Tell loved ones they are overweight this Christmas

fteale

I know what I would do if someone told me I was overweight....punch them.

It's no one else's business but your own, and it is unforgivably rude and insensitive to mention it. How to spoil Christmas in one easy step.

Lead by example. Many of my friends have lost weight since I have in a knock on effect.

Helenatrandom

I love this!!!! I think if people actually hear the words they will be less likely to engorge in front of the family during a big gathering which is also going to help with a less gain over the holiday weekend! I may just like this because I'm a weird person that just needs to be told hey your FAT or chubby, or requests my bf to tell me I need to do an extra 10 or 20 on the treadmill because I'm feeling a little fluffy in the mid section again! I think before this is yelled, there should obviously be some kind of relationship with the person, and discretion should be used while saying it, but if it needs to be said out loud than say it!!!!!!

Perfect! So that person can feel ostracized and munch on carrots sticks while everyone else gorges themselves on cakes, pies, and cookies!

Then next year when they are thinner they will be ostracized AGAIN for not eating the same crap everyone else is! It doesn't go away even with the weight loss. When I was fat, I had a few "helpful" family members make remarks implying that I needed to lose weight. So now when I turn down all that crap (50+ pounds later), I get more snide remarks because I "think I'm better than everyone else." BEFORE I lost the weight and told people I was trying to lose it, friends, family and coworkers made it a point to monitor everything that goes into my mouth. It's pretty sad when I have to keep my eating and exercise plan a secret from everyone.

I'm not even overweight anymore but it's left me with that permanent stigma. My weight was and still is open to everyone's interpretation. Sorry, this is a touchy subject with me, I should probably just go away now...

Wait, so you're saying I should eat a bunch of cookies, cakes, and pies this Christmas because the rest of my family is? Just so I won't feel "bad" about eating some veggies? I think something is wrong here...

Uh...No... she was saying "damned if you do, damned if you don't", and by the very same people.
"You can please some of the people some of the time, all of the people some of the time, some of the people all of the time, but you can never please all of the people all of the time." I think she'd add "and some people you will NEVER please!"
But no where does she indicate that gorging is a good idea.

rml_16

i think it depends on the person also! If they were skinny and started getting fat most people dont realize they are even getting big, i would much rather a family memeber tell me "hey your getting chunky " than let it go and me not notice and keep gaining weight! But thats just me

I was skinny. Weight crept up on me.

Trust me, I knew.

Yeah, I was thin too and I definitely noticed, but it would have been a lot more motivating to hear it from someone else. It's easy to get complacent with yourself and your body. I kept thinking, "oh, it's just two pounds, I'll lose it next week." But then it was another 2 pounds, another 2 pounds, another 2 pounds... you see where I'm going. If someone would have said, "hey, you don't look like you used to" I might have started getting back in shape sooner and it wouldn't be so difficult...

Good for you. I felt crappy about my body with just one extra pound. I don't need someone to tell me. I don't get complacent because I don't like it. Being insulted isn't motivating to me and I dare say most people.

d2footballJRC

My family dinner would turn to this, if someone started spouting stuff off like that..

therenegadeangel

I died.

But seriously, I don't think that's very wise...or appropriate. They already know they're overweight, you saying it isn't going to lead them into seeing the light. It's already flashing in their faces!

Plus, what kind of douche would I be to tell my Mom she's a fatty? Jeeze, flame to the already burning fire.

Crystal_Pistol

I tell my friends and family they're fat as hell all the time. Not like they don't know it. I'm fat, I know it. Not one of those things you can hide, so it's not shocking news. Honesty is what I expect from the people who claim to love me. I told my best friend she better do what I'm doing or she is gonna be a hater because I'm leaving her behind- fat by her damn self!!

Crystal_Pistol

Sometimes you need to hear the truth to take action.

Contrarian

I'm going to tell my loved ones how stupid they are. I'll save telling them they are overweight for next year. The year after that, I will tell them they're cheap.

sunkisses

I'm considering having it printed across a birthday cake or two instead, And when they cut into the "cake" it'll be a stack of baby carrots with ranch dressing oozing out.

It's too late for me to hand-make bacon-scented holiday cards for all my fat family and friends like I wanted to.

sagetracey

It took my husband telling me that he was terrified of the CONSEQUENCES of my morbid obesity for me to do something about it. When he told me that he was scared that I would end up in a wheelchair or even worse, die, because my weight was so out of control, I understood that it wasn't all about me.

And he is my greatest supporter every single day. He eats healthily with me and we exercise together every day - which means that we are both reaping the rewards of having a healthier partner.

Sometimes telling someone is the kindest thing you can do for them - but think about how you couch your message.

HouseTargaryen

OMG. OMG. OMGGG!!!! I'm literally lmao right now.. like tears in my eyesss!!! :sad: :laugh:


I'm not sure how you can politely tell someone that they should really consider losing weight.. but then again.. people are just too sensitive about everything anymore. I do not advocate Dr. Phil's method :laugh:

Elizabeth_C34

I'm considering having it printed across a birthday cake or two instead, And when they cut into the "cake" it'll be a stack of baby carrots with ranch dressing oozing out.

It's too late for me to hand-make bacon-scented holiday cards for all my fat family and friends like I wanted to.

I would LOVE a bacon FLAVORED edible card, though I would never know who it's from because it would be gone too soon

crzyone

I heard Rush Limbaugh talking about this on his show today. I don't think it's wise to tell our loved ones they are fat. Most fat people KNOW it already!! I've had people inform me of that before and all it did was depress me and make me want to eat more. Of course, I know I'm fat!!! I didn't and don't need anyone to tell me that and if someone does need to be told then they have more problems to deal with then just being fat!!!

sunkisses

I'm considering having it printed across a birthday cake or two instead, And when they cut into the "cake" it'll be a stack of baby carrots with ranch dressing oozing out.

It's too late for me to hand-make bacon-scented holiday cards for all my fat family and friends like I wanted to.

I would LOVE a bacon FLAVORED edible card, though I would never know who it's from because it would be gone too soon

It'll need a paper towel envelope.

recesq

Do people who aren't overweight, think that we, the overweight, don't know we are fat? What good does it do to tell someone what they already know!? Except to make that person feel superior.

A much better message to relay is that "I am deathly afraid you aren't going to still be alive next Christmas and I can't bear to live the rest of my life without you in it. What can I do to give you what you need in order to get more healthy?" And if that fat person is like me, a food ADDICT, a carb ADDICT, a self-medicator who uses FOOD as their DRUG, you MIGHT have a 50-50 chance of getting thru....but its like telling an alcoholic to stop drinking....it won't happen unless they really want it to happen.

DannyMussels

Can't wait to leave this on a note for Santa, instead of a plate of cookies...

dayylight

I have lived with my grandfather since I was 14 and he constantly tells me I need to lose weight. When I was fourteen and fifteen this seriously affected me to the point where I would just leave. I spent two Christmas, two Thanksgivings, and an Easter by myself at this 24hour cafe by my house. Maybe if he had taken me aside to tell me but he has this habit of doing that type of thing in front of everyone. He likes to humiliate people. One of my favorite cousin doesn't come to any family gatherings because she is so tired of having him make horrible comments like that. And it definitely has done a lot of damage to my self-esteem.

However I like even less the way my aunts and cousins are constantly asking if I've lost weight, in a backhanded compliment sort of way. Like, no, I actually gained ten pounds, thanks for pointing it out. At least my grandpa is straightforward about it. In front of the entire family at dinner but still, honest.

On the other hand if my brother were to take me aside and tell me he were worried about me I might take it more seriously, as he also struggled with his weight for a long time. This would never happen though seeing as my brother and I are super close. We go to the gym together all the time and he constantly encourages me in my weight loss journey. If anyone else were to mention it though I would probably just be upset.

So, just don't do it. If someone is overweight, chances are there is someone in their life they are talking to about it. If that's not you then just mind your own business.

mabug01

My mother (also fat) waited for me to talk about my weight problem and then she sincerely said, "I think this is just a temporary problem for you." She made me feel like she believed in me and that I could lose the weight. She has been gone for 3 years now and I will never forget that she believed in me.

mabug01

I hate being a thread killer. someone help me out here.

1953Judith

I hate being a thread killer. someone help me out here.

Out of compassion for the potential thread killer, I post.

In my experience, I most successfully receive and process the advice, wisdom and judgements of others about me and my flaws when I ask for it or when they have taken the time to approach me privately and compassionately. Most people I know would not take kindly "fly by" commentary and "concern" about weight in a holiday social setting especially from loved ones.

castadiva

I hate being a thread killer. someone help me out here.

Out of compassion for the potential thread killer, I post.

In my experience, I most successfully receive and process the advice, wisdom and judgements of others about me and my flaws when I ask for it or when they have taken the time to approach me privately and compassionately. Most people I know would not take kindly "fly by" commentary and "concern" about weight in a holiday social setting especially from loved ones.

Beautifully said!

elcieloesazul

This is a hard topic. I think if someone is overweight enough to mention it over eggnog at Christmas, THEY ALREADY KNOW. I think telling them could shame them or embarrass them. I think it would take a special person to look you in the eye and say, "You're right. Thank you." That being said, outside factors are often great motivators to loose weight, in my experience. Instead of saying, "Hey, Joe, enough cookies!" maybe invite this person to do something active WITH you, or introduce them to a healthy recipe. SHOW them, don't TELL them how to change.

Kacy21

well i can say first hand that doing this over the christmas period is a terrible idea. Recently visited my family who very insensitively came out with "you have put weight on, do you not go to the gym anymore" which really upset me - i haven't actually put any weight on and i go to the gym 2/3 times a week. Another family mmber then joined in by saying that going to the gym was a really good idea then proceeded to post this article 'tell loved ones they are overweight this christmas' on facebook blatently aimed at me! so safe to say im feeling rubbish now and feel like i shouldn't be enjoying christmas and all the treats that go with it! To put things into perspective im a size 12(UK) and have not put weight on, however if i had i still wouldn't appeciate being told over christmas and especially in such an insenstive way.

rml_16

I tell my friends and family they're fat as hell all the time. Not like they don't know it. I'm fat, I know it. Not one of those things you can hide, so it's not shocking news. Honesty is what I expect from the people who claim to love me. I told my best friend she better do what I'm doing or she is gonna be a hater because I'm leaving her behind- fat by her damn self!!

So then your best friend must be dieting and exercising now? No? 'Cause if this worked, she would be.

BobbyClerici

I tell my friends and family they're fat as hell all the time. Not like they don't know it. I'm fat, I know it. Not one of those things you can hide, so it's not shocking news. Honesty is what I expect from the people who claim to love me. I told my best friend she better do what I'm doing or she is gonna be a hater because I'm leaving her behind- fat by her damn self!!

So then your best friend must be dieting and exercising now? No? 'Cause if this worked, she would be.

I just severed all my connections with fat friends - SNIP!

And when one asked why, I just said "my interests have changed. I no longer am much into an unhealthy lifestyle." And when I invited fattie to the gym for a workout or offered to write up a diet plan, he stopped calling.

Good!
I don't need losers in my life.

rml_16

I tell my friends and family they're fat as hell all the time. Not like they don't know it. I'm fat, I know it. Not one of those things you can hide, so it's not shocking news. Honesty is what I expect from the people who claim to love me. I told my best friend she better do what I'm doing or she is gonna be a hater because I'm leaving her behind- fat by her damn self!!

So then your best friend must be dieting and exercising now? No? 'Cause if this worked, she would be.

I just severed all my connections with fat friends - SNIP!

And when one asked why, I just said "my interests have changed. I no longer am much into an unhealthy lifestyle." And when I invited fattie to the gym for a workout or offered to write up a diet plan, he stopped calling.

Good!
I don't need losers in my life.

The more of your posts I read, the more I find you to be a lovely, wonderful, warm and beautiful human being. Really, the Catholic Church should consider more people like you for sainthood.

MuzikirM

I totally agree that overweight people dont need to be reminded during the holidays that they are overweight. Just encourage people to get healthy like suggest you two go walking 3 times a week together. I think I would be mortified if someone told me I was fat during at a holiday gathering......thanks for ruining my time of comfort and joy

Helenatrandom

I tell my friends and family they're fat as hell all the time. Not like they don't know it. I'm fat, I know it. Not one of those things you can hide, so it's not shocking news. Honesty is what I expect from the people who claim to love me. I told my best friend she better do what I'm doing or she is gonna be a hater because I'm leaving her behind- fat by her damn self!!

So then your best friend must be dieting and exercising now? No? 'Cause if this worked, she would be.

I just severed all my connections with fat friends - SNIP!

And when one asked why, I just said "my interests have changed. I no longer am much into an unhealthy lifestyle." And when I invited fattie to the gym for a workout or offered to write up a diet plan, he stopped calling.

Good!
I don't need losers in my life.

The more of your posts I read, the more I find you to be a lovely, wonderful, warm and beautiful human being. Really, the Catholic Church should consider more people like you for sainthood.

I'm not exactly a theologian, but as a Religious Education teacher, I feel the need to point out that the Catholic Church requires people to be dead first before the cause for someone's canonization can be begun. It also helps if the said dead person is Catholic. (My apologies to all dead non Catholics).

*Yes I do understand sarcasm. My own sense of humor is rather dry before 7 am...

rml_16

I tell my friends and family they're fat as hell all the time. Not like they don't know it. I'm fat, I know it. Not one of those things you can hide, so it's not shocking news. Honesty is what I expect from the people who claim to love me. I told my best friend she better do what I'm doing or she is gonna be a hater because I'm leaving her behind- fat by her damn self!!

So then your best friend must be dieting and exercising now? No? 'Cause if this worked, she would be.

I just severed all my connections with fat friends - SNIP!

And when one asked why, I just said "my interests have changed. I no longer am much into an unhealthy lifestyle." And when I invited fattie to the gym for a workout or offered to write up a diet plan, he stopped calling.

Good!
I don't need losers in my life.

The more of your posts I read, the more I find you to be a lovely, wonderful, warm and beautiful human being. Really, the Catholic Church should consider more people like you for sainthood.

I'm not exactly a theologian, but as a Religious Education teacher, I feel the need to point out that the Catholic Church requires people to be dead first before the cause for someone's canonization can be begun. It also helps if the said dead person is Catholic. (My apologies to all dead non Catholics).

*Yes I do understand sarcasm. My own sense of humor is rather dry before 7 am...

Well, in Bobby's case, I really think they should make an exception. I mean, the world would just be a much better place if more of us were like him. Clearly, that whole "peace, love, joy" thing isn't working. We need to worry far less about being nice and kind and far more about what we weigh.

Helenatrandom

I tell my friends and family they're fat as hell all the time. Not like they don't know it. I'm fat, I know it. Not one of those things you can hide, so it's not shocking news. Honesty is what I expect from the people who claim to love me. I told my best friend she better do what I'm doing or she is gonna be a hater because I'm leaving her behind- fat by her damn self!!

So then your best friend must be dieting and exercising now? No? 'Cause if this worked, she would be.

I just severed all my connections with fat friends - SNIP!

And when one asked why, I just said "my interests have changed. I no longer am much into an unhealthy lifestyle." And when I invited fattie to the gym for a workout or offered to write up a diet plan, he stopped calling.

Good!
I don't need losers in my life.

The more of your posts I read, the more I find you to be a lovely, wonderful, warm and beautiful human being. Really, the Catholic Church should consider more people like you for sainthood.

I'm not exactly a theologian, but as a Religious Education teacher, I feel the need to point out that the Catholic Church requires people to be dead first before the cause for someone's canonization can be begun. It also helps if the said dead person is Catholic. (My apologies to all dead non Catholics).

*Yes I do understand sarcasm. My own sense of humor is rather dry before 7 am...

Well, in Bobby's case, I really think they should make an exception. I mean, the world would just be a much better place if more of us were like him. Clearly, that whole "peace, love, joy" thing isn't working. We need to worry far less about being nice and kind and far more about what we weigh.

I love my Church, I truly do, but the RCC does NOT make exceptions.