Dr. Phil - Open Marriage

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  • EmCarroll1990
    EmCarroll1990 Posts: 2,849 Member
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    I think something's broken inside you if you can't commit completely to one person and have that be enough. Either you're with the wrong person or you have insecurities that you have to fill with promiscuity and outside attention.


    Well said!

    And back to 3 hours ago, I think something must be broken in y'all if you are so quick to pass judgement on something you don't understand. Sure, it may not be for you and that's totally cool, but insulting what others like is not cool.
  • seattlerain
    seattlerain Posts: 189 Member
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    Open relationships dont work. Period.

    An open relationship didn't work for YOU. Period.
  • fbmandy55
    fbmandy55 Posts: 5,263 Member
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    Definitely not for me!! Ick!!

    :grumble:

    I could have done without the last word... nice.
  • hdroddy
    hdroddy Posts: 122
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    If we really want to talk about the Bible, lets talk about lying. There's not a one among us who has never done this. Even if all you've ever done is tell someone their baby was cute when it wasn't, or that dress looked good when it didn't. They are told to spare feelings, but still, they are lies.

    So we've all sinned to one degree or another. Which means that not a one of us qualifies to judge anyone else on the "let he who is without sin cast the first stone" prerequisite.

    "For all have sinned & fall short of the glory of God" - That is why their is a little thing called Repenting!
    We can judge in righteous judgement - judge on sin & rebuke.
    "let he who is without sin cast the first stone" - that applies to people who judge unrighteously.

    I'm sorry, but I disagree. Of course you can repent. But you're still not perfect. And, let's face it, the next time your girlfriend asks you if these pants make her butt look big, you're gonna lie again. Cuz no one is gonna tell their friend, you betcha, it looks like two pounds of sh-- in a one pound bag. You're gonna sin again. None of us is entirely righteous. But a lot of us, it is apparent, are self-righteous. And isn't hubris a sin, too, according to the bible?

    It's wrong of them to jump all on your case and call you a racist just because you disagree with them. But it is also wrong of you to believe that you have any right to judge anyone else for the decisions they make. None of us does, not if they aren't hurting anyone.
  • Anomalia
    Anomalia Posts: 506 Member
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    We all make our way through life as best we can. If everyone is on board, I fail to see the problem.
    What's right for some may not be for others, but that doesn't make it wrong.

    Agreed.

    Personally, I could not do this. If someone else wants to do this and it makes them happy then rock on.
  • Wileyjoe
    Wileyjoe Posts: 282
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    my horse is dead....

    what to do....?
  • ThatGirlGlow
    ThatGirlGlow Posts: 68 Member
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    No thank you. I don't care what others do, but this would NEVER work for me. Forget the part about sleeping with someone other than your spouse. What about thinking of yourself. Too many diseases out there, with no cures. I work too hard in my commited relationship, and I feel like intimacy is an added benefit to a realtionship. No one else is going to enjoy the extra, when I am the one doing the cooking, cleaning, and birthing of his children........side note no condoms just gross.
  • Fairysoul
    Fairysoul Posts: 1,361 Member
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    No, No, and NO, thats what I think.
  • TigersFanHoosierMama
    TigersFanHoosierMama Posts: 44
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    Another .02 --- agreeing that each to their own and skipping over the ugly replies -- I sat here and thought about this for a minute and honest to goodness I could NEVER EVER EVER imagine wanting anyone other then my husband. Never. He is more then enough for me, we never get bored or curious - we keep things exciting and I feel that as his wife it's part of my role in the relationship to make our sex awesome (and no matter my size or what else goes on in our marriage I assure you that he's got no complaints there). I just couldn't even imagine being with another man. We've been together 16 years and I've never even had the slightest temptation.

    Also for US if hubby even considered bringing it up he'd probably know to pack a suitcase at the same time.

    I don't judge - I mean really what you do in your own bedroom I could care less about. I don't think it's a great thing for marriage - but that's just my .02.

    My biggest hobby is minding my own business :D
  • hdroddy
    hdroddy Posts: 122
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    my horse is dead....

    what to do....?

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • paigemarie93
    paigemarie93 Posts: 778 Member
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    If we really want to talk about the Bible, lets talk about lying. There's not a one among us who has never done this. Even if all you've ever done is tell someone their baby was cute when it wasn't, or that dress looked good when it didn't. They are told to spare feelings, but still, they are lies.

    So we've all sinned to one degree or another. Which means that not a one of us qualifies to judge anyone else on the "let he who is without sin cast the first stone" prerequisite.

    "For all have sinned & fall short of the glory of God" - That is why their is a little thing called Repenting!
    We can judge in righteous judgement - judge on sin & rebuke.
    "let he who is without sin cast the first stone" - that applies to people who judge unrighteously.

    I'm sorry, but I disagree. Of course you can repent. But you're still not perfect. And, let's face it, the next time your girlfriend asks you if these pants make her butt look big, you're gonna lie again. Cuz no one is gonna tell their friend, you betcha, it looks like two pounds of sh-- in a one pound bag. You're gonna sin again. None of us is entirely righteous. But a lot of us, it is apparent, are self-righteous. And isn't hubris a sin, too, according to the bible?

    It's wrong of them to jump all on your case and call you a racist just because you disagree with them. But it is also wrong of you to believe that you have any right to judge anyone else for the decisions they make. None of us does, not if they aren't hurting anyone.
    Of course no one's perfect, I never said that!!!!!!!!
    I wasn't judging, I said let them do what they want with their own marriage, I personally would not do that because I believe you shouldn't bring anyone else into your marriage.
    I very rarely judge people, I judge the actions, I did not once say I thought the people were disgusting or anything like that, I just said that I wouldn't do it because I don't agree with it.
    "love thy neighbour as thy self" means to love people irregardless of their actions, even if you're against them (love thy neighbour permits rebuking).
  • kbw414
    kbw414 Posts: 194
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    I think something's broken inside you if you can't commit completely to one person and have that be enough. Either you're with the wrong person or you have insecurities that you have to fill with promiscuity and outside attention.


    Well said!

    And back to 3 hours ago, I think something must be broken in y'all if you are so quick to pass judgement on something you don't understand. Sure, it may not be for you and that's totally cool, but insulting what others like is not cool.

    Well, you sort of have to be a very, very liberally minded in order to hold your viewpoint. And what YOU need to remember is not everyone is so liberal. Where's YOUR open-mindedness and respect for those who are more conservative and/or traditional?
  • Avalonis
    Avalonis Posts: 1,540 Member
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    Well, you sort of have to be a very, very liberally minded in order to hold your viewpoint. And what YOU need to remember is not everyone is so liberal. Where's YOUR open-mindedness and respect for those who are more conservative and/or traditional?

    Thats the most ridiculous argument I've ever heard. Allow me to paraphrase.

    "You not liking that I am intolerant and can't accept people that don't think the way I think means that YOU are intolerant as well."


    No... no it doesn't. It means that she wants the freedom to believe what she likes without having something else forced upon her.
  • Fairysoul
    Fairysoul Posts: 1,361 Member
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    I personally belive that sex between two people is a very private and intimate thing, not just a f*** for fun thing... Just my opinion...
  • TentacleTango
    TentacleTango Posts: 8
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    Why get married in the first place.. O_o

    Either way, I couldn't do it at all.
  • Cold_Steel
    Cold_Steel Posts: 897 Member
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    Basing morality on a book (The Holy Bible) that is extremely controversial in its authenticity. A book written by man, supposedly the direct word of god, even though written at different stages and periods with having different authors over periods of time is the problem here.

    There is recent evidence (Dead Sea Scrolls and several adaptations of the different Canonical Counsels [where they decide what books will be in the bible]) that certain books were authored by different people through linguistic characteristics and historical evidence in my opinion voids the bible as a means for basing much other than the existence of a God and religion.

    The fact is the old testament was written during a time when the "Chosen People" where in great flux with their neighbors and it was more or less a rallying cry of a hateful tyrannical God. The new testament was simply a way to sell the new religion to people. I am not denying the existence of any of the mythical christian stories but the validity of the bible and the direct from the mouth of God concept is very questionable in a society that places so much "DIRECT WORD OF GOD REFERENCE" on the bible.

    To say I base my moral teachings on principles that have been around for thousands of years is a fallacy. Especially since the validity of the book is in question with in regards to whom it was written, edited and canonicalized by.
  • Cold_Steel
    Cold_Steel Posts: 897 Member
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    Basing morality on a book (The Holy Bible) that is extremely controversial in its authenticity. A book written by man, supposedly the direct word of god, even though written at different stages and periods with having different authors over periods of time is the problem here.

    There is recent evidence (Dead Sea Scrolls and several adaptations of the different Canonical Counsels [where they decide what books will be in the bible]) that certain books were authored by different people through linguistic characteristics and historical evidence in my opinion voids the bible as a means for basing much other than the existence of a God and religion.

    The fact is the old testament was written during a time when the "Chosen People" where in great flux with their neighbors and it was more or less a rallying cry of a hateful tyrannical God. The new testament was simply a way to sell the new religion to people. I am not denying the existence of any of the mythical christian stories but the validity of the bible and the direct from the mouth of God concept is very questionable in a society that places so much "DIRECT WORD OF GOD REFERENCE" on the bible.

    To say I base my moral teachings on principles that have been around for thousands of years is a fallacy. Especially since the validity of the book is in question with in regards to whom it was written, edited and canonicalized by.

    I kind of missed my own point on this one... But to say open or homosexual marriages are wrong because the bible says so when open and homosexual relationships were abundant pre christian era is a problem. To say it is wrong because it has not existed in thousands of years is very ignorant, pre-christianity open and homosexuals were not deemed as morally wrong.
  • nanodot
    nanodot Posts: 154 Member
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    Gentlepeople, the question "Why get married in the first place?" has been answered about ten times in this thread.

    To paraphrase: for almost exactly the same reasons that monogamous people do.
  • MikeSEA
    MikeSEA Posts: 1,074 Member
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    To each their own. It doesn't affect me, unless of course I get an invitation.
  • kylesmommy89
    kylesmommy89 Posts: 356 Member
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    Definitely not for me!! Ick!!

    :grumble:

    I could have done without the last word... nice.

    ?? You are offended by me saying the thought of my husband with another woman is icky? Lmao at someone getting offended at the word ick!!

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