what is the ideal age to get engaged/married?

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  • LatinaButterfly
    LatinaButterfly Posts: 192 Member
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    I was married at 18, divorced at 26... Married again at 27 (different man), we're still married and it's been 12 years now... However, if I had to do it all over again I wouldn't get married until I turned 40... 36 if I wanted children! LOL :D
  • badgerbadger1
    badgerbadger1 Posts: 954 Member
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    Hello, I got married young but I wouldnt trade it for anything.. it honestly depends on the person & when they find the one.. I got engaged at 18 and got married at 20.

    but you are still 20. so yeah. um. i'd hope you'd still be happy.

    :laugh: :laugh:

    I have been with my husband for 6 years..I will be 21 in a month.. I am very happy.. you say you have been divorced how many times? I would say you need to look into youself before you start pointing fingers and making judgments ;)

    Creepy.
  • bjfmade
    bjfmade Posts: 543 Member
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    When the time is right, you will think you know. Once you take the plunge, make sure to work on your marriage. It isn't always roses and boxes of candy, but it does get easier. I have been married 26 years. I got married when I was 21 and my husband was 23. We enjoy doing things together, kids are out of the house and we just became grandparents. Doesn't get much better than that!
  • RunChinni
    RunChinni Posts: 149 Member
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    I've been with my husband for 4 years now. I am 25. He's 31. We got married when I was 22, dated for a year.

    You are going to find some people who are cynical based on their experience and some people who are over the moon based on their experiences.

    What you need to do is follow your heart and make sure you are getting married to the right person for the right reasons. Never ever settle for someone because they seem to be the best at the moment.

    When I got married, we'd both dated people. I dated my high school sweetheart for a good 4 years before we broke up. Went on dates with a few others. But when I met my husband back then, I knew instantly, that he was it for me. We have been through hardships, financial and therefore, emotional. Both of us were in grad school (he's about to finish, I graduated last fall), we were living on one income. But we knew from the start that it was going to be tough. We planned it out. And it worked. I know there are tougher times to come (with the kids and all), but we balance one another out :-)
  • chefabitino
    chefabitino Posts: 74
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    when you have a million in the bank and you love him or her without wanting to sign a prenupt!
  • cakeums
    cakeums Posts: 231 Member
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    I would say get engaged after 30 then get married then have kids.

    I do not see why people would want to get married in their 20's. That is the time for dating, exploring the world, going to college, having fun with friends. And generally being a young adult without older adult responsibilities.

    We have told our daughter since the day she was born....you will not get married or have kids until after 30. People love to tell me you can't control your child's life once they are grown. True. But I can cement in her mind on a daily basis what a enjoyable, successful, life takes. Do not get married and especially do not have kids before 30.

    I see people get married at 22 and feel sad for them Yuck! But to each their own. By the way. I am 42 and love being married and having our sweet 9 year old daughter! I didn't get married until after 30 and am so thankful for my decision.

    I got married at 22 and we are still here, still happy, 6 years (of marriage, 8 years total) and two kids later. We have gone through extremely difficult, trying times - things that most in-tact, functional couples don't go through in twice as many years of marriage. (No, that is not an exaggeration. We are talking major medical issues, financial issues, a deployment, and so on.) We have both grown and learned from our experiences. If we could have had the same children and waited another few years to enjoy just being married, then sure, I would consider going back and doing that part over. However, by the time I'm 42, my children will be (nearly) grown and we will have the rest of our lives to just enjoy being married.

    I would rather have more time with my husband - who is truly my best friend - than have waited another 10 years before meeting and marrying him. I don't feel sad for you not having had that time, so don't feel sad for me because I got married young.
  • jeccalou
    jeccalou Posts: 92 Member
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    Follow your heart. You'll know when you are ready.
    This!!
    Married at 19 and will be celebrating 15 years this year and hoping for a hundred more.
  • iluxoxo211
    iluxoxo211 Posts: 241 Member
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    I have been with my husband for 6 years..I will be 21 in a month.. I am very happy.. you say you have been divorced how many times? I would say you need to look into youself before you start pointing fingers and making judgments ;)

    You got married when you were 15? Weird.

    Wait a couple years until your loins start to ache.


    LOL I said in my last post I was 20 when I got married.. some people are very mature for their ages.. I have always been more mature. I met my mate very young and I am so happy I did..you are 24..and have been divorced not once but twice..? I got married young yes but just because you are young when you get married doesnt mean a single thing...everyone is different.
  • iluxoxo211
    iluxoxo211 Posts: 241 Member
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    Follow your heart. You'll know when you are ready.
    This!!
    Married at 19 and will be celebrating 15 years this year and hoping for a hundred more.


    love this :)
  • oddyogi
    oddyogi Posts: 1,816 Member
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    LOL I said in my last post I was 20 when I got married.. some people are very mature for their ages.. I have always been more mature. I met my mate very young and I am so happy I did..you are 24..and have been divorced not once but twice..? I got married young yes but just because you are young when you get married doesnt mean a single thing...everyone is different.

    Ooookiedokey.

    Good luck with your marriage, and I mean that sincerely, not sarcastically. It's just not for me.
  • Dtho5159
    Dtho5159 Posts: 1,054 Member
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    I started dating my husband when I was 18, engaged at 19, married at 20 and had our first baby 6 days before I turned 21. We have been married 8 years in June and added another baby to the mix and are doing just fine :love:
  • SuzyQq02
    SuzyQq02 Posts: 64 Member
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    I don't think there is one right answer for everyone. I got married at 23 (MH is 2 years older than me), and many people consider that to be pretty young, especially where we're from (MA, average age of first marriage is higher here than elsewhere). We really wanted to enjoy being married for awhile before we started a family, and 4.5 years later, we're just getting to the point of being ready to consider the kids thing.

    Both MH and I have been described as mature beyond our years, and felt like it was the right time to get married. It wouldn't work for everyone, but it worked for us
  • jeccalou
    jeccalou Posts: 92 Member
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    Hello, I got married young but I wouldnt trade it for anything.. it honestly depends on the person & when they find the one.. I got engaged at 18 and got married at 20.

    but you are still 20. so yeah. um. i'd hope you'd still be happy.

    :laugh: :laugh:

    I have been with my husband for 6 years..I will be 21 in a month.. I am very happy.. you say you have been divorced how many times? I would say you need to look into youself before you start pointing fingers and making judgments ;)


    Creepy.

    What's creepy?
    Sounds like they were high school sweethearts and got married when she was 20.
  • GetFitE
    GetFitE Posts: 247 Member
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    When they land a sweet job and you don't have to sign any prenups..

    Even with a sweet job, I'm still signing a prenup. Thankfully my boyfriend was TOTALLY cool with my idea of having 3 accounts: his, hers, and shared (for house/kid/bills type of responsibilities). Our prenup will only split the shared account and not touch our individual accounts.

    I'm not married nor engaged. I'm 2 weeks from being 25 and not close to the engagement line either (although in a very serious relationship with a 30 year old, who, too, is not ready to get married). I have plans on going back to school to advance my career...and I'd rather have this aspect of school out of the way... a) I don't have to report him on taxes, therefore can prob get more financial aid, and b) when I graduate from school I'll be making more money, therefore making us more stable.

    Mentally & emotionally, we're both ready for it, but financially and physically we're not--so we wait.
  • EBFNP
    EBFNP Posts: 529 Member
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    I always thought I would be married in my late 20s ...27-29 and then have my first child soon after. I hope it happens :)
  • Ladydi1982
    Ladydi1982 Posts: 218 Member
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    I met my husband at 19, got engaged at 26, married at 28 and will be turning 30 in April, having our first child in May. I honestly think it's all about your personalities. My husband and I are perfect for each other. Sure we bicker and argue sometimes, but that is healthy. We constantly think of the other person and have serious conversations as well as spend time together. We also spend time apart with our friends. You have to work together as a unit, otherwise it just won't work.
  • oddyogi
    oddyogi Posts: 1,816 Member
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    Even with a sweet job, I'm still signing a prenup. Thankfully my boyfriend was TOTALLY cool with my idea of having 3 accounts: his, hers, and shared (for house/kid/bills type of responsibilities). Our prenup will only split the shared account and not touch our individual accounts.

    I'm not married nor engaged. I'm 2 weeks from being 25 and not close to the engagement line either (although in a very serious relationship with a 30 year old, who, too, is not ready to get married). I have plans on going back to school to advance my career...and I'd rather have this aspect of school out of the way... a) I don't have to report him on taxes, therefore can prob get more financial aid, and b) when I graduate from school I'll be making more money, therefore making us more stable.

    Mentally & emotionally, we're both ready for it, but financially and physically we're not--so we wait.

    Happy early birthday. Mine is on Saturday and I'm turning 25 too. :flowerforyou: :drinker:
  • poustotah
    poustotah Posts: 1,121 Member
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    I got married when I was 17. Divorced when I was 20. We were high school sweethearts. I got re-married when I was 28 and by then I was comfortable with myself, the drama was gone, and I'd grown up a LOT. I don't think there is a right or wrong age I think everyone is different.
  • unmitigatedbadassery
    unmitigatedbadassery Posts: 653 Member
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    When you are BOTH mature enough to accept that a relationship requires diligence on both parts. Not until then.
  • cakeums
    cakeums Posts: 231 Member
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    Married at 23, first kid at 25, 2nd at 27, still happily together at 31. I'll admit, I'm not expert and by the time 40 rolls around things could change - but these ages felt right to me. Looking back, they still look like the right choices.

    There's tons of good and bad advice out there on being married at any age, so I don't think there's a good answer to your question. So many factors...

    The only thing I'd stress - don't have kids thinking it'll bring you closer together. Although I've heard of that happening to people, all I've found is kids add a TON of stress to mix and being a good "team" is absolutely required. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids, and IMHO they are "good" kids - but they are easily the most difficult thing I've ever been involved with (but the rewards are great!).

    ...are you my husband in disguise? LOL! Sounds exactly like something he would say. Especially the part about being a team - if you can't agree on the fundamentals of parenting, then you will turn what is already a stressful experience into something that just drives you completely apart.

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