You wouldn't dat eme when I was fat... why should I date n

IronmanPanda

So now men can't show any interest in women that have lost weight or they may be labelled shallow because they may or may not have started noticing her because she's lost weight..wow this is confusing.

No men are only supposed to be attracted to women's personalities... even when we've never spoken.

catshark209

Okay I have a rant. I go to a male dominanted gym only because it's close to home. I go i do my thing and i leave. I am not there to pick up guys or socialize. there are plenty of skinny fat girls wearing lulus and a ton of makeup for the hot bods to oogle.

The last couple of days i notice that this guy, who is very attractive probably early to mid 30s, Is always there at the same time as me. He stares at me and uses machines close to mine. I smile and go about my business, He has been going there since I started and never gave me the time of day before, when I would maybe see him once a week. Now I just feel like he's taking notice because i've dropped some weight. Should i be flattered or am i right to be a little preturbed by this new found attention?

This happened to me at work. In my case, most of these guys I had known for a while and seen on a weekly basis, it wasn't just a hi how are you sort of thing in passing. It bugged me yet it didn't....mostly because most everyone knows I'm taken and yet they still tried lol.
Oh well.

catshark209

Do women really think this way... that it's because they were heavier in the past, and now my sudden attention is purely from their weight loss?

Can't speak for all women, and not the OP, but I do have a friend this happened to from one of my singles groups. My girl lost 40lbs, and one of the guys that always hung out was suddenly interested. She was interested in the other guy in the group, told him she wasn't interested, even though they were best buds, and then asked why, all those years he hadn't been interested. He freely admitted that he'd always enjoyed her personality, but it wasn't til she lost weight that he was romantically attracted.

Not saying this is right... just saying this is how things often work.

Yup, this.

jcstanton

Do women really think this way... that it's because they were heavier in the past, and now my sudden attention is purely from their weight loss?

Can't speak for all women, and not the OP, but I do have a friend this happened to from one of my singles groups. My girl lost 40lbs, and one of the guys that always hung out was suddenly interested. She was interested in the other guy in the group, told him she wasn't interested, even though they were best buds, and then asked why, all those years he hadn't been interested. He freely admitted that he'd always enjoyed her personality, but it wasn't til she lost weight that he was romantically attracted.

Not saying this is right... just saying this is how things often work.

Yup, this.

It's the same as when a woman who doesn't usually dress up/have a stylish hair cut/wear makeup goes out and gets a makeover. All of a sudden, because she looks different than she usually does, people (not just men) she has known for years are suddenly taking a second look. It's a natural reaction. Anything that's drastically out of the norm tends to grab your attention. Personally, I wouldn't be angry at a guy for taking a second look once I have lost weight. On one hand, I can understand the OP's point that you'd kind of like to know that your SO will be attracted to you and love you no matter what you look like because, over time, physical appearance inevitably changes. However, I also know that, when I look in the mirror at 257lbs, I certainly don't FEEL attractive. So why in the world would I expect a MAN, who doesn't know me from a hole in the ground, to find me attractive. It's like going to a job interview at a P.R. firm wearing dirty, worn out sweat pants and a tshirt. You could be the most qualified person in the world for the job, but if you don't present yourself well, they're not even going to take the time to look at your resume. That's just the way the world works. It's an unfortunate truth. However, I do think there's a difference between losing weight to be healthy, getting a makeover to help with confidence, etc..., and going to the extreme by having unnecessary surgeries, starving yourself, etc... to look like a picture in a magazine or to live up to the ideal of some man who probably doesn't even appreciate WHO you are.

kealambert

I can't believe this topic is still going strong! Is this for real?! Or am I dreaming?! :sick:
Poor man......He needs love too! I would love him, and cherish him, and call him 'darling'. :sad:

I'm alright! :bigsmile:

hahaha

Miss♥Ivi

I'd be flattered

KaleidoscopeEyes1056

Personally, from your profile picture, I think you're really pretty. I'd stare at you if you came to my gym.

rossi02

I wouldn't put this guy into that catagory.. only guys that I knew prior to losing weight, that had an idea I had a crush on them, or was told. After finding out I always got the.. "You are so funny, you are just like a little sister to me". Then later on when I (finally, thank God) grew out of my awkward phase and lost the baby weight I was suddenly moved out of the "like a sister zone" to being someone they would ask out. At that point, I would usually respond with, "that's so sweet, but I see you more as a big brother" then move on.

jcstanton

I wouldn't put this guy into that catagory.. only guys that I knew prior to losing weight, that had an idea I had a crush on them, or was told. After finding out I always got the.. "You are so funny, you are just like a little sister to me". Then later on when I (finally, thank God) grew out of my awkward phase and lost the baby weight I was suddenly moved out of the "like a sister zone" to being someone they would ask out. At that point, I would usually respond with, "that's so sweet, but I see you more as a big brother" then move on.

I always got, "You're a nice girl, but you're just not my type," , or , "I just think of you as one of the guys." line.