Are blokes only after one thing?????

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  • Charloo1990
    Charloo1990 Posts: 619 Member
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    No. but if you're shallow then expect to find shallow guys in return. You get what you put out. Shallow guys are the kind that will use you to put it in your caboose then send you home with cab fare if you're lucky.

    I realize disney movies made it so that the pretty pretty princess gets the buff handsome hot prince who is charming but the reality is shallow begets shallow. There's much more to life.
    I don't want a buff guy. I couldnt care less about guys with six packs and all that. I just want someone im attracted to and feel a connection with. Why on earth would i want to get with a guy who i don't have an attraction with and feel no spark. It doesnt make sense to try force feelings upon urself for guys u don't look at and fancy. Bloody hell, u can't sleep with a guy u don't find attractive in the slightest. Don;t get me wrong, i don;t think its all about looks, sometimes personality can make someone so attractive but sometimes if they don't float ur boat looks wise then how would there ever be any chemistry, there just wouldnt.
  • Charloo1990
    Charloo1990 Posts: 619 Member
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    Dunno whether to take that as a compliment or not lols. But thanks. Oh well, if thats the case then it looks like i'l probs never find someone cause how i dress and do my hair and make ect is for me and i wouldnt change for anyone cause it wouldnt be right. You;'ve always got to be urself. My ex was a nice guy, im sure if i could do it then i can eventualy find someone nice again lol.

    Sure you can, but you will have to do the hunting as I can promise you that most guys that approach you have just sex on their mind.
    Luckily i've become wise lol.
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,370 Member
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    So, to generalize...

    Women are only interested in our money....

    Men are only interested in sex....

    Prostitutes.
    Thats a load of crap. I'd rather not have money and be happy and in love then have money and be with someone that doesnt make me happy.

    But it is perfectly ok to have a 15 page thread on how men just want sex though right?

    Thank you.
  • Charloo1990
    Charloo1990 Posts: 619 Member
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    "I'll just turn lesbian" ....how droll.
    Um yeh, whatever that means.
  • Jaxster12
    Jaxster12 Posts: 25 Member
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    How about sexting after the first few dates? Damn here is some hotties in here today!!
  • Smuterella
    Smuterella Posts: 1,623 Member
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    Could you be giving off an aura of sexual availability without realising? I've learnt recently that many people cannot see past a persons look or image. People, and I believe men especially - being more visual creatures, respond to outward appearance and may make assumptions.

    Men look at me, in my 1940's suits and set hair and think I'm prim when I'm actually a raving sexpot who wants to be manhandled into a cupboard and thoroughly but consensually abused at the earliest opportunity. Sigh.
  • Charloo1990
    Charloo1990 Posts: 619 Member
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    How about sexting after the first few dates? Damn here is some hotties in here today!!
    Personally i find that a turn off. I like to really get to know someone properly before i feel comfortable with them in that respect.
  • Jaxster12
    Jaxster12 Posts: 25 Member
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    How about sexting after the first few dates? Damn here is some hotties in here today!!
    Personally i find that a turn off. I like to really get to know someone properly before i feel comfortable with them in that respect.

    You might be tough but I'm sure a few roses, a good meal and a slow dance will lighten you up ;) Us men are awesome when it comes to seducing
  • Charloo1990
    Charloo1990 Posts: 619 Member
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    Could you be giving off an aura of sexual availability without realising? I've learnt recently that many people cannot see past a persons look or image. People, and I believe men especially - being more visual creatures, respond to outward appearance and may make assumptions.

    Men look at me, in my 1940's suits and set hair and think I'm prim when I'm actually a raving sexpot who wants to be manhandled into a cupboard and thoroughly but consensually abused at the earliest opportunity. Sigh.
    Thats fair enought and ur actualy right but theres is where the saying "don't judge a book by its cover" comes in. Like u say about ur appearance and what people would expect from it, well in my case i have blonde hair, big books, wear hair extensions, wear fake tan ect and some guys would probs maybe look at that and think easy or whatever but it couldnt be further from the truth. I have a lot of self respect and certainly arnt easy so it just goes to show that people arnt always what u expect.
  • auticus
    auticus Posts: 1,051 Member
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    It's the double edged sword of beauty. You have to actually farm through the lemmings leaping on you for the right one. It can be just as isolating and lonely as the unattractive person who has no lemmings at all trying to find the right one.

    Just stop generalizing an entire gender of people. A saying I learned in my mid 20s which carries with me today:

    Look at the things you are complaining about. Then find the common denominator. Then remove it.

    If the common denominator here is that all guys you (general you) are interacting with are only after your booty then you need to figure out why that is and remove it. That could be dress, how you act, what you say, what vibes you give off, or a combination of all the above.

    If the common denominator is you then you need to fix you (general you).
  • Charloo1990
    Charloo1990 Posts: 619 Member
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    Could you be giving off an aura of sexual availability without realising? I've learnt recently that many people cannot see past a persons look or image. People, and I believe men especially - being more visual creatures, respond to outward appearance and may make assumptions.

    Men look at me, in my 1940's suits and set hair and think I'm prim when I'm actually a raving sexpot who wants to be manhandled into a cupboard and thoroughly but consensually abused at the earliest opportunity. Sigh.
    Thats fair enought and ur actualy right but theres is where the saying "don't judge a book by its cover" comes in. Like u say about ur appearance and what people would expect from it, well in my case i have blonde hair, big books, wear hair extensions, wear fake tan ect and some guys would probs maybe look at that and think easy or whatever but it couldnt be further from the truth. I have a lot of self respect and certainly arnt easy so it just goes to show that people arnt always what u expect.
    Ahhh, i should really read my post before i actualy post it lol. I meant big boobs not big books, what the hell ha.
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,370 Member
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    How about sexting after the first few dates? Damn here is some hotties in here today!!
    Personally i find that a turn off. I like to really get to know someone properly before i feel comfortable with them in that respect.

    You might be tough but I'm sure a few roses, a good meal and a slow dance will lighten you up ;) Us men are awesome when it comes to seducing

    Us men also can tell when something is creepy and you are right at that line.
  • Jaxster12
    Jaxster12 Posts: 25 Member
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    How about sexting after the first few dates? Damn here is some hotties in here today!!
    Personally i find that a turn off. I like to really get to know someone properly before i feel comfortable with them in that respect.

    You might be tough but I'm sure a few roses, a good meal and a slow dance will lighten you up ;) Us men are awesome when it comes to seducing

    Us men also can tell when something is creepy and you are right at that line.

    Not quite creepy but I sure know how to use my charm to get what I want ;)
  • Nitachi
    Nitachi Posts: 142
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    How about sexting after the first few dates? Damn here is some hotties in here today!!
    Personally i find that a turn off. I like to really get to know someone properly before i feel comfortable with them in that respect.

    You might be tough but I'm sure a few roses, a good meal and a slow dance will lighten you up ;) Us men are awesome when it comes to seducing

    Us men also can tell when something is creepy and you are right at that line.

    Ditto
  • Smuterella
    Smuterella Posts: 1,623 Member
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    Could you be giving off an aura of sexual availability without realising? I've learnt recently that many people cannot see past a persons look or image. People, and I believe men especially - being more visual creatures, respond to outward appearance and may make assumptions.

    Men look at me, in my 1940's suits and set hair and think I'm prim when I'm actually a raving sexpot who wants to be manhandled into a cupboard and thoroughly but consensually abused at the earliest opportunity. Sigh.
    Thats fair enought and ur actualy right but theres is where the saying "don't judge a book by its cover" comes in. Like u say about ur appearance and what people would expect from it, well in my case i have blonde hair, big books, wear hair extensions, wear fake tan ect and some guys would probs maybe look at that and think easy or whatever but it couldnt be further from the truth. I have a lot of self respect and certainly arnt easy so it just goes to show that people arnt always what u expect.
    Ahhh, i should really read my post before i actualy post it lol. I meant big boobs not big books, what the hell ha.

    Ha! Well, I always make sure anyone I date has big books. that is one of my dating rules, in the words of the wonderful John Waters...."If you go home with someone and they don't have books, don't sleep with them" *edited for swearing
  • Nitachi
    Nitachi Posts: 142
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    Could you be giving off an aura of sexual availability without realising? I've learnt recently that many people cannot see past a persons look or image. People, and I believe men especially - being more visual creatures, respond to outward appearance and may make assumptions.

    Men look at me, in my 1940's suits and set hair and think I'm prim when I'm actually a raving sexpot who wants to be manhandled into a cupboard and thoroughly but consensually abused at the earliest opportunity. Sigh.
    Thats fair enought and ur actualy right but theres is where the saying "don't judge a book by its cover" comes in. Like u say about ur appearance and what people would expect from it, well in my case i have blonde hair, big books, wear hair extensions, wear fake tan ect and some guys would probs maybe look at that and think easy or whatever but it couldnt be further from the truth. I have a lot of self respect and certainly arnt easy so it just goes to show that people arnt always what u expect.

    Ever dated a foreign guy with different moral values? Might be interesting and some men of different culture cherish their woman a lot more.
  • Charloo1990
    Charloo1990 Posts: 619 Member
    Options
    It's the double edged sword of beauty. You have to actually farm through the lemmings leaping on you for the right one. It can be just as isolating and lonely as the unattractive person who has no lemmings at all trying to find the right one.

    Just stop generalizing an entire gender of people. A saying I learned in my mid 20s which carries with me today:

    Look at the things you are complaining about. Then find the common denominator. Then remove it.

    If the common denominator here is that all guys you (general you) are interacting with are only after your booty then you need to figure out why that is and remove it. That could be dress, how you act, what you say, what vibes you give off, or a combination of all the above.

    If the common denominator is you then you need to fix you (general you).
    Fair point but you shouldnt have to change urself. I'l never change for anyone, how i dress ect i dress for me. How someone looks doesnt brand them a certain person. End of the day, i DO think theres someone out that for everyone thats a perfect match, its just a matter of finding that person and when u do eventualy, you'll realise it was worth the wait :) And on that note im off for a bath, spent way too much time on here and my lappy is painfully slow. I think on this subject everyone has different oppions and we'r all entitled to them :smile:
  • Charloo1990
    Charloo1990 Posts: 619 Member
    Options
    Could you be giving off an aura of sexual availability without realising? I've learnt recently that many people cannot see past a persons look or image. People, and I believe men especially - being more visual creatures, respond to outward appearance and may make assumptions.

    Men look at me, in my 1940's suits and set hair and think I'm prim when I'm actually a raving sexpot who wants to be manhandled into a cupboard and thoroughly but consensually abused at the earliest opportunity. Sigh.
    Thats fair enought and ur actualy right but theres is where the saying "don't judge a book by its cover" comes in. Like u say about ur appearance and what people would expect from it, well in my case i have blonde hair, big books, wear hair extensions, wear fake tan ect and some guys would probs maybe look at that and think easy or whatever but it couldnt be further from the truth. I have a lot of self respect and certainly arnt easy so it just goes to show that people arnt always what u expect.

    Ever dated a foreign guy with different moral values? Might be interesting and some men of different culture cherish their woman a lot more.
    Nope, i havnt had the opportunity but i'd never rule it out :smile: lol
  • auticus
    auticus Posts: 1,051 Member
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    That's fair but on the same token if you are the common denominator in your issues and you don't want to change, then you can't really complain about what you are attracting changing either.

    It's like the fat guy constantly complaining that he can't date but he won't get off the couch and workout.
  • La_Amazona
    La_Amazona Posts: 4,855 Member
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    I was just talking about this yesterday.

    I am new to dating too after being married for 10 years.

    I'm 32.. I've been dating guys in age range 30-45 so far.

    I don't give it up. Just recently I was a bit more intimiate with a guy whom I really felt comfortable with. We're friends though.

    In my short experience of dating (3-4 months) my guys have all been "good". None of them have treated me like they were only after 1 thing. They're all gentlemen. If they were only after one thing well they didn't get it and either got tired of waiting or moved on to the next.

    I'm selective of who I go out with. I don't go out with just anybody and feel like so far I've made good choices.

    I'm sure there are *kitten* out there.. if you come across one, just next him- not a problem. Just try to be selective of who you go out with.

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