hooking up on first date??

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Replies

  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member

    Sure some men don't care whether a girl sleeps with everyone in town or not, but some men do.

    WOAH - sleeping with ONE guy on the first date does NOT mean that you sleep with the whole town!

    Listen women, you need to stop judging other women. If you don't believe in it, cool; if you do, cool. That is up to you. Men don't call each other *kitten* when they sleep with a chick they just met.

    And just to be real - next time you tell your bf / hubby that some chick is a *kitten*... watch for the slight smile when he says, "OMG babe, that is sooo gross". Just sayin.

    No kidding!

    Yes, I slept with the current BF quickly. But I actually hadn't had sex in two years at that point because I hadn't met anyone in that time who I thought worthy of it. Which may explain the quickness ... lol
  • lickmybaconcakes
    lickmybaconcakes Posts: 1,063 Member
    hey all, just needed some advice from males and females about the above topic! if a guy try's to have sex on the first date what does it tell about him? is it that bad? and oh say the guy and the girl don't really know each-other, they just met online 4 weeks ago!

    Well if I tried it on the first date that would probably mean I really liked you.
    It's not bad it's just showing some interest.
  • SinIsIn
    SinIsIn Posts: 1,865 Member
    <--- hooked up once on a first date... it was good times. I am now married to him. :bigsmile:
  • skierxjes
    skierxjes Posts: 926 Member
    I started talking to a guy on a Wednesday, met him Thursday, had sex a few times that night and we were together for 9 months until he moved too far to keep together. :/
  • coachblt
    coachblt Posts: 1,090
    So what y'all are saying is that I should try to sack the chick on the first date? I don't think I could do that! Feels so cheap.
  • MrsLehman24
    MrsLehman24 Posts: 204 Member
    He is waiting till the first date? Damn, that is a man with self control.

    Let's get real people... most men meet you and think about sex. They are wired that way (and some of us women are too HAHHA). It is up to you on what you are comfortable with. Old school people will claim that he is a pig and you need to wait. It is your life and your body - do what is right for you!

    Exactly. The pig isn't the guy willing to go all the way on the first date, the pig is the guy who lies in order to make it happen. There is a big difference there.

    I agree... There is nothing I hate more than a man that will lie just to get in your pants. That is a PIG!
  • It totally depends on my agenda. If I'm out there looking to get laid and have some fun, I have no problem hooking up on the first date... Because honestly, there probably won't be another.

    If I'm meeting someone I've been talking to online or through text first, I will make more of an effort to make a legitimate personal connection with them on the date... If it doesn't happen then I'm not likely to sleep with them.

    The best was my long distance bf in the states...We'd been "dating" online our first official "date" was the drive from the airport to a hotel. ;)

    Ha. Me too! Except he drove a great distance to pick me up then drove to a movie theater. Didn't work out with the movies so we went to a hotel :drinker:
  • Warmbloodwear
    Warmbloodwear Posts: 387 Member
    hey all, just needed some advice from males and females about the above topic! if a guy try's to have sex on the first date what does it tell about him? is it that bad? and oh say the guy and the girl don't really know each-other, they just met online 4 weeks ago!

    I'm going to let you in on a little secret. If he's trying to have sex on the first date................ That means he's a guy.

    He'll try to have sex without a date, on the first date, on the second date, third date, etc etc etc.

    :laugh: So true!
  • forgtmenot
    forgtmenot Posts: 860 Member

    Sure some men don't care whether a girl sleeps with everyone in town or not, but some men do.

    WOAH - sleeping with ONE guy on the first date does NOT mean that you sleep with the whole town!

    Listen women, you need to stop judging other women. If you don't believe in it, cool; if you do, cool. That is up to you. Men don't call each other *kitten* when they sleep with a chick they just met.

    And just to be real - next time you tell your bf / hubby that some chick is a *kitten*... watch for the slight smile when he says, "OMG babe, that is sooo gross". Just sayin.

    I'm giving my personal opinion on what the OP asked. I don't think it is a good idea to make a habit of having sex on the first date. That is my opinion. I never called you or anyone else a *kitten*...
  • I've been with a couple of women over the years that had sex on the first date. Not initiated by me. One turned into a long term relationship of 4 years. The other was jsut the one night. Guess it was a one night stand.
  • Tiggerrick
    Tiggerrick Posts: 1,078 Member
    HEY YOU PEOPLE!!! WOMEN THINK ABOUT SEX TOO. DID YOU KNOW THAT?! I mean really, this whole, "men think about sex a lot." thing is a load of bullsh!t... it's not just men. And the idea that women should hold their vaginas hostage to some kind of emotional connection or monetary reimbursement is disgusting. We all have sex organs, everyone should practice using them, get good at using them, and enjoy them. REGARDLESS OF WHETHER OR NOT IT'S AN INNIE OR AN OUTIE.
    AND, if you are NOT going to enjoy it, don't do it.
    I totally broke up with a woman over bad sex... didn't know it existed till her.
  • adrian_indy
    adrian_indy Posts: 1,444 Member
    Where does everyone stand on handjobs?
  • TinkrBelz
    TinkrBelz Posts: 866 Member
    I have two brothers... was in the Army ... and generally keep more male friends than female; so yeah, I see sex differently than some women. I don't hold the Va-JJ hostage and I dont use it as a weapon of mass destruction either.

    I dont see how holding out for months, years etc is going to make him want you more.

    Just use common sense and protection. Easy enough, right?

    HEY YOU PEOPLE!!! WOMEN THINK ABOUT SEX TOO. DID YOU KNOW THAT?! I mean really, this whole, "men think about sex a lot." thing is a load of bullsh!t... it's not just men. And the idea that women should hold their vaginas hostage to some kind of emotional connection or monetary reimbursement is disgusting. We all have sex organs, everyone should practice using them, get good at using them, and enjoy them. REGARDLESS OF WHETHER OR NOT IT'S AN INNIE OR AN OUTIE

    I do not see not having sex on a first date as holding my Va-J as hostage or using it as a weapon to get what I want. I see it as being picky. Not any man get the right to ride this ride. And just because you are a cute, funny, and bought me a few drinks does not mean that you get sex.

    I know a lot of people view sex as casual, I guess that I do not. But with all sorts of STDs out there, I just think, if I were single, I would be very picky about whom I have sex with. And yes, you can use protection, but that is putting a lot of trust into a thin piece of latex.

    But, I do think once you found that right person then
    We all have sex organs, everyone should practice using them, get good at using them, and enjoy them. REGARDLESS OF WHETHER OR NOT IT'S AN INNIE OR AN OUTIE
    I agree 100%
  • this14now
    this14now Posts: 30 Member
    hey all, just needed some advice from males and females about the above topic! if a guy try's to have sex on the first date what does it tell about him? is it that bad? and oh say the guy and the girl don't really know each-other, they just met online 4 weeks ago!

    I'm going to let you in on a little secret. If he's trying to have sex on the first date................ That means he's a guy.

    He'll try to have sex without a date, on the first date, on the second date, third date, etc etc etc.

    This guy has his **** together lol! So true! Take it as a compliment that he is into you! Does not mean you have to jump into the sack just because he wants too... Although I have known many people that just go with their impulses *cough* me..... And I have been happily married to that impulse for several years now *wink, wink* :)
  • _binary_jester_
    _binary_jester_ Posts: 2,132 Member
    Where does everyone stand on handjobs?
    Wrist strength is important.
  • SwannySez
    SwannySez Posts: 5,860 Member
    Where does everyone stand on handjobs?

    Totally not sex. Neither is oral. Unless it involves salad tossing. Actually according to most junior high and high school girls nowadays, anal is not sex either. So...there seems to be a good deal of leeway here.
  • determinedbutlazy
    determinedbutlazy Posts: 1,941 Member
    It totally depends on my agenda. If I'm out there looking to get laid and have some fun, I have no problem hooking up on the first date... Because honestly, there probably won't be another.

    If I'm meeting someone I've been talking to online or through text first, I will make more of an effort to make a legitimate personal connection with them on the date... If it doesn't happen then I'm not likely to sleep with them.

    The best was my long distance bf in the states...We'd been "dating" online our first official "date" was the drive from the airport to a hotel. ;)

    Ha. Me too! Except he drove a great distance to pick me up then drove to a movie theater. Didn't work out with the movies so we went to a hotel :drinker:

    He was really sweet about it: "I bet you're tired, you should take a nap, I'll go get us some food and we can order a movie or something to watch...."

    And then I stuffed his *kitten* in the lift and he knew what was what.
  • forgtmenot
    forgtmenot Posts: 860 Member
    I do not see not having sex on a first date as holding my Va-J as hostage or using it as a weapon to get what I want. I see it as being picky. Not any man get the right to ride this ride. And just because you are a cute, funny, and bought me a few drinks does not mean that you get sex.

    I know a lot of people view sex as casual, I guess that I do not. But with all sorts of STDs out there, I just think, if I were single, I would be very picky about whom I have sex with. And yes, you can use protection, but that is putting a lot of trust into a thin piece of latex.

    Agreed
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    So what y'all are saying is that I should try to sack the chick on the first date? I don't think I could do that! Feels so cheap.

    I don't think anyone should do anything he or she is not comfortable with.

    I've never gone into a date with the intention of having sex. When it has happened, it's been the result of hours and hours of talking and really clicking and having a strong chemistry so you get to the point where you almost can't help it.

    How it went with the current BF:

    I was staying with my best friend who worked weekends as a cocktail waitress. I was in town interviewing for a job, which I got offered and accepted within 45 minutes of my interview. I went to work with her that night and spent several hours talking to two guys who were cousins. I had a nice time, but they left and I figured that was the end. Four months later, I was in the same bar and ran into one of the guys again. We played silly video games, talked and just hung out until closing, then joined my friend and another friend of our for breakfast. At 4 a.m., we went back to the bar so everyone could get their individual cars from the lot. The now-boyfriend was saying goodbye to me at my car and he kissed me and we ended up back at my apartment. The entire time, I was saying I wasn't going to have sex with him, but it just happened.

    It was natural between us, I guess. And neither of us intended it to turn into a relationship. He was actually supposed to be in military training where he couldn't leave the base for several months, which was kind of the appeal because I didn't want to get seriously involved with anyone.

    Seven years later, we see how that worked out ...
  • Smuterella
    Smuterella Posts: 1,623 Member
    Where does everyone stand on handjobs?

    they make my arm ache
  • _binary_jester_
    _binary_jester_ Posts: 2,132 Member
    <snip>
    Actually according to most junior high and high school girls nowadays, anal is not sex either. So...there seems to be a good deal of leeway here.
    I actually might have attended high school back in the day if that opinion was prevalent.
  • SailingMike
    SailingMike Posts: 237 Member
    Honestly, I think it means he does not respect you. Do you really want a relationship BASED on sex or would you like a great friendship with your spouse where sex is the icing on the cake?
  • chrishgt4
    chrishgt4 Posts: 1,222 Member
    The fact that women have to set rules shows that they think about it at least as much as men. At least we are honest about our intentions.

    By making someone wait a long time you are making sex out to be some grand prize, which to me makes someone more likely to stick it out till they get what they want then drop you.

    To me, setting a rule of a certain amount of dates is stupid. Like you take some arbitrary number and go with it rather than how you feel about each other. Some of my longest/best relationships have started with first date sex. Some have started with first night sex. I don't judge someone on how quickly we had sex, I judge them on what I think of them as a person.

    If anything - having a connection that leads to you both wanting sex straight away is something that shouldn't be overlooked. That fire can be the basis for great relationships.
  • grinch031
    grinch031 Posts: 1,679
    If you want a relationship with this guy then don't give him everything on the first date!

    Agree i find when you give it all up the first night what is there to look forward too. Unless he sees his life with you that fast he will move on and you got played.

    What is there to look forward to after waiting 3 months...then what?? Or what is there to look forward to after you do it upon marriage? Either way, withholding it to have something to look forward to isn't really sound logic because eventually that moment will come where there is nothing left to look forward to.

    Its one thing to take it slow as to give yourself time to determine what your partner is trying to get out of the relationship before taking the plunge. But with both parties honest about their intentions and expectations within the relationship, then it works out best for people finding the partner most suitable for them, regardless of when that particular moment happens.
  • SwannySez
    SwannySez Posts: 5,860 Member
    <snip>
    Actually according to most junior high and high school girls nowadays, anal is not sex either. So...there seems to be a good deal of leeway here.
    I actually might have attended high school back in the day if that opinion was prevalent.

    The David Wooderson on my shoulder whispers in my ear, "Man, I toooooold you not to get outta teachin'."
  • Tiggerrick
    Tiggerrick Posts: 1,078 Member
    Where does everyone stand on handjobs?

    Totally not sex. Neither is oral. Unless it involves salad tossing. Actually according to most junior high and high school girls nowadays, anal is not sex either. So...there seems to be a good deal of leeway here.
    Do THEY wait till the third date?
  • lvpthemvp
    lvpthemvp Posts: 266 Member
    Hooking up on the first date is not a date but a booty call. if wanting to have sex is a good idea on the 1st date due to mutual attraction then it will be a good idea in the future. The key to me seems to be making sure we date what we are looking for. I f we are looking for long standing relationships then we need to date mates who are looking for the same. If we are looking for quick physical relationships- then we should pick mates who are looking for the same. I think the confusion starts and people get hurt when the transparency is missing and one side is looking for love and the other side is looking for sports sex.
  • SailingMike
    SailingMike Posts: 237 Member
    Where does everyone stand on handjobs?

    Totally not sex. Neither is oral. Unless it involves salad tossing. Actually according to most junior high and high school girls nowadays, anal is not sex either. So...there seems to be a good deal of leeway here.

    OH, yes! We should all take sex advice from 14 year olds.... ummm how dumb is that?
  • chrishgt4
    chrishgt4 Posts: 1,222 Member
    Honestly, I think it means he does not respect you. Do you really want a relationship BASED on sex or would you like a great friendship with your spouse where sex is the icing on the cake?

    A relationship that starts by denial of sex makes sex the target, surely?

    That isn't to say that you should have sex if you don't want to, but if you want to but feel you 'shouldn't' then I'd say it is making sex the focus of the relationship.

    I'm assuming the guy tried, got knocked back and accepted it and didn't force himself upon her.

    What is wrong with that? Just because his rules are different to hers is not a reason to dismiss someone.

    What if someone thinks that people should wait til the 6th date before they can kiss. On date 2 the guy goes in for a kiss. Should he be rejected for trying?
  • Aperture_Science
    Aperture_Science Posts: 840 Member
    Where does everyone stand on handjobs?

    they make my arm ache

    You need to lift heavy and up your protein intake.
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