Do you fart at the gym?

6mimi

Farting in the supermarket is better, move down to the end of the aisle & watch the other shopper's faces :laugh: :devil:

Someone did this to me at Target last night! I was walking by the bread aisle, a woman and her son walked by, and as soon as I passed by her bum it smelled like poop. It lasted all the way to electronics. I thought I was going to die. My teen daughter and I laughed so hard and then went to the scented candle aisle to try to smell something better.

ginger_fury187

This is the FUNNIEST post I have ever seen and i have been wetting myself at the replies.

I think its entertaining me more just because I now know im not the only one haha! I thought it might be because I take 2 pro plus before gymming it to help me get lots of energy.

Ive managed to control it recently - but found on the cross trainer when I was going really fast there was no sign or signal that it was about to happen and then POW there is it. And then you have to do the casual look around the room to make sure those near are wearing ear phones cos someones bound to have heard

thank god my gym has a Dj that plays loud sets or i would have been screwed by now lol.

Thanks all, this has really made my thursday a hell of a lot better!!!

PeaceLoveVeggies

It's the reason why I stopped going. :laugh:

Mustangsally1000

Totally knew it was a guy asking this...

BECAUSE all of us know girls do not fart.

^^THIS^^ So true!!!:drinker:

Mustangsally1000

I always do.....especially during Yoga Days

Why is that a common response to yoga??? Don't know..but it is!:ohwell:

jmjatlanta

Funny you should ask. I never have... until Monday. I was trying out a new (to me) exercise, the reverse fly. I was prone on a bench, dumbells to the side. First lift and R.I.P. A quick check revealed 2 guys in the freeweight area, both with headphones. I was spared most of the embarrassment. The minute of terror passed with no foul odor detected. Crisis averted.

I've always been pretty good at detecting the inevitable and moving the party to an unpopulated location. Unfortunately, sometimes I'm surprised. Recent diet changes can certainly lead to unintended consequences.

Oh, and one more phrase to add to the glossary...

Tugboating - fart, wait not quite long enough, walk away and the darned thing follows you!

CandeesLand

NO. NEVER. BUT.... One time in the shower I forgot where I was... was thinking I was at home...and... well.... it echoed.

Shower farts are the worst! something about the moisture makes those babies hang out a lot longer!

tritt86

:laugh: :laugh:

vanillasugar

I have never laughed so hard in my life at an online thread before this. :laugh: :sad: :laugh:

GrandmaJackie

:laugh: :laugh: :bigsmile: Thanks guys now I'm thinking about WHO farts in the gym, lmao!!!!

pixlamarque

one time this guy requested that one of the tv's be turned to the food network.
i got on the elliptical directly in front of his treadmill... my revenge was served hot that night.

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Try doing a Yoga class with Senior Citizens. More gas than Strickland Propane.

I used to take a yoga class filled with old people. I was so disgusted at the near constant fart noises.........until the day I ripped a blast of fajita scented air in boat pose. :bigsmile: Yeah, I showed them how it was done.

alaina06

OMG this thread is hilarious. Thanks for the laugh and sharing your fart experiences. :laugh: :laugh:

big_drake

I just joined a new gym so I am trying to hold them in as much as possible, but I'm pretty sure some poor guy walking into the gym had to walk through a cloud I laid down as I was leaving.

It seems to happen more when I'm doing squats. I also use holding in farts as a mental excuse to take a break jogging on the treadmill.

As for sharting, it hasn't happened yet but there are times when I fear the worst only to find out I just ripped a juicy one.

At home is a different story....

Excuses my dad likes to use, stepped on a frog, loose floor board, it was the chair, a low flying goose, it was the grandkids, it was the wife, etc. Hard to believe him, and myself or my brother, when we use one of these exuses and trying not to laugh. The men in our family have a reputation...

CallMeCupcakeDammit

eh, for the ladies that had multiples natural deliveries....can we talk about vaginal farts????? No...i am alone with this? Okidoki

I hate that...what about when they don't come all the way out and you walk around with a bubble to pop...:laugh: :laugh:

OMG I'm crying at my desk!

SMarie10

I have to Bump - don't have time to read it yet.

SMarie10

Bump for later reading and laughing

Mustangsally1000

eh, for the ladies that had multiples natural deliveries....can we talk about vaginal farts????? No...i am alone with this? Okidoki

Laughing so hard I can hardly breath.... That's one the men won't understand

^^this^^ :laugh:

fitnessyeoja

I do, especially on lower body days. Those exercises that put pressure on the midsection, squats, deadlifts, leg press etc. really gets that gas moving. The fact that I workout right after my morning coffee doesn't help, I think the warmth of the coffee gets the fart cannons primed.

The key is to try not to fart in the middle of the exercise, because you can't control the sound and you have to stand there and smell it. I prefer to hold it and walk to a far off corner of the gym, let it out, and walk back to where I am working so as to spread my gas evenly around the gym. No point in making one part of the gym suffer disproportionately, I figure.

Of course, there are times when a pant-splitting fart rips out right at the bottom of a squat. Not much you can do there except try to cover up the sound with grunt.

What are your gym farting techniques?

I have not read all of the posts here, but I have got to say it's pretty awful when people fart during yoga class. We are in close closed quarter and there are people laying down above your head/nose. So I am in a peaceful state when then a silent but deadly waft of nasty gas from my neighbor moves into my area. Not pleasant at all! I say if you have had too many beans for dinner do not come to yoga to "bless" us with your odor. Have some consideration, people!!! :sad:

Momkat65

Copied from another post- had to share

Fri 09/30/11 08:54 AM

Totally farted in yoga class. Not just a little, polite *poot* but a long, juicy fart with teeth. Ok and it STUNK like it had just rolled right past a turd. It was awful. I was on a juice cleanse and sometimes you don't have control and your farts just can't be trusted. I heard someone trying to suppress their giggles, another person said "gross" under their breath. Mortified and frozen in place, I didn't how to damage control this one. I finished class as best I could and then as soon as they went into final relaxation I immediately got up, ran out of the studio and never went back. When I got home I discovered that yes, I had *kitten* myself a little.

Cberg9

For me it's Target....I swear they circulate something through their AC ductwork, the second I enter...BAM
Also when running or doing burpees.....should be called fartees

abrn93

My spouse does frequently, then turns to me and says "honey are you feeling ok?" so everyone looks at me in disgust! HATE him lol

Cberg9

I work out at home, and since I like to dance like a loon, my daughter is usually rolling on the floor laughing at me. To get even, I like to stink her out of the room.

I also have air freshener right at my desk "just in case". I am pretty sure my co-workes think I fart cinnamon apple

OMG I am dying at this ^^^^ Aloha Breeze for me!

SMarie10

When I was a kid, my older brother would grab me, hold me down and say "pull my finger"... Trama at such an early age makes me "gun shy" to fart in public, unless it's a silent bomb and I can walk away unnoticed.

Bullyfan2011

A few weeks ago I was the only guy in the gym and thought "why not, only one in", well as I let one go I then proceeded to finish drinking some water and turned and there was a couple ladies standing next to me...I didn't hear them come in because I had my head phones in...I smile am walked away like nothing happened!!!!

jennp1129

I was laughing so hard... Can't believe this post has gone on this long. Have to say... I'm not part apart of a gym, but I find it sick that now I want to go just so I can see who you Gym Farters are!!! Now I know what to look for. I have also learned some very important things...

1. If I need a machine: Fart near it
2. If I'm upset with someones Gym behavior: Fart near them
3. When trying to be discrete with gas at the gym: Drag it out and let it slowly out as I walk down the isle of machines
4. When I need a good laugh: Rip one and pass the fault to my gym partner
5. Don't eat high fiber while close to a gym workout unless I plan on having to use Lesson 1 or 2.
6. Watch out for group classes: all that stretching and shaking seems to wiggle every last bit of juice out of you

and finally... If I decide to join a gym make sure it has a great air filter and fan/AC system!!!

Thanks everyone! Its been Fun!

HorrorChix89

I sneeze-farted once...can't cover that up

CallMeCupcakeDammit

I was laughing so hard... Can't believe this post has gone on this long. Have to say... I'm not part apart of a gym, but I find it sick that now I want to go just so I can see who you Gym Farters are!!! Now I know what to look for. I have also learned some very important things...

1. If I need a machine: Fart near it
2. If I'm upset with someones Gym behavior: Fart near them
3. When trying to be discrete with gas at the gym: Drag it out and let it slowly out as I walk down the isle of machines
4. When I need a good laugh: Rip one and pass the fault to my gym partner
5. Don't eat high fiber while close to a gym workout unless I plan on having to use Lesson 1 or 2.
6. Watch out for group classes: all that stretching and shaking seems to wiggle every last bit of juice out of you

and finally... If I decide to join a gym make sure it has a great air filter and fan/AC system!!!

Thanks everyone! Its been Fun!

I've learned to go pee BEFORE I read anymore of these posts!

Juliebean_1027

omg, i did the total fly by at the gym the other day. you know, when you fart, and just keep walking around, trying to dilute the fart by spreading it around as much as possible.

My bf calls this "crop dusting."

tania1782

Oh my god, this topic, I've laughed so hard I'm shedding tears/calories/humanity. Love you guys.

Wow, yep....:laugh: HIlarious

elysecea

omg, i did the total fly by at the gym the other day. you know, when you fart, and just keep walking around, trying to dilute the fart by spreading it around as much as possible.

it didn't work as well as i thought it would.

Ha ha ha ha thats called a crop dust!!!!