Can a Fit, Sexy Girl Like a Fat Guy?
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This one is tough....before I started my weight loss journey, I would have said yes. However, now that I am making efforts to change what I eat, workout, and just generally take care of myself, I don't think I could be with someone that doesn't.
People get fat because they don't watch what they eat, they don't move around enough and they generally just let go. I can't find that attractive....0 -
Oh, hell yeah I gained weight because of emotional hurt. I'd like to see someone lose their job (and get screwed over by your work "friends" in the process) and both parents within a year and two months and come out completely unscathed emotionally. Actually, I wouldn't want to see someone like that because they'd have to be a frickin' cyborg.
I'm not afraid of someone with baggage. Emotional trauma happens to everyone, sooner or later. I'm afraid of someone who can't deal with it. If the worst that happened to me was packing on some extra pounds, that's a pretty mild side effect to your entire world crashing around you if you ask me.0 -
I love big guys, can;t be doing with skinny guys lol. When i say big tho, not like obese. If they have an attractive face then weight isnt always the be all and end all.0
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lol i am a chubby chaser but my boyfriend is ManArexic so i guess i go both ways lol0
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I sure hope so0
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There are a lot of guys on MFP that are single and may be struggling with dating at their current fitness level. I am dating here and there but have mentally put a lot of that activity on hold until I feel better about my appearance. For a number of reasons (none of them good) I let my fitness level get way off track and I'm embarrased about that for myself because I know better.
Not just guys! I stopped dating because I didn't want to be with anyone who would settle for being with me when I was 1) at my heaviest and 2) at my unhappiest.
So I decided not to get involved romantically with anyone for a while until I figured myself out and got my fat turned to fit.
...and I work with software as well, so I completely got your logic flow there!
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Not only for the attraction fact, but also because a woman wants someone who she can RELATE to - if the man is overweight, doesn't watch what he eats, and doesn't workout, how will they find some common ground to begin a conversation with? What about the first date when they go out to EAT at a resturaunt? To me, its a total turn off if a man doesn't care about his body or his appearance.
Seriously? Is that all you can talk about with someone? Is that the only place you can find common ground?
Silly me, going around having conversations about art and literature and politics and philosophy and stupid *kitten* like that.... (And music, movies, television, cartoons, and sometimes even serial killers.)0 -
Looks might be the original attraction but it's the personality that keeps you.
When I met my husband he wasn't buff or overweight (somewhere in the middle) he was lacking self confidence as his ex had cheated on him and then blamed him for it, and it wasn't his body that caught my eye - it was his eyes. He has the most lovely eyes (or I think so) when he smiles so do his eyes and I love that.
Buff guys are nice to look at, but in my experience, most (not all) of them are not the kind of people that you can be around all day everyday as they are very self absorbed and shallow.
I like a guy with a bit of meat on his bones, so much nicer to cuddle
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Absolutely. My DH was at his heaviest before we married -- my organization used to have live entertainment at its annual fundraiser and for a couple of years the entertainment (a woman) flirted with him shamelessly. "Hey, big daddy ..." :mad:0
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Okay ladies... I thought it would be interesting to hear what the MFP ladies have to say on the matter.
Can a fit and sexy girl like a fat guy?
Why or why not? (be totally honest)
I'd be curious how you would answer the same question about a fat woman. Would you like a fat woman? Why or why not?
I could absolutely fall in love with a fat girl. I like a pretty face and lots of personality and confidence and fun. If everything is right, I'm all in...0 -
My hubby is a big guy-- he's in the Navy and he does have a bit of a belly. He's actually the first bigger guy I've ever dated. I have to say I've never been treated so well. That was the defining thing for me, not his size. I do want him to be healthy (the Navy helps with that) but I like him to be cuddly. One issue we do have though is food-- we've had to learn to compromise with meal planning so that we're both happy. If it's the right person though a little compromise is no big deal. He counts on me to keep him eating his veggies and I count on him to remind me that sometimes you need a piece of cheesecake. 0
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I like my man cute in the face and thick in the waist.0
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Absolutely! However, if I was in a relationship with someone significantly overweight, I would worry about their health since i cared about the person, but wouldnt necessarily want them to lose weight for reasons other than health if they are happy. It wouldnt matter to me as long as they are a gentleman!0
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This one is tough....before I started my weight loss journey, I would have said yes. However, now that I am making efforts to change what I eat, workout, and just generally take care of myself, I don't think I could be with someone that doesn't.
That's me too! I care about my health & appearance now & I want a man that does too. Plus it's nice to have an exercise buddy who I can enjoy a salad with lol0 -
For me, it's all about compatibility. I don't care much about weight, but I do need someone who won't be annoyed by my desire to be active and eat healthfully. I've dated men who discouraged me from working out, choosing healthy food, ect, and it just didn't work out. Even when everything else was great, the lifestyle clash was hard to deal with.
So I guess my answer is yes and no. If a guy is naturally big, but still healthy and active then yes, absolutely. If the guy is a couch potato who doesn't want to go on adventures with me - then no.0 -
I'd pull back until I was rock solid, then go after a lady 15 years younger and start a new family with her. I play tennis with aguy 52 years old - peak condition. Once he got his former walrus looking body in shape, the quality of ladies went up, up, up!I'm curious as to why the question was even asked...
I asked the question for a couple reasons...
1) I wanted to prove what I already knew was true. And that is that, generally speaking, women are attracted to a man more for his intelligence, personality, wit, charm, etc. and less for his adonis-like physical appearance.
There are a lot of guys on MFP that are single and may be struggling with dating at their current fitness level. I am dating here and there but have mentally put a lot of that activity on hold until I feel better about my appearance. For a number of reasons (none of them good) I let my fitness level get way off track and I'm embarrased about that for myself because I know better.
And...
2) With the input of others, I wanted to develop an impression in my mind as to whether or not I really needed to pull back from pursuing dating during this transformational period in my life.
As you can imagine, I've considered at least some of the obvious pro's and con's to dating while being a chunky monkey. There are plenty of valid reasons to stop and to keep going. The programmer in me likes to understand that path ahead (even just a little) before jumping off the deep end.
All of your responses have been great and I appreciate you chiming in with your opinions. The real lesson learned here is that it's all about what's on the inside and that an investment on the outside is the icing on the cake that tastes so good.
This is a great group of people here at MFP and I'm glad to be amongst you.
kcwebguy
His gf is 28, cute and looking for marriage and family.
Can't beat that!0 -
I'm not super fit and sexy... I'm not fat either. I like pot bellies! You know those three male body types: Ectomoroh, mesomorph, and endomorph? (Apparently these are pretty widespread. I just discovered them...) I like endomorphs! Not necessarily FAT men, but men that fill doorways, and fill out button-up shirts. No scrawny wiry men for me.
I know my twin sister's the exact opposite. She goes for the rubber-band limbed Oxford men. She likes a thoroughbred, I like a clydesdale.0 -
I met my wife when we were in college, at a supposedly "shallow" time in our lives. I was first attracted to her because she knew logic theory, not because she was thin. I was overweight, but I was rocking the self-confidence at the time and she loved it. Even once I became obese, I have had friends lament to me that I am taken, since they would love to date me.
The thing is, even as my body fat grew and grew, I never stopped being active and I never stopped taking care of myself. I dressed sharply at work and I made sure my casual clothes flattered my figure. I worked harder than my coworkers and I played harder than my friends. I am fat, but I never stopped caring about myself.
I guess my point is that obesity doesn't need to be a major barrier to love, but many of the common traits people associate with obesity are. You need to prove that you are better than your body fat percentage if you want people to look past it.0 -
I'd pull back until I was rock solid, then go after a lady 15 years younger and start a new family with her. I play tennis with aguy 52 years old - peak condition. Once he got his former walrus looking body in shape, the quality of ladies went up, up, up!I'm curious as to why the question was even asked...
I asked the question for a couple reasons...
1) I wanted to prove what I already knew was true. And that is that, generally speaking, women are attracted to a man more for his intelligence, personality, wit, charm, etc. and less for his adonis-like physical appearance.
There are a lot of guys on MFP that are single and may be struggling with dating at their current fitness level. I am dating here and there but have mentally put a lot of that activity on hold until I feel better about my appearance. For a number of reasons (none of them good) I let my fitness level get way off track and I'm embarrased about that for myself because I know better.
And...
2) With the input of others, I wanted to develop an impression in my mind as to whether or not I really needed to pull back from pursuing dating during this transformational period in my life.
As you can imagine, I've considered at least some of the obvious pro's and con's to dating while being a chunky monkey. There are plenty of valid reasons to stop and to keep going. The programmer in me likes to understand that path ahead (even just a little) before jumping off the deep end.
All of your responses have been great and I appreciate you chiming in with your opinions. The real lesson learned here is that it's all about what's on the inside and that an investment on the outside is the icing on the cake that tastes so good.
This is a great group of people here at MFP and I'm glad to be amongst you.
kcwebguy
His gf is 28, cute and looking for marriage and family.
Can't beat that!
Wow thats just all kinds of wrong. I hope for his sake he doesnt listen to you AT all. You realize that you are implying that those of us that are fat have NO quality. THAT is a HUGE turn off and I for one am glad not to know you and am glad you WOULDNT look my way.
As to the OP- Dude you are hot as hell and can prolly get any girl you want right now as is. You just need more confidence. Most women like a little meat on dem bones.0 -
I'd like to "weigh-in" on this one, if I may. You can be physically attracted to whatever body-type floats your boat, but I hope you are considering more than outward appearances-- such as how this man treats you and others, his relationship with his family, does he fight fair, his priorities vs. yours, money management, religious and childrearing opinions, etc.
Two other issues that could "weigh" heavily on a relationship-
#1- how his lifestyle habits affect his health-- past, present, future
#2- can you maintain your lifestyle or would his be too much temptation for you and change you into someone/something you
don't want to be
Best wishes either way
PS- Don't enter any relationship thinking you can/will change him
I totally agree, I have started dating someone who is over 6 feet tall and is 280lbs. My huge fear is that I will start to go back to my old eating habits, becuase his arent' as strict as mine. We all know it happens, we gain weight after being in a new relationship. I CANT go back to where I was, so I have to trust that my habits have formed and maybe even rub off on him a little.
That being said, maybe I am shallow. When I met this guy I thought he was perfect for me - our sense of humours match, he is a true gentleman, is has a stable career, a good family, etc. etc. etc. But the first time we were intimate it was VERY awkward becuase I wasn't use to someone this size and it just ended in a nightmare LOL!!!! Anyways, I like the way he makes me feel, and I hope in time we can work thru those intamicy issues (LOL) becuase I like him for him!! but the physical side of a relationship is super important too and I won't deny that!!!0 -
Of course, I see this quite often. For me, fat is not the issue so much as health. If someone is morbidly obese and refuses to make an effort to change, I would have a problem with that. I wouldn't stop liking them, but it likely would become a huge problem as I would not sit quietly by and watch someone I cared about kill themselves with food and laziness. But if they exercise at least semi-regularly and make an effort to eat healthy, I wouldn't care that they had fat on their body.
I totally agree, this is huge to me too... and also becuase I have been obese and am working my *kitten* off not to be, I am scared I will resort to old habits.0 -
I'm curious as to why the question was even asked...
I asked the question for a couple reasons...
1) I wanted to prove what I already knew was true. And that is that, generally speaking, women are attracted to a man more for his intelligence, personality, wit, charm, etc. and less for his adonis-like physical appearance.
There are a lot of guys on MFP that are single and may be struggling with dating at their current fitness level. I am dating here and there but have mentally put a lot of that activity on hold until I feel better about my appearance. For a number of reasons (none of them good) I let my fitness level get way off track and I'm embarrased about that for myself because I know better.
And...
2) With the input of others, I wanted to develop an impression in my mind as to whether or not I really needed to pull back from pursuing dating during this transformational period in my life.
As you can imagine, I've considered at least some of the obvious pro's and con's to dating while being a chunky monkey. There are plenty of valid reasons to stop and to keep going. The programmer in me likes to understand that path ahead (even just a little) before jumping off the deep end.
All of your responses have been great and I appreciate you chiming in with your opinions. The real lesson learned here is that it's all about what's on the inside and that an investment on the outside is the icing on the cake that tastes so good.
This is a great group of people here at MFP and I'm glad to be amongst you.
kcwebguy
Well said. Thru my journey to date I have pondered the same questions 0 -
haha looks like women love guys with fat is should stop working out and put on some fat XD0
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lol so they say. Until you put that to practice I guess I must live in the most shallow city in the world, because if you see a fat guy walking around with a fit woman, everyone's head turns and you can hear a collective "WTF" from everyone passing. 0
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I'm not super fit and sexy... I'm not fat either. I like pot bellies! You know those three male body types: Ectomoroh, mesomorph, and endomorph? (Apparently these are pretty widespread. I just discovered them...) I like endomorphs! Not necessarily FAT men, but men that fill doorways, and fill out button-up shirts. No scrawny wiry men for me.
I know my twin sister's the exact opposite. She goes for the rubber-band limbed Oxford men. She likes a thoroughbred, I like a clydesdale.
Right... you like big men, not fat men. There's a difference.0 -
So, I walked into the next room and asked my OH:
"Would you still love me if I put on say 50 to 100 lbs?"
"Yes, of course"
"Would you still go down?"
"No"
Love that woman. True story.0 -
So, I walked into the next room and asked my OH:
"Would you still love me if I put on say 50 to 100 lbs?"
"Yes, of course"
"Would you still go down?"
"No"
Love that woman. True story.
Damn that's funny... :laugh:0 -
When I was fit I dug fat guys. Now that I'm fat, my fit boyfriend digs me.
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It really depends on the girl. My sisters have both been in relationships with "dreamy" guys who treated them like crap. When the "fat guy" came along and treated them like they deserved, it was easy for them to fall in love.
What it really comes down to is us women feeling loved and cherished.
My husband is littler than me and I secretly hate it because it makes me feel HUGE (and I'm not - he's just REAL small)
Any girl can fall in love with any guy. Haven't you ever seen Disney's Beauty & the Beast??? 0 -
I am married to a slightly over-weight man who has no interest in health and fitness. It has been my experience that our completely separate life-styles separates us in so many ways. I do everything alone, hiking, kayaking, exercising etc. So I think I would say in the event that I am ever single again, I would tend to want someone that shares my same interests.
I totally can relate with my past relationships.
My fiance now is at a perfect weight for his height (according to BMI), but before I met him we was 30-40 lbs overweight. He was dating someone who had no interest in anything active, and was also very overweight. When I met him, although I was at my heaviest weight I have ever been at, I started to adopt his more active lifestyle (which is what I used to be like). I have to say, having a partner who is concerned with his health and enjoys being active, really does help. We don't keep unhealthy foods in the house (aside from the very rare and occasional), we both LOVE all veggies, and we both enjoy going hiking, kayaking, walks, runs, etc. It has made life MUCH easier. I still stick with my original post on here though, that as long as they can keep up in bed and aren't going to keel over from a heart attack any time soon, I am fine with dating an overweight person.0
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