hooking up on first date??

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Replies

  • beskimoosh
    beskimoosh Posts: 375 Member
    I wait along time until i decide to hook up with a guy, shows that hes worth it. If the guy is only into having sex with you then chuck that freak out your life. Hes propberly a man *kitten* with STDs no doubt and no soul and has 0 to talk about, most of the time those ones are terrible in bed because they are selfishn and its over in 1min. Wait for a real man, a gentleman who will not only like you for you but if the time comes and your ready to hook up, he will be so worth it :)

    I agree with waiting for a guy to prove he's worth it if that's what you want, but if someone hooks up on the first date it doesn't make you or him a *kitten*, nor does it mean he has STD's or "no soul". There are these STD preventing things called condoms, not sure if you've heard of them? :ohwell:

    I've made guys wait, I've hooked up on the first date too, and I can tell you, I don't have any STDs (nor have I ever), have tons to talk about and I certainly have a soul. Wanting to hook up does not make you selfish in bed also.

    To the OP, if a guy wants to hook up on the first date, it tends to mean that he wants sex. Not that it's all he wants, or that he's using you, just plain and simple, sex. Doesn't mean he won't call, doesn't mean he will. Wish I could help more, I've been there with the wondering and stressing about what things mean!

    Edit: Just to point out, only ever have sex if you're comfortable, and it's what you want to do. Never do it because it's what someone else wants when you aren't sure. If you're comfortable on the first date, go for it, if not, don't. Having sex with someone when you're not sure will never make you feel good about yourself
  • datguy2011
    datguy2011 Posts: 477 Member
    I wonder many friend requests misskortney will get with that comment! :) lol
  • mikkimomof3
    mikkimomof3 Posts: 224 Member
    Him trying doesn't necessarily say that much about him...but how he responds to your desire to wait will. Good luck :)
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    hey all, just needed some advice from males and females about the above topic! if a guy try's to have sex on the first date what does it tell about him? is it that bad? and oh say the guy and the girl don't really know each-other, they just met online 4 weeks ago!

    That's really not easy to answer. If it's a mutual thing and it just sort of naturally progresses to that, then I wouldn't think anything. I pretty much had sex with my current BF (of seven years as of next week) on the first date and the second time I met him (though my best friend knew him).

    At the time, I don't think either of us was thinking relationship, but that's where it went.

    However, if a guy just pushes with no signal or participation from the woman and won't take no for an answer, I would think he was a jerk and there wouldn't be a second date.
  • druelo77
    druelo77 Posts: 1
    Here is my input/advice...I met my husband at work, we talked for about a month then finally went on a date, we had sex that night after, been together 8 yrs and counting, got married 2 yrs ago this June, so I say go on a date, go with how you feel, I don't personally feel there is anything wrong with having sex on a first date. I will say this, a woman, at least I do, know instantly after meeting a guy if I would have sex with him.
  • xo_morgan
    xo_morgan Posts: 298
    My babys dad & i had sex the 3rd time we hung out. We were together 3 years & we have a child together, no it did not work out. but it was on my part not his.

    I think you should just do whatever you want to do. Theres a lot of hype about whether a guy will stay with you if you have sex too soon. Who knows, maybe alot wont but all of my long relationships started that way. its your body & if you wanna *kitten* then fu*k.

    Whether you wait 5 months or you wait 5 hours, if thats ALL the guy is after then thats all hes after. waiting 5 months isnt going to change that. It will just be more time you invested in a relationship with a guy who just wanted sex.

    So pick & choose wisely. :wink:
  • Kerri_is_so_very
    Kerri_is_so_very Posts: 999 Member

    He'll try to have sex without a date, on the first date, on the second date, third date, etc etc etc.

    :laugh:
  • iampam4399
    iampam4399 Posts: 81 Member
    bump
  • rossi02
    rossi02 Posts: 549 Member
    I would gage what he's looking for more by, has he made more plans with you? Already asked you out for another date and is calling, texting or emailing you. Not so much about the sex part. Maybe he felt the connection after getting to know you on line and meeting in person was everything and more that he thought it could be. Like I stated in the first line.. where is he wanting to go from here.
  • k2charmed4u
    k2charmed4u Posts: 282
    I met a guy online in May 2010 we talked for about 6 months decided to be online friends (he was 30+ years older) then we decided to meet up for a friends with benefits weekend in Novemeber of 2010 (we slept together within a few hours of meeting and I stayed the whole weekend). Then Janaury 2011 we decided to give it a go as we loved each others company then march 2011 we were engaged, may 2011 we moved in together and he is now my husband as of 2 weeks ago :smooched: (march 2012). You never know where life will take you. He could be the one or he could be a jerk but you only live once. Only do what you're comfortable with and then you'll have no regrets :happy: I don't and i've never loved someone as much as I do him :love:
  • butterflyliz32
    butterflyliz32 Posts: 124 Member
    If you are into him, then do what feels right. I think this talk about first date, second date, don't do it until your 100th date, blah blah blah, is all about making yourself feel less guilty. I took the guilt out of dating, and it made dating a lot more fun. I have had sex on the first date, and I have never had sex, regardless of the date number. Depends on the spark.

    I did have sex on the first date a little over two years ago, and now we are married and happy as can be.

    I do not, however, think that you should have sex if you aren't feeling it, or if the guy (or girl! People are equal opportunity offenders) is overly pushy about it. That does lead to later shame and unhappiness (been there too).
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    I met this guy online and after four weeks of talking, we finally met. Hooked up that night. 8 years later (almost 5 years of marriage) I'm lucky enough to still hook up with that guy. Ha Ha.

    But he's a minute man with STDs, right? ;-)
  • MissTattoo
    MissTattoo Posts: 1,203 Member
    If two adults want to hook up on the first date then more power to them.

    I have irrational fears about STD's and what not so I don't do it.

    I did appreciate the last guy I was out with because he carried recent papers stating that he was tested for all STD's and came back clean in the last month. I still didn't sleep with him on the first date. ^_^
  • _Tristan_
    _Tristan_ Posts: 221 Member
    Yeah, we're guys. If you want to make us happy show up naked. If you want to make us really happy bring beer. However, let’s not play like you sweet, innocent women are not the same. You have needs too. Which, by the way, I found out are not needs at all. They are desires. Go figure….
  • HeidiMightyRawr
    HeidiMightyRawr Posts: 3,343 Member
    It means.. he finds you sexually attractive.

    Seriously, he may only want sex, he may be into you and wants to see how things go, he may REALLY be into you and see something serious happening. Who knows? It doesn't mean anything bad because he wants to sleep with you on the first date.

    If he lies to you to get it, or tries to pressure you into it when you don't want to jump in that soon, yeah it's probably the first option and he's an *kitten* at the same time.

    If you really like the guy though and want something serious out of it, you may want to wait a little longer than the first date (Just my opinion) I know there are lots of success stories that come from people hooking up as soon as they meet, but there's also lots of hurt feelings when one person lies to get what they want, and then doesn't want to know. At least you know if you wait a little longer, chances are he likes you somewhat for your personality as well as sexual appeal. Ultimately though, do what makes you happy :smile:
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,716 Member
    hey all, just needed some advice from males and females about the above topic! if a guy try's to have sex on the first date what does it tell about him? is it that bad? and oh say the guy and the girl don't really know each-other, they just met online 4 weeks ago!

    Oh honey.

    A guy TRIES to have sex the first time they see you. By the time it's moved to an actual date we're just frustratedly counting the minutes until actual sex.
  • HotCuppaJo
    HotCuppaJo Posts: 476 Member
    bump

    Lol... I'm so stupid. I saw this and thought all it said was "hump"....guess this post has got my mind in the gutter!!!
  • ErinBeth7
    ErinBeth7 Posts: 1,625 Member
    bump

    Lol... I'm so stupid. I saw this and thought all it said was "hump"....guess this post has got my mind in the gutter!!!

    LOL!
  • ampa916
    ampa916 Posts: 189 Member
    My first time I waited a year to have sex with my boyfriend. When we broke up after that (yes he waited a year to have sex then dumped me after wards and no I wasn't the clingy type) My next boyfriend a year later and I had sex on the first night we met online originally but had talked on the phone everyday for hours before meeting in person. It was an actual relationship not just about sex. The last guy was just a hook up but I made it clear that is all I wanted but we didn't have sex for about 3 months after meeting by mutual friends, and when I met my husband we had sex the first night too. (a girls got needs lol) Point is if it isn't what said girl wants then she needs to make clear that isn't going to happen and if that is all he wants he needs to take a hike. Be in control of your own sex life, don't do it because it is expected or don't not do it because you worry what someone else will think. BE SAFE ALWAYS.
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
    I wonder many friend requests misskortney will get with that comment! :) lol


    HA!
  • reztib
    reztib Posts: 151 Member
    If you looking to make this long term and you are uncomfortable with having sex, then if he really respects you he will back off and wait. Statistics say that if he gets his way the first time he will probably move on.
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
    I will sleep with anyone I find attractive, regardless of how long I've known them. Sex is just something fun to do with your clothes off, IMHO.

    Hi, nice to meet you :flowerforyou:

    Hahahahah!!!

    Hey.. how you doin?
  • Krizzle4Rizzle
    Krizzle4Rizzle Posts: 2,704 Member
    I didn't have sex with my current boyfriend for 6 weeks after we were together. I didn't plan it..it just happened like this. We both wanted to take things slow, and one night it just happened.
  • Shanna_Inc86
    Shanna_Inc86 Posts: 781 Member
    For some sex is an emotional experience, for others (myself included) sex is just something we do for pleasure. Like tennis.

    OMG I LOVE THIS....hahahahaha you compared it to tennis....OUTSTANDING! :laugh:


    I will sleep with anyone I find attractive, regardless of how long I've known them. Sex is just something fun to do with your clothes off, IMHO.



    Hi, nice to meet you

    Hahahahah!!!



    Hey.. how you doin?

    You ladies crack me up!


    IMO...do what feels right TO YOUj
    Be safe, use protection
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,307 Member
    What is this "sex" thing everyone is talking about. :ohwell:
  • ItsMandeeBitch
    ItsMandeeBitch Posts: 159 Member
    If you want a relationship with this guy then don't give him everything on the first date!

    Agree i find when you give it all up the first night what is there to look forward too. Unless he sees his life with you that fast he will move on and you got played.
  • Faintgreeneyes
    Faintgreeneyes Posts: 729 Member
    Men think about sex, a lot. So is it bad that he wants to have sex on the first date? No. It is just the way men are wired.

    However, if you are not comfortable with "hooking up" on the first date, then don't.

    I am an anomaly as I have only been with one person- but that was my choice. If a guy is into you, for more than just a casual hook up, he will respect you if you want to wait. If he doesn't that's when I would see warning signs.

    As others have said though- do what you feel comfortable with- because that's all that really matters.
  • Bohohippy
    Bohohippy Posts: 56
    Ditch... anyone who can't wait isn't worth your time :) I met my boyfriend online (2 years in) first date, all he got was a kiss, hug and holding hands hehe. All my other failed short relationships, the guy wanted sex from day one usually. :S
  • FitLink
    FitLink Posts: 1,317 Member
    I basically forced myself on my ex, and my bf basically forced himself on me so it worked out both ways :)
    Um let's not try to make forced sex sound OK.

    No, let's not. It's never okay. Ever. Even "basically."
  • _binary_jester_
    _binary_jester_ Posts: 2,132 Member
    Guys NOT wanting sex on the first date only happens in movies...and Hallmark cards.
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