You wouldn't dat eme when I was fat... why should I date n

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  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
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    WAH WAH WAH. I'm so sick of people WHINING about being found attractive.

    PS- Let's say the first time you see Joe, he's dirty and on a street corner begging for money. A few weeks later, you meet a well-groomed millionaire named Joe.

    How's the shoe feel when it's on the other foot?

    WIN!
  • Bikini27
    Bikini27 Posts: 1,298 Member
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    Im going to be really blunt here but most people are not attracted to people who are overweight. Even most of us on here are not happy with the way we looked and that is why we are trying to make changes. Why would you expect others to not feel the same. You can say you are the same person on the inside but even that is probably not true. We change as we feel better or worse about ourselves.

    There was a recent post I saw on here about man crushes. I saw that vast majority of people posting pictures of really fit or at least thin celebs. It is just the way it is. Be comfortable with yourself, be happy with your effort to become more healthy and look better and appreciate that others take notice of the changes.

    Yep. All the truth. :flowerforyou:
  • boomboom011
    boomboom011 Posts: 1,459
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    hmmm. people still say "Burn!!!!" ?

    I do cause my husband is a dork and he uses it all the time. I kinda miss it. I wanna bring it back.
  • SergeantSunshine_reused
    SergeantSunshine_reused Posts: 5,382 Member
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    Losing weight makes you look more attractive. Obviously more people are going to be interested. The first thing you see about some is looks.

    I don't see why you should be offended?
  • memcd911
    memcd911 Posts: 230 Member
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    hmmm. people still say "Burn!!!!" ?

    Obviously they do, tool, b/c she just did.

    Yes, people still say "tool" as well.
  • lickmybaconcakes
    lickmybaconcakes Posts: 1,063 Member
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    Im going to be really blunt here but most people are not attracted to people who are overweight. Even most of us on here are not happy with the way we looked and that is why we are trying to make changes. Why would you expect others to not feel the same. You can say you are the same person on the inside but even that is probably not true. We change as we feel better or worse about ourselves.

    There was a recent post I saw on here about man crushes. I saw that vast majority of people posting pictures of really fit or at least thin celebs. It is just the way it is. Be comfortable with yourself, be happy with your effort to become more healthy and look better and appreciate that others take notice of the changes.

    This is the truth and it does not stroke our egos but nonetheless it is the truth, you can't change the truth to whatever you want it to be; but you can change aspects of yourself to what you want them to be.
  • gogojodee
    gogojodee Posts: 1,261 Member
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    Fact is...he may have seen you as a fat slacker gym wannabe but maybe he's been watching your progress and is impressed and attracted now. It happens, don't discredit someone just because they didn't take notice before.

    I totally agree. I totally can understand where you're coming from, but also, that person doesn't know where you're coming from either and what your deal/story is. Keep going and do your thing. If he's interested, he'll make it known.
  • Silver_Star
    Silver_Star Posts: 1,351 Member
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    1. If you ARE interested, keep on doing your thing and if he talks to you then talk with him and take things from there!
    2. If you are NOT interested, don't smile or be rude either, just ignore politely and keep on exercising and then leave!

    Either way, MAKE a choice and STICK to it.
  • gogojodee
    gogojodee Posts: 1,261 Member
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    Im going to be really blunt here but most people are not attracted to people who are overweight. Even most of us on here are not happy with the way we looked and that is why we are trying to make changes. Why would you expect others to not feel the same. You can say you are the same person on the inside but even that is probably not true. We change as we feel better or worse about ourselves.

    There was a recent post I saw on here about man crushes. I saw that vast majority of people posting pictures of really fit or at least thin celebs. It is just the way it is. Be comfortable with yourself, be happy with your effort to become more healthy and look better and appreciate that others take notice of the changes.

    Ditto.
  • ChrisIn757
    ChrisIn757 Posts: 159 Member
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    By the sounds of it, you have never even spoken to this guy, just because YOU have noticed you lost weight doesn't mean people who have never known you have! That's pretty self-centered of you. Ok so he hasn't noticed you in the past, you don't know this guys situation, maybe he recently became single and is now looking. Don't make it about you. Hell, until he even says anything all you have is coincidence. Maybe he goes to the gym and thinks the same thing about you..."man, this girl who smiles at me is always working out near the equipment I want to use..."

    For all you know he was attracted to you when you were heavier and he's slowly building up the confidence to talk to you by seeing if you get weirded out by him "checking you out". There are way too many variables here, you need to stop being so self-conscious about who you WERE and take pride in who you are now. Don't judge someone as being shallow who hasn't even opened his mouth to be shallow yet...
  • boomboom011
    boomboom011 Posts: 1,459
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    hmmm. people still say "Burn!!!!" ?

    I do cause my husband is a dork and he uses it all the time. I kinda miss it. I wanna bring it back.

    lol..."rock on".... there, I said it.... I want this back in circulation... err, if it was ever in circulation with anyone other than me...

    dude, thats rad!
  • Renabro904
    Renabro904 Posts: 2
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    Forget him. He should have approached you before such a big change. Just going to the gym says something positive about you. That would have been a good ice breaker.
    but if he wasn't attracted, why would he? is he not allowed to be attracted to someone's looks over another?
    I was about to ask the same thing.Attraction/looks are important as well as inner beauty. Let's not pretend that it is not.
  • beatnik236
    beatnik236 Posts: 120 Member
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    I ask myself this.
    Am I attracted to overweight men? The answer is no. Therefore, I should not be offended if a man isn't attracted to me because I am overweight. Does it suck. yes, but that's life, suck it up. Most people are more attractive when they are thinner (to an extent).. that is life..and it always isn't fair... the victim mentality needs to go
  • CrazyDaisysMommy
    CrazyDaisysMommy Posts: 472
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    Maybe said guy is new to the area, doesn't know a lot of people and sees that you and he might have something in common.
    Maybe he was in a relationship before and is a stand up guy who wouldn't have looked at other women, but now he's free...
    Maybe this guy was 50 pounds heavier last year. He's been working hard and he sees you at the gym and thinks, "she looks nice. She has lost some weight and works her butt off. I bet she would understand me and we'd get along."
    Maybe this guy would never dream of being flirty with a woman at the gym but he thought he read some signals from you and was flattered.
    Maybe he is gay and was actually checking out the guy on the machine next to you.
    Maybe...you don't realize that you are a hot mama and deserve to be oogled a little bit ever now and then!

    There are so many variables that are unknown. A friendly conversation might lead to a new friend, a workout buddy, a little romance, the love of your life, who knows. Enjoy the attention!
  • karimiller
    karimiller Posts: 22
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    Definitely be flattered and use it as a little morale booster...HOWEVER...be wary of these kinds of guys. Last year I had lost a bunch of weight and started dating a guy who seemed great. Until he showed me a photo of a girl on Facebook that he dated in high school and made the comment that he was glad it didn't work out because she had gotten fat since high school. At that point I hadn't told him about my weight loss so he didn't realize the effect that comment had on me. My dad always told me that he wished I would meet a great guy when I was heavier to make sure the guy loved me for me, not for how I look. So like I said (and it's just my opinion), definitely take it as a compliment that he's giving you attention, but be cautious about guys like that who never noticed you before.

    And congrats on the weight loss!!
  • SergeantSunshine_reused
    SergeantSunshine_reused Posts: 5,382 Member
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    Not sure why people are surprised or offended that you become less attractive when you let yourself go, and hotter and more noticed when you start to care more about your body and looks.
  • IronmanPanda
    IronmanPanda Posts: 2,083 Member
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    Not sure why people are surprised or offended that you become less attractive when you let yourself go, and hotter and more noticed when you start to care more about your body and looks.

    Because people are supposed to love you for your personality duh! Even if they've never spoken to you they should automatically know you have a great personality. I myself have 4.
  • Renabro904
    Renabro904 Posts: 2
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    People need to stop kidding themselves. No one person in particular.
    But we are human beings. We are animals.
    If you've never talked to someone before, isn't the very first thing that attracts you to them their looks?
    I mean, really. Let's just be honest here. There are a lot of people who do not find an overweight person attractive.
    We even criticize ourselves when we are overweight and say that we don't feel sexy. Or we don't feel attractive.
    It's just human nature to want someone who seems healthy.
    My two cents.
    Preach!
  • EdParry818
    EdParry818 Posts: 3
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    Don't get mad at him. If he's nice looking and your attracted to him talk to him. Maybe he noticed you heavier, and now see's you lighter. U work out to get healthier and better looking and sounds like it's working. So cash in on it! Us guys are not as emotionally mature and aware as you women. We are very visually oriented. (For better or worse). It takes time to get to know someone, and a lot of guys are not willing to take the time if not physically attracted on some level. As you lose weight, your face changes, your body changes and guys will notice u more. I'd be flattered and happy that what I am working so hard to accomplish is having some definite acknowledgements.

    I envy you. After I got up above 260# no more female looks for me. Even though I still worked out and am GORGEOUS. =) Okay, maybe not quite gorgeous or even good looking.

    Ed in Canoga Park
  • newmein2013
    newmein2013 Posts: 674 Member
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    I think the reason shouldn't really matter and you should enjoy the attention. Realistically speaking, as long as you don't plan on gaining the weight back, the past is completely irrelevant, especially if you didn't know him. The choice to get to know him is yours and yours only. Who knows, he may turn out to be a good workout buddy.

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