You wouldn't dat eme when I was fat... why should I date n
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I don't know about you, but attention from someone I didn't get before is a huge form of flattery...I am getting in shape to be healthy, but let's face it, I want to look good and be attractive. When I was in better shape, I was far more popular with the ladies, and I miss that a lot.
maybe it's a guy thing, but getting the attention I didn't previously get is a motivation for me, not something I get angry or bitter about. Yes, I want to be liked for who I am, but attraction is very important.0 -
This thread reminds me of the How I Met Your Mother episode where they start going to the gym. Barney already goes to the gym a lot. He has "investments" - women that he meets and is super nice and flirty with when they're overweight, so when they get skinny they'll sleep with him.
That's all.0 -
but if he wasn't attracted, why would he? is he not allowed to be attracted to someone's looks over another?Forget him. He should have approached you before such a big change. Just going to the gym says something positive about you. That would have been a good ice breaker.0 -
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Okay I have a rant. I go to a male dominanted gym only because it's close to home. I go i do my thing and i leave. I am not there to pick up guys or socialize. there are plenty of skinny fat girls wearing lulus and a ton of makeup for the hot bods to oogle.
The last couple of days i notice that this guy, who is very attractive probably early to mid 30s, Is always there at the same time as me. He stares at me and uses machines close to mine. I smile and go about my business, He has been going there since I started and never gave me the time of day before, when I would maybe see him once a week. Now I just feel like he's taking notice because i've dropped some weight. Should i be flattered or am i right to be a little preturbed by this new found attention?
Maybe he noticed your progress and is secretly proud.
Or maybe your boobs hit your chin when you bounce.0 -
Be flattered! I know that when I was in good shape I found myself hotter than I do now ha ha! To be fair, if you have not talked to someone and they do not who you are or your personality than all they have to go on is physical attraction. It is not wrong to be attracted to someone who is more fit, we all have a different type. Maybe he is impressed with your progress. Unless he is ogling and bothering you, I say enjoy it!!0
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Why do women put way too much thought into things? Quit over thinking and over reacting.0
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NEWSFLASH: Guys like women they are attracted to.0
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let me get this straight
You are upset that he didnt notice you when you were bigger and now that he is noticing you, you are upset? :noway:0 -
harsh opinion:
Maybe you at a bigger you wasn't his cup of tea. And him being attracted to you for being smaller is not wrong. If he likes a certain look on a woman, then he likes a certain look. No one ever walks up to a person out of nowhere because they look like they have a great personality. That doesn't even make sense. You COULD oblige him. Allow him to court you and all that jazz. But remember... If you EVER get bigger? (pregnancy, car accident, something in your body stops working and causes massive water weight) you cannot be upset if he starts treating you crazy or leaves or stops courting you.
So to answer your question, I think you're thinking along the right lines as far as picking up on what he likes and feeling like he or anyone should like you when you don't even think you're so hot. Because looks fade and nobody wants to talk to someone who they believe ONLY want to talk to them for their looks. But he isn't wrong for being attracted to you because you're slimmer.
At the very least, talk to him. Maybe he's attracted to your will power and strength. Perhaps he sees a really strong woman who took herself from being someone who she obviously didn't like too much, to someone who saw a flaw, grabbed it by the horns, and made it work out for her.
All the best :drinker:0 -
There are girls I see every day at the gym that I find attractive, but I don't hit on them or bother them. Women are not always approachable when working out. I wonder if the women I shoot little smiles at think I'm not worth their time because I "didn't notice" them weeks ago???
Do women really think this way... that it's because they were heavier in the past, and now my sudden attention is purely from their weight loss? Of all the potential reasons for this situation, I'd say the OP has picked the one drawing on her insecurities. Sorry, but that's one guys POV. :flowerforyou:
I'd say just be happy he is showing you attention, and don't worry about trying to understand why it didn't happen earlier.0 -
If you feel flattered, feel flattered. If you're offended, feel offended. Either is your prerogative. What I will say is that I don't think it's wrong for him to not be attracted to you when you were heavier, and now finding himself to be attracted to you. Don't you look at yourself in the mirror now and find yourself more attractive than before? Then why should a stranger feel any different?
Even when I was at my heaviest, I never dated an overweight guy. They're not my type and I don't feel bad about that.0 -
Aren't we all initially attracted to what we see, though? Given that we don't know the person before we start talking to them, looks are the first thing we notice... so you've been working hard, and he likes what he sees! Be flattered and keep busting *kitten*!0
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General consensus so far-
Be happy he finds you attractive and shows interest
There are tons of people out there that havent had that luxury, or used to have that luxury and no longer do..0 -
hrm.
like many of the other responders, i don't quite get this.
when a once-skinny girl who used to get attention gains weight, she sometimes notices a lack of male attnetion. Realizes she is out of shape, works hard to lose the weight and then gets boy's attnetion again. She is happy and content.
but when a girl who was overweight for maybe a long time ~loses~ the weight and then notices boy's attention, she gets pissed they didn't notice her when she was larger?
Huh?0 -
Maybe you're right, and he is ogling you, but what he is attracted to is the energy, confidence and strength you must project. Maybe he looks to you for inspiration, or maybe he's trying to see what exactly you are doing to get such great results! No matter the reason, be flattered and keep on keeping on!0
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Why do women put way too much thought into things? Quit over thinking and over reacting.
Yes, please!0 -
but if he wasn't attracted, why would he? is he not allowed to be attracted to someone's looks over another?Forget him. He should have approached you before such a big change. Just going to the gym says something positive about you. That would have been a good ice breaker.
because this new found attraction is only skin deep. I am still the exact same person I was before losing weight has not affected my personalitly in the least. I always thought I was sexy and attractive, Perhaps this is why it bothers me so much.0 -
let me get this straight
You are upset that he didnt notice you when you were bigger and now that he is noticing you, you are upset? :noway:
Makes "PERFECT" sense to me.......
or not.0
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