Why don't I get hit on?

unmitigatedbadassery

People hide behind then anonymity of the internet - I've had several "pick ups" on here - one of them took - but in public I get nothing, nor do I expect it. I find that the best asset you can posses is confidence. That's hot.

Farfourah

You probably are, and don't realize it.

Or it's because you're really really really really tall, they're intimidated by you.

The guys you want to hit on you, might not.

You're gorgeous,though, so don't fret.(=

So when I wear my 6" heels and I walk around towering over everyone at 6'4" that probably doesn't help things, does it?

LOL! Probably not, try flats =P
I'd be about 5'7 with 6" inch heels, I'd rather be in your shoes ((
And the first thing a guy looks at when he sees a tall female is to see if she's wearing heels...I'd expect it to be a turn on to find that your that tall without heels....you should go to an NBA game, maybe you'll find a husband and make super children! =P

Anomalia

I get starred at a lot but never hit on so the only thing I can assume is that I'm very odd looking. Sigh. I'll never get a boyfriend.

LilRedRooster

I've come to realize that being hit on comes down to the personality and vibes you exude. There are certain vibes that people have that they put out, whether they realize it or not, and that is what people hit on, no necessarily the looks alone.

RoboLikes

Right there with you, I never get hit on. Forever alone :sad:

pat6250

Growing up, my two best friends were 5'10" and legs up to HERE, and 5'11" and long blonde hair. I could have been invisible, for all the notice I got. But when I was alone, guys asked me out all the time. Going solo, I did fine. So, who are you hanging out with?

BlaireV

I don't know you, but I have seen you around on the forums and I think you're beautiful and very inspirational.
With that said, many men simply aren't confident enough to approach a beautiful/confident woman out of fear of rejection. You have to consider all the possibilities - don't assume the negative. There could be a guy who finds you attractive who doesn't even consider hitting on you, because he may believe you're already taken

samcee

How do you know they're checking you out or not if you're not looking at them? Its all about eye contact isn't it?

I've come to realize that being hit on comes down to the personality and vibes you exude. There are certain vibes that people have that they put out, whether they realize it or not, and that is what people hit on, no necessarily the looks alone.

I agree on this and its how you carry yourself and not regarding purely on looks. I have this friend who constantly flicks her hair, puts on a flirty smile and will talk to everyone at the bar and she gets hit on a lot. I wonder why -_-

Lolli1986

I don't get hit on either... I could SMILE at a guy across the bar and not get hit on.

I get yelled at out of car windows or comments when they're walking by in GROUPS, but no, very rarely actually spoken TO, let alone asked out, or even asked to dance.

I put it down to a lack of confidence in men. Even only 8 years ago they WOULD approach me, but something is wrong now. (no, it's not that i've gotten too old... i'm 26 and told that i could pass for 22)

Something is really wrong when they don't respond to eye contact and SMILING.

CoryIda

Growing up, my two best friends were 5'10" and legs up to HERE, and 5'11" and long blonde hair. I could have been invisible, for all the notice I got. But when I was alone, guys asked me out all the time. Going solo, I did fine. So, who are you hanging out with?

Well, I am the one who is 5'10" with legs up to HERE, but to be honest, I don't really hang out with anyone.

eig6

I always felt the same way. My friends and sisters and cousins etc... would say I was very pretty but I never got hit on so I thought they were always just being nice. I would sit and wait and watch as my crushes asked out other girls as I faded into the background...Finally I got sick of it and I asked a guy i liked out. Right on the spot, the moment I met him, at a greyhound bus station no less! Weve been together for 2 years. I found out late from my boyfiend that he had been stealing glances at me too but didnt want to come over and be a creeper (what does that make me?) haha! Dont wait for them, boys are just as shy.

Musikelektronik

I don't get hit on either... I could SMILE at a guy across the bar and not get hit on.

I get yelled at out of car windows or comments when they're walking by in GROUPS, but no, very rarely actually spoken TO, let alone asked out, or even asked to dance.

I put it down to a lack of confidence in men. Even only 8 years ago they WOULD approach me, but something is wrong now. (no, it's not that i've gotten too old... i'm 26 and told that i could pass for 22)

Something is really wrong when they don't respond to eye contact and SMILING.

Maybe it's an Aussie thing? You'd probably have more attention than you can handle if you did that in the States.

r1ghtpath

i didn't read the entire thread, so i apologize if this has been said a bunch.

if you're not trying to catch someone's eye then more than likely they're looking and noticing you, but also noticing that you're not looking at them. very FEW men will do the cold approach to someone that has NOT maintained eye contact for at least a second.

look someone in the eye, smile and see what happens :-)

Mina133842

I say it's the approachable fun-loving people that get hit on the most - even at 75-100 pounds overweight, going to a bar with the girls, I would get hit on, and one of the "thinner" girls wouldn't, and would wonder why - but there was just something about her- and she's the nicest person, but ....maybe it was the Mom Jeans?! lol

that said, I know you have a son, and I think if he's with you that would be one reason - not him in particular, just not appropriate.. as for the comments on getting drunk and THEN being hit on- it's because you lost the inhibitions you had, felt a little freer or something, maybe got a little reckless....so put on your best little outfit, and rock your stuff - and HAVE FUN. literally just have a ball - and you'll see them banging down your door!

r1ghtpath

someone else commented that a lot of it has to do with vibes you send and how you carry/ present yourself. i agree with this!!

i know that when I'm out anywhere with my 5 kids, or i look like i'm in a hurry, or a 'don't mess with me attitude' i am pretty much left alone by all people, and especially men. there are rare times when i have all 5 kids out and we're having a great time and men will approach me and compliment me and the kids. but, it doesn't happen all that often.

now, when i'm out without kids, or i'm with friends and we look like we're having fun...... it's a different story. but, again, it comes down to sending out the right vibes and catching people's eyes..........

do you have any single girlfriends you could get dressed up and go out with?? sometimes this is the best way to get noticed! :-)

ECA67

I get hit on all the time but in real life I've been uneasy with myself since I've gained weight. When I was younger I turned heads everywhere but now I am getting older and feel a lack in confedence.

crisanderson27

The thing is, here on MFP I am quite fortunate that I have lots and lots of very supportive friends who give fabulous compliments.

They say that I am attractive, but in real life...

no one looks my way.

Is it just me, or is that odd? I mean, even taking into account the fact that I am probably more photogenic than actually good looking, it still seems a bit odd that no one EVER looks at me in real life if I'm considered, at least on here, to be not bad looking.

It just doesn't make sense.

Small world...my girlfriend lives in Tucson off Speedway between Pantano and Kolb. I'm down there every weekend lol (usually Friday nights...we go up to Pockets a lot). So if you ever see a green and gold two wheeled blur that looked like it was wearing a flat black helmet...give a honk or wave, it was probably me .

On topic...I've spent a lot of my life single...and am told the same things you are. You know...how great a catch you are for (insert xxxxx reason here). Yet there I was...single anyhow.

I still haven't made sense of it. I ask my girlfriend why she's attracted to me...both in a physical and personality sense. Her reasons mirror those of my female friends on MFP. Is it the truth? Well...she's quite attractive (to put it lightly lol)...very intelligent...and could have her pick...not to mention having a rather honest personality.

So...I've got to believe her lol.

Still makes no sense to me though. I know the rest of the female population just flat isn't interested for the most part...lol.

Oh...and for the record, if we had run into each other in a social setting...both single...you're certainly attractive enough that I would have approached you. Also...you've got to know that Tucson guys aren't known for their intelligence hun...lol. You may end up having to do the approaching down there .


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liljgrafix

U know i never got hit on.. but maybe its cuz i never thought i deserved to get hit on. people pick up on confidence.. and i never had any

EdieBird

I never got hit on until after I started dating my fiancee. Silly men. The ring means NOT available.

I was told once, before I met my guy, that I'm "intimidating." 5'8" with long legs and real boobs, defined waist even when I'm not at my best weight, usually smiling or laughing and trying ot be agreeable and supportive. Not sure exactly WHAT's intimidating about me. LOL

I figure it was just fate keeping me single til I found the right person.

What I can't figure out is why my fiancee never had any luck with women. He's tall, good-looking, easy-going, he was looking for an honest-to-goodness relationship, steady job, and heck, he'll even wash dishes or clean the bathroom without being asked! I always hear women saying they want someone like that, but when there's one RIGHT THERE, he's not "exciting" enough?

Sianarella

I never used to, but then I would just go out with friends and not think about it - when I didn't think about it guys would hit on me.
If you go out thinking you want to be hit on people pick up on that and get scared off, if you go out relaxed and not worried about it, people get drawn to you.

sunkisses

I'm working on my self-esteem, which has always been crappy but is improving.

This is where it's at. Once you actually do exude self-confidence, you'll have other people's interest. I think I'm reasonably attractive woman, not even mainstream gorgeous. But inside, I feel amazing most of the time. I always have. Even when I was big, I was a seriously big fan of myself. People ALWAYS talk to me, men are very often interested in me. Yet, I don't think I look any better than the average woman. I just feel good about who I am and it shows.

The thing is, here on MFP I am quite fortunate that I have lots and lots of very supportive friends who give fabulous compliments.

They say that I am attractive, but in real life...

no one looks my way.

It's because you don't believe it yourself yet.
I wrote a blog that touches on this subject.
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/sunkisses/view/just-me-talking-about-myself-again-151693

BerryH

I wasn't hit on when I was 20-something, slim and attractive, it's never going to happen now I'm 40-something, overweight and saggy! I'm not a real eye contact or smile at strangers person.

daddiod

I think its intimidation sometime. We figure some one like you has a BF and wouldn't want to talk to me. Most of good guys are shy over all. We are not all looking to jump in bed and a lot of time that's the attitude we get from women. I also would have a hard time approaching you. As for this site I have the same problem getting friends. Im not looking for dates but support. But do not get anyones help as they are worried I'm looking for dates here, Not dates just help. :-(

i_love_vinegar

Maybe you are intimidating or putting out a "desperate" (as in looking as to whether men are looking at you instead of not thinking of it) vibe. Or you are just oblivious. My mom has always been rather oblivious and would be shocked when guys would say stuff such as, "I've been trying to ask you out for four years!" and at 64 she still gets hit on regularly (and doesn't seem to realize it although it's quite obvious to me and everyone around her :laugh: )

Another thing is You are a pretty girl (so please stop doubting yourself, especially since you will probably regret it when you are older and look back and realize "I actually was pretty!") but maybe change up your hair, makeup, and clothing. I think it ages you a bit and maybe makes it look like you "aren't interested" in dating.

Good luck ^_^

cms6300

First, you're a somewhat prolific poster so I've read quite a few of your posts. Having said that - I'm a fan. Unfortunately, you consistently describe yourself with terms such as average, ok, adequate, decent, etc.. My wife would attest to the fact that i carry myself with confidence to spare - but really i'm just your everyday, normal jacka**. If i accomplished half of what you have i would walk through every door like I owned the fu**ing place - and you should too. The handful of guys that you'll intimidate will be mowed down by those you attract.
Have a great day!

ZombieChaser

First, you're a somewhat prolific poster so I've read quite a few of your posts. Having said that - I'm a fan. Unfortunately, you consistently describe yourself with terms such as average, ok, adequate, decent, etc.. My wife would attest to the fact that i carry myself with confidence to spare - but really i'm just your everyday, normal jacka**. If i accomplished half of what you have i would walk through every door like I owned the fu**ing place - and you should too. The handful of guys that you'll intimidate will be mowed down by those you attract.
Have a great day!

Exactly this! Well said cms

chuckmcm

If you are still reading your thread (I don't blame you if your tuned out already).

Just make sure you are making eye contact and smile.

I am no stunner and really no reason for any gal to be attracted to me, but I find the most attractive (from my own subconscious point of view) women I meet are the ones who when I make eye contact (when just passing or wherever) they give me a little smile. Enough to now that they are smiling at me and not in the "I want to have your baby", just in a sense that they recognize that I am looking at them (not staring, just the passing glance) and perhaps some acknowledgement that I have given them some positive energy.

Ok and for the record - record this as a "hit" on you.

nataliefallbach

I bet you get hit on and never notice! Hitting on a girl for most guys isn't some stupid line, they usually want to just try to talk to you, or to a friend near you so that they can eventually get into a conversation with you. I am no guy expert but I have always had a TON of guy friends. The guy you want to hit on you is usually the shy one in the corner, the aka "nice guy" who may not approach you. Turn the tides, go talk to them!!!!! I bet you will see that they talk to you.

carol989

I think it has a lot to do with the situation, sometimes flirting just seems inappropriate, (like at a funeral, lol)

Tybalt71

That will teach ya hun (OP) to post this up in future lol, u know i love ya, now your getting psycho-analyzed by some peeps who are in no position to be judging you anyway-Ty