Are blokes only after one thing?????

Nicola0000

I disagree with this. Very strongly. yes especially in the UK there are many young women who dress like complete slappers but I would assume they are aware of this and take what comes to them. However some younger girls I think there is a bit of naivity at play.

Hope you're from the Uk to say that!!
But I totally agree. Go out on a Saturday night and some of the sights!!! But these girls are all about getting pi$$ed, pi$$ed and more pi$$ed, they arent looking for a nice bloke dressed like that!

I do think there is some truth to how people dress. Its sooo easy to judge people by what they wear, which is unfortunate but is a fact of life. Whether it be how a girl dresses on a Saturday night, how a religious person dresses etc.

auticus

I was just wondering that is all. With your logic with the rest of it - dressing like a slapper should get you a nice guy right? You are quoting opposites.
I am a well balanced Aussie - I have a chip on both shoulders!!! Joking. :laugh:
I am just reporting what I see and experience (and I don't wear mini skirts out).

Provide context to what I am contradicting myself with and I'll put it in order for you. I never insinuated that "dressing like a slapper will get you a nice guy". Dressing like that will get you male attention period. The quality will be mixed but predominantly will come from shallow guys who just want a piece. If the problem is "i can't find nice guys I'm attracted to they all just seem to want a piece of a** and then leave" then you have to look at the pool of men you are pulling from and why that is.

Smuterella

Oh, most of my relationships have come after sex on the first date - I like to try before I buy.

Aren't you afraid of catching aids or any stds for that matter?

Ummm HELLO - condoms. And regular STD testing even though you are having 100% safe sex is still important.

grobbygru

find the common denominator. Then remove it.

If the common denominator here is that all guys you (general you) are interacting with are only after your booty then you need to figure out why that is and remove it. That could be dress, how you act, what you say, what vibes you give off, or a combination of all the above.

If the common denominator is you then you need to fix you (general you).

Is that like saying a girl dressed in a mini skirt deserved to be raped?

I was waiting for someone to raise the "rape" banner. I don't think that is what he is trying to say at all. I'm feminist and proud but, but, dressing in a way which suggests sexual availability and then being offended when people assume that you are sexually available seems a little hypocritical. I'm uncomfortable with saying that but unfortunately people do make assumptions based on how you look.

See, I think it is wrong to assume anything on peoples clothing - or lack of it for that matter. I don't see why anyone shouldn't feel upset if someone assumes because she looks a certain way (not just snooki but generally) she should invite unwanted attention.
I guess (and I am not being tardy here) you admitted you do like to have sex st8 up so it would be hard to understand why girls that don't want to be used and abused feel upset by these generalisations of they would have sex immediately. I don't dress in anyway provocative, nor do I go out dating or to meet people but it seems anyone you talk to has it on their mind and try to score. I find it offensive and it is probably due to the fact that a high % of people are winners for them nowadays. Nothing ventured, nothing gained kind of attitudes.

Smuterella

It is completely wrong to make assumptions BUT it is simple human nature to do so. Can't change that. An intelligent person will question those assumptions, sadly intelligent people are few and far between.

Smuterella

Oh and before you all make your judgements, yes, I have no problem with sex on a first date if i like someone but I have also been celibate for 2 years until very recently. Being sexually open does not equal constantly having your legs open.

lmalaschak

I didn't read through all the posts but if you want to find the right kind of man there is only one place to look. Church. I mean real church, not go through the motions church! For what it's worth.

auticus

See, I think it is wrong to assume anything on peoples clothing - or lack of it for that matter. I don't see why anyone shouldn't feel upset if someone assumes because she looks a certain way (not just snooki but generally) she should invite unwanted attention.
I guess (and I am not being tardy here) you admitted you do like to have sex st8 up so it would be hard to understand why girls that don't want to be used and abused feel upset by these generalisations of they would have sex immediately. I don't dress in anyway provocative, nor do I go out dating or to meet people but it seems anyone you talk to has it on their mind and try to score. I find it offensive and it is probably due to the fact that a high % of people are winners for them nowadays. Nothing ventured, nothing gained kind of attitudes.

I think its wrong for many people to assume I'm a lazy slothful uneducated unambitious stoner who lives at home due to my hair, musical tastes, and belly, but that's the world we live in. I dont' make the rules, I just try to understand them and often circumvent them

I don't know where I even spoke about my preferences in regards to what I want in those regards. I like women. I will tell it straight that I play in bands, and that when women who are dressed in a way I find "easy" approach me, I am polite to them and that's about it, because while physically I am turned on by women who dress that way, I don't want that anymore.

I don't really hit on women at all because that's not my nature. If I flirt with someone it's because I really like them.

grobbygru

I was just wondering that is all. With your logic with the rest of it - dressing like a slapper should get you a nice guy right? You are quoting opposites.
I am a well balanced Aussie - I have a chip on both shoulders!!! Joking. :laugh:
I am just reporting what I see and experience (and I don't wear mini skirts out).

Provide context to what I am contradicting myself with and I'll put it in order for you. I never insinuated that "dressing like a slapper will get you a nice guy". Dressing like that will get you male attention period. The quality will be mixed but predominantly will come from shallow guys who just want a piece. If the problem is "i can't find nice guys I'm attracted to they all just seem to want a piece of a** and then leave" then you have to look at the pool of men you are pulling from and why that is.

Dominatrix = submissive???? I don't see some nerdy guy approaching one of these women - that's all.
As you say - male attention of mixed quality - this probably equates to the OP question - blokes are usually after one thing.
I think in my *own* case it is a matter of where I live - the place is full of at best blue collar workers (mainly derived from a particular country too) that have ego and self image problems and very basic educations. They are also often in high paying jobs (we refer to them as CUBs - cashed up bogans) where they are then completely looked after and have a distorted view of their own importance and value.
You may be right - but I just don't see why what someone wears should lead someone to assume she would give out sex st8 up.

grobbygru

Oh, most of my relationships have come after sex on the first date - I like to try before I buy.

Aren't you afraid of catching aids or any stds for that matter?

Ummm HELLO - condoms. And regular STD testing even though you are having 100% safe sex is still important.

What about those warts and herpes??

auticus

Dominatrix = submissive???? I don't see some nerdy guy approaching one of these women - that's all.
As you say - male attention of mixed quality - this probably equates to the OP question - blokes are usually after one thing.
I think in my *own* case it is a matter of where I live - the place is full of at best blue collar workers (mainly derived from a particular country too) that have ego and self image problems and very basic educations. They are also often in high paying jobs (we refer to them as CUBs - cashed up bogans) where they are then completely looked after and have a distorted view of their own importance and value.
You may be right - but I just don't see why what someone wears should lead someone to assume she would give out sex st8 up.

I think you have a disconnect on what those terms mean. Submissive males are not all "nerdy guys". Muscular men are not all "aggressive alpha males". Go to a fetish club sometime. You'll find scores of muscular submissive guys on leashes to a dominatrix.

Submissive male can be any type of personality. It could be an executive. It could be an athlete. It could be a blue collar assembly line worker. It could be a teacher. Submissive is submissive.

What someone wears shouldn't lead to assumptions... but it does. Knowing that that is a sociological rule, you have to play by it. You can rage against it all you want, and often people do, but it won't change the rule being what it is.

I rage against the fact that to be a worthwhile dating partner, I have to have short hair, or be bald and have tattoos, and have a body fat percentage less than 18. But raging won't change the rule so here I am busting it in the gym.

YOu're also digressing back to the "men only want one thing" argument, which is a generalization, which is full of logical fallacy. I can respond back to you with "women only want men for their money and to make their girlfriends jealous of their social status" and sound equally a tool.

_binary_jester_

Oh, most of my relationships have come after sex on the first date - I like to try before I buy.

Aren't you afraid of catching aids or any stds for that matter?

Ummm HELLO - condoms. And regular STD testing even though you are having 100% safe sex is still important.

What about those warts and herpes??

Warts herpes can travel through a condom? That's like super herpes.

Smuterella

Oh, most of my relationships have come after sex on the first date - I like to try before I buy.

Aren't you afraid of catching aids or any stds for that matter?

Ummm HELLO - condoms. And regular STD testing even though you are having 100% safe sex is still important.

What about those warts and herpes??

Oh good lord! Warts, for one thing, are visible -generally. Look, unless you marry and both of you are virgins and magically never sleep with anyone else, ever, there is a liklihood of catching something. I get tested every 6 months, I've never caught anything, when I dated lesbians i even asked them to wear condoms on their strap ons. Can we just accept that you can have a number of sexual partners and NOT catch something. Thanks.

Nicola0000

I didn't read through all the posts but if you want to find the right kind of man there is only one place to look. Church. I mean real church, not go through the motions church! For what it's worth.

Is that saying all men who go to Church are innocent, moral, respecting people? Again generalising, but that cant always be the case? Not after what you read in the papers about some priets!! I dont think you can say Church is the only place. Nowhere is perfect.

grobbygru

See, I think it is wrong to assume anything on peoples clothing - or lack of it for that matter. I don't see why anyone shouldn't feel upset if someone assumes because she looks a certain way (not just snooki but generally) she should invite unwanted attention.
I guess (and I am not being tardy here) you admitted you do like to have sex st8 up so it would be hard to understand why girls that don't want to be used and abused feel upset by these generalisations of they would have sex immediately. I don't dress in anyway provocative, nor do I go out dating or to meet people but it seems anyone you talk to has it on their mind and try to score. I find it offensive and it is probably due to the fact that a high % of people are winners for them nowadays. Nothing ventured, nothing gained kind of attitudes.

I think its wrong for many people to assume I'm a lazy slothful uneducated unambitious stoner who lives at home due to my hair, musical tastes, and belly, but that's the world we live in. I dont' make the rules, I just try to understand them and often circumvent them

I don't know where I even spoke about my preferences in regards to what I want in those regards. I like women. I will tell it straight that I play in bands, and that when women who are dressed in a way I find "easy" approach me, I am polite to them and that's about it, because while physically I am turned on by women who dress that way, I don't want that anymore.

I don't really hit on women at all because that's not my nature. If I flirt with someone it's because I really like them.

I think I had quoted back to Lisasmuts here!! I might be wrong - it's getting very late here and I am looking crosseyed now :huh: So wasn't saying you didn't like girls :noway:

Could it be though that the girls at your bands are just dressed like that because it's the fashion?

HeidiMightyRawr

You may be right - but I just don't see why what someone wears should lead someone to assume she would give out sex st8 up.

They may not assume she *would* give out sex easily. But if a person is looking for sex, and they see someone dressed provocatively, they will likely hit on them - they like what they see obviously and are attracted to it. If you're more covered up, you haven't really got anything on show at which could turn them on (make them want to hit on you)

auticus

Could it be though that the girls at your bands are just dressed like that because it's the fashion?

Could be. But after playing out in bands for 18 years I will tell you that predominantly they are called groupies for a reason...

grobbygru

Dominatrix = submissive???? I don't see some nerdy guy approaching one of these women - that's all.
As you say - male attention of mixed quality - this probably equates to the OP question - blokes are usually after one thing.
I think in my *own* case it is a matter of where I live - the place is full of at best blue collar workers (mainly derived from a particular country too) that have ego and self image problems and very basic educations. They are also often in high paying jobs (we refer to them as CUBs - cashed up bogans) where they are then completely looked after and have a distorted view of their own importance and value.
You may be right - but I just don't see why what someone wears should lead someone to assume she would give out sex st8 up.

I think you have a disconnect on what those terms mean. Submissive males are not all "nerdy guys". Muscular men are not all "aggressive alpha males". Go to a fetish club sometime. You'll find scores of muscular submissive guys on leashes to a dominatrix.

Submissive male can be any type of personality. It could be an executive. It could be an athlete. It could be a blue collar assembly line worker. It could be a teacher. Submissive is submissive.

What someone wears shouldn't lead to assumptions... but it does. Knowing that that is a sociological rule, you have to play by it. You can rage against it all you want, and often people do, but it won't change the rule being what it is.

I rage against the fact that to be a worthwhile dating partner, I have to have short hair, or be bald and have tattoos, and have a body fat percentage less than 18. But raging won't change the rule so here I am busting it in the gym.

YOu're also digressing back to the "men only want one thing" argument, which is a generalization, which is full of logical fallacy. I can respond back to you with "women only want men for their money and to make their girlfriends jealous of their social status" and sound equally a tool.

Hehehehehe, point A: no way would I go to anything like that - far too prudish for that - I saw one of their houses once LMAO!!!
point B: I am not raging about it - I just find it strange!! Always have. Find dress codes in pubs etc insane (who says someones going to fight because they are wearing thongs (footwear here), that kind of thing)
point C: As I said IME - and this is after 9 years - I would say 100% of blokes I have had interaction with and that can be the strangest of circumstances -ie bumping into a 'kid' (he used to be a kid and isn't now) that I lived next door to when I was married suddenly texting me pictures and lewd stuff (He had asked for my number and I thought it was to give to his mum for us to catch up!!!!) So generalising is pretty easy to do at this point in time.

grobbygru

Could it be though that the girls at your bands are just dressed like that because it's the fashion?

Could be. But after playing out in bands for 18 years I will tell you that predominantly they are called groupies for a reason...

OMG - you are kidding me? I thought it was groupies because they followed the group! I am never using that term again - I have always told people how I used to be a Pseudo Echo groupie when I was younger - no wonder I get strange looks!!!!!!!!!!! I just used to go to their every gig - cos they were awesome. :blushing:

auticus

Generalization is easy for any of us to do. We all only have our own experiences to go off of. Just realize that our experiences cover a tiny fraction of the world's population.

If I used my own experiences I would definitely say all women are self-centered sluts who only care about themselves and having eye candy to call their boyfriend/husband so that their girlfriends are jealous of them.

I say that based on being a fat man in western society, where I had a marriage fail because of my weight, and I have had enormously difficult times dating because of my weight.

I also realize that not every woman is like the ones I have had the misfortune of interacting with, so I keep an open mind. That's all I'm asking you to do as well

By the by I've been divorced 9 years this year and have largely been single the entire time as well so I can understand the frustration of 9 years in the dating pool and being around other people who seem to only be after certain things.