Are blokes only after one thing?????
Replies
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Wow this got so many more posts than what I thought!! And all you Americans making fun on my accent, then using your own weird language!!
I'm not saying that sex is only what blokes (guys, dudes, what ever :-) ) but going out on 2 dates, not sleeping with him, then for him to say "oh sorry, I don't want a relationship", WTF? Maybe it's just me, but I don't sleep with guys after only meeting them twice and actually don't know anything about them. That's not being prudish is it? And who's to assume I wanted the relationship anyway? You were right what you said above, that we don't talk about it so no-one knows where they stand. Sometimes us ladies want some fun too, but not after 2 dates.
I was only 17 when starting with my ex, so feel like I have no idea what the hell is going on!! :laugh:
what more do you need to know about a guy to *kitten* him than his name and whether he bathes regularly?
i dont get the outdated view on sex.
its fun right? if you use a condom who cares!
Alright...so what's the over/under on add requests after this post?0 -
They are only after one thing because our world has made being a *kitten* extremely popular..now, if women were to actually start acting like ladies the majority of the time, this might not be so..But with shows on television making anyone who DOESN'T screw on the first date or after the first drink virtually deplorable..I'd say..if you want a decent guy..look somewhere decent. I won't say church because that is so not true..just keep up your boundaries unless being a slut is fine with you..:-)
why does enjoying sex make you a slut?
Hope not!!0 -
why does enjoying sex make you a slut?
Hope not!!
[/quote]
It doesn't, people just like to label. Sad really. Would be nice if everyone wasn't so judgmental.
For me, there is nothing more attractive in a woman that she feels safe in her body and is able to express it in a sexual way when we are together and in mindful when we are apart. Knowing she is missing me, like I her, is bliss.0 -
Anyone else from the states digging the name 'bloke'. I'm going to have to add that one to my vocabulary. :bigsmile:
I'm from Canada and totally diggin it!!! LOL is it like the English equivalent of Dude?? :bigsmile:
Usually I have to google what you lot are talking about!! 0 -
So after chatting to the single girls in the office today, it appears that all the single blokes out there are only after one thing!! After being with my ex-husband for 10 years, I am now terrified I'm going to have to wade through all this crap to find a decent bloke! Now, is this a London thing or are blokes like this everywhere?? Any tips for getting through this as painless as possible, without feeling like a loser when you realise you and him are after very different things?!?!
Here, we don't call them blokes, we call them idiots haha.0 -
They are only after one thing because our world has made being a *kitten* extremely popular..now, if women were to actually start acting like ladies the majority of the time, this might not be so..But with shows on television making anyone who DOESN'T screw on the first date or after the first drink virtually deplorable..I'd say..if you want a decent guy..look somewhere decent. I won't say church because that is so not true..just keep up your boundaries unless being a slut is fine with you..:-)
why does enjoying sex make you a slut?
It doesn't IMO - it's meant to be pleasurable and that's an old, prudish standpoint. The fact the poster you quoted implies they are religious and then displays a superiority complex in the same line is all too common an occurence.0 -
why does enjoying sex make you a slut?
Hope not!!
It doesn't, people just like to label. Sad really. Would be nice if everyone wasn't so judgmental.
[/quote]
Exactly, and I think you start to think what other people tell you to think. I could have so easily have gone to his the second night, but though nope, that's not what us ladies do, rather than what I wanted to do0 -
Anyone else from the states digging the name 'bloke'. I'm going to have to add that one to my vocabulary. :bigsmile:
I'm from Canada and totally diggin it!!! LOL is it like the English equivalent of Dude?? :bigsmile:
Usually I have to google what you lot are talking about!!
I had to do the same for "bloke". :bigsmile:0 -
do what feels right for you Nicola, sod what anyone else thinks.
if you wanna bang, bang.
if you wanna tash on, do it!0 -
do what feels right for you Nicola, sod what anyone else thinks.
if you wanna bang, bang.
if you wanna tash on, do it!
Exactly. Just live the life you wanna live, not what people say you should. Life is about the experiences you have and if you miss the experiences, what kind of life will you have led? I'd rather look back and think "wow, that was ace, rather than why didn't I do..."
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do what feels right for you Nicola, sod what anyone else thinks.
if you wanna bang, bang.
if you wanna tash on, do it!
Exactly. Just live the life you wanna live, not what people say you should. Life is about the experiences you have and if you miss the experiences, what kind of life will you have led? I'd rather look back and think "wow, that was ace, rather than why didn't I do..."
regret the things you didnt do, not the things you did.0 -
Anyone else from the states digging the name 'bloke'. I'm going to have to add that one to my vocabulary. :bigsmile:
I'm from Canada and totally diggin it!!! LOL is it like the English equivalent of Dude?? :bigsmile:
Usually I have to google what you lot are talking about!!
I had to do the same for "bloke". :bigsmile:
Oh the language barriers we have!!0 -
I went to Australia and thoroughly enjoyed all the 'bloody blokes'Anyone else from the states digging the name 'bloke'. I'm going to have to add that one to my vocabulary. :bigsmile:
I'm from Canada and totally diggin it!!! LOL is it like the English equivalent of Dude?? :bigsmile:
Usually I have to google what you lot are talking about!!
I had to do the same for "bloke". :bigsmile:
Oh the language barriers we have!!0 -
do what feels right for you Nicola, sod what anyone else thinks.
if you wanna bang, bang.
if you wanna tash on, do it!
Exactly. Just live the life you wanna live, not what people say you should. Life is about the experiences you have and if you miss the experiences, what kind of life will you have led? I'd rather look back and think "wow, that was ace, rather than why didn't I do..."
regret the things you didnt do, not the things you did.
You guys are so right! And Im doing that by working on changing my career, so why not with my personal life?? Being single is a great way to do that!
And after being on MFP for so long, Im going to want to show off my new hot, ripped body!!!! :laugh:0 -
I'm only after one thing, and that one thing is sleep. Seriously how hard is it to get a decent night's sleep?0
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You guys are so right! And Im doing that by working on changing my career, so why not with my personal life?? Being single is a great way to do that!
And after being on MFP for so long, Im going to want to show off my new hot, ripped body!!!! :laugh:
Good - can't wait for you to do both. Its great to hear about someone is extremely happy and life is good :smokin:
The other thing is people rarely lead the lives they tell you they should have!0 -
You guys are so right! And Im doing that by working on changing my career, so why not with my personal life?? Being single is a great way to do that!
And after being on MFP for so long, Im going to want to show off my new hot, ripped body!!!! :laugh:
Good - can't wait for you to do both. Its great to hear about someone is extremely happy and life is good :smokin:
The other thing is people rarely lead the lives they tell you they should have!
But now I regret what I didn't do. Opps!!0 -
Trouble is, not all men look good in an apron, thong and heels. :bigsmile:Yes........ a girl to make them sandwiches....... nekkid except for an apron, thongs and heels.0 -
Trouble is, not all men look good in an apron, thong and heels. :bigsmile:Yes........ a girl to make them sandwiches....... nekkid except for an apron, thongs and heels.
Maybe the apron and heels, but dont know about the thong......0 -
But now I regret what I didn't do. Opps!!
I presume you have a fone...0 -
But now I regret what I didn't do. Opps!!
I presume you have a fone...
"Hi! Um, Ive changed my mind...."0 -
But now I regret what I didn't do. Opps!!
I presume you have a fone...
"Hi! Um, Ive changed my mind...."
I can assure you, he won't say no to you meeting up for a little adult fun!0 -
They are only after one thing because our world has made being a *kitten* extremely popular..now, if women were to actually start acting like ladies the majority of the time, this might not be so..But with shows on television making anyone who DOESN'T screw on the first date or after the first drink virtually deplorable..I'd say..if you want a decent guy..look somewhere decent. I won't say church because that is so not true..just keep up your boundaries unless being a slut is fine with you..:-)
why does enjoying sex make you a slut?
It doesn't IMO - it's meant to be pleasurable and that's an old, prudish standpoint. The fact the poster you quoted implies they are religious and then displays a superiority complex in the same line is all too common an occurence.
Exactly. Some people like to act superior because their vagina has not been penetrated, or has been penetrated after four dates. So it's okay...
Apparently it's a great way to judge a persons worth and character, this whole penetration thing...0 -
Well, I seem to be about the only one who has this view, but last time I checked it was a free country, so I will express my views just as openly as all of you have. First of all, I do have religious convictions, however, many of you may not share those same convictions, so I will tell you what I think about all of this aside from that.
First of all, wanting to wait to have sex does not mean you are not a sexual person. It doesn't mean that at all. Nor does it mean that when you choose to have sex that you won't be open to having as much fun and as much excitement in your sexual relationship than someone who chooses to engage in sex openly and freely with whomever they want at whatever time they want. Nor does it mean that it abstaining is the easy road, or that you don't want to have sex.
Secondly, when I am dating someone, it is important to me that they get to know me- my personality, my likes and dislikes, my thoughts and passions. I know someone stated that they may as well find out right away if there's a problem in the sexual chemistry because it can be a relationship killer. However, I would say that if someone is not compatible with me on a personal, spiritual and emotional level, that is a relationship killer. When you have sex at the beginning of a relationship, I believe it has a great potential to develop a false bond with someone that you really don't know at all. I think this is also probably more true of women than of men, and I'm sure there are women who are the exception to that rule. Nonetheless, it is my opinion that sex should be a seal on a bond that has already formed, not bond something that's not yet put together.
Thirdly, I want to value myself. I'm not more valuable than the prostitute standing on the corner, but I hope I know my value better. I do not think that because I choose to abstain that I am a better person, or more worthy of accolades. I truly believe though, that each time you engage in sex with someone, you are giving them a part of yourself. I want to be able to give as much of myself as I can to the person I spend my life with.
Lastly, I guess if I just thought of sex as physical fun and euphoria (which of course it is), then I could say the same things that many of you are saying. Pardon me if I see it as being something more than that, and something to be shared with someone who I can entrust all of myself with- not just my body.0 -
Well, I seem to be about the only one who has this view, but last time I checked it was a free country, so I will express my views just as openly as all of you have. First of all, I do have religious convictions, however, many of you may not share those same convictions, so I will tell you what I think about all of this aside from that.
First of all, wanting to wait to have sex does not mean you are not a sexual person. It doesn't mean that at all. Nor does it mean that when you choose to have sex that you won't be open to having as much fun and as much excitement in your sexual relationship than someone who chooses to engage in sex openly and freely with whomever they want at whatever time they want. Nor does it mean that it abstaining is the easy road, or that you don't want to have sex.
Secondly, when I am dating someone, it is important to me that they get to know me- my personality, my likes and dislikes, my thoughts and passions. I know someone stated that they may as well find out right away if there's a problem in the sexual chemistry because it can be a relationship killer. However, I would say that if someone is not compatible with me on a personal, spiritual and emotional level, that is a relationship killer. When you have sex at the beginning of a relationship, I believe it has a great potential to develop a false bond with someone that you really don't know at all. I think this is also probably more true of women than of men, and I'm sure there are women who are the exception to that rule. Nonetheless, it is my opinion that sex should be a seal on a bond that has already formed, not bond something that's not yet put together.
Thirdly, I want to value myself. I'm not more valuable than the prostitute standing on the corner, but I hope I know my value better. I do not think that because I choose to abstain that I am a better person, or more worthy of accolades. I truly believe though, that each time you engage in sex with someone, you are giving them a part of yourself. I want to be able to give as much of myself as I can to the person I spend my life with.
Lastly, I guess if I just thought of sex as physical fun and euphoria (which of course it is), then I could say the same things that many of you are saying. Pardon me if I see it as being something more than that, and something to be shared with someone who I can entrust all of myself with- not just my body.
See this is the problem. Your value does NOT lie in whether you have slept with someone you don't know, nor are you giving them a part of yourself if you do. As much as you like to argue that you're not acting superior - you ARE. You said it yourself - it's hard refraining, but you can manage to (what you're really saying is that you can refrain because stronger than those silly women who sleep with anyone). You value yourself and take pride in the fact that you're not sleeping around. This is stuff you've been conditioned to learn since you were a child and that you continue to learn as an adult - but it's false.
What I'm trying to say is that there are much better ways to judge a persons value and integrity - and that does not lie in whether or not they have had sex, or how many times they have done so. The only reason women feel shame in having sexual relationships is because of people having your (widely held) beliefs.
In regards to the false bond comment - this happens in non-sexual relationships as well.
From my point of view and personal experience - I think having a long term relationship with someone that is not right for you, but you refrained from having sex with at the beginning and built up an emotional bond with, is much more detrimental to your mental health than having a few one night stands here or there. To conclude - meet people, laugh, have sex, say goodbye, and when you meet someone that's right for you - have sex with them again.0 -
I'm sorry you feel the way that you do. There was not anything judgmental in what I wrote. I knew as soon as I decided to post what I did that it would not be a popular opinion. Also, you said that my belief is a "widely held" belief, but if you will read the 6 pages of comments, you will see that I'm pretty much alone in what I posted. I'm sorry you think that I am self-righteous or arrogant, or that I think I'm better than everyone else. No, I do not believe that at all. I think a lot of women spend their lives not understanding that they do have worth- in their spirit, in their person, in their body, in all of those things. Not once have I engaged in name-calling, though plenty of people who hold the opposite opinion from me have done so. I will not engage in name-calling. People are precious to me.... the ones who have numerous one-night-stands, the ones who have never had sex. The ones who have gone to extremes of selling their bodies because they are desperate, or just want to- those women have just as much worth as I do. They are precious people, and no, I don't think their worth is dependant on how many times they've had sex or whom they have had sex with. You may think of me what you will, but that is truly what I believe. I won't continue to post on this thread as I feel I have said all that I needed to say.0
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I'm sorry you feel the way that you do. There was not anything judgmental in what I wrote. I knew as soon as I decided to post what I did that it would not be a popular opinion. Also, you said that my belief is a "widely held" belief, but if you will read the 6 pages of comments, you will see that I'm pretty much alone in what I posted. I'm sorry you think that I am self-righteous or arrogant, or that I think I'm better than everyone else. No, I do not believe that at all. I think a lot of women spend their lives not understanding that they do have worth- in their spirit, in their person, in their body, in all of those things. Not once have I engaged in name-calling, though plenty of people who hold the opposite opinion from me have done so. I will not engage in name-calling. People are precious to me.... the ones who have numerous one-night-stands, the ones who have never had sex. The ones who have gone to extremes of selling their bodies because they are desperate, or just want to- those women have just as much worth as I do. They are precious people, and no, I don't think their worth is dependant on how many times they've had sex or whom they have had sex with. You may think of me what you will, but that is truly what I believe. I won't continue to post on this thread as I feel I have said all that I needed to say.
I've changed my mind about you - you've actually got a pretty good attitude. Despite your archaic opinions about sex.
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...and in all seriousness, a guy can totally be looking for something long term and, believe or not, STILL want to nail you on the first date.
all guys WANT to nail you on the first date, doesn't mean you should let them or its a good idea.0 -
So ive decided I need to relax a little about this, and just enjoy myself!! After being in relationship for 10 years, I dont want to jump straight back into another one. I need to work out who I am as a adult (as I was 17 when started dating my husband). I work and live close to an amazing city, with so much opportunity to get out there and have fun!!
I suppose my question is, how do I not stress over just being in that "casual" relationship? How do I not get "sucked in" thinking "ooh where is this leading, does he like me" etc etc How do I relax about the whole thing and not let my mind get obsessed with thinking I should be in a relationship??0 -
bump0
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