Angry Deleted Fitness Pals?

Options
123468

Replies

  • MelissaT81
    MelissaT81 Posts: 123 Member
    Options
    We are here to support each other NOT friend collect. If you can't be supportive and encouraging you're going to be deleted and honestly I could care less if you talk crap. I am better than that and don't need or want people like that in my life. I am on here to be a positive influence for people and expect the same in return. This isn't facebook or myspace so grow up people!
  • Angelabec
    Angelabec Posts: 505 Member
    Options
    This just reminded me of a situation that happened the other week. I got a friend req from a fairly new person with a similar starting weight to my own, and a message with it asking what I had done to lose my weight. I accepted the request, sent a fairly long reply saying what I do, but also mentioning that as our domestic situations were quite different that I wasnt sure my methods would work for her. It occurred to me a few days later that I hadn't had a reply, and when I looked, she had deleted me without even replying to my message. Now, whilst I did think that this was a tad rude, it never occurred to me to send another message or question why she had deleted me. I figured that my methods obviously didn't appeal to her, or my diary, or whatever. At the end of the day it's everyones choice who they have on their lists, and everyone has to do whatever works for them.
  • Krissi72
    Krissi72 Posts: 44 Member
    Options
    Amen!
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
    Options
    The easiest way to deal with people is to ignore them. If you aren't giving them the reaction they are looking for, then they aren't succeeding at agitating you. Don't feed the trolls!!
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
    Options
    This just reminded me of a situation that happened the other week. I got a friend req from a fairly new person with a similar starting weight to my own, and a message with it asking what I had done to lose my weight. I accepted the request, sent a fairly long reply saying what I do, but also mentioning that as our domestic situations were quite different that I wasnt sure my methods would work for her. It occurred to me a few days later that I hadn't had a reply, and when I looked, she had deleted me without even replying to my message. Now, whilst I did think that this was a tad rude, it never occurred to me to send another message or question why she had deleted me. I figured that my methods obviously didn't appeal to her, or my diary, or whatever. At the end of the day it's everyones choice who they have on their lists, and everyone has to do whatever works for them.


    something similar happened to me. Someone sent me a FR with a note saying "we have a lot of goals in common (or something to that affect, though I have no idea how that would be known, since my page is now private, but ok...). So, I accepted the request and went to say hi and said "so, we have goals in common? You compete, too? Nice to meet you." Before I could click back to my wall, I was deleted. Oh well, moving on....
  • ImSoPerfectlyFlawed
    ImSoPerfectlyFlawed Posts: 127 Member
    Options
    So true, it shouldn't be that serious. If you get deleted, get over it, if you need a reason why, ask and keep it moving.
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    Options
    Hey, I know a great way to address the situation in a mature way and extinguish the fire at the same time, a public post!
  • mummum2
    mummum2 Posts: 415 Member
    Options
    I signed up for MFP for myself...when I first joined I didn't even know you could have "friends" on here! I have a few now, but when it comes down to it I am still here for ME. If I make friends along the way great, if not I have lots of them in real life.

    ^^^This for me also^^^
  • CrazyDaisysMommy
    CrazyDaisysMommy Posts: 472
    Options
    Nobody likes rejection. They felt hurt by getting deleted. MFP should have an option to disable the status updates of selected people from appearing in your news feed like Facebook. So they are just ignored.

    On your page, if you put your cursor in the upper right hand corner of someone's post the word "Hide" appears. I used that to hide one guy who liked to talk about banging his wife.
  • Beautybeyondmyskin
    Beautybeyondmyskin Posts: 27 Member
    Options
    You honeslty believe I am worried about someone deleting me, when I got 450lbs on my back? This is the Internetz, worry about something real. For example accomplishing your fitness goals for 2012.

    WELL SAID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! plain and simple be about you and handle your weight lost journey!!!
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
    Options
    one time I had a TON of excess friends whom I didn't have time to catch up with as I like to do and so I deleted the ones there was no interaction with and shortly after one of the ones who were deleted (due to NO interaction ever, even after I went to say hi after she requested me) she fires off his ABSURD post about what an egotistical, self-centered, arrogant, celebrity wanna be I was who thought entirely way too highly of myself and I needed to get over myself, because I'm a good for nothing nobody and never will be. Not at all immature or lame.
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
    Options
    Nobody likes rejection. They felt hurt by getting deleted. MFP should have an option to disable the status updates of selected people from appearing in your news feed like Facebook. So they are just ignored.

    On your page, if you put your cursor in the upper right hand corner of someone's post the word "Hide" appears. I used that to hide one guy who liked to talk about banging his wife.

    at least it was his wife and not someone else's... why not just delete, instead of hiding?
  • CorinthiaB
    CorinthiaB Posts: 488 Member
    Options
    Hmm. May be they were upset because they felt used. Once you reached your goal or changed your goal, they were no longer needed. I personally don't think that is what support is all about. If we are pal and support each other, it should happen both ways. Unless, I do something foul to you or I am not being supportive by all means delete me. However, deleting me because I am not where you are on the journey is not friendly in my opinion. I am so glad that I have the mindset of "oh well!" If I was your friend and you deleted me, I would have been like "oh well" and moved on. I have connected with some great people here but, my success or motivation is not determined by a few comments here or there. My take is more power to you.
  • SexyCook
    SexyCook Posts: 2,253 Member
    Options
    Definitely a handful you said there MEL!!! I am one that experience this....I get alot of Lash outs, Hate emails, HATERS, among deletions....I have learned from You along with others here that with doing the right things,..comes people that want to see you fail...I WILL NOT....I am here for ME and I enjoy helping others and when there is foolishness I HAVE a choice to Delete People or be deleted if they don't connect with me...END of story!!! I have gained friends and that's A plus but at the end of the day...It's Stephanie Journey!! Those don't like it Keep Hating from a far!!
  • LilBee82
    LilBee82 Posts: 189 Member
    Options
    I've deleted people because they never interact with me. I have numerous of times supported them, say hi etc and never not once have they return the favor. Then I go and delete them. I pretty sure I've been deleted as well by others, which my very first MFP friend deleted me, but that's ok I can't get mad at that. She needs to do what's best for her :) I like to interact with my friends regarding health related topics and just everyday life topics. As long as the support continues I love to read about how people's day went etc. Everyone should be mature about things :)

    You look SO much like my bestfriend that I grew up with! Awww I miss her now. =(

    I joined sometime in January this year and I had no idea there was a forum and that you could add friends either. I have accepted every friend request I get and added a few people that I feel i have things in common with. so far all of my MFP friends have been so great and supportive. I also love reading their successes and daily lives and I find them all inspiring.

    If I ever get deleted, it might hurt a bit, but i would never go out of my way to make someone feel miserable.
  • pinuplove
    pinuplove Posts: 12,874 Member
    Options
    People really get cranky when you delete them? Wow, kudos to my friends for being drama-free, I guess! I might notice if my number of friends dropped, but I probably wouldn't go out of my way to find out who. I figure if someone deletes me they have their reasons, no big deal. I'm not a heavy hitter at the gym or a big cheerleader, but I try to give kudos for a job well done and comment on a status that strikes me.

    I've seen people get bashed on walls' over being deleted. In my experience, a lot of people like to throw rocks while they live in their glass house.

    *shrug* This whole thread has me shaking my head. The friend exclusivity thing baffles me, but hey, whatever works for you. I cam understand not wanting thousands of friends. Maybe I just haven't been around ling enough. I have friends who are in peak or close physical condition, while I was until recently a total couch potato. Seeing what they do encourages me to try harder and do more. Hopefully they don't feel like I drag them down somehow by not being as active.

    I friend people who interest me, and I have yet to turn down a friend request (though of course I will if I ever get the 'creep' vibe). But I also wouldn't take being deleted as an affront to my personality. It's a highly facte website with thousands of users, FFS! They're not ALL going to like me :tongue:
  • pinuplove
    pinuplove Posts: 12,874 Member
    Options
    Hey, I know a great way to address the situation in a mature way and extinguish the fire at the same time, a public post!

    :laugh: You mean hashing it out in public isn't going to make it alllll better??
  • MacMadame
    MacMadame Posts: 1,893 Member
    Options
    I accept all requests and then never read my news feed (or post much to it either). I've got some MFP groups I belong to that I get (and give) support from so the news feed isn't a major source of support for me. For one thing, MFP posts too much inane stuff automatically to make it really worth while.

    Plus, if I read my news feed, I have to restrain myself constantly from posting things like "Um, no, you did not burn 1000 calories walking your dog for 30 minutes, you just didn't." :laugh:
  • IMYarnCraz33
    IMYarnCraz33 Posts: 1,016 Member
    Options
    To OP:
    You Rock!!! You don't need the drama. Sorry you've had to put up with a bunch of flack.

    It's a shame ppl have to act that way over little things.
    I delete ppl if they haven't been on in awhile (a month or longer).
    I once deleted a person that had been gone awhile. They returned to MFP & messaged me
    to let me know they were back and asked me to re-add them. It was a cool message. :smile:
  • CrazyDaisysMommy
    CrazyDaisysMommy Posts: 472
    Options
    [[/quote]

    at least it was his wife and not someone else's... why not just delete, instead of hiding?
    [/quote]

    True. I'd probably delete for unabashed adultery. I didn't delete because he said for the beginning that he was a colorful guy. I just didn't realize how colorful. :blushing: I don't care if someone deletes me, but I generally don't delete others. I just remove them from my feed if I'm not interested in what they're saying.

Categories