Why don't I get hit on?
This is a semi-joke and semi-serious.
I'm working on my self-esteem, which has always been crappy but is improving.
The thing is, here on MFP I am quite fortunate that I have lots and lots of very supportive friends who give fabulous compliments.
They say that I am attractive, but in real life...
no one looks my way.
Is it just me, or is that odd? I mean, even taking into account the fact that I am probably more photogenic than actually good looking, it still seems a bit odd that no one EVER looks at me in real life if I'm considered, at least on here, to be not bad looking.
It just doesn't make sense.
Thoughts?
ETA - I was *not* fishing for compliments. I was simply curious. Also, I don't really want to be picked up, just noticed.
I'm working on my self-esteem, which has always been crappy but is improving.
The thing is, here on MFP I am quite fortunate that I have lots and lots of very supportive friends who give fabulous compliments.
They say that I am attractive, but in real life...
no one looks my way.
Is it just me, or is that odd? I mean, even taking into account the fact that I am probably more photogenic than actually good looking, it still seems a bit odd that no one EVER looks at me in real life if I'm considered, at least on here, to be not bad looking.
It just doesn't make sense.
Thoughts?
ETA - I was *not* fishing for compliments. I was simply curious. Also, I don't really want to be picked up, just noticed.
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Replies
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Dont know why it is for you .....your absolutely stunning Maybe guys are intimidated
Ive wondered this for myself tho......Guys never approach me in RL :ohwell:0 -
Boys can be shy.0
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I'm afraid you're going to hit me over the head with a big club and carry me off to the cave.
j/k. I think people do look at you, you just don't notice.0 -
yeah I don't get hit on in rl either so unfortunately have no insight.0
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Dont know why it is for you .....your absolutely stunning Maybe guys are intimidated
Ive wondered this for myself tho......Guys never approach me in RL :ohwell:
I am totally agreeing with this. I get hit on all the time here, but not so much in real life. I also have 2 small children that are with me ALOT. They probably are secretly crushing you and are just afraid to say anything. You are beautiful, Cory and don't allow ANYONE to tell you different!!!!0 -
I would be willing to put money on it that you do get looked at and noticed - frequently but you are just not noticing it.
Add to that, some guys are shy and may not be comfortable approaching you as you are an attractive woman.0 -
yeah I don't get hit on in rl either so unfortunately have no insight.
ditto
ETA:no guys hitting on me either0 -
yeah I don't get hit on in rl either so unfortunately have no insight.
Sorry I came here to see what the answer is since I don't ever nor have ever been hit on in real life.0 -
I bet you don't notice it when they do. Most guys don't feel the need to club you over the head and drag you off as their method of expressing interest. Makes it harder to notice them when they're subtle like that...:laugh:0
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Dont know why it is for you .....your absolutely stunning Maybe guys are intimidated
Ive wondered this for myself tho......Guys never approach me in RL :ohwell:
This ^^^
I'd probably be intimidated
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I love hitting on people.. got my equalizer in my handlebars just for that purpose....0
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You know. I got hit on waaaay more often before I started this. Now that I am improving my body, I can't get anyone to look my way. I don't get it. I've begun developing this paranoia that my age is catching up to me.0
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Keep working on your self esteem. I'm not even your friend and I can feel your lack of it in every post. That's not to say I don't need lots of work on my own self esteem, it's just an honest observation.0
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Have you looked in the mirror, Shan? You're stunning!Dont know why it is for you .....your absolutely stunning Maybe guys are intimidated
Ive wondered this for myself tho......Guys never approach me in RL :ohwell:
And for the record, it's not that I want to be picked up or anything - I'm just going through a divorce - but it does seem odd that I don't get looked at or anything.0 -
Do you actually want to be hit on?
ETA: Ha! I was right. Just 1/2 second too late:)0 -
You are beautiful, I bet they're just scared!0
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i've always wondered this about myself. as much as i want to change about myself, i think i look pretty good when i decide to dress up and go out. i always figure it's cause im with my boyfriend but there's been a few times where i've been out alone or with girlfriends or when i'm going to the bathroom or waiting somewhere alone...and i still get nothing! >=(0
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I think I'd just like to be noticed, really.Do you actually want to be hit on?0 -
Men look for the easy prey. You may intimidate them in some way. And by the way... they look... you just don't see them doing it.
Sweetie you are gorgeous.0 -
Have you looked in the mirror, Shan? You're stunning!Dont know why it is for you .....your absolutely stunning Maybe guys are intimidated
Ive wondered this for myself tho......Guys never approach me in RL :ohwell:
And for the record, it's not that I want to be picked up or anything - I'm just going through a divorce - but it does seem odd that I don't get looked at or anything.
How you doin'? :laugh:0 -
Is it possible that you're getting hit on and you just don't realize it? Everyone tells me I'm extremely naive because I believe that when men are talking to me, they are just being nice and/or friendly. Men have to be rather obvious (ie, catcalls) in order for me to recognize their motives.
My brothers and boyfriend keep saying that, "if they're talking to you, they're hitting on you," although I don't entirely believe that. But it may be true. So, do strange men talk to you in public? Then you're probably getting hit on without realizing it.0 -
You are quite, quite lovely with a great sense of humour (as I've seen on the boards here.) I would think it is one of two things:
1) They are and you don't recognize it.
2) You are subconsciously giving off "don't look/touch" vibes from the lack of self-confidence.
Edited to add: looks like others have written the same thing :flowerforyou:0 -
Yep, I'm betting you don't notice or 'they' don't get caught. 0
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If you want a guys attention, just do that yoga move you're doing in your profile pics, and you'll have guys hitting on you left and right. 0
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Guys look...they ALWAYS look. Sometimes you can catch them in the mirror when they don't expect you to see their reflection in the gym. They're just sneaky about it. And definitely intimidated. They probably figure since you're so pretty, in such great shape, and so awesome that you already have a boyfriend.
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Men look for the easy prey. You may intimidate them in some way. And by the way... they look... you just don't see them doing it.
Sweetie you are gorgeous.
^^This0 -
No, they really don't.Is it possible that you're getting hit on and you just don't realize it? Everyone tells me I'm extremely naive because I believe that when men are talking to me, they are just being nice and/or friendly. Men have to be rather obvious (ie, catcalls) in order for me to recognize their motives.
My brothers and boyfriend keep saying that, "if they're talking to you, they're hitting on you," although I don't entirely believe that. But it may be true. So, do strange men talk to you in public? Then you're probably getting hit on without realizing it.0 -
This is probably going to sound really conceited, but I get hit on pretty frequently. I don't think I'm a supermodel or anything, but I think it's because I carry myself with a lot of confidence, usually have a smile on my face, and I think men (and people in general) are drawn to that. Women often strike up conversations with me as well.
I had this friend who was SUPER cute, great figure, really good looking all around, but she almost NEVER got approached by men. Why? It was 100% her attitude. I kinda observed her once when I saw her at the store but she hadn't seen me yet, and I realized that she was just totally unapproachable even though she was very attractive. Her resting face said to me "I'm a b!tch, don't even try talking to me" and she just didn't carry herself in a way that made her open to a stranger talking to her.
Now, I'm NOT saying that's the situation with you, because obviously I don't know you in real life, but I think the way we carry ourselves and present ourselves in public is like 95% responsible for who approaches us and how often it happens. Strangely enough, once I stopped hanging out with that particular friend (turns out, she actually was a b!tch), I noticed SO much more attention from people in general. A man hitting on me, a woman complimenting my outfit, just like night and day, because I think her attitude rubbed off on me when we were friends.0 -
Gotta admit as a guy i wouldnt approach a girl either, dont forget we rate ourselves n it takes a lot of confidence for i dunno a five to approach a nine if that makes sense0
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Hahaha!If you want a guys attention, just do that yoga move you're doing in your profile pics, and you'll have guys hitting on you left and right.
Too bad that's hard to do in the crowded free weights area of my gym... or at the grocery store - it makes it kind of hard to push the cart...0
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