Say your 15 yr old daughter requests Birth Control

Rsjessen

I agree that the idea of marriage has taken a turn for the worse. You mainly see it among celebrities, such as Kim Kardashian who just got a divorce after 70 days of marriage. But I still do not believe having sex before marriage has anything to do with this. As I said it's common in my country to have sex before marriage. Actually, it's uncommon not to have sex before marriage, as people often ridicule the ones who decides to wait. (Which I think you shouldn't, but I'm also aware that they do make it much harder for themselves to find a husband, as no man in Denmark that I know of, would want to marry a virgin.)
26% of marriages in Denmark ends up in a divorce, so I wouldn't say that your statistics apply to us at least.

And it is true that divorces destroys families, but staying in a loveless marriage also does, perhaps even more so. If my parents fell out of love with each other, I'd rather they were divorced and never spoke, than living with them fighting and yelling, or perhaps even just ignoring each other at home. Luckily my parents are still very much in love with each other.

fit4mom

Yes sometimes it is used as medication as it is one of the cheapest forms. I am only replying to the premarital sex par. But if you asked for a consus of teens on BC, as has been interviewed on TV, the majority would say that they not only are on it but are having premarital sex and many parents and teens say that the parents know and they are both in agreement that the BC is to prevent pregnancy. As stated based on the above fore mentioned reasons, I am against premarital and no I don't suspect anyone on BC to have Premarital sex as I have been around the foster system my whole life (adopted not foster but my mom knows people) and the kids are required by the state to be on BC. So I do not judge those on it. But through obtaining info and the risk of divorce that statistically goes with it and all the pain that it causes and the reason a majority are on it and the mentality that does go with it is why I am not for it. But like that if for medical reasons (ovarian systs and the like) as well as pot for cancer (same reason as medication and no I'm not going into that subject just saying there are times these things come into play) I'm not against it. But those reasons are not all that common.

submissivelyserving

i know several girls who were virgins when they married and a few teenagers who have decided to wait for marriage. i think the best thing is to prepare our young girls before they are confronted with the option to have or not to have sex. a fireman prepare to fight fires before a fire, a doctor learns to operate before he has to do surgery. are children are smart and intelligent and some of them do listen. you may have feelings, thats part of life, but you don't have to obey your feelings, you are in control of you actions, your feelings are not in control. we need to teach our children not to get in situations that you can't handle. a lot of kissing and touching may lead you somewhere you don't want to go. if you can't get a grown married man (many of our politicians) to use protection when he is cheating on his wife, can you really trust a teenager to take a pill everyday, just in case. we need to be honest with our children and show the the ugly side of getting pregnant out of wedlock. it use to be shame in it.

bprague

I am a strong supporter of BC. I always think the argument that taking BC makes you more promiscuous, or able to cheat as pretty darned silly. I've been on birth control since I was 17 (22 now). My mom wanted us all to go on it before we were in college- just in case. It helps with my cramps, and I do like that when things got serious between my boyfriend and me I was/am given another level of protection.

Really, if someone's daughter wants birth control, not having it is unlikely to stop her from having sex. Having them would prevent a lot of unfortunate accidents. And it would make the girl more open to discussion about safety. I'd rather be informed than ignorant of my (hypothetical) daughter's life. I would simply inform her that she needs to also use a condom to prevent transmission of diseases. No excuses, use a condom. Heck, my mom helped me find nonlatex condoms when my doc thought I was allergic to the latex. My friend wouldn't go on birth control for fear of her mom finding out- (she's bloody 21) but she is sure as heck having sex. I really feel like if you are accepting of the reality (ie. your kid is probably having sex even if you are uber against it), you can really educate and help them grow into mature and responsible adults.

fit4mom

The statistic for premarital relationships staying married is very low plus. The world in whole has a "as long as it aint hurting anyone, laissez-faire attitude about these things. There is such a lose look at the whole subject of sex that we now have a married 40 something mayor having sex with a 14 year old boy and having his baby. Men having sex with prostitute toddlers, and so on and so on. Yes some go punished but the majority Don't. So while society keeps losing the boundaries and waining on it's view of moralities, the dangers and such in society will continue to get worse. The implications are more than one individual making a choice. When I buy a product, it pays taxes, covers overhead to run the store, puts food on the owners table, employs people to work, to feed their family to pay for the visit to the ER.....
Not just that, but along with devaluing (making sex a non moral issue) you have groups like The North American Man/Boy Love Association (NAMBLA) who I obviously don't need to explain. The odds stack themselves over all against an individual who does this. It's a matter of pushing the boundaries and becoming a situation where nothing is bad anymore, everyman for themselves. It does all tie together. It's like the fact that people live behind bars (Home windows and locked doors) and criminals walk free. Denmark is actually at 44.5% divorce rate.
http://www.darndivorce.com/divorce-rates-around-the-world/

veganbaum

To equate premarital sex to likelihood of divorce is not a direct line. Sorry, it just isn't. If someone chooses to wait for marriage, they obviously live within a certain culture and they view marriage in a certain way. Someone who chooses to have premarital sex has a different culture and likely a slightly different view of marriage. Some who wait until marriage may not get divorced even if they are extremely unhappy because it goes against their religious values; some who don't wait might get divorced because they didn't take marriage seriously enough to begin with, didn't discuss life goals, money, children, etc (these are just two examples, in no way am I saying this is everyone). The point being, having premarital sex on its own does not increase your chances of divorce, it is your entire cultural value system and situational circumstances that determine that. There isn't a straight line. It doesn't make sense to say - oh, if you have premarital sex you are likely to get divorced. And relationships are changing. The Census Bureau has discussed adding a new category for partners who live together and are not married because those types of relationships are on the rise. And that doesn't mean just young people "shacking up" or whatever you want to call it, that includes partners who have children together and simply have no desire to get married. Just because a couple isn't married, doesn't mean they aren't in a committed and loving relationship that will last for the rest of their lives.

bprague

I don't know that you can blame all this on society loosing it's morals. I mean... prostitution has been around for centuries, infidelity as well. Divorce rates are high probably because there is no longer a huge stigma attached to them. Does not having a divorce make you more moral? My grandparents stayed together because that's what you had to do as a roman catholic but does it make anyone less moral to divorce? And I've had premarital sex but does that mean I'm more likely to divorce my future husband (assuming I have sex with him before marriage). Your facts are correlational (science speak for not proving anything). A higher rate of divorce may correlate with sex before marriage but we cannot deduce the nature of this correlation. I'm not sold.

And I don't think you can say boy/man or otherwise statutory rape situations are "not hurting anyone" situations. Those are clearly situations where people are hurt. I don't think you find anyone but sexual predators who find that just fine.

fit4mom

So at what point do we draw the line being as sex itself is as treated a non moral non ethical issue. With all the crimes that it coexists with. When sex is had before marriage it does dilute the standard of it and thus makes divorce a more viable standard. It treats marriage as an after thought. And divorce causes allot of consequences. It also causes the rise of premarital sex as allot of children incline to have premarital sex when their parents divorce. When the mentality is out there that there is no clear standard it allows us to make up our own rules and that never leads to any good.

Rsjessen

Denmark is actually at 44.5% divorce rate.
http://www.darndivorce.com/divorce-rates-around-the-world/

I'm well aware you don't speak Danish, but not only according to my socialstudy teacher at my college, but also this site:
http://www.psykoweb.dk/parforhold/skilsmisse1.htm
and this site:
http://www.rikket.dk/hvorfor-bliver-saa-mange-skilt-i-danmark-.aspx
Claims for it to 27% And I'd personally rather trust a Danish site about issues in Denmark than an foreign BLOG, that has wikipedia listed as it's source. Although, if you look at your site, you can see that USA has a much higher divorce % than Denmark, as America is the second highest in the world.

bprague

Let me ask: what is the standard of sex? What does it mean to you?

Because it means commitment and love to me. I won't be getting married before I'm 30 at the rate I'm going with school, so is it fair to say that that expression of love and commitment is wrong and off limits? What makes marriage so much greater than a long term commitment?

I also want to point out that it seems like many of these "wait for sex" people get married very young. I would go as far to say that sex is natural and biological urge. Marriage is an institution based on the collective advantage of the families involved. What is more sacred? Love and the physical expression of it, or the legal documentation of it?

Rsjessen

You keep on trying to draw an direct line between sex and criminal acts. I would like to see some actual studies on this, rather than your own pondering. I have seen more proof that religion leads to criminal acts than sex does.
You seem to have some issues with people having sex before marriage, which you are allowed to have, but these issues need to be based on actual studies and proven theories before you can use them in an argument.

bprague

You keep on trying to draw an direct line between sex and criminal acts. I would like to see some actual studies on this, rather than your own pondering. I have seen more proof that religion leads to criminal acts than sex does.
You seem to have some issues with people having sex before marriage, which you are allowed to have, but these issues need to be based on actual studies and proven theories before you can use them in an argument.

Things I find funny in this situation: murder of spouses. criminal acts associated with marriage

fudgebudget

As a former teenager, I know that they are all dumb. There are so few exceptions that it's not even noteworthy.

Consequently, birth control for any teenager is a FANTASTIC idea. Best case scenario, they don't need it and will have some time to get used to being responsible enough to take it on a regular basis to ensure that it's actually effective. Worst case scenario, they do need it and it works (if taken properly).

I believe both of these options to be better than a pregnant 15 year old.

However, it is also very important to tell dumb teenagers that birth control - unless it's a condom (which doesn't require a Rx, so I'm assuming that's not the kind this thread is about) - does not protect against diseases, and that no matter what your other dumb teenager partner says, you should not trust them to be disease-free. Rx birth control is a back up for a teenager, not a primary line of defense.

I just think that if your teenager asks for birth control, it should be a no-brainer to say, "Yes." The REAL conversation needs to be about trust and love and what makes a relationship worth the risks of being sexually active.

fit4mom

America is also on the highest decline of morals. So it totally makes sense. Here we're completely declining on all issues of morality and it's not gonna get better any time soon. You name it were declining in it. Were being completely undone as "the melting pot" grows bigger which causes the country in whole to want a one size fits all constitution and a majority here believe they are entitled it doesn't suprise me. When you have so many comming here with different faiths and religions and beliefs it can cause a collapse because to those people in general, the laws of the land don't apply. This is proven by the rise in crime and violation of laws that occur and the ones left paying the price are the ones born here. If you are American you get the consequence in general. Recently on the news we had a case where a lady got hit by an illegal and when she told the police they said it had to be reported to ICE and they said that immigration crimes are not priority. This is not the only case. So it pretty much goes that experts see America collapsing in on itself. I hope not but you can't help but see the way it's going. Especially if you look at our debt crisis.

fudgebudget

Whoa. Did you really just link the "decline" of America to its diversity? Because that comes awfully close to some serious prejudices and greatly undermines your credibility.

fit4mom

You keep on trying to draw an direct line between sex and criminal acts. I would like to see some actual studies on this, rather than your own pondering. I have seen more proof that religion leads to criminal acts than sex does.
You seem to have some issues with people having sex before marriage, which you are allowed to have, but these issues need to be based on actual studies and proven theories before you can use them in an argument.

Things I find funny in this situation: murder of spouses. criminal acts associated with marriage

I'm talking about drawing the line. There are NO clear lines of morality anymore. Everyone defines it their own way and when you keep fudging the line and it get's blurry enough people use it as an excuse to behave however they want when that is the presidence that is set. When you skew the line of morality so bad that no one can define it you are put in the position of making up your own rules and that is where crime comes in. Criminals make up their own rules and the law is a non issue. Most crime goes unpunished.

tmarie2715

At least she is responsible enough to request Birth Control.

And felt comfortable enough with you to ask you for it, rather than sneak around or get it behind your back, which in some states she can.

I plan on having open discourse with my son about sex and informing him of the many consequences and also benefits. I hope on the spinning rotation of the Earth he is smart and waits until he is emotionally ready, but I know the part of his brain that helps adult and rational thinking won't be developed until 25. I'm going to educate him and let him make informed decisions. The end!

tmarie2715

America is also on the highest decline of morals. So it totally makes sense. Here we're completely declining on all issues of morality and it's not gonna get better any time soon. You name it were declining in it. Were being completely undone as "the melting pot" grows bigger which causes the country in whole to want a one size fits all constitution and a majority here believe they are entitled it doesn't suprise me. When you have so many comming here with different faiths and religions and beliefs it can cause a collapse because to those people in general, the laws of the land don't apply. This is proven by the rise in crime and violation of laws that occur and the ones left paying the price are the ones born here. If you are American you get the consequence in general. Recently on the news we had a case where a lady got hit by an illegal and when she told the police they said it had to be reported to ICE and they said that immigration crimes are not priority. This is not the only case. So it pretty much goes that experts see America collapsing in on itself. I hope not but you can't help but see the way it's going. Especially if you look at our debt crisis.

LOL. Okay, lady. People who are not your ethnicity = bad. Got it!

tmarie2715

As a former teenager, I know that they are all dumb. There are so few exceptions that it's not even noteworthy.

Consequently, birth control for any teenager is a FANTASTIC idea. Best case scenario, they don't need it and will have some time to get used to being responsible enough to take it on a regular basis to ensure that it's actually effective. Worst case scenario, they do need it and it works (if taken properly).

I believe both of these options to be better than a pregnant 15 year old.

However, it is also very important to tell dumb teenagers that birth control - unless it's a condom (which doesn't require a Rx, so I'm assuming that's not the kind this thread is about) - does not protect against diseases, and that no matter what your other dumb teenager partner says, you should not trust them to be disease-free. Rx birth control is a back up for a teenager, not a primary line of defense.

I just think that if your teenager asks for birth control, it should be a no-brainer to say, "Yes." The REAL conversation needs to be about trust and love and what makes a relationship worth the risks of being sexually active.

Very well said.

Rsjessen

Uhm yeah ok, have you actually bothered to look at the situation in other countries?
Because we have as much immigration here as you have in America, our country is as much of a melting pot as yours, and we have to adjust to as many cultures as you do. In Germany there's currently a large debate in the country as to whether or not the should consider Islam one of their main religions as they have so many Muslims in their country that it's actually a just as large of an religion as many others.
In Norway this summer a man (driven by his Christian-beliefs) killed 80 children as a protest against the country's decline from "morals". America is not the only country "suffering" under the effect of the melting pot, the world world is being globalized, and I personally think it's a good thing.

Also, by your logic, Greece should be in big trouble, as they have a lot more debt than America.