Dr. Phil - Open Marriage

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  • sleepytexan
    sleepytexan Posts: 3,138 Member
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    This kind of thing has been in style before: Sodom and Gomorrah.
  • MikeSEA
    MikeSEA Posts: 1,074 Member
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    This kind of thing has been in style before: Sodom and Gomorrah.

    You realize the sin of Sodom and Gomorrah was, in essence, being inhospitable. This sounds like quite the opposite :)
  • Marie92281
    Marie92281 Posts: 194 Member
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    this is just my opinion and you may not like it but I will put it out there!!

    Maraige was designed to be between 1 man and 1 woman. If you are married and you are sleeping with someone else you are comitting adultry and thats wrong!!!! It makes me sick how little people value marriage these days! Where are kids involved in this what example are you showing your kids they may not know whats going on now but they will when they get older.

    This is a fairly narrowly delineated definition of marriage, one based on a specific version of a Judeo-Christian world view. It's not a (traditionally) Mormon version; nor is it how marriage is defined in multiple regions of the world or in various historical periods.
    Nigeria has a tradition of plural wives, for instance. Chinua Achebe and Miriama Ba have written eloquently on this topic, as have many Chinese authors (from prior periods in history).


    as I said these are my opinions and what I read in the Bible the Word of God! I am not judging anyone just stating a fact. I try to live my life according to what scripure says and it says that is wrong that does not mean that Im narrow minded it means that I have a belief system that I follow and try to live my life by! I feel confident that when Christ returns that I will be with him, that is what I try to do and the beliefs that I instil in my children. Even if both parties agree to have an open marriage according to my beliefs its wrong. I agree about Child protective services they probably would not remove the child if the parents are not unfit!

    The world is a big, varied and amazing place, and human beings have adapted to their surroundings in a variety of ways, including both plural marriage (polyandry and polygamy) and monogamy.

    Additionally, that biblical handmaid's tale and the "judge not" part both seem pretty clear that 1) there are acceptable alternatives and 2), to sing a little, "taint nobody's business if I do".
  • Marie92281
    Marie92281 Posts: 194 Member
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    this is just my opinion and you may not like it but I will put it out there!!

    Maraige was designed to be between 1 man and 1 woman. If you are married and you are sleeping with someone else you are comitting adultry and thats wrong!!!! It makes me sick how little people value marriage these days! Where are kids involved in this what example are you showing your kids they may not know whats going on now but they will when they get older.

    This is a fairly narrowly delineated definition of marriage, one based on a specific version of a Judeo-Christian world view. It's not a (traditionally) Mormon version; nor is it how marriage is defined in multiple regions of the world or in various historical periods.
    Nigeria has a tradition of plural wives, for instance. Chinua Achebe and Miriama Ba have written eloquently on this topic, as have many Chinese authors (from prior periods in history).


    as I said these are my opinions and what I read in the Bible the Word of God! I am not judging anyone just stating a fact. I try to live my life according to what scripure says and it says that is wrong that does not mean that Im narrow minded it means that I have a belief system that I follow and try to live my life by! I feel confident that when Christ returns that I will be with him, that is what I try to do and the beliefs that I instil in my children. Even if both parties agree to have an open marriage according to my beliefs its wrong. I agree about Child protective services they probably would not remove the child if the parents are not unfit!

    The world is a big, varied and amazing place, and human beings have adapted to their surroundings in a variety of ways, including both plural marriage (polyandry and polygamy) and monogamy.

    Additionally, that biblical handmaid's tale and the "judge not" part both seem pretty clear that 1) there are acceptable alternatives and 2), to sing a little, "taint nobody's business if I do".
  • Marie92281
    Marie92281 Posts: 194 Member
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    I messed up my quote got put in the wrong place sorry
  • JenMarie8781
    JenMarie8781 Posts: 377 Member
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    I think it's crazy and I am sooo jealous... I could never do that. But whatever.... I guess if they are happy, who cares? The only thing I had a problem with was when the mom said she watched porn with her daughter to show her what sex was! W...t....f? Isn't that illegal?!
  • Marie92281
    Marie92281 Posts: 194 Member
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    This kind of thing has been in style before: Sodom and Gomorrah.


    And what happened to them.
  • kinkyslinky16
    kinkyslinky16 Posts: 1,469 Member
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    Ahhh, can ya smell the predisposed religious notions of morality?

    Smells like... prude.

    LOL hilarious!
  • Wileyjoe
    Wileyjoe Posts: 282
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    to trash, or be trash - that is the question....

    :flup:
  • suchick
    suchick Posts: 13 Member
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    Honest question: WHY THE *kitten* DOES IT MATTER?!

    If these people are happy being in an open marriage, why does it matter what anybody else thinks? That is their decision, not anybody else's. Just like with gay marriage, it's not hurting anybody at all, so why does anybody really care? I see a lot of people saying that it's "wrong" or whatever other word you want to put in place of that, and while it might be wrong to you, not everybody thinks exactly the same, nor should they have to. Your religion dictates that it's wrong for you to be married to multiple people/somebody of the same gender, then don't do it. Not everybody believes the same things as you do, and you need to learn that because in the real world, nobody gives a **** about your opinion when it comes to this.

    +1

    For what it's worth, I think "why the *kitten* it matters" to people is for any or all of the following reasons:

    1. Lurid curiosity
    2. To feel morally superior
    3. To assign blame & judgement

    Y'know, the Europeans have a really funny perspective on people's private lives. They believe they should be private.
    Go figure. Crazy huh ?
    :P
  • dragonsheart84
    dragonsheart84 Posts: 75
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    Child services could investigate because it could potentially harm the children's mental well being as it was put to me by a worker when I had a boyfriend after I split with my ex. To each their own. How do you think the men with multiple wives do it. It is all about compromise according to my friends that have co-wives. I would NOT do it. I would possibly divorce my husband if he even asked about doing it. Been through cheating with my ex. Not going to do it again.
  • rockerbabyy
    rockerbabyy Posts: 2,258 Member
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    Child services could investigate because it could potentially harm the children's mental well being as it was put to me by a worker when I had a boyfriend after I split with my ex. To each their own. How do you think the men with multiple wives do it. It is all about compromise according to my friends that have co-wives. I would NOT do it. I would possibly divorce my husband if he even asked about doing it. Been through cheating with my ex. Not going to do it again.
    a) my kids dont need to know about my sex life, so at this point theres no reason for them to know anything other than mommy and daddy have friends. b) the state doesnt get to tell me how to live my life as long as my children are provided for and taken care of.
    also, theres a HUGE difference between having and open marriage and cheating..i would never EVER cheat on my husband, nor he on me.
  • Wileyjoe
    Wileyjoe Posts: 282
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    why do people get so upset that people have an opinion on a subject?

    - welcome to the internet

    :flup:
  • jennylsapia
    jennylsapia Posts: 236 Member
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    I think it's crazy and I am sooo jealous... I could never do that. But whatever.... I guess if they are happy, who cares? The only thing I had a problem with was when the mom said she watched porn with her daughter to show her what sex was! W...t....f? Isn't that illegal?!

    Umm yea I would tihnk so!! Thats freaking crazy!! But as far as open relationships...I say go for it!!! I could NEVER do it because I have so much self esteem issues that I hate when my fiance even talks to a girl he was friends with long ago that I don't know! Yea i know I need to deal with my mental issues!
  • JenMarie8781
    JenMarie8781 Posts: 377 Member
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    I think it's crazy and I am sooo jealous... I could never do that. But whatever.... I guess if they are happy, who cares? The only thing I had a problem with was when the mom said she watched porn with her daughter to show her what sex was! W...t....f? Isn't that illegal?!

    Umm yea I would tihnk so!! Thats freaking crazy!! But as far as open relationships...I say go for it!!! I could NEVER do it because I have so much self esteem issues that I hate when my fiance even talks to a girl he was friends with long ago that I don't know! Yea i know I need to deal with my mental issues!

    LoL. Don't feel bad.... I'm the same way.
  • PaleoPath4Lyfe
    PaleoPath4Lyfe Posts: 3,161 Member
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    You guys are making this one of my favorite threads: ......paigemarie93-
    EmCarroll1990-
    NatureMade-
    Avalonis-
    nanodot
    ..... and I want to thank you right here, right now.

    :heart:
  • Yakisoba
    Yakisoba Posts: 719 Member
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    Honest question: WHY THE *kitten* DOES IT MATTER?!

    If these people are happy being in an open marriage, why does it matter what anybody else thinks? That is their decision, not anybody else's. Just like with gay marriage, it's not hurting anybody at all, so why does anybody really care? I see a lot of people saying that it's "wrong" or whatever other word you want to put in place of that, and while it might be wrong to you, not everybody thinks exactly the same, nor should they have to. Your religion dictates that it's wrong for you to be married to multiple people/somebody of the same gender, then don't do it. Not everybody believes the same things as you do, and you need to learn that because in the real world, nobody gives a **** about your opinion when it comes to this.

    Here we go. :D Common sense.
  • cppeace
    cppeace Posts: 764 Member
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    child services should be called! Come on give me a break! Talk to kids... They are raised to believe as you believe- conform to their parents beliefs. I dont care if you tell em to believe in zebra alien gods or teach em bout sex(which you should unashamedly do. Its normal conversation for goodness sake.)
    if you have awesome sex with your husband and get loud does that damage the wellbeing of the child? If you teach a child that their body is beautiful, that sex can be for love or strictly for pleasure( depending on their personal feelings on the matter. Yeah kids have feelings and opinions gasp!) teach em to be confident and open minded, to listen to their heart and mind then you grow up great people. Not sheep mixed with ostriches- all follow the shephers and hide your eyes when you dont wanna see!
    Just live and let live
  • Yakisoba
    Yakisoba Posts: 719 Member
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    ^ Do you mean should or shouldn't? >_>
  • saragato
    saragato Posts: 1,154
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    I'm fairly certain if there was an open marriage going on with children in the home, child services would be called.

    Why? It's like saying you'd call child services just because you know that any marriage involves *any* bedroom activity with children in the home.
    i was going to ask the same thing.

    Depending on how the parents carry out their open behavior, it could be seen as child endangerment. It can also depend on if these others are around the children and if they hurt them in any way. If the case merely is mommy and daddy go out and they come back, regardless of whether the kid knows they haven't been with the other parent, then it's not really a problem because there's nothing potentially harmful for the child to be exposed to, factually. Opinion wise some might argue it's wrong to teach them they can run around, but that's all subjective.

    The reason I said initially child services would be involved is because you never know the elements of the open marriage and what effects it may or may not have on any children. Namely such cases would be ruled as an unstable household, again pending what is actually being done, and the children would be at risk of being removed from the home.

    @cppeace: Do you have a license for that soapbox or is it a rental? Assuming that little tiff was aimed at me, look at my wording. "Would", not "should".

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