Are blokes only after one thing?????
Replies
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This thread has gone crazy, and I still dont know what to do from when I first posted it last night!!!!
Think I need to report back to my work friends that life in London isnt as bad as what Ive read on here - with the rude picture messages and crude texts!! People at work are all very "sensible" people too, so I never hear from anyone "Just go for it!!"
Any tips from a safety point of view? I dont want to go back to his flat and end up on the front page of the paper the next morning with "MISSING" underneath it!!!0 -
Fixed that for you
Personally i find that a turn off. I like to really get to know someone properly before i feel comfortable with them in that respect.How about sexting after the first few dates? Damn here is some hotties in here today!!
You might be tough but I'm sure a few roses, a good meal and a slow dance will lighten you up
Us men are awesome when it comes to seducing
Us men also can tell when something is creepy and you are right at that line.
Not quite creepy but I sure know how to use ruffies to get what I want0 -
Stay away from the EU version of Craig's ListThis thread has gone crazy, and I still dont know what to do from when I first posted it last night!!!!
Think I need to report back to my work friends that life in London isnt as bad as what Ive read on here - with the rude picture messages and crude texts!! People at work are all very "sensible" people too, so I never hear from anyone "Just go for it!!"
Any tips from a safety point of view? I dont want to go back to his flat and end up on the front page of the paper the next morning with "MISSING" underneath it!!!0 -
This thread has gone crazy, and I still dont know what to do from when I first posted it last night!!!!
Think I need to report back to my work friends that life in London isnt as bad as what Ive read on here - with the rude picture messages and crude texts!! People at work are all very "sensible" people too, so I never hear from anyone "Just go for it!!"
Any tips from a safety point of view? I dont want to go back to his flat and end up on the front page of the paper the next morning with "MISSING" underneath it!!!
Tell a friend his address, phone number and tell them you'll check in by text or something at a certain time.0 -
Fair point but you shouldnt have to change urself. I'l never change for anyone, how i dress ect i dress for me. How someone looks doesnt brand them a certain person. End of the day, i DO think theres someone out that for everyone thats a perfect match, its just a matter of finding that person and when u do eventualy, you'll realise it was worth the wait
And on that note im off for a bath, spent way too much time on here and my lappy is painfully slow. I think on this subject everyone has different oppions and we'r all entitled to them
Do you find the blokes are like that you meet all come from the same place eg in a bar/club?0 -
find the common denominator. Then remove it.
If the common denominator here is that all guys you (general you) are interacting with are only after your booty then you need to figure out why that is and remove it. That could be dress, how you act, what you say, what vibes you give off, or a combination of all the above.
If the common denominator is you then you need to fix you (general you).
Is that like saying a girl dressed in a mini skirt deserved to be raped?0 -
Nopeee, met guys thru friends and twice from a dating site. Like i once went on a date with this guy from a dating site who seemed really nice. After the date he text of which part of it said "u turned me on so much". I thought he seemed so genuin untill i read that. Total put off. Anywho i really am off now lol. Chow everyone 0
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find the common denominator. Then remove it.
If the common denominator here is that all guys you (general you) are interacting with are only after your booty then you need to figure out why that is and remove it. That could be dress, how you act, what you say, what vibes you give off, or a combination of all the above.
If the common denominator is you then you need to fix you (general you).
Is that like saying a girl dressed in a mini skirt deserved to be raped?
No. No it is not like saying a girl in a mini skirt deserves to be raped. However, a mini skirt is intended to create an arousing response in men - this assumes that 99.99% have some degee of self control.0 -
from the safety and smugness of a happy marriage, but having driven myself wild in the past when I was a 30'something singleton, trying to figure guys out, I have to say if I did it again I would a/ do it with a minimum of alcohol!!!!!!!!!!! and b/ just talk to the guy. Like he's like a normal human being. Don't get caught up in what he wants but make sure he knows what you want,
the tough part is many young men, and many of those players which I seemed to be a magnet for in my 30's being blonde and petite and ahem, playful, is they THINK they just want to play when really they miss out on so much in treating women that way. Unfortunately it can be hard for guys to get you know you for you because many won't bother unless there is something in it for them i.e. sex. So you get caught between a rock and a (pardon the expression in this context! ) a hard place. Guys which are actually quite ideal for you but don't see you that way, because they have either lost interest because you won't "put out" so have gone elsewhere to someone who will, or they don't respect you enough because you "put out". Unfortunately the battle between the sexes is not over and there is still that double standard going on.
anyone confused by my rant yet??!!!0 -
find the common denominator. Then remove it.
If the common denominator here is that all guys you (general you) are interacting with are only after your booty then you need to figure out why that is and remove it. That could be dress, how you act, what you say, what vibes you give off, or a combination of all the above.
If the common denominator is you then you need to fix you (general you).
Is that like saying a girl dressed in a mini skirt deserved to be raped?
Um.... no. How rape even got into this conversation eludes me...
That's saying if you look, dress, and act like Snooki you will attract Jersey Shore type *kitten*, not invite yourself to be raped.
If you look, dress, and act like a victorian lady, you will be called a prude even if you aren't, and attract guys who are into that kind of thing.
If you look, dress, and act like a dominatrix, you will attract submissive males.
Really woman... some guy must have totally burnt you a nice sized chip0 -
from the safety and smugness of a happy marriage, but having driven myself wild in the past when I was a 30'something singleton, trying to figure guys out, I have to say if I did it again I would a/ do it with a minimum of alcohol!!!!!!!!!!! and b/ just talk to the guy. Like he's like a normal human being. Don't get caught up in what he wants but make sure he knows what you want,
the tough part is many young men, and many of those players which I seemed to be a magnet for in my 30's being blonde and petite and ahem, playful, is they THINK they just want to play when really they miss out on so much in treating women that way. Unfortunately it can be hard for guys to get you know you for you because many won't bother unless there is something in it for them i.e. sex. So you get caught between a rock and a (pardon the expression in this context! ) a hard place. Guys which are actually quite ideal for you but don't see you that way, because they have either lost interest because you won't "put out" so have gone elsewhere to someone who will, or they don't respect you enough because you "put out". Unfortunately the battle between the sexes is not over and there is still that double standard going on.
anyone confused by my rant yet??!!!
A little bit, I dont know what the answer is!!0 -
find the common denominator. Then remove it.
If the common denominator here is that all guys you (general you) are interacting with are only after your booty then you need to figure out why that is and remove it. That could be dress, how you act, what you say, what vibes you give off, or a combination of all the above.
If the common denominator is you then you need to fix you (general you).
Is that like saying a girl dressed in a mini skirt deserved to be raped?
I was waiting for someone to raise the "rape" banner. I don't think that is what he is trying to say at all. I'm feminist and proud but, but, dressing in a way which suggests sexual availability and then being offended when people assume that you are sexually available seems a little hypocritical. I'm uncomfortable with saying that but unfortunately people do make assumptions based on how you look.0 -
Exactly. When you go out in public and appear to be something, intentional or not, you will attract things that are caught by those vibes.
If shallow guys who just want to use you as a receptacle for their liquid-love are what you are attracting predominantly, look at why exactly that is if it bothers you.
I have long hair, a belly, and like heavy metal. Guess what assumptions are made of me? That I'm uneducated, live with my parents, smoke a lot of things I shouldn't, and have a vocabulary that competes with a chinchilla.
None of those things are true, in fact I've graduated from college, have been on my own since 18, don't touch drugs, and have a fairly successful career and writing prospects as well as musical prospects, but we as a society are visually oriented and assume based on appearances.
Which is a shame.
But it is what it is.0 -
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.0
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Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Bingo. And then complaining about it.0 -
I disagree with this. Very strongly. yes especially in the UK there are many young women who dress like complete slappers but I would assume they are aware of this and take what comes to them. However some younger girls I think there is a bit of naivity at play.
that said us women can be big soffties, and most men will give it a try, at least, and if you are soft y ou can back down. Especially if you haven't had sex for like six months yourself and wouldn't mind some. So it is pretty offensive to say its just the way the woman dresses and thats why she's being hit on. frankly if the guy wanted to date her, he therefore found her sexually desireable (and lets face it anyone heard the expression used in some male circles "any holes a goal?!" ) So he's going to try it on and you know its not always that easy to say no. It shouldn't for a decent guy preclude a relationship many good relationships are the result of one night stands. An intelligent guy would not judge a woman by this. Especially a previously married woman in her 30's for goodness sake.0 -
Oh, most of my relationships have come after sex on the first date - I like to try before I buy.0
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find the common denominator. Then remove it.
If the common denominator here is that all guys you (general you) are interacting with are only after your booty then you need to figure out why that is and remove it. That could be dress, how you act, what you say, what vibes you give off, or a combination of all the above.
If the common denominator is you then you need to fix you (general you).
Is that like saying a girl dressed in a mini skirt deserved to be raped?
Um.... no. How rape even got into this conversation eludes me...
That's saying if you look, dress, and act like Snooki you will attract Jersey Shore type *kitten*, not invite yourself to be raped.
If you look, dress, and act like a victorian lady, you will be called a prude even if you aren't, and attract guys who are into that kind of thing.
If you look, dress, and act like a dominatrix, you will attract submissive males.
Really woman... some guy must have totally burnt you a nice sized chip
I was just wondering that is all. With your logic with the rest of it - dressing like a slapper should get you a nice guy right? You are quoting opposites.
I am a well balanced Aussie - I have a chip on both shoulders!!! Joking. :laugh:
I am just reporting what I see and experience (and I don't wear mini skirts out).0 -
Oh, most of my relationships have come after sex on the first date - I like to try before I buy.
Aren't you afraid of catching aids or any stds for that matter?0 -
I disagree with this. Very strongly. yes especially in the UK there are many young women who dress like complete slappers but I would assume they are aware of this and take what comes to them. However some younger girls I think there is a bit of naivity at play.
that said us women can be big soffties, and most men will give it a try, at least, and if you are soft y ou can back down. Especially if you haven't had sex for like six months yourself and wouldn't mind some. So it is pretty offensive to say its just the way the woman dresses and thats why she's being hit on. frankly if the guy wanted to date her, he therefore found her sexually desireable (and lets face it anyone heard the expression used in some male circles "any holes a goal?!" ) So he's going to try it on and you know its not always that easy to say no. It shouldn't for a decent guy preclude a relationship many good relationships are the result of one night stands. An intelligent guy would not judge a woman by this. Especially a previously married woman in her 30's for goodness sake.
A) you are assuming that, once again, this is a male-only trait and that women are somehow being victimized by it. Which it is not. I know plenty of women who "try before you buy".
I never said how a woman dresses is why she's being hit on. I mentioned that as a part of a reason of why SHALLOW GUYS THAT ONLY WANT ONE THING may be the predominant male attention she is getting.
If the complaint is "the predominant male attention i am getting is from men who just want one thing" then she is putting out vibes that those type of men are picking up on and swarming in on.
That can be as insulting as you want to take it, but if a woman is dressed provocatively, she is going to be drawing attention, whether that is knowingly or being young and not knowing any better, and the type of guys that are going to approach a woman who is dressed like that is typically going to be a guy that is after her booty for the night.0 -
I disagree with this. Very strongly. yes especially in the UK there are many young women who dress like complete slappers but I would assume they are aware of this and take what comes to them. However some younger girls I think there is a bit of naivity at play.
Hope you're from the Uk to say that!!
But I totally agree. Go out on a Saturday night and some of the sights!!! But these girls are all about getting pi$$ed, pi$$ed and more pi$$ed, they arent looking for a nice bloke dressed like that!
I do think there is some truth to how people dress. Its sooo easy to judge people by what they wear, which is unfortunate but is a fact of life. Whether it be how a girl dresses on a Saturday night, how a religious person dresses etc.0 -
I was just wondering that is all. With your logic with the rest of it - dressing like a slapper should get you a nice guy right? You are quoting opposites.
I am a well balanced Aussie - I have a chip on both shoulders!!! Joking. :laugh:
I am just reporting what I see and experience (and I don't wear mini skirts out).
Provide context to what I am contradicting myself with and I'll put it in order for you. I never insinuated that "dressing like a slapper will get you a nice guy". Dressing like that will get you male attention period. The quality will be mixed but predominantly will come from shallow guys who just want a piece. If the problem is "i can't find nice guys I'm attracted to they all just seem to want a piece of a** and then leave" then you have to look at the pool of men you are pulling from and why that is.0 -
Oh, most of my relationships have come after sex on the first date - I like to try before I buy.
Aren't you afraid of catching aids or any stds for that matter?
Ummm HELLO - condoms. And regular STD testing even though you are having 100% safe sex is still important.0 -
find the common denominator. Then remove it.
If the common denominator here is that all guys you (general you) are interacting with are only after your booty then you need to figure out why that is and remove it. That could be dress, how you act, what you say, what vibes you give off, or a combination of all the above.
If the common denominator is you then you need to fix you (general you).
Is that like saying a girl dressed in a mini skirt deserved to be raped?
I was waiting for someone to raise the "rape" banner. I don't think that is what he is trying to say at all. I'm feminist and proud but, but, dressing in a way which suggests sexual availability and then being offended when people assume that you are sexually available seems a little hypocritical. I'm uncomfortable with saying that but unfortunately people do make assumptions based on how you look.
See, I think it is wrong to assume anything on peoples clothing - or lack of it for that matter. I don't see why anyone shouldn't feel upset if someone assumes because she looks a certain way (not just snooki but generally) she should invite unwanted attention.
I guess (and I am not being tardy here) you admitted you do like to have sex st8 up so it would be hard to understand why girls that don't want to be used and abused feel upset by these generalisations of they would have sex immediately. I don't dress in anyway provocative, nor do I go out dating or to meet people but it seems anyone you talk to has it on their mind and try to score. I find it offensive and it is probably due to the fact that a high % of people are winners for them nowadays. Nothing ventured, nothing gained kind of attitudes.0 -
It is completely wrong to make assumptions BUT it is simple human nature to do so. Can't change that. An intelligent person will question those assumptions, sadly intelligent people are few and far between.0
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Oh and before you all make your judgements, yes, I have no problem with sex on a first date if i like someone but I have also been celibate for 2 years until very recently. Being sexually open does not equal constantly having your legs open.0
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I didn't read through all the posts but if you want to find the right kind of man there is only one place to look. Church. I mean real church, not go through the motions church! For what it's worth.0
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See, I think it is wrong to assume anything on peoples clothing - or lack of it for that matter. I don't see why anyone shouldn't feel upset if someone assumes because she looks a certain way (not just snooki but generally) she should invite unwanted attention.
I guess (and I am not being tardy here) you admitted you do like to have sex st8 up so it would be hard to understand why girls that don't want to be used and abused feel upset by these generalisations of they would have sex immediately. I don't dress in anyway provocative, nor do I go out dating or to meet people but it seems anyone you talk to has it on their mind and try to score. I find it offensive and it is probably due to the fact that a high % of people are winners for them nowadays. Nothing ventured, nothing gained kind of attitudes.
I think its wrong for many people to assume I'm a lazy slothful uneducated unambitious stoner who lives at home due to my hair, musical tastes, and belly, but that's the world we live in. I dont' make the rules, I just try to understand them and often circumvent them
I don't know where I even spoke about my preferences in regards to what I want in those regards. I like women. I will tell it straight that I play in bands, and that when women who are dressed in a way I find "easy" approach me, I am polite to them and that's about it, because while physically I am turned on by women who dress that way, I don't want that anymore.
I don't really hit on women at all because that's not my nature. If I flirt with someone it's because I really like them.0 -
I was just wondering that is all. With your logic with the rest of it - dressing like a slapper should get you a nice guy right? You are quoting opposites.
I am a well balanced Aussie - I have a chip on both shoulders!!! Joking. :laugh:
I am just reporting what I see and experience (and I don't wear mini skirts out).
Provide context to what I am contradicting myself with and I'll put it in order for you. I never insinuated that "dressing like a slapper will get you a nice guy". Dressing like that will get you male attention period. The quality will be mixed but predominantly will come from shallow guys who just want a piece. If the problem is "i can't find nice guys I'm attracted to they all just seem to want a piece of a** and then leave" then you have to look at the pool of men you are pulling from and why that is.
Dominatrix = submissive???? I don't see some nerdy guy approaching one of these women - that's all.
As you say - male attention of mixed quality - this probably equates to the OP question - blokes are usually after one thing.
I think in my *own* case it is a matter of where I live - the place is full of at best blue collar workers (mainly derived from a particular country too) that have ego and self image problems and very basic educations. They are also often in high paying jobs (we refer to them as CUBs - cashed up bogans) where they are then completely looked after and have a distorted view of their own importance and value.
You may be right - but I just don't see why what someone wears should lead someone to assume she would give out sex st8 up.0 -
Oh, most of my relationships have come after sex on the first date - I like to try before I buy.
Aren't you afraid of catching aids or any stds for that matter?
Ummm HELLO - condoms. And regular STD testing even though you are having 100% safe sex is still important.
What about those warts and herpes??0
This discussion has been closed.
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