Rude people

sheclimbsrocks

Did the Tea scald her when you tossed it in her face?

That's what I was thinking!

I look at it this way - she is a miserable person who you only had the displeasure of dealing with once. She has to live her miserable life with her miserable self. Feel sorry for her and believe in karma!

OutiR

So sorry about the whole incident - and all the other rude attacks so many has faced!

People like that always exists. What ever we do, who or where ever we are, what ever we look like, there is always someone who just randomly picks us up and throws the s**t on our face. S**t about weight, looks, competence, behaviour, status, age, etc. When it happens, I wish I had the inner peace to remember that it is HIS/HER s**t, not mine.

I loved so many of these witty replies other members created but what really hit me was the one member who said that if we just hit back we are no better. Do we need to be better? Maybe, since there is this law of karma, what goes around, comes around, if not in this life then the next. And if that person is "evil expert" it also might be difficult to beat her/him in his own style if it's not ours. In rare case it's possible his/her life has just shaddered (cancer, divorce, bankrupty, child died) and she's this close to make a suicide - who knows what's going on there!?

But we are no dirt matts so it would be good to have a quick reply to remain our dignity. Something that would be classy, intelligent and might even make the other person change a view. Something to give us "10 points" since most likely there is others who have overheard the conversation and will draw conclusions of both parties.

Hmmm... starting to plan my standard reply for similar situation... Ideas?

boojacobs

that is really rude, i would have been like, oh dont talk about your self like that, then walked away, but thats just me, and yeah that EXSTREMLY rude...

kmbrooks15

You should have responded by saying, "Well I hate listening to JERKS (or whatever synonym you feel comfortable with!) speak!"

Some people just don't seem to have a brain-to-mouth filter that functions properly. Unbelievable.

Don't let it get you down, though...you are here learning to do the right things. What you can do is hope that when you lose all your weight, you run into her somewhere again. You can march up and confront her about what she said.

sunburntpeach

Wow... people really can be SO RUDE... I really hope that one ill-mannered person's comment doesn't deter you one step frmo your goals. KUDOS to you for goingto the Dunkin' Donuts and ordering just a tea! I love their coffee but I'm afraid to step near the place for fear I'd want to eat every blueberry cake donut they own.

At the end of the day, it's all about how you feel, and how proud you are of your own accomplishments. I have a friend that always says to me "you can't control what other people say or do, but you can control how you feel about it"... be grateful that your problem is just WEIGHT, not a sick soul that feels the need to strike out at others.

Ugh. Still mad!

iAMaPhoenix

I haven't been on MFP for very long and have not posted anything yet. I feel the need to post this because I cannot believe how rude some people can be!! Not people on here, people in public...
I took my three year old to Dunkin Donuts this AM because I promised him a hot chocolate... I was good, I got a small tea with skim milk and splenda... No donut, muffin or greasy sandwiches... Some lady was staring at me making the strangest face...
So I said to her, "do we know eachother?" I was very friendly... She said "No I just really hate watching fat people eat!"
I was devastated!! I wasn't even eating, I had a tea... I must admit, I cried on the way home:(

That tea would have accidently found it's way on her shoes when I tripped...

suelegal

My comment to her would have been something along the lines of "my mother always told me if I can't say something good about someone, to keep my mouth shut. Sounds like you needed to learn that from your mother"

ScoobyBearGP

I know how bad that hurts, but please don't let that bother you or ruin your progress. I believe you did wonderful in not eating anything. Kepp up the good work, and forget her !!!

rissuhbissuh

Oh my goodness! I am so sorry for that lady's ignorance. She was the one staring at you, so it's her own fault for watching anyone (big or small) eat.
Just remember that you are fabulous and are looking to change your life for the better. You took the step to be on MFP, right? I hope that we can become friends and help encourage each other throughout this journey

MB_Positif

What the heck!? That is ridiculous! I would have definitely thrown my drink at her, OR killed her with freakish kindness. I used to waitress and when people were jerks to me I was freakishly nice to them, I know it made them feel like crap afterwards!

LynnMichelleB

Ok, I just have to say something. If I had been in the situation, I would have to say" well I can lose weight, but you will always be a B****". Just my opinion, and keep up the good work, and don't let ugly bring you down. Know that you are doing great and becoming healthier, fitter, and better each day. Have a great day!

KyleB65

WTF!!
Next time remember the words of Winston Churchill when he was accused of being drunk.
"Yes, I am drunk but you Lady Astor are ugly. Tomorrow I shall be sober but you shall still be ugly!"
So, if/when you get another comment like this throw it back at them. "Yes, I am fat/overweight, but you are rude and inconsiderate. I am working on being healthier but you will always be rude and inconsiderate!"

brit49

WOW!!!! I cant believe people are so rude, my goodness, You just have to ignore ignorance.

CannibalisticVegetarian

That woman deserves a punch in the baby-maker.

Truer words were never spoken. Spot on. Spot on. I'd wish her weight related troubles in the near future, but I'm one who believes in Karma.. and so I don't need that on my chest.

OutiR

I have an online friend from the south and she has the perfect comeback for people who say rude and cruel things. "Bless your heart Darling. Do you realize you said that outloud? You must be so embarassed. Let's just both pretend you didn't say that."

Love this!! Kill 'em with kindness!!

YES! This is great :-)

kmihalik516

For some reason, it is very "in vogue" to be rude today, and to take it to a vile, personal level. But at the end of the day, you cannot control others. Do NOT let this obviously small and miserable person defeat you on any level. You have chosen to put yourself on a good path; revel in that. Read all of these posts of support and know that for every one person that behaves in this manner, there are many, many of us out here that are lifting you up and supporting you.

ilookthetype

I have an online friend from the south and she has the perfect comeback for people who say rude and cruel things. "Bless your heart Darling. Do you realize you said that outloud? You must be so embarassed. Let's just both pretend you didn't say that."

Southern women say the most biting things in the politest ways.

mklatsky

I'm sorry- I don't have much patience for people who would say things like that. Your reaction was admirable, although mine would have been more like "Well, I hate listening to stupid people speak!". Wouldn't accomplish much and I *might* feel better.
But all I can say is- YOU sound like a great person. The other person- not so much.

TitanianEternal

i really really woulda loved to have been there for that...make sure they know i have no problem going back to jail...

AZackery

I'm sorry that you have experienced that. It's easy for thin people to say ugly things to overweight people. The lady better pray that she doesn't become overweight. She doesn't know how you feel, but if she walk in your shoes one day, she will.

People can be ugly. Keep your head up and let the negativity flow down your back and bury it in the ground with your foot. You have to be bigger than the negative people.

KaleidoscopeEyes1056

What the hell!?!?!? If I were you I would have gotten up and bought a donut or something, and eaten it while looking her right in the eye.

I agree, finish it like a beast!
and, it's really horrible that happened to you! I can't believe somebody would say that, especially if you weren't eating anything! And if you were, and she didn't want to see it, the mature thing to do would be to look away...

boston6

Seriously, if I had witnessed this incident, I would have been compelled to involve myself in the conversation. The OP is a classy person for showing restraint. I would not have been so nice.

milimolimandi44

OMG how do ppl like that live with themselves, i hope all the posts have made you feel better take care x

smblakely

That's horrible. I am so sorry. There is nothing I can say to excuse her ignorance, but try not to let it get to you. Use those words to motivate you and say a prayer for her. She obviously needs it. People have no couth to them anymore. I had a young like high school age kid yell out of his car window "Big girls need love too"; all I did on the way home was cry, but it's motivated me even more.

CaptainGordo

Six pages of support from complete strangers, offsetting one sour turd out there.

There is still hope for humanity.

Grimmerick

Okay so I am sure there were more overweight people around, I would have repeated what she said very loudly and made sure every other heavy person there heard it. Then I would have starting screaming in her face until she either hit me (then I can press charges) or left out of fear and shame.

Yakisoba

That's not rude. That's senile. o.o Who does that?

kristyshears

I cannot believe that somebody would be that nasty! I've heard that said to somebody in a restaurant before. These people that say things like that must be so self centred... If it bothers them that much maybe they should go sit in their car and eat!

midwifekelley2350

That woman deserves a punch in the baby-maker.

My friend _beachgirl_ would say she deserves a kick in the taco... :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

right square in the taco!

Bonita_Lynne_58

My response would have been, "Well, at least I can lose weight. You are stuck being an *kitten* forever."

I like this response. But I would never have said it. I would have been in tears. The woman who said this is a bully! People bully out of their own inadequacies! Sorry you ran into this, especially with your 3 year old along. You're taking charge of your life and making positive changes. What's the rude woman doing other than being a b***h?