Eric".

I think I can count on one hand the number of times in a year that he calls me by my name, it is always babe, love, hon, sweety, dahhhhling, etc.

When speaking to each other, it's a term of endearment (pick one, I'm sure we've used it), very rarely each other's names. It just sounds weird now to use each other's names. Normally it's Honey, Baby, Sweetie, or Momma/Daddy.

i call mine "daddy"

*shrug*

edited to read: sadly, he is not my sugar daddy tho.

Now that we are parents, we probably call each other "mama" and "daddy" more than our names, too!

YES!! If my son is around, I almost always say "Hey, daddy, can you pass me the remote?" instead of "honey" or some other term. I'm sure when my son's older (he's 2), we'll stop saying momma & daddy for everything though and go back to more of the "sweetie, honey, baby" stuff. LOL

SuperSnoopy

I cant post on here what my wifey calls me!!

SpitfireStacey

Online: DH (dear husband/d!ckhead depending on the subject of the post)
in person: My husband or K... for those who know him.

Never much liked hubby *I* wouldn't use it but I don't care that other people do.

Faeriegirl74

I will admit, if I am typing a text (because I'm too lazy to spell it all out) - I will use "hub", "hubs", or "hubby"...I've even been known to say "J" (his first initial)...but it goes both ways. However, if I am speaking - be it to my husband or to friends - whether on the phone or in conversation, I do refer to my husband or "Jerry".

It doesn't annoy us, to each their own...but my husband and I are not your typical husband/wife either. We grew up as kids (high school/college) together, but went our separate ways and then decided to marry 18 years after the fact. We are spirited individuals who will sit down and play a game of World of Warcraft, Magic The Gathering, or Dungeons and Dragons together...we share similar, yet separate interests (I'm a runner, he's not)...we meet in the middle and we are individual thinkers. We are great communicators.

I will say, I have a friend and her husband calls her "we-fay"...she rolls her eyes each time he does that. I think if they communicated, he would not call her "we-fay" anymore...but that's their argument, not mine.

ElizabethRoad

I was going to say that I didn't see the problem with "hubby", but since you mentioned it coming from people who don't really care for their husbands, yeah that would be condescending. But really any term of endearment would be obnoxious in that context.

Then again, I can't freaking stand it when people use DH and all those abbreviations, and there's no real reason that should bother me. So I can't really judge. Some things are just annoying to certain people.

FatGirlSlim899

I would never, ever say hubby. It doesn't bother me when others do though. When in conversation with someone new, I would 'introduce' him as 'my boyfriend Steve', then refer to him by name after. I'm getting married next year, and it won't change, I'll still call him Steve.

I'm a pretty un-emotional person, so not into pet names. If other people have them then that's cool, but I hate being subjected to it. For example my friend calls me 'babe' and 'hon' and I have to ask her to call me by name because it makes me feel sort of queasy. I think 'hubby' is fine though, it doesn't bother me- but pet names in public do. Yes, I am cold. Do I care? NOPE! :happy:

jennajava

It is just a word (not negative). I don't think I would ever use it simply because I dislike the sound, but if other people want to use it, who cares.

In Japan, a survey showed that men would prefer their wives to call them, "Master." Frankly, if calling my husband Master made him happy, I would do it. It is just a word, and not meant in a negative context.

:flowerforyou:

mas·ter   /ˈmæstər, ˈmɑstər/ noun 1.a person with the ability or power to use, control, or dispose of something: a master of six languages; to be master of one's fate. 2.an owner of a slave, animal, etc.


...No thank you! Haha

JulieSD

LOL

I love this!


I say neither 'hubby' or 'husband'...I say ex-husband and its WONDERFUL!!