Chris Brown- Have you forgiven him?

ffuunnnnyy__ggiirrll

What's ironic is that when my ex- husband beat me, he went to jail, for several months. I don't see any difference between him and Chris Brown, why did he serve more time then him?

When my ex-husband beat me, he lost his job. This was before he went to jail. Why didn't Chris Brown lose his?

When my ex-husband got out of jail, he was turned down for many, many jobs because of his criminal record. I don't believe anything like that happened to Chris Brown.

When my ex-husband beat me, he lost friends, family, many people turned their back on him. He couldn't go to his children's schools, games, etc. because of embarrassment for himself and to protect his children from humiliation. Did that happen to Chris Brown?

My ex-husband hasn't been forgiven by a lot of people for what he did to me. Why should anyone forgive Chris Brown?

Years later, people still make comments about it, he still can't get some jobs, he can't volunteer at his kid's schools or be their coach. Yes, I have forgiven him, as have his kids. The facts are that he is still being held accountable for his actions.

REAL people go to jail, they lose jobs, they are ostrasized, they suffer the consequences of their actions.
Why should celebrities be any different? Why should they not have to suffer the same consequences?

VeganInTraining

Here's my (probably unique) opinion as someone who has lived through pretty severe abuse...

Abuse is terrible and it causes not only the physical harm we can see (bruises, broken bones, etc), but it also can cause psychological harm.

Someone who has been abused is going to have issues with trust and security.

Aside from that, forgiveness is a choice that can be very healing.
When you forgive someone, you don't do it because they "deserve" it, and it doesn't mean that you put yourself back in that situation where you could get hurt again; you forgive so you can move forward.
As far as the abuser, their actions are going to have consequences. Unless they demonstrate true repentance - and even sometimes IF they demonstrate true repentance - people are not going to trust them again.

So have I forgiven Chris Brown? I had nothing to forgive - it didn't happen to me. I truly wish I could see more remorse and more demonstration that he has changed, but whether or not Rihanna has forgiven him is up to her.

Personally, I did forgive my abuser (not for his sake, since he never really did change as far as I know, but for my own sake) and don't think that he is solely defined by his abusive actions, but I certainly never put myself back in the situation to be abused by him again.
It doesn't mean he is worthless or evil, but it does mean that I could not trust him or be around him anymore, and he certainly did deserve consequences for his actions.

I learned from what happened, forgave, and moved on with my life instead of either going back or holding onto my bitterness or anger.

That's all a person really can do.

agreed

thor1god1of1awesome

Here is was brown did. Yeah looks like a real mistake....

_binary_jester_

Here is was brown did. Yeah looks like a real mistake....

Dude...seriously get a life.

seoid

I honestly could care less....

BeeElMarvin

Just curious... you ladies who seem unconcerned with his status as a woman abuser... does that translate to your thinking that in some situations it is "OK" to beat a woman? I, personally, can think of absolutely no justification for doing so - unless of course she had a knife or a gun to his head. Please explain your feelings. I do believe that it is not my place to "forgive" him for it, but I refuse to ignore it or condone it.

♥Faerie♥

I really could give a Faerie *kitten*...
I do not know this person, nor do I know Rianna.... they have no impact on my life what so ever, there are THOUSANDS upon THOUSANDS of women that are beaten every day by someone, maybe even someone you share this earth with....do you know about it? Probably not....does it effect your life? no.....
If you are in that situation..then it impacts your life more than anyone will ever know.....then you can choose if you forgive or not....but total strangers that I will never know....there is nothing to forgive

IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym

Here is was brown did. Yeah looks like a real mistake....

Dude...seriously get a life.

So, HE'S the one you tell to get a life for showing the immensity of the situation that so many are making light of and blaming HER for? Really?!? Wow.... Here, you might need this.

HotBodUnderConstruction

Here is was brown did. Yeah looks like a real mistake....

Dude...seriously get a life.

He stated in a previous comment that he was a victim of abuse. So, obviously, this topic is much more important to him than the average person. Just because you're overly flippant about the topic (yet you've posted how many times in this thread?) doesn't mean everyone else should be affected equally.

EmCarroll1990

I really could give a Faerie *kitten*...
I do not know this person, nor do I know Rianna.... they have no impact on my life what so ever, there are THOUSANDS upon THOUSANDS of women that are beaten every day by someone, maybe even someone you share this earth with....do you know about it? Probably not....does it effect your life? no.....
If you are in that situation..then it impacts your life more than anyone will ever know.....then you can choose if you forgive or not....but total strangers that I will never know....there is nothing to forgive

My stance is, this set the idea into many people's lives that IT'S OKAY. Like a strong woman posted before about her ex husband, why is it that he was able to go right back there, make more money, keep his job and such and it was okay?

They should have dealt with this properly. Just like the judge here in Canada did with the Muslim man that "honour killed" all the woman in his immediate family. IT IS NOT OKAY!

fbmandy55

My thing is everyone has a past and can change. He seems to be a better person now and most of all Rihanna forgiving him. I'm sure we all have done something that we would not like to be judged by for the rest of our lives! If you don't like him then don't support him.

He got angry and threw a chair through a window!!! So, I am not sure he can or will change. What would be his motivation to change his behavior now? He knows he can get away with it - still sell records, win grammys, etc.

Not to mention the lyrics of his new songs-saying that he has to turn the lights off with a curvy woman. Yeah, sounds like a really respectable man...

chachita7

Hmmmm... If he has talent, he has talent that is about it. It was a celebration of his talent what got him the standing ovation, he made a horrible mistake and noone is gonna forget that but his mistake has nothing to do with his talent.

We all make mistakes, some mistakes are bigger than other but nonetheless mistakes. How many things do professional sport players get away with, little slap on the hand and all is good, everyone is happy.

Anyhow, my thoughts. I think that Rhianna has come out stronger - i applaud her for not becoming a victim.

IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym

just real quick, those of you making excuses for his "MISTAKE" how many of you have had such a "MISTAKE" happen to you? And I sure as Hell don't expect anyone to answer this one, but how many of you have made the same "MISTAKE" yourself?

I'll start, I've had it happen, more than I care to admit and its in no way, shape or form funny, my fault or excusable, though can be forgiveable from the one it happened to.

mmgomez28

First of all I just want to say that I do not condone Violence of any kind.
Does he deserve a second chance? Yes he does, just like all of us do. He was wrong and made a mistake, he let his anger get the best of him. With that being said it is not up to me to forgive him. That's Rihanna's deal.
Rhingo Starr also beat up his wife and we still celebrate the music he made with the Beatles. I love the Beatles, and I've bought their discs and memorabilia. That does not mean that I condone Violence or drug use for that matter. I like Usher and have bought some of his songs, that does not mean I condone infidelity. So, buying a Chris Brown CD does not mean you are pro-violence.
Banks rob us blind everyday, but we still use them. Bush's administration went on a killing tirade in the Middle East, all in the name of "Freedom" and he was re-elected.
In terms of Rihanna, I think she's a total hypocrite. One day she's crying about what happened and the next she's saying that chains and whips excite her. In my opinion, she is sending the wrong message. If you are against violence, then you don't say those things. S/M does not open the door for violence in the future, but if you let your man hit you in bed, he might think it's ok to do it later. I don't think it's okay in any situation. It's like boxing and UFC, your kids see it on TV, people beating each other up for a couple of bucks and to entertain the world. They see all the blood and the cheering fans and think it's ok for them to practice that at school, just because they saw it on TV.
Again I think he was totally wrong for what he did. There is no excuse for hitting people. Whether it is a female or a male.

I'm not going to nit pik your post, but there is one thing that caught my attention. You talking about the "but if you let your man hit you in bed, he might think it's ok to do it later." My fiancé and I are rough, but he sure as *kitten* knows that is in the bedroom, there is no way in HELL my fiancé would lay a hand on me. Only a twisted person would think they could transfer a little roughness in the bedroom to beating the *kitten* out of their girlfriend somewhere else and think it's okay.

Please re-read it. I never said it's an excuse. I said that it does not open the door to violence. All I said is that if you let him hit you in bed, HE MIGHT THINK IT'S OK TO DO IT LATER. Operative word being MIGHT. Your man knows the boundaries, not all men do, or women for that matter. I'm a Puerto Rican living in the US, if I let any of my friends call me a "spik", then others might think it's ok to call me that. Just in case that is a derogatory term for Puerto Ricans.

Brandongood

Its not our job to judge him. Thats between him and the Lord. If he has true repentance for what he did, then I have no problem with him. No one is perfect, not one.

_binary_jester_

Here is was brown did. Yeah looks like a real mistake....

Dude...seriously get a life.

So, HE'S the one you tell to get a life for showing the immensity of the situation that so many are making light of and blaming HER for? Really?!? Wow.... Here, you might need this.

First...common sense will tell you that a pic like that will get this thread either locked or disappeared. Second, that was obviously post for shock value. Third, I post because it it threads like these that tell people HOW they should feel about a subject crack me up. if he thinks posting that picture will change ONE mind, well he can go hunting for snipes and unicorns next.

CorinthiaB

Here is was brown did. Yeah looks like a real mistake....

Yes he did that! He we before the criminal justice system. He was given probation. Does that mean I hate him and can never forgive him because he beat her. No it does not. I don't think people are saying it is ok to beat a woman or anyone for as that is concern. People are saying it is not up to them to forgive Chris Brown. I promise you, Chris Brown is not losing one minute of sleep because people who do not know him hasn't forgiven him. For those of you who haven't forgiven him or think he should have doen time, may be you should protest the laws associated with domestic violence. He had his day in court. May be it is not the Chris Browns of the world that we need to worry about. Perhaps we should focus on those that we elect who put these laws in place. Yes, I thought and think he was wrong for beating Rhianna. Yes, I thought he got off easy. However, I am pissed at the women I know personally who are beaten and yet there is little law enforcement. I am sick and damn tired of the police picking up the perpetrator and within an hour they are back. The legal system need to be changed to value women. It is very heartbreaking to hear a governor say that a person who committs a crime of passion is less likely to commit that crime again. The powers that be our lawmakers do not value the life of a woman.

Furthermore, if I think it is parents duty to teach their daughters that they must love themselves first. It is important that we teach women that self love is the best love and that they deserve and must demand respect. I can assure you that abuse doesn't start off being physical. It is a progressive cycle. It started with those small things that we so often take as being cute or he/she is jealous. We too often dismiss the signs until it is too late. My point is teach your child to identify these signs and take action before it is a beating. Chris Brown or Leroy Brown it doesn't make a difference. Set the bar as to what is not acceptable. I promise you Chris Brown is not the only high profile man to have beaten a woman and he will not be the last. Emotional and mental abuse is just as bad or worse than physical abuse. Stand up against the violence or shut the hell up! Forgiving or forgetting is not solving the problem!

raven56706

love that my thread exploded to something else... lol


chris brown is a loser and it would have been different if he did the time.... You know what... Roman Polanski got an award for oscars but no one forgave him... they clapped but no standing ovation...

IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym

Here is was brown did. Yeah looks like a real mistake....

Dude...seriously get a life.

So, HE'S the one you tell to get a life for showing the immensity of the situation that so many are making light of and blaming HER for? Really?!? Wow.... Here, you might need this.

First...common sense will tell you that a pic like that will get this thread either locked or disappeared. Second, that was obviously post for shock value. Third, I post because it it threads like these that tell people HOW they should feel about a subject crack me up. if he thinks posting that picture will change ONE mind, well he can go hunting for snipes and unicorns next.

then, how about instead of the one who posted the pic, how about you make your comment to the OP, instead?

mmgomez28

First of all I just want to say that I do not condone Violence of any kind.
Does he deserve a second chance? Yes he does, just like all of us do. He was wrong and made a mistake, he let his anger get the best of him. With that being said it is not up to me to forgive him. That's Rihanna's deal.
Rhingo Starr also beat up his wife and we still celebrate the music he made with the Beatles. I love the Beatles, and I've bought their discs and memorabilia. That does not mean that I condone Violence or drug use for that matter. I like Usher and have bought some of his songs, that does not mean I condone infidelity. So, buying a Chris Brown CD does not mean you are pro-violence.
Banks rob us blind everyday, but we still use them. Bush's administration went on a killing tirade in the Middle East, all in the name of "Freedom" and he was re-elected.
In terms of Rihanna, I think she's a total hypocrite. One day she's crying about what happened and the next she's saying that chains and whips excite her. In my opinion, she is sending the wrong message. If you are against violence, then you don't say those things. S/M does not open the door for violence in the future, but if you let your man hit you in bed, he might think it's ok to do it later. I don't think it's okay in any situation. It's like boxing and UFC, your kids see it on TV, people beating each other up for a couple of bucks and to entertain the world. They see all the blood and the cheering fans and think it's ok for them to practice that at school, just because they saw it on TV.
Again I think he was totally wrong for what he did. There is no excuse for hitting people. Whether it is a female or a male.

Did you just compare Chris Brown beating the crap out of Rihanna to UFC?

No I did not! Two different paragraphs. One has nothing to do with the other. What I was referring to was: In my opinion, she is sending the wrong message. If you are against violence, then you don't say those things. S/M does not open the door for violence in the future, but if you let your man hit you in bed, he might think it's ok to do it later. I don't think it's okay in any situation. It's like boxing and UFC, your kids see it on TV, people beating each other up for a couple of bucks and to entertain the world. They see all the blood and the cheering fans and think it's ok for them to practice that at school, just because they saw it on TV.