Tell loved ones they are overweight this Christmas

ngory07

And my reply would be "and you're a douche bag"

I am almost 7 lbs to a healthy bmi but when I was 300 lbs I didn't need anyone to TELL me I was fat. I have mirrors for that. People have to want to change. Love them and support them. That doesn't mean say its ok to eat that box of donuts but they really don't need your input. Just be there for them and lead by example. Hopefully when they see you losing and getting healthier they will ask and that's ur que to tell them about what you are doing to improve your eating habits. Just don't be rude. People can always lose weight but you can't change being a giant douche bag!!

Articeluvsmemphis

ehh, if you do it right and out of love, not a big deal. like I say I wish someone had told me sooner. that's just me.

Elizabeth_C34

People can always lose weight but you can't change being a giant douche bag!!

willow3eb

I have an uncle who for 2 Christmases in a row made half-drunk comments to me about my weight. Ruined Christmas for me both years. Now, after not seeing him since 2009, it'll be nice to throw it back in his face.

katismiles

Haha, I've told my mom she's overweight before she'll either yell or say that its genetic and then she'll eat an entire box of oreos herself. Halarious idea though

SCOUSERWENCH

and offend them? I dont think so.

jlnk

What a horrible, horrible idea.

SCOUSERWENCH

I wouldnt dare tell anyone how to live there life let alone dictate what they should eat. Saying something like this topic is about to a realtive you'd end up with a clip around the ear hole.

RunLiftEat

What is wrong with telling people the truth? Let's all tiptoe around issues and act like nothing is wrong. It works so well. Pretty soon they won't be babying people in the states, they will be treating them like a fetus.

brk_1982

My aunt told me I was getting fat over a year ago. I was pissed . The nerve of her when she needed to lose weight herslf. Yes it does hurt. But she was the only person in my family who was honest enough to tell me. I knew I was gaining weight but looking in the mirror I would not have considered myself as fat. Hearing it made me face it.

I was starting think I was the only one who didn't think having this conversation is the *worst* idea ever. No, it shouldn't be on Christmas Day, or in front of the whole family, but maybe if someone had said they were worried about me, I would have gotten my *kitten* together sooner! The last time I saw my mom, she commented that I don't look as "puffy and unhealthy" as I used to!! I was so mad that she said that when she'd never had the guts to say "You've put on enough weight that you're starting to look unhealthy and I'm concerned".

beatleschic87

Done. I told my cat he was a fat *kitten* and he just sat there and purred. *sigh* I hope he gets off my heater soon.

sunnyday789

If you look through other threads that ask "what started you to become more fit/healthier?" you rarely see someone post that they started because someone told them they were overweight.

24man

I might not like someone telling me I need to lose some weight, but I'll tell you, it's one of the things that will motivate me more than anything.

Elizabeth_C34

Done. I told my cat he was a fat *kitten* and he just sat there and purred. *sigh* I hope he gets off my heater soon.

LOL Nice!

ErinBeth7

My mother tried this 'Christmas approach' with me when I was 21 and had gained substantial weight after graduating from college and starting my first job - a 50+ hour a week desk job. Of course, she didn't do it gently or compassionately. In the middle of Christmas Eve dinner, she said 'Geez... stop eating already. Don't you see how fat you've become!'. I was crushed and humiliated.

OMGSH that is terrible! How mean!

No one in my family is really skinny, but they're not obese. We all indulge during the holidays and none of us would ever tell each other to stop eating because we've gotten too big. We all know we could lose a few, but we also like to enjoy life. If you restrict yourself of "goods" then you'll come to despise healthy choices and either be miserable or fall off the wagon. I say be comfortable with yourself and your choices. You can always take off what you put on....patience is the key.

kagenw

Overweight people don't need people telling them they're overweight - they ALREADY know. Christmas is probably the worst time to do it, too! I know from personal experience!

My mother tried this 'Christmas approach' with me when I was 21 and had gained substantial weight after graduating from college and starting my first job - a 50+ hour a week desk job. Of course, she didn't do it gently or compassionately. In the middle of Christmas Eve dinner, she said 'Geez... stop eating already. Don't you see how fat you've become!'. I was crushed and humiliated.

I had planned to stay for a full week to visit. But, I got in the car the next morning (after a very chilly Christmas breakfast) and drove back home and spent the rest of the holidays with my friends, instead of my family. I really didn't speak to my mother much for a few weeks.

A couple years later, when I was 23, I decided ON MY OWN that it was time to lose some weight.

I agree, my experience was similar. It's gotta depend on the person you're trying to tell. Be smart and if in doubt, wait till after Christmas day at least (and definitely not at the Christmas dinner table).

rocketpants

I'ts always a fun time of year to say. "I'd like to get serious with you, but I am afraid we would have fat children"

SCOUSERWENCH

Not being funny but the way people live aint got nothing to do with anyone. If people want to be over-weight then thats their choice. concentrate on worrying about the weight of the chip on your shoulder before you start opening your mouth and upsetting family members. Sorry had to be said.

ErinBeth7

Not once do I intend to tell her she's fat. But I do need to tell her her weight's creeping up--maybe she's not noticed

You really, truly, honestly believe she hasn't noticed? Good grief. I'm glad you're not *my* brother.

Actually, yes, I do believe she won't quite have noticed that her weight has been CREEPING up. As in, slowly, sometimes hardly noticeable, until you go up a size.

I've gained 10 lbs and I've noticed it without even getting on a scale! I'm still the same size and all my clothes fit. My shape just doesn't look as lean anymore! I'm pretty sure she's noticed.

keesh1123

I might not like someone telling me I need to lose some weight, but I'll tell you, it's one of the things that will motivate me more than anything.

THIS. I think it also depends on who it is coming from. I see that most ppl are stating that "fat people" already know that they are fat.

Well, from my own experience, I may realize that my clothes are beginning to fit a little tight, etc. and not really pay it much attention.

But when someone that knows me says, "hey, your getting a little chunky". I take that into consideration because now OTHER ppl can see it!

I assume most posters that are highly against this idea have struggled with weight most of their lives, in that case, it would probably be pointless for me to pull my obese cousin over to the side to divulge information that she clearly knows and has known for much of her life.

westcoastSW

First, I agree with many other posters here who opine that this probably isn't a wise idea in most North American households on Christmas.

However, it also made me think -- how often do we hear someone comment on someone who is too skinny? Whether it's directed at someone who has always been skinny/small-boned/whatever, or any of us MFPers who lost weight and want to lose more ("You don't need to lose anymore weight! You'll whither away!"). It's unfortunate that our society generally feels it's more acceptable to tell someone they're too skinny than it is to tell someone they're overweight. (I don't mean people with legitimate eating disorders, who really may be too underweight, although informing them of this is also really unhelpful.)

Lame double-standard :grumble:

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Elizabeth_C34

First, I agree with many other posters here who opine that this probably isn't a wise idea in most North American households on Christmas.

However, it also made me think -- how often do we hear someone comment on someone who is too skinny? Whether it's directed at someone who has always been skinny/small-boned/whatever, or any of us MFPers who lost weight and want to lose more ("You don't need to lose anymore weight! You'll whither away!"). It's unfortunate that our society generally feels it's more acceptable to tell someone they're too skinny than it is to tell someone they're overweight. (I don't mean people with legitimate eating disorders, who really may be too underweight, although informing them of this is also really unhelpful.)

Lame double-standard :grumble:

Very much agree with this. I feel like one's choice of body size and how they live is entirely up to them. No one should comment about it unless it's a genuine mental problem (food addiction, bulemia, anorexia, etc.).

VeganGal84

What a TERRIBLE idea. Please don't tell your loved ones that they are overweight unless they ask for your opinion about their weight, and even then, tread carefully.

_VoV

What a TERRIBLE idea. Please don't tell your loved ones that they are overweight unless they ask for your opinion about their weight, and even then, tread carefully.

^^THIS

SarabellPlus3

Worst idea ever. Is Christmas also the right time to tell a family member they are a pompous *kitten*, drama-*kitten*, idiot, or ****-stirrer? Because that's exactly what someone would have to be to say "Merry Christmas, FYI, you're fat." Are people under the impression that overwieght people are confused about what the term "overweight" means?

tmm01

Telling someone that they are overweight/fat/need to lose weight (no matter how gently) makes you the bad guy(or girl). It really does hurt a lot. Overweight people know that they are overweight, they don't need anybody else to remind them of the fact that they need to lose weight especially not during christmas.

Absolutely, I completely agree with you. I was that hugely overweight guy that people used to think it was acceptable to say was fat, gross, overweight and so on. It really does hurt. I have lost two stone because I wanted to change my habits for life. I never tell someone they are fat or thin. Instead I lead by example. Because of seeing my weight loss my sister, a friend at work and two close friends have also started losing weight. They just said, "If Paul can do it so can I".

Who needs sarcastic or nasty comments?!

Absolutely agree. 'Fat' people (i include myself in this) don't need telling - we already know. Since I have started losing weight. My husband has decided to give mfp a go, and is steadily losing. My sister - who doesn't need to loose - has decided to lose those extra couple of pounds. friends have also decided to take control of their eating and exercise habits. They didn't need me ( or anyone else) telling them about their weight. Led by example your success will be contagious.

tmm01

I might not like someone telling me I need to lose some weight, but I'll tell you, it's one of the things that will motivate me more than anything.

Before I started to change my lifestyle, if someone had told me I was fat - which was true - I would have just gone to the fridge to comfort eat. 'I'll do something about it tomorrow!'
Only once YOU make the decision, without pressure from others will you have the motivation to lose.

tmm01

I might not like someone telling me I need to lose some weight, but I'll tell you, it's one of the things that will motivate me more than anything.

Before I started to change my lifestyle, if someone had told me I was fat - which was true - I would have just gone to the fridge to comfort eat. 'I'll do something about it tomorrow!'
Only once YOU make the decision, without pressure from others will you have the motivation to lose.