Men Are Husbands, Not "Hubbys"

Iceskatefanrn

Online I call him The Hubs.

To others I refer to him as my Hunka Hunka Burnin' Love... you'd understand if you ever met him, he's totally hot! (and this is after 22 years of marriage, and I'm not kidding!)

But apparently... at home when the kids were growing up... I used another term a bit much...

When my oldest son was going into Kindergarten the school provided a list of things the kids should know before they entered school, such as their phone number, address, how to tie their shoes, etc...

On the list was this: Your child should know their parents' first names.

Hmmm... I didn't know if my 5 year old son knew our first names, so I asked him...

"Do you know Mommy's first name?" "Yes", he said, and he accurately told me my first name, which actually surprised me!

"That's right, sweetie! Now, do you know Daddy's first name?"

"Yes... it's HONEY"

:laugh:

Ice

Sidesteal

Silly. I've used it - I've used hubs - I've used husband - I've used *kitten* head - I've used "my penis" -

- "so the hubs & I caught a movie.."
- "WOMAN, it is your HUSBAND!"
- "Yes, I'm quite aware of that."

This is hilarious!! Im so using "my penis" when I get home!!! haha

I would like to change my answer to
<

---

"my penis"

livnlite

I use the term 'hubby' often, and when I hear others use it I have always gotten the impression it was used as a term of endearment. Never realized it would even remotely be offensive or condescending unless is was emphasized in such a way that there was no doubt that it was meant to be so. It's all about context. ANY term, for that matter can be used in a condescending way .. even "Sweetheart".

When a wife is pizzed .. There is a whole repertoire of terms that reflect how they are feeling about their SO .. that allows no confusion .. like .. somb!tch (SOB for short), jerkface, d!ckhead, monkeybutt .. well, you get the idea.

Using the term hubby or husband no differently than when a person is talking about any member of their family (or even a friend, or anyone they know) with someone who does not know them by name is very understandable. What's the point in mentioning them by name, when the other person has no idea who you are referring to. All they need to know to comprehend what you are saying is the relationship that person (you are referring) to is to you.

bcattoes

I hate when women refer to them only as husband or boyfriend. They are not objects! When did they lose their names!! Are you so proud of having a man that you need to force it into every possible instance?! (And I feel the same way about 'wife' and 'girlfriend')

Do you call your parents by their first name, or do you treat them as objects?

bigbugboo

I feel the same way when i hear men refer to their spouses as 'The Wife'!

Kelly_Wilson1990

I call my husband "hubby" all the time. It is a sign of affection. Just like when he calls me Kel instead of Kelly. Only my close friends and family call me Kel. To me hubby is like saying daddy instead of father. Less formal and more personal.

BattyMama

I refer to my husband as hubby when I am upset we use it as a code word to get me out of a problem in public. However at home or in normal public functions he is Mein Mann (translation my man) the German term for husband.

writtenINthestars

Online, my husband is my "hubs"..

Because I don't need to type out his real name...or say his name and then explain who he is in reference to my post at the time..

It's all a bit trivial.

teagin2002

When I was in a college fraternity, the old joke was it was a "fraternity" not a "frat" because you would never shorten the word "country." (Maybe I have the joke wrong...that's what college partying will do!)

Anyway, as a man, I do not like it when women refer to their spouse as their "hubby." I'm sure in most cases it's meant well, but in many it's not. I'm talking about the women who don't particular like their husbands (and I've talked to some of you so I know you're out there!)

But either way, I find "hubby" to be a touch condescending as a man. I have a feeling most women would feel the same way if all of them were referred to as "wifey" in each instance.

I realize most of you mean it as a term of endearment and it's shorter, but that doesn't mean it can't be nails on a chalkboard to me. Could I be the ONLY person that feels this way?

(Let the flaming begin.....)

Hello and good morning,
for us we tease each other and rag each other so much, and yes sometimes he does call me wifey, but knowing how brilliant, funny and sweet he is it makes me proud to be his wifey. :happy:
We have learned to take things easily with a grain of salt, the only thing we make a big deal of is calling one another by their name.
I know it seems odd, but culturally for me to call him by his name without title or pet name is disrespectful so I made it both ways.
Just remember there are a lot of people on this site and we are all very diverse, so just take things lightly and enjoy life, especially when it comes to these things. Some of us adore our husbands and call him our hubby. For me hubby means husband and it makes me proud to call him that, I think he is so brilliant and wonderful and just the way he makes me laugh every day it actually make me happy to call him that.

Qarol

5 pages of responses...not going to read

But my husband and I are very much in love. I refer to him as the husband, hubby, and hubs. He doesn't mind one bit.

Don't like it? I don't care.

rml_16

I hate when women refer to them only as husband or boyfriend. They are not objects! When did they lose their names!! Are you so proud of having a man that you need to force it into every possible instance?! (And I feel the same way about 'wife' and 'girlfriend')

Do you call your parents by their first name, or do you treat them as objects?

When I'm talking to people who know who my boyfriend is, I call him by name. When I'm talking to people who don't know us well enough to know his name, he is my boyfriend. The same with my daughter. I also refer to my friends as "my friend" when I'm talking to people who don't know the particular person I'm talking about.

They don't lose their names, but if I'm talking to someone who doesn't know me well enough to know their names and I say, "Jeff did X," that person isn't going to know who Jeff is or why it matters.

p0pr0cksnc0ke

5 pages of responses...not going to read

But my husband and I are very much in love. I refer to him as the husband, hubby, and hubs. He doesn't mind one bit.

Don't like it? I don't care.

This!

After being together for 11 years, I can call him whatever I want.

teagin2002

I love the last few responses. LOL :laugh:

kaits108

I really only find it annoying when people do that when they're not married. I'm like, wait...you're calling your boyfriend your Hubby? Don't you...need...to...marry him first? hehe! Besides that, just don't tell me your "preggers" because THAT one annoys the crap out of me.

rml_16

I've been marriee 27 years and have never once called, or been even remotely tempted to call, my husband "hubby" and he hast certainly never called me "the missus." I can't even imagine how I would respond if he did so.

I have several siblings, most married, and can't recall ever hearing one of them call their spouse "hubby" or "the missus" or the like. I have never heard of my female friends call their spouse "hubby." I have heard a couple of the non-professional staff at work refer to their husband as "hubby" and a married male support staff always refers to his wife as "the missues." The relevant variables might be that they all live in smaller towns and are in a different socio-economic class than those who don't use those terms.

That said, I suspect the use or non-use of those terms reflects many factors, such as where and when you grew up and overall cultural norms. In my community, it would generally be out of the norm t for a woman of my age to call my husband "hubby".

In a broader sense, I dislike and don't use pet names or slang terms in general, and can't think of even one friend or family member who uses them either. As a result, I cringe when I read "sammiches" or "hubby", "better half,," etc.,. I'm trying to train myself not to react so immediately because this is a casual forum and people often write how they talk but I have a hard time getting past the fact that even casually my friends and family don't talk or write that way, so it's just so unfamilar to me that I have a hard time getting past the immediate reaction.

yes the peasants always have their own slang!!!

I don't understand why the peasants are allowed in the same space as the rest of us, though. We shouldn't have to hear or read their slang.

nalia08

I say every marriage has it's own twist to everything. Do what works for you and your spouse and not others! If your spouse has a problem with any term of endearment, I'm sure they would tell you! I don't call my husband "hubby" when talking to him. I do say Husband. But he also says Wife (which he started!) So again, do what works for your marriage!

Qarol

I really only find it annoying when people do that when they're not married. I'm like, wait...you're calling your boyfriend your Hubby? Don't you...need...to...marry him first?

This doesn't bother me, either. If they like calling each other that, what does it matter? I knew an engaged couple who wore their wedding rings for the entire engagement. Why? Because they wanted to. And they can.

i_love_vinegar

I hate when women refer to them only as husband or boyfriend. They are not objects! When did they lose their names!! Are you so proud of having a man that you need to force it into every possible instance?! (And I feel the same way about 'wife' and 'girlfriend')

Do you call your parents by their first name, or do you treat them as objects?

I have a nickname for my mom, and she has one for me. Nicknames such as hubby are words of affection. One of my Chinese friends here I call, "My little shanghai dumpling" now because hes so cute I can't help it ~My moms name comes from her fake teenage-identity she made to cyberstalk me to find out about my love life haha :PI have nicknames for half-the-people I know~I feel it is endearing ^o^

juleseybaby

So many responses for such a 'simple' topic!!

Dude - you do what works for you over there... and I'm gonna stay over here and keep doing what works for me!

Wait... how do you feel about being called 'dude'? :bigsmile:

HollieDoodles

I'm not married, but for me, "hubby" would be said out of love. It's sort of reflects how cozy he makes you feel and any man worth being married to should be a cuddly teddy bear.... in my opinion. However, if he didn't want to be called that, I wouldn't do it.

I just don't like the weird voices some couples use when they talk to each other. It sounds like they're talking to a pet or a baby. Now THAT'S annoying! :grumble:

abazooday727

Blah, Blah, Blah...who gives a crap!? Why do people care? Bitter people are bitter...Happy people are happy...As long as they do not call you names...We should not care so much about what others think, do, say...Bitter, unhappy people will always find fault. I AM WITH SKITTY! Hubby, Hubs, "My Penis" It is all said with LOVE! Wife, WIfey, Sweet thing, "Tha *****" as long as he calls me IT'S ALL GOOD!

NovemberJune

I usually call my husband by his name or "loves", but also think of hubby as just another endearing term for him. in forums i call him DH because it's short and people know who i'm talking about. lol. if i say his first name, people might think i'm talking about my son, or friend, or anything.
interesting that you think of it as a demeaning term.... i never think of wifey as demeaning either.

teagin2002

I really only find it annoying when people do that when they're not married. I'm like, wait...you're calling your boyfriend your Hubby? Don't you...need...to...marry him first?

This doesn't bother me, either. If they like calling each other that, what does it matter? I knew an engaged couple who wore their wedding rings for the entire engagement. Why? Because they wanted to. And they can.

I agree, I don't believe people should get married just because they are in love, but they also must be ready to share everything they have and everything they will have in the future (the in riches or poor part), and accept responsibility for their partner (the sickness and health part), there are other things too; if they want to have kids with that person for instance. If not then just stay in love and enjoy your lives.
That being said, you can feel free to do what ever makes you feel comfortable as we live in the wonderful USA be free and live happy.
Don't worry, be happy, doooo doot doot do do, doooo da do da do da do, doooo da do da do da do, Don't worry, be happy!

kaits108

I really only find it annoying when people do that when they're not married. I'm like, wait...you're calling your boyfriend your Hubby? Don't you...need...to...marry him first?

This doesn't bother me, either. If they like calling each other that, what does it matter? I knew an engaged couple who wore their wedding rings for the entire engagement. Why? Because they wanted to. And they can.

Of course they CAN, I merely think it's ridiculous. Just my opinion

MegSommer

I hate when women refer to them only as husband or boyfriend. They are not objects! When did they lose their names!! Are you so proud of having a man that you need to force it into every possible instance?! (And I feel the same way about 'wife' and 'girlfriend')

FYI: I am a woman. I have a boyfriend. I call him by his name. Not "Let me ask the boyfriend". It's "Let me ask {name}"

But, back to your original question. Yes, it annoys me when I hear people use 'hubby' all the time.

I think most people use the terms "Hubby" "Husband" "Wife" "Girlfriend" blah blah blah because we are on a site where we don't know each other personally. If i said "Laz and i went to the gym last night" would you know who i was talking about?! No. So saying the relationship allows others understand your life a little more. True?!

AChristopher09

there are a lot of women posting here, when they should be making sammiches

LOL my "hubby" has said that to me so many times its not funny!

I call my husband, hubby, hubs, snuggly bear, the list goes on...I have been with him almost 10 years and we haven't had any issues about it. He calls me wifey, boo bear, ect...so I don't think it's an issue. but with everything there are always people that have to pick at everything

Qarol

I really only find it annoying when people do that when they're not married. I'm like, wait...you're calling your boyfriend your Hubby? Don't you...need...to...marry him first?

This doesn't bother me, either. If they like calling each other that, what does it matter? I knew an engaged couple who wore their wedding rings for the entire engagement. Why? Because they wanted to. And they can.

Of course they CAN, I merely think it's ridiculous. Just my opinion

I think it's sweet. We can agree to disagree.

kaits108

I really only find it annoying when people do that when they're not married. I'm like, wait...you're calling your boyfriend your Hubby? Don't you...need...to...marry him first?

This doesn't bother me, either. If they like calling each other that, what does it matter? I knew an engaged couple who wore their wedding rings for the entire engagement. Why? Because they wanted to. And they can.

Of course they CAN, I merely think it's ridiculous. Just my opinion

I think it's sweet. We can agree to disagree.

Deal!

1hotbiscuit

I can handle pet names as long as it doesn't get out of control. I usually refer to my husband as "DH" on boards but use his name in conversation. But don't get me started on couples baby talking each other because that sends me through the roof!

billsica

I get refereed to as only DH on forums by my wife. I assume it must be something bad since those are not my initials.
I can only come up with D__something Head?