Do you fart at the gym?

paigemarie93

Farting in the supermarket is better, move down to the end of the aisle & watch the other shopper's faces :laugh: :devil:

*LMAO* I do this all the time, in fact. If I'm with my sister, it's usually accompanied with a "we need to move, now".

Haha, me & my boyfriend are so guilty of this, my boyfriend can do a none stop fart from one end of the aisle to the other! Silent, but deadly :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: The looks that the shoppers give each other, they're like " ew was that you".

ShannanRenae

IM LAFFIN SO DAMN HARD!!!!!!!!!! IM BUSTING GAS NOW!!!!!!!!! YALL STORIES R HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!! :sad: :laugh: :sad: :laugh: :sad: :laugh: :sad: :laugh: :sad: :laugh: THIS IS TOO FUNNY!

nicolemariedwyer

I have, so embarassing!!

jackpotclown

Laughing at this topic just made me eek one out....thanks OP

Yeah, I don't know what it is, but somewhere in the 15th to 20th minute of treadmill time I feel everything start to move. I'm also hopeful that everyone's listening to their iTunes etc too, and planning the perfect drop off isn't easy LOL

gioisa75

Always happens on the treadmill for me. Worst part is you can not walk away from it.

morganhccstudent724

Totally knew it was a guy asking this...

BECAUSE all of us know girls do not fart.

...next you're going to tell me that girls don't poop either, huh?

Because that's just crazy....I read a book just today that says otherwise.

"Everybody Poops!" A rather informative book, really. I suggest you all go out and read it now--right now.

If you don't poop...you'll die.

silvergurl518

I like to fart when I am doing flutterkicks, that way it acts as a fan to distribute my home cooking to the masses..there I am concentratiing on my form....then off at a distance you hear someone yell "oh my god!" ....ahhhh.....mission accomplished!

oh hosed. you make me proud.

PaulaBudd2014

i can say honestly that i have never farted in the gym.... but i am however guilty of the deadly walmart freezer isle fart...lol
my friend and i were walking down the isle and our arms smacked together and i said ahhhhhh the sound of two fat ppl smacking together and of course that prompted extreme laughter and i couldnt hold...im very prissy so i try to never let anyone hear me so it was the first time she had heard me fart...she laughed til she cried...and then proceeded to call everyone we new to let them now i had farted...lol

This post has tears streaming down my face! HAHAHAHHAHA

the_journeyman

Is farting while running not a turbo boost? That's news to me!

JM

CouchSpud

Laughing at this topic just made me eek one out....thanks OP

Yeah, I don't know what it is, but somewhere in the 15th to 20th minute of treadmill time I feel everything start to move. I'm also hopeful that everyone's listening to their iTunes etc too, and planning the perfect drop off isn't easy LOL

This ^^ with vengeance :bigsmile:

Fubar_Bill

What can I say?

It's still the best way to get an elliptical machine without someone working out 6 inches away from you.

richmondcowgirl

"crop dusting" when the opportunity strikes..... but I will never figure out how when you do that, walk 100 ft and stop, the smell catches up with you full force.......


also easy when at the store with toddler boy to just say " say excuse me son" ........... worked well till one day, he exlaimed loudly back at me " I didn't fart daddy, that was you!"

Tried that... but got " Mommy you farted! You farted mommy! Mommy you farted!"

Now I'm sitting here laughing so hard I farted

xSophia19

i try not too. but when your running on the treadmill its hard to keep it in! but then if your stopped the treadmill and try and hold it in, then start running again people will loook at you daft :laugh: o_O soo you cant win either way ha ha!

Nopedotjpeg

I try to hold it in, but sometimes I just have to do a little crop dusting.

NiciS72

EVERYTHING YOU WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT FARTS, BUT WERE AFRAID TO ASK.



#1 - What makes farts stink?
The odor of farts comes from small amounts of hydrogen sulfide gas and mercaptans in the mixture. These compounds contain sulfur. Nitrogen-rich compounds such as skatole and indole also add to the stench of farts. The more sulfur-rich your diet, the more sulfides and mercaptans will be produced by the bacteria in your guts, and the more your farts will stink. Foods such as cauliflower, eggs and meat are notorious for producing smelly farts, whereas beans produce large amounts of not particularly stinky farts.

#2 - Why are stinky farts generally warmer and quieter than regular farts?
Most fart gas comes from swallowed air and consists largely of nitrogen and carbon dioxide, the oxygen having been absorbed by the time it reaches the anal opening. These gases are odorless, although they often pick up other (and more odiferous) components on the way through the bowel. They emerge from the *kitten* in fairly large bubbles at body temperature. A person can often achieve a good sound with these voluminous farts, but they are commonly (but not always!) mundane with respect to odor, and don't feel particularly warm. Another major source of fart gas is bacterial action. Bacterial fermentation and digestion processes produce heat as a byproduct as well as various pungent gases. The resulting bubbles of gas tend to be small, hot, and concentrated with stinky bacterial metabolic products. These emerge as the notorious, warm, SBD (Silent-But-Deadly), often in amounts too small to produce a good sound, but excelling in stench.

#3- How much gas does a normal person pass per day?
On average, a person produces about half a liter of fart gas per day, distributed over an average of about fourteen daily farts. Whereas it may be difficult for you to determine your daily flatus volume, you can certainly keep track of your daily numerical fart count. You might try this as a science fair project: Keep a journal of everything you eat and a count of your farts. You might make a note of the potency of their odor as well. See if you can discover a relationship between what you eat, how much you fart, and how much they smell.

#4 - How long does it take fart gas to travel to someone else's nose?
Fart travel time depends on atmospheric conditions such as humidity, temperature and wind speed and direction, the molecular weight of the fart particles, and the distance between the fart transmitter and the fart receiver. Farts also disperse (spread out) as they leave the source, and their potency diminishes with dilution. Generally, if the fart is not detected within a few seconds, it will be too dilute for perception and will be lost into the atmosphere forever. Exceptional conditions exist when the fart is released into a small enclosed area such as an elevator, a small room, or a car. These conditions limit the amount of dilution possible, and the fart may remain in a smellable concentration for a long period of time, until it condenses on the walls.

#5 - Why is there a 13 to 20 second delay between farting and the time it starts to smell?
Actually, the fart stinks immediately upon emergence, but it takes several seconds for the odor to travel to the farter's nostrils. If farts could travel at the speed of sound, we would smell them almost instantly, at the same time we hear them.

#6 - Is it true that some people never fart?
No, not if they're alive. People even fart shortly after death.

#7 - Why are beans so notorious for making people fart?
Beans contain sugars that we humans cannot digest. When these sugars reach our intestines, the bacteria go wild, have a big feast, and make lots of gas! Other notorious fart-producing foods include corn, bell peppers, cabbage, milk, and raisins. A friend of mine had a dog who was exceptionally fond of apples and turnips. The dog would eat these things and then get prodigious gas. A dog's digestive system is not equipped to handle such vegetable matter, so the dog's bacteria worked overtime to produce remarkable flatulence.

#8 - What things other than diet can make a person fart more than usual?
People who swallow a lot of air fart more than people who don't. This can be cured somewhat by chewing with your mouth closed. Nervous people with fast moving bowels will fart more because less air is absorbed out of the intestines. Some disease conditions can cause excess flatulence. And going up in an airplane or other low-pressure environment can cause the gas inside you to expand and emerge as flatulence.

#9 - Is a fart really just a burp that comes out the wrong end?
No, a burp emerges from the stomach and has a different chemical composition from a fart. Farts have less atmospheric gas content and more bacterial gas content than burps.


#10 - Is it harmful to hold in farts?
There are differences in opinion on this one. Certainly, people have believed for centuries that retaining flatulence is bad for the health. Emperor Claudius even passed a law legalizing farting at banquets out of concern for people's health. There was a widespread belief that a person could be poisoned or catch a disease by retaining farts. Doctors I have spoken to recently have told me that there is no particular harm in holding in farts. Farts will not poison you; they are a natural component of your intestinal contents. The worst thing that can happen is that you may get a stomach ache from the gas pressure. But one doctor suggested that pathological distention of the bowel could result if a person holds in farts too much.

#11 - How long would it be possible to not fart?
A captive fart can escape as soon as the person relaxes. This means that a lot of people who assiduously refrain from farting during the day do so at great length as soon as they fall asleep. Having been on a great many overnight field trips, long bus trips, and trans- Pacific flights, I can personally vouch for the fact that lots of people do fart voluminously as they doze off. So the answer to the question would be, you can refrain from farting as long as you can stay awake!

#12 - Do all people fart in their sleep?
The gas accumulates in the night and they vent it upon awakening.

#13 - Where do farts go when you hold them in?
The doctors agree that the fart is neither released nor absorbed. It simply migrates back upward into the intestine and comes out later. It is reassuring to know that such farts aren't really lost, just delayed.

#14 - How can one cover up a fart?
There is a company called Fartypants that sells underwear designed to absorb the odor of farts. If you should be caught without your Fartypants, another ploy is to blame the dog or cat, if one should be present, or complain about how the wind must be blowing from the direction of the paper mill. As for the sound... if you are in a large group of people, act oblivious and innocent, or glance quickly at the person next to you, as if you think he/she did it. Other strategies include coughing or suddenly moving your chair so that people think that they misheard the fart. If you are with one other person, you can act as if nothing happened, and the other person may believe he was mistaken in thinking he heard a fart. Another strategy is not to cover it up, but to proudly proclaim the fart as your own grand accomplishment and to issue a challenge to the others to outdo that one if they think they can.

#15 - Is it really possible to ignite farts?
The answer to that is yes! However, you should be aware that people get injured igniting flatulence. Not only can the flame back up into your colon, but your clothing or other surroundings may catch on fire. A survey done by Fartcloud (the site, alas! is no more) indicates that about a quarter of the people who ignited their farts got burned doing it. Ignition of flatulence is a hazardous practice. However, if you want to try it, and you don't have a friend to light your fart for you, might find it easier to accomplish the job using the Fartlighter. There have also been cases in which intestinal gases with a higher than normal oxygen content have exploded during surgery when electric cautery was used by the surgeon.

#16 - Why is possible to burn farts?
Farts burn because they contain methane (usually) and hydrogen, both of which are flammable gases. (Hydrogen was the same gas that was used in the ill fated Hindenburg dirigible.) Farts tend to burn with a blue or yellow flame.

Source: http://www.gowally.com/fun/farts.htm :laugh:

seehawkmomma

Totally knew it was a guy asking this...

BECAUSE all of us know girls do not fart.

...next you're going to tell me that girls don't poop either, huh?

Because that's just crazy....I read a book just today that says otherwise.

"Everybody Poops!" A rather informative book, really. I suggest you all go out and read it now--right now.

If you don't poop...you'll die.

That is false.

I never EVER fart. Nor do I poop. No real lady does.

lilRicki

omg, i did the total fly by at the gym the other day. you know, when you fart, and just keep walking around, trying to dilute the fart by spreading it around as much as possible.

it didn't work as well as i thought it would.

that's called crop dusting...and yeah, it works. I have a problem on the elliptical, so I make sure I'm by a fan so it shoo's the "home cooking" (LMFAO) away from me.

AdoraK

LMFAAO

Thanks for the laugh. I so needed that. Ohhh I am glad that I do not go to the gym!!!!

galegetsthin

Every chance I get...... keeps the creepers away and I always have open treadmills around me.

QueenJayJay

That is false.

I never EVER fart. Nor do I poop. No real lady does.

I think the question here is...where do I NOT?