Why I am not going to be posting on help questions anymore.

bcattoes

I do have to admit that I came here to read...never planned on posting or anything. I heard this place was GREAT....but I read more rude responses on here than I can believe!! I would be upset if I came here to ask a question and got rude responses, people making fun of my question, telling me to learn to use the search bar (which I do use...but some people may not realize it's there)....it's a great place to get information...but you better believe I will NEVER ask a question on here for fear of what might come in the responses. Sometimes I think that if I were the original poster, I would not come back!! It's sad really...especially for those of us just starting out. We dont know people on here yet or get their humor!

Anyway, great post here....thanks for posting!!

Sadly, I think some do not come back. Hopefully, they continue with their quest to get to a healthy weight but it is unfortunate that the rude people keep them from enjoying the benefits of this site.

And the search feature is not mandatory. Replying to posts about water or exercise calories or going over protein or any of the other frequent topics with "This again??? Learn to use the search feature." IS rude. If you don't want to discuss the subject again, then why even click on the post? Why respond? Why be rude?

Jeff92se

I do have to admit that I came here to read...never planned on posting or anything. I heard this place was GREAT....but I read more rude responses on here than I can believe!! I would be upset if I came here to ask a question and got rude responses, people making fun of my question, telling me to learn to use the search bar (which I do use...but some people may not realize it's there)....it's a great place to get information...but you better believe I will NEVER ask a question on here for fear of what might come in the responses. Sometimes I think that if I were the original poster, I would not come back!! It's sad really...especially for those of us just starting out. We dont know people on here yet or get their humor!

Anyway, great post here....thanks for posting!!

Sadly, I think some do not come back. Hopefully, they continue with their quest to get to a healthy weight but it is unfortunate that the rude people keep them from enjoying the benefits of this site.

And the search feature is not mandatory. Replying to posts about water or exercise calories or going over protein or any of the other frequent topics with "This again??? Learn to use the search feature." IS rude. If you don't want to discuss the subject again, then why even click on the post? Why respond? Why be rude?

Is it rude of the poster to ask a question that hasn't been searched before? Especially some of the most common ones like protein, water consumption and exercise calories? New here doesn't mean that they are new to how a forum works.

bcattoes

I do have to admit that I came here to read...never planned on posting or anything. I heard this place was GREAT....but I read more rude responses on here than I can believe!! I would be upset if I came here to ask a question and got rude responses, people making fun of my question, telling me to learn to use the search bar (which I do use...but some people may not realize it's there)....it's a great place to get information...but you better believe I will NEVER ask a question on here for fear of what might come in the responses. Sometimes I think that if I were the original poster, I would not come back!! It's sad really...especially for those of us just starting out. We dont know people on here yet or get their humor!

Anyway, great post here....thanks for posting!!

Sadly, I think some do not come back. Hopefully, they continue with their quest to get to a healthy weight but it is unfortunate that the rude people keep them from enjoying the benefits of this site.

And the search feature is not mandatory. Replying to posts about water or exercise calories or going over protein or any of the other frequent topics with "This again??? Learn to use the search feature." IS rude. If you don't want to discuss the subject again, then why even click on the post? Why respond? Why be rude?

Is it rude of the poster to ask a question that hasn't been searched before? Especially some of the most common ones like protein, water consumption and exercise calories? New here doesn't mean that they are new to how a forum works.

No, it is not rude to ask a question without searching first. New here doesn't mean that they are not new to how a forum works either.

Maria_t02

I do agree with your premise about being polite when replying to questions, absolutely. People can get too caught up in their own agenda and reply quite rudely and it turns people away from the forums.

But at the same time, there's certainly an overwhelming amount of dietary myth out there that only serves to complicate an already frustrating process. I think it's important to educate people.

If someone posts the Red Scarf No Cheese Diet, where they are to do the following:

1) Eat at a calorie deficit.
2) Exercise
3) Don't eat cheese
4) Wear a red scarf all day.

I'll be quick to point out which of the above items are important and which ones aren't necessary, regardless of whether or not they asked that information.

But, as it pertains to your post, I'll try to be polite when doing so.

I have my red scarf

StevLL

I agree replies should be to the point, short is great, I just feel they can still be polite and appropriate. I'm all for short and sweet just not rude and hurtful.

Elizabeth_C34

People who take the time to post actual peer-reviewed scientific articles are not doing so to be pompous jerks but to dispel a lot of the "broscience" or "pseudoscience" that gets tossed about here. If people are to make a good descision about their weight loss and health, they need to be informed with reasonable scientific information, not articles with no scientific backing or very poor scientific backing.

It's a frequent thing that people like you come on here and say, "Well, I can find a study that says (insert ridiculous statement here)" yet you never do.

I agree that some people get snarky with their responses. I'm guilty of it myself, but bashing people for posting actual scientifically-based advice is silly, IMHO.

Ok, I'm all for making sure we give sound advice or suggestions, but I will say posting a "peer-reviewed" article doesn't solve the problem. This process is a learning process, what works for your body may not work for others. We can post all the "peer-reviewed" articles we want just to make us look smart, but in reality how are we helping the individual? All we are doing is showing that we've learned how to conduct the research we need to help ourselves. Suggesting they look up information for themself and their body types and giving them links to helpful articles allows them to read for themselves and learn how to make decisions for themselves based on their individual needs. That means instead of posting a "peer-reviewed" article, posting some suggestions or links that allows them to do the research for themself. Because in the end, we've all had to learn how to work our weight loss journey on our own. If we relied on having others tell us what to do, we may have lost the weight, but how would we have learned that weightloss is a lifestyle change that involves our emotional well being as well as our physical well being? As for being snarky or rude, maybe you should remember how it felt to be new and in there position. Even posting an article is fine, but when it's done with a condescending tone or intent, it's worthless. Admitting that you've been a bit "snarky" at times only tells me that you as well as many others should think before you post. And if you know you're not able to post something encouraging or something helpful with an encouraging intent, then don't bother posting until you can. Because believe it or not, many people didn't join this site just for social interaction, they joined because they needed support when they may not have been getting it from those immediately around them. How nice to come here only to find they can be treated no different, and feel even more alone in their weight loss struggles. When it comes down to it, it doesn't matter if we post "peer-reviewed" articles or links to articles, if we're rude or snarky when we do so the information we posted isn't work crap!

The problem is not that people need to learn how to search and find their own information, but that so much poor information is thrown around on MFP forums especially to newbies, which is really unhelpful and can be downright dangerous depending on the information and how people take it. Pointing them to good information that is reputable is absolutely helpful and requires them to do a little reading and hunting to get the most of it for them. Again, I'm talking about real science here, not some broscience articles in a magazine or online newsletter.

Everyone wants to believe that they are "different" but the truth is we are all subject to the laws of nature and physics, and the research that most of us cite here is research that applies to everyone. Yes, I understand there are people with medical or physical issues who are the exception, but if you are a healthy adult, your metabolism works just like everyone else's does. Your eating habits may differ. Your preferences may differ. Your rate of metabolism maybe SLIGHTLY different, but your the way your body works (catabolism, metabolism, etc.) is the same. The processes are universal, which is why applying information based on those pesky science publications isn't nearly as difficult as people like to make it out to be.

Admitting that you've been a bit "snarky" at times only tells me that you as well as many others should think before you post.

I do think before I post. Yes, I am blunt, but I don't engage in name-calling or other behavior, and most of my friends on MFP I've met in the forums have thanked me for my bluntness and encouragement. People who come on here expecting to be coddled and spoonfed information, which really gets them absolutley nowhere in understanding how their bodies work and what it means to lose weight and reduce risk factors. As a result, a lot of folks get sucked into the pseudoscience (low carb, HCG, no white food, etc.) that has no scientific basis for healthy adults. There's no point in treating people like ignorant schoolchildren when they are fully capable of learning and understanding the actual science behind what everyone is talking about to make a good informed decision for themselves.

The problem is that people on here get so upset if someone challenges their beliefs and end up taking it personally, at which point their capacity for absorbing new information is shot and they continue to believe whatever they want. It's sad, but it's the truth.

Elizabeth_C34

In life, people with thin skin, a chip on their shoulder and an ego that's easily bruised never seem to get very far.
And they blame the world for their failures.

Count me out of that herd.

Very very true.

mznisaelaine

There is a difference between helping and giving advice and being sarcastic. Just because some of us see the same diet topics all the time in the forums because we been on here longer doesn't mean the newer members have. I can admit, it bugs me when I see some people bashing out people (especially the newer members) with sarcastic remarks and comments just because they have a question. If your tired of seeing the same old diet topics then just stay away from them then. There is nothing wrong with giving your opinion and/or the facts but at least be polite about it.

Elizabeth_C34

There are number of very knowledgeable posters on this site who feel very passionately about not allowing myths and bad information to perpetuate. If someone is recommending unhealthy/unhelpful techniques, they are quick to jump in to correct the information. I'm not sure if that is to whom you are referring, but if it is, I would rather they continue to do what they do, because it is a kindness in the long run.

Of course people shouldn't be rude, but the concept of rudeness is subjective. As another poster said, criticism of an idea is not the same as criticism of a person.

Jeff92se

Does tea count as water?

laurelderry

There are so many people on here that talk as if the way they are telling people to eat is the only way. I am fed up with people answering newbies questions with a condiscending tone. I eat the way I do because it works for my body. People out there are asking for help for a particular diet plan and people who don't like it blast them. Guess what? that wasn't what they asked!

If they want to know about how you eat, they will ask for that kind of help!

Just about ANY major diet plan is better than taking diabetes pills for the rest of your life! So, back off "know-it-alls"!
These newbies don't need the attitude. They probably feel sheepish enough just coming on here. They probably have been teased and taunted for years, just to come here and be talked down to. Great, that's what they need.

So many people like to say "it's a published fact that...." Really? You want to go there? It was also a public fact that you had to burn witches. It was also "Medically" correct to blood let. So, don't give me your lecture about this stuff.

If you want to help people, do so in a polite way. Answer their questions. Don't bash their diet. Be constructive in your criticism.

Thank you! I find it funny that there are STILL those individuals that feel like they have to argue, even with your above statement. Sheesh people. Get a life. Thanks again!

laurelderry

The simple truth is that it is always the same people. I think forum rules do not allow to "call out" members but let's all be real. If you look back through the majority of the posts where someone has been treated incorrectly - you will most likely find the same handful of people - always. You know who you are. You find ways to justify your actions in an attempt to justify treating others poorly. I hope I never find a reason to justify treating someone like they are dirt. I am human and I make mistakes but I hurt when I hurt others - whether I've done it intentionally or not. There is never a good justification for being mean - two wrongs do not make a right.

Agreed- it IS always the same handful of individuals.

LuLuSUPER

Well hello, I am a newbie without an attitude! im here to learn as much as I can to help me keep on track back to health and a cutie beach body.

So , I will watch for info and tip,tricks . etc

I just realized that I can run like the wind first thing in the morning but if i dont eat enough afterward I will pass out by 11am.

Sorry for the bad apples:Being friendly goes far! lol

laurelderry

Sadly, many members cannot distinguish between criticism of an idea and personal criticism. Just because other members may provide criticism or opinions regarding one's nutrition or exercise does not mean that they are being attacked personally.

and many members spout off useless and crap information - every time I come to the forums. I see the same "experts" popping off non stop, like they are some master wizard of MFP land.

Personally, I agree with the OP and his original post.

^^^This!

econut2000

Your "facts" may not agree with my "facts." They both might have "scientific" testing behind them, and they may totally disagree with each other.

That is when you look at the "scientific" testing behind both sides and find out about the study design, potential flaws and weaknesses of the study etc etc and you will find more often then not one side is backed with flimsy or junk science and the other with solid evidence supporting it.

I'm a scientist. You don't need to have flaws in the scientific method to come to a conclusion that is different from another. I have a paper published on a topic (without flaws! lol) that bucks all current ideas about my particular subject. Does it mean I did something wrong? No, it means that is the conclusion my data has lead me to. Is that to say that EVERY referreed paper is flawless? Absolutely not, but don't assume there's something wrong with one based on the fact it doesn't agree with another.

Back to the original topic....yes I agree, people who already have low self esteem may be here reaching out as a last ditch effort to get some help. They don't need snarky attitudes! People will generally post their opinions and I have no problem with that, but people need to take the omnipotent attitude and shove it There is no need to be an *kitten*.

sammysam82

Thank You.

sammysam82

Really Well said!!!!!!! It is not just the eating, it is also exercise. I did jumping jacks the other day and I did them for 5 minutes. I had someone comment on it "just for laughs?" My Answer: No, I am doing what I can do. 5 minutes of jumping jacks was really hard for me to do. When you go 10 years of doing nothing at all, and suffer from depression, You are not going to just jump up off the couch and run a mile. All exercise is going to be a challenge for me. But I am doing it, that's all that matters.
I am trying and I am doing. This does not go for just very over weight people. (No matter your size.) I am small. I am 5"0, I weigh 150lbs. So 150lbs to some people is not real big, That's a pretty low weight, i realize there are lots of people who dream of being that weight. But are they 5"0 like me? I should be really active and be able to lose this really quick because i only weight 150lbs...right?... NO, WRONG. It's not that easy. It's not easy.

Well said!! And BTW, 5 min of jumping jacks sounds like a lot of jacks to me. Jumping jacks are intense.

Thank You. I thought it was really hard, considering I have not done jumping jacks since I was like 17 years old. I felt sort of stupid and disappointed when that person asked if I put it on here just for laughs. Kind of hurt you know. I was actually really trying. I don't ever give advice to anyone. I do not have experience, or room to talk. I can always offer a ear to listen, and encouragement. But I don't give advice. Encouragement is about the best thing anyone can hear or give. I know that It helps me to keep going. So thank you for what you said.

GemaG

Here, here! :drinker:

jlnk

I think people need to stop being so darn sensitive...

slayerdan

There are so many people on here that talk as if the way they are telling people to eat is the only way. I am fed up with people answering newbies questions with a condiscending tone. I eat the way I do because it works for my body. People out there are asking for help for a particular diet plan and people who don't like it blast them. Guess what? that wasn't what they asked!

If they want to know about how you eat, they will ask for that kind of help!

Just about ANY major diet plan is better than taking diabetes pills for the rest of your life! So, back off "know-it-alls"!
These newbies don't need the attitude. They probably feel sheepish enough just coming on here. They probably have been teased and taunted for years, just to come here and be talked down to. Great, that's what they need.

So many people like to say "it's a published fact that...." Really? You want to go there? It was also a public fact that you had to burn witches. It was also "Medically" correct to blood let. So, don't give me your lecture about this stuff.

If you want to help people, do so in a polite way. Answer their questions. Don't bash their diet. Be constructive in your criticism.

Ok.