what is the ideal age to get engaged/married?

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Replies

  • gordonfitch
    gordonfitch Posts: 22 Member
    Oddly enough, I think that statistically if a couple gets married when they are both quite young (18-21), they have a lower divorce rate than other demographics.

    I don't believe it, I would like to read the study.
  • warmachinejt
    warmachinejt Posts: 2,162 Member
    i'll think about it when im 320
  • oddyogi
    oddyogi Posts: 1,816 Member
    When they land a sweet job and you don't have to sign any prenups..
  • Tanyawhite30
    Tanyawhite30 Posts: 473
    i'll think about it when im 320



    Good choice
  • OSC_ESD
    OSC_ESD Posts: 752 Member
    I don't think most people really get comfortable in their own skin until their mid 30's ... it's really important to know who you are before committing to a lifetime with somebody else. You can get engaged and or spend time with somebody for many years without getting married. It just seems people take the " vow " so lightly these days causing the divorce rate to sky rocket !

    Never go into a relationship thinking you can " change " somebody ... and nor should you want to ! Accepting someone for all their quirks and still loving everything about them is soooo important ! We often overlook the small details ... never realizing one day they become the BIG picture !

    I don't think you can or anybody else can put a " number " on it ... but what I can offer you is just one small piece of advice ...

    Never ... ever ... SETTLE ! :smile:
  • jetscreaminagain
    jetscreaminagain Posts: 1,130 Member
    i would trust my pre-25 self with a remote control much less a husband.

    i got married at 29. and now i'm getting divorced at 40. so yeah, don't listen to me.

    Got married in my early 20s...getting divorced at 27...so yeah, dont listen to me either.


    You seeing a trend in why 'never' has a good ring to it? no pun intended..

    Lines up with my experience. Married at 23. Divorced by 30. It sucks. Knowing more about brain development now than I did then, I am telling my kids that they should not get married before 25. In point of fact not all of your pre-frontal cortex is completely developed before 25 which is why so many people over 30 look back at 25 and regret dumb things they did. Even the ones that thought the were SOOOO smart and SOOOO mature (that would include me).

    Think about it, if car rental agencies know you're too young not to be dumb and won't rent you a car for a week, why on earth would you count on yourself to be smart enough for something as important and permanent as wedding your life partner. And besides, if he's your life partner (the generalized you, not you OP), then he'll still be there when you're over 25 right? Right.
  • oddyogi
    oddyogi Posts: 1,816 Member
    Hello, I got married young but I wouldnt trade it for anything.. it honestly depends on the person & when they find the one.. I got engaged at 18 and got married at 20.

    but you are still 20. so yeah. um. i'd hope you'd still be happy.

    :laugh: :laugh:
  • ifucsam
    ifucsam Posts: 40
    Oddly enough, I think that statistically if a couple gets married when they are both quite young (18-21), they have a lower divorce rate than other demographics.

    That being said, there is no ideal age. It is when you are ready.

    I got married at 19 (husband was 25) and 5 years later we're still happily married! No kids for a while though, just our pups and our cat! We just bought a house last year!

    I honestly had never thought about it before we started dating though. A lot of people I graduated with (I'm 22 so people 22/23/24) are getting married and engaged now.
  • SirZee
    SirZee Posts: 381
    Its not the age, its the person. Be very very very very very very very very choosy, because things that are small now, will magnify and become huge pains in the rear end.

    And yeah, 15 years of living together as of today, and perhaps on track to not even last another 15 days..... so listen to me at your own peril, I'm starting to think the "Never" people got it closest to right.
  • SalishSea
    SalishSea Posts: 373 Member
    I would say get engaged after 30 then get married then have kids.

    I do not see why people would want to get married in their 20's. That is the time for dating, exploring the world, going to college, having fun with friends. And generally being a young adult without older adult responsibilities.

    We have told our daughter since the day she was born....you will not get married or have kids until after 30. People love to tell me you can't control your child's life once they are grown. True. But I can cement in her mind on a daily basis what a enjoyable, successful, life takes. Do not get married and especially do not have kids before 30.

    I see people get married at 22 and feel sad for them Yuck! But to each their own. By the way. I am 42 and love being married and having our sweet 9 year old daughter! I didn't get married until after 30 and am so thankful for my decision.
  • lukeout007
    lukeout007 Posts: 1,237 Member
    Got married at 23. I don't think it matters what age you are. I do think it matters how well you know the person and how long you've had to work out issues. My wife and I had some issues while dating that followed us into marriage. We stuck through it and worked it out and are now happily married. Going on 4 years.
  • kb455
    kb455 Posts: 679 Member
    I'd say VERY late 20s/early 30's at the earliest. No sooner. Most people just have too much growing up to do before that, IMO.
  • peachNpunkin
    peachNpunkin Posts: 1,010 Member
    Follow your heart. You'll know when you are ready.
  • JediMaster_intraining
    JediMaster_intraining Posts: 903 Member
    for me it would be after i am done with grad school. i want a decent job and be able to get that wild/selfish side of me out first. so that would be around 26 for me.


    but sometimes plans don't always work out so i shall see when i'm that age how i feel. i say take as long as you want but if you want kids i guess it's a little different since individually we all have our own "biological clock".

    i wouldn't rush. :flowerforyou: but i'm sure it does take TONS commitment and sacrifice.
  • JThomas61
    JThomas61 Posts: 892
    NEVER!




    Lol, sorry.. I'm young and I've been divorced twice... :ohwell: :bigsmile:


    LOL never say NEVER~!
  • firedudecndn
    firedudecndn Posts: 25
    About 3 weeks after you die
  • karenwill2
    karenwill2 Posts: 604 Member
    there is no ideal age. You have to find the right person which takes a lot of luck. I have been married, happily, for 7 years. I got married at 28 to my 19 yr old boyfriend for insurance purposes only. (we already had a baby) We still consider ourselves unmarried and don't wear rings. We prefer to think that we are still living in the glorious life of sin. I hyphenate my last name and etc. Will it last..? It is likely, as we have been planning our divorce every since we met. Then we plan to date finally. LOL
  • JThomas61
    JThomas61 Posts: 892
    I don't think most people really get comfortable in their own skin until their mid 30's ... it's really important to know who you are before committing to a lifetime with somebody else. You can get engaged and or spend time with somebody for many years without getting married. It just seems people take the " vow " so lightly these days causing the divorce rate to sky rocket !

    Never go into a relationship thinking you can " change " somebody ... and nor should you want to ! Accepting someone for all their quirks and still loving everything about them is soooo important ! We often overlook the small details ... never realizing one day they become the BIG picture !

    I don't think you can or anybody else can put a " number " on it ... but what I can offer you is just one small piece of advice ...

    Never ... ever ... SETTLE ! :smile:


    Great advice
  • realme56
    realme56 Posts: 1,093 Member
    Marriage is fine institution that takes a lot of commitment. So get married when you are ready to be committed to an institution.

    LOVE IT!!!!
  • Ely82010
    Ely82010 Posts: 1,998 Member
    Married at 22, and still married (and happy!!!) 46 years later.....:happy:
  • taso42
    taso42 Posts: 8,980 Member
    how long is a string?
  • jzaz903
    jzaz903 Posts: 306 Member
    depends on the person. clearly some people are ready for the commitment and responsibility at 20, and some are never fully ready for it.

    my parents got married at 21 and 23, and are still married 26 years later. my parents-in-law were married at 38 and 36, and got divorced 14 years later. there's no right or wrong answer.
  • mckshowie
    mckshowie Posts: 210 Member
    28. 28 and a 1/4 on September 7, 2011, to be exact :)
  • muffintopminx
    muffintopminx Posts: 541 Member
    I met my soul mate, love of my life, :love: at the tender age of 18. But we took our time and just had fun. Finally got married at 28.

    It doesn't matter HOW old you are, just don't RUSH. There's plenty of time - trust.
    My mom got divorced at 45 and now has a boyfriend at 66.
  • carlie_carl
    carlie_carl Posts: 285
    theres still hope for me yet! lol . . . . . I just know I wont marry in my 20s, maybe 30s hopefully 40s if not by then atleast I will have my house of pets to keep me company lol
  • La_Amazona
    La_Amazona Posts: 4,855 Member
    Definately after 30!!

    20's is all about growing and finding yourself.
  • MyFeistyEvolution
    MyFeistyEvolution Posts: 1,014 Member
    There is no ideal age. It all depends on the people involved.
  • oddyogi
    oddyogi Posts: 1,816 Member
    NEVER!




    Lol, sorry.. I'm young and I've been divorced twice... :ohwell: :bigsmile:


    LOL never say NEVER~!

    Okay... never AGAIN! :tongue:

    Oh.. and I'm never having kids.
  • rachaelrstewart
    rachaelrstewart Posts: 2 Member
    I agree with never.
  • iluxoxo211
    iluxoxo211 Posts: 241 Member
    Hello, I got married young but I wouldnt trade it for anything.. it honestly depends on the person & when they find the one.. I got engaged at 18 and got married at 20.

    but you are still 20. so yeah. um. i'd hope you'd still be happy.

    :laugh: :laugh:

    I have been with my husband for 6 years..I will be 21 in a month.. I am very happy.. you say you have been divorced how many times? I would say you need to look into youself before you start pointing fingers and making judgments ;)
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