hooking up on first date??

opus649

Man this thread is full of some massive generalization. Not EVERY guy thinks about sex all the time. And priorities change as you get older. But saying that every man will "try" to have sex on the first date is inaccurate IMO. And there's a big difference between "wanting" to have sex and "trying" to have sex.

Maybe I'm naive, but I can't believe I'm the only male who thinks this way.

fiveferrels

Tell him to kick rocks!!!!

debstanley4

hey all, just needed some advice from males and females about the above topic! if a guy try's to have sex on the first date what does it tell about him? is it that bad? and oh say the guy and the girl don't really know each-other, they just met online 4 weeks ago!

I'm going to let you in on a little secret. If he's trying to have sex on the first date................ That means he's a guy.

He'll try to have sex without a date, on the first date, on the second date, third date, etc etc etc.

What he said.

T_R_A_V

Its a 2 way street now

Ive had a few women try and sleep with me on the first date

So its not always guys, women think that way as well

HMD7703

HEY YOU PEOPLE!!! WOMEN THINK ABOUT SEX TOO. DID YOU KNOW THAT?! I mean really, this whole, "men think about sex a lot." thing is a load of bullsh!t... it's not just men. And the idea that women should hold their vaginas hostage to some kind of emotional connection or monetary reimbursement is disgusting. We all have sex organs, everyone should practice using them, get good at using them, and enjoy them. REGARDLESS OF WHETHER OR NOT IT'S AN INNIE OR AN OUTIE.

I am soooo starting a fan club in your honor! Preach on girl, preach on (and add pix).

DMZ_1

From the information the OP provided, we really learn nothing. That's fairly typical male behavior. Only take a relationship to that level when you are both ready.

JennaM222

Guys NOT wanting sex on the first date only happens in movies...and Hallmark cards.

Not True!

My BF now of 2 years wouldnt sleep with me fore like 2 months! I tried and tried, and finally he gave in. When a guy is interested in a girl for long term, he won't want to sleep with her quickly. Well, he will want to, but he won't.

So I've imagined the last seven years living with my boyfriend, then? I imagined him calling me every night the first week after we slept together (the second time we met) and talking for hours, then calling me every morning on his way to work? I imagined him begging me to join him and his friends on a weekend vacation the following week? I imagined him driving hours out of our way to introduce me to his mom and stepdad a month after we met?

I wonder how he'd treat a woman he was actually interested in ...

There is always an excepteption to the rule, rarely. No need to get upset!

La_Amazona

HEY YOU PEOPLE!!! WOMEN THINK ABOUT SEX TOO. DID YOU KNOW THAT?! I mean really, this whole, "men think about sex a lot." thing is a load of bullsh!t... it's not just men. And the idea that women should hold their vaginas hostage to some kind of emotional connection or monetary reimbursement is disgusting. We all have sex organs, everyone should practice using them, get good at using them, and enjoy them. REGARDLESS OF WHETHER OR NOT IT'S AN INNIE OR AN OUTIE.

I think A LOT about sex. Like a lot. I can sit here and day dream about it all.day.long.

JennaM222

Guys NOT wanting sex on the first date only happens in movies...and Hallmark cards.

Not True!

My BF now of 2 years wouldnt sleep with me fore like 2 months! I tried and tried, and finally he gave in. When a guy is interested in a girl for long term, he won't want to sleep with her quickly. Well, he will want to, but he won't.

Bah Jenna...you know I am mostly joking. It is a rare guy, but they do exist like snipes and jackalopes.

Ha Ha, exactly!

HMD7703

If he tries for sex on the first date, no big deal. If he tried for anal, that's just rude. Anal should be reserved for the 3rd date.

LMFAO!~ I choked on my gum.

I heart you!

Im_NotPerfect

Honestly I think it depends on the chemistry. I would have jumped my hubby on our first date if the time and place had been right. We knew we were going to get married within about a month of dating. But on other first dates I'd had, there was no way I was even going to let the guy kiss my cheek!!

Shanna_Inc86

HEY YOU PEOPLE!!! WOMEN THINK ABOUT SEX TOO. DID YOU KNOW THAT?! I mean really, this whole, "men think about sex a lot." thing is a load of bullsh!t... it's not just men. And the idea that women should hold their vaginas hostage to some kind of emotional connection or monetary reimbursement is disgusting. We all have sex organs, everyone should practice using them, get good at using them, and enjoy them. REGARDLESS OF WHETHER OR NOT IT'S AN INNIE OR AN OUTIE.

i you sooooo much right now!

:flowerforyou:

Quasita

Gotta be careful, I don't generally meet people that soon. Usually a couple weeks of emails and at least one phone call. If during those conversations, the topic of sex comes up, I have a heavy think before I consider meeting someone. Some men are online daters because it does tend to be casual sex central, especially via Plenty of Fish.

All I think it tells you is that he's a man. In his head, he may see you two as essentially dating for that month so it's not that weird for sex to come up. Also, frankly, as an adult, lots of the time people DO have sex on the first date... I guess I don't think it's anything weird, I would have to know the previous conversations and how this came about anyway.

I mean, if he asked, it's one thing. If he started humping you out of the blue, it's another. If you were making out and groping, then why are you surprised?

HauteP1nk

Wanting $ex on the first date is acceptable.

That being said, both the man and woman should be on the same page first...they need to communicate their expectations prior to having $ex.

If both of you just want a fling than that is fine, but if one person is expecting a relationship while the other is not things could get messy and someone could get hurt.

HMD7703

I have two brothers... was in the Army ... and generally keep more male friends than female; so yeah, I see sex differently than some women. I don't hold the Va-JJ hostage and I dont use it as a weapon of mass destruction either.

I dont see how holding out for months, years etc is going to make him want you more.

Just use common sense and protection. Easy enough, right?

Rae6503

HEY YOU PEOPLE!!! WOMEN THINK ABOUT SEX TOO. DID YOU KNOW THAT?! I mean really, this whole, "men think about sex a lot." thing is a load of bullsh!t... it's not just men. And the idea that women should hold their vaginas hostage to some kind of emotional connection or monetary reimbursement is disgusting. We all have sex organs, everyone should practice using them, get good at using them, and enjoy them. REGARDLESS OF WHETHER OR NOT IT'S AN INNIE OR AN OUTIE.

Agreed.

m60kaf

I think its a matter of finding a balance

If you are both up for first night and it seems right - why not

If you are both (or one of you) is up for waiting a polite couple of dates because that is what you think 'is right' no one should frown on that.

If one isn't interested in any thought in the first 6 months thats probably an issue!

Also it depends a little on the context of meeting and whats gone on through the dates.

rml_16

My BF now of 2 years wouldnt sleep with me fore like 2 months! I tried and tried, and finally he gave in. When a guy is interested in a girl for long term, he won't want to sleep with her quickly. Well, he will want to, but he won't.

So I've imagined the last seven years living with my boyfriend, then? I imagined him calling me every night the first week after we slept together (the second time we met) and talking for hours, then calling me every morning on his way to work? I imagined him begging me to join him and his friends on a weekend vacation the following week? I imagined him driving hours out of our way to introduce me to his mom and stepdad a month after we met?

I wonder how he'd treat a woman he was actually interested in ...

There is always an excepteption to the rule, rarely. No need to get upset!

I think if you read through this thread, you'll find I'm not really an exception.

I'm not upset in general. I just think your comment was a little silly.

Im_NotPerfect

I have two brothers... was in the Army ... and generally keep more male friends than female; so yeah, I see sex differently than some women. I don't hold the Va-JJ hostage and I dont use it as a weapon of mass destruction either.

I dont see how holding out for months, years etc is going to make him want you more.

Just use common sense and protection. Easy enough, right?

I view sex the same way. How does holding out on the guy benefit you?? I want it just as much, and seriously, I can only keep so many batteries around the house. I find other ways to torture my husband rather than withholding sex....for instance I INSIST on doing the cooking for a night....

sdereski

HEY YOU PEOPLE!!! WOMEN THINK ABOUT SEX TOO. DID YOU KNOW THAT?! I mean really, this whole, "men think about sex a lot." thing is a load of bullsh!t... it's not just men. And the idea that women should hold their vaginas hostage to some kind of emotional connection or monetary reimbursement is disgusting. We all have sex organs, everyone should practice using them, get good at using them, and enjoy them. REGARDLESS OF WHETHER OR NOT IT'S AN INNIE OR AN OUTIE.

totally agree. I am not into playing games. At my age, if I want something, I go for it. I have no time to waste.
Having said that, the times I did, did not turn out so well. I'm thinking I scared the bejesus outta them, or they realzed they were just not into me. :ohwell:

coachblt

WOW! Reading all that has made me understand that I have old-fashioned beliefs. Maybe I should rethink all that I've thought about dating, sex and relationships.

There are 2 type of people that I'll date: 1. The relationship type and 2. The I-wanna-just-have-sex type. If I start dating a woman I feel can be a lasting relationship, I won't make a move until we are ready...and I'm not talking physically. My last relationship...8 months. Let me tell you...it was something else and I'm glad we waited. If she's a lady I don't see a relationship with but I find attractive, I'll want to sack her immediately.

IronmanPanda

I wait along time until i decide to hook up with a guy, shows that hes worth it. If the guy is only into having sex with you then chuck that freak out your life. Hes propberly a man *kitten* with STDs no doubt and no soul and has 0 to talk about, most of the time those ones are terrible in bed because they are selfishn and its over in 1min. Wait for a real man, a gentleman who will not only like you for you but if the time comes and your ready to hook up, he will be so worth it

Bwahahahaa....

forgtmenot

Most guys will have sex on the first date if you let them. That's just a man for you IMO... My boyfriend and knew each other before we started dating (although not very well) and he tried to have sex with me on the first date. I just told him that I like him too much to ruin everything having sex too soon. Almost 3 years later and we are still together. So, I don't think it says anything about the guy other than that he is attracted to you. I think if you want more than a one night stand though it is important to wait, because no matter what he tells you, he won't think of you the same if you give it up too soon.

Thank you for lumping us all together. How about I return the favor and state all women's views on sex are totally misguided and outdated?

I, as a male (last time I checked), think that the connection is more important. I find people funny who think using sex as a carrot leading into a more meaningful relationship works. The relationship will work regardless when you chooses to bump uglies.

EXACTLY....whether i wait 3 hrs, 3 weeks, 3 months if the connection is not there swapping scents in the bedroom is not going to change that.

I wasn't trying to lump you all together, that has just been my experience with men. I don't think sex is a carrot leading to a more meaningful relationship at all. If the relationship isn't going to work, it isn't going to work, but I'd rather at least feel it will go somewhere and feel like I actually know the person before I have sex with them for the first time. I actually asked my boyfriend if he would have thought of me differently had we had sex on the first date and he said he would have thought I did that with everyone and probably wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone like that. So, sorry but I don't agree. Sure some men don't care whether a girl sleeps with everyone in town or not, but some men do.

dlyeates

I guess I'm old fashioned that a relationship should be built on the grounds of communication and friendship without sex and intimacy getting in the way especially at the beginning. Of course, I also believe that sex should only be a part of a committed long term relationship (I believe it should be marriage but since my hubby and I did it the first time when we were only engaged but 6 months before the wedding decided to wait and make the wedding special).

Call me silly, old fashioned or out of touch but I'm only 36 years old, held these beliefs in my early 20s and have been married for 10 years and still like him (most days hahaha). So obviously we're doing something right. Just another viewpoint to think about.

determinedbutlazy

It totally depends on my agenda. If I'm out there looking to get laid and have some fun, I have no problem hooking up on the first date... Because honestly, there probably won't be another.

If I'm meeting someone I've been talking to online or through text first, I will make more of an effort to make a legitimate personal connection with them on the date... If it doesn't happen then I'm not likely to sleep with them.

The best was my long distance bf in the states...We'd been "dating" online our first official "date" was the drive from the airport to a hotel.

IronmanPanda

What I usually like to do is date someone for at least 90 days, build an intense emotional connection and then find out the sex is horrible and then kick them to the curb.

_binary_jester_

<snip>
Most guys will have sex on the first date if you let them. That's just a man for you IMO... My boyfriend and knew each other before we started dating (although not very well) and he tried to have sex with me on the first date. I just told him that I like him too much to ruin everything having sex too soon. Almost 3 years later and we are still together. So, I don't think it says anything about the guy other than that he is attracted to you. I think if you want more than a one night stand though it is important to wait, I wasn't trying to lump you all together, that has just been my experience with men. I don't think sex is a carrot leading to a more meaningful relationship at all. If the relationship isn't going to work, it isn't going to work, but I'd rather at least feel it will go somewhere and feel like I actually know the person before I have sex with them for the first time. I actually asked my boyfriend if he would have thought of me differently had we had sex on the first date and he said he would have thought I did that with everyone and probably wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone like that. So, sorry but I don't agree. Sure some men don't care whether a girl sleeps with everyone in town or not, but some men do.

...and I totally view things differently than your boyfriend. if I met someone and we slept together on the first date, I don't assume she does that on EVERY first date.
Well unless I met her on AdultFriendFinder...

HMD7703

Sure some men don't care whether a girl sleeps with everyone in town or not, but some men do.

WOAH - sleeping with ONE guy on the first date does NOT mean that you sleep with the whole town!

Listen women, you need to stop judging other women. If you don't believe in it, cool; if you do, cool. That is up to you. Men don't call each other *kitten* when they sleep with a chick they just met.

And just to be real - next time you tell your bf / hubby that some chick is a *kitten*... watch for the slight smile when he says, "OMG babe, that is sooo gross". Just sayin.

Banks01

I wonder many friend requests misskortney will get with that comment! lol

haha


I'd be worried if he didnt, esp with all the virtual stuff that happens so quickly these days.


Oh and btw, Ive met women with a libido as strong and stronger than mine..

Tiggerrick

Sex is fun and feels good regardless of the date #.