Why don't I get hit on?

mauryr

"Why don't I get hit on?" is a question we guys ask ourselves, too - and except for the lucky few ideal male specimens who get hit on explicitly, this has a different dynamic from the male perspective - and it dovetails with the female experience, from what I've been reading here.

The question translated for us guys (those of us who are mere mortals) is more like "why don't girls seem receptive to my initial advance?" - and "initial advance" might be as simple as first eye contact across the room. "Seeming receptive" to something like that is just holding eye contact for about half a second, and not scowling or freezing - or instantly looking away. Even simply continuing your conversation, but with an easy smile is a cue for further engagement.

There are other signals like this. They are subtle, but important.

And, like you, I've been through a divorce, fairly recently. Once the funk lifted, my results improved dramatically. Losing the weight helped too, I'm sure.

victoria4321

Move to nyc. Construction workers and delivery guys hit on anything that moves around here

CoryIda

Move to nyc. Construction workers and delivery guys hit on anything that moves around here

Hm...

(taking notes)

Musikelektronik

Besides the cold cut man in shoprite I get zero action..LOL

Try a different store.

nicehormones

Maybe you are stand offish. Don't feel too bad though, I always only get hit on by creepers and old men. Like a guy at work the other day who after asked me where the nearest strip club was... Like I know??

CoryIda

Maybe you are stand offish. Don't feel too bad though, I always only get hit on by creepers and old men. Like a guy at work the other day who after asked me where the nearest strip club was... Like I know??

There are at least 5 within an 3 mile radius of my house. I know where they all are. I don't go to them, but living in the ghetto does mean living near lots of interesting businesses.

pepper396

I have the very same issue... sometimes they say it is the way we think and need to be positive yada yada... "confidence is sexy?" I tried all of these things. GUYS ONLY HIT ON ME "ONLINE." Never have they hit on me in person!!! EVER unless DRUNK! LOL

Saruman_w

I don't have the guts to approach most women so it's probably the same thing for them.

I also don't hit get on ( IRL anyway) but sometimes I might notice a lady looking at me. Or at least I THINK they're looking at me. Could be just my imagination and they're just spotting something behind me.

ElizabethRoad

Do you go to places where you would get hit on?

Do you walk fast and purposefully? Maybe you aren't giving them a chance. I get noticed when I'm walking along normally, but if I'm really focused on "get into this store, buy my stuff, get out", nobody's going to bother.

Do you make eye contact with people? I have always been pretty bold about doing that, and it seems to get a lot of attention.

By the way, try this: if you're walking past someone and he's standing in front of a reflective surface like a store window, look at his reflection after you pass. He's watching...

CoryIda

I don't have the guts to approach most women so it's probably the same thing for them.

I also don't hit get on ( IRL anyway) but sometimes I might notice a lady looking at me. Or at least I THINK they're looking at me. Could be just my imagination and they're just spotting something behind me.

I just checked out your pictures...
They are definitely looking at you. :flowerforyou:

lifening

Everyone is always acting like they are not interested in everyone else. It's just the way people are now-a-days. As long as you perceive them as "together" and "happy", then they get what they want. It's all pretty superficial. It's so odd that there are 7 billion people in the world, yet many of us are single and not sharing our lives with someone else.

eriemer

It's the reason you see very "unattractive" people with super hot spouses! One of my friends: male, 6.5, 400 lbs, hairy, and sometimes smelly always had hot girls hanging all over him. Why you ask? He was the happiest, funniest, most honest, very curtious, and most friendly person I've ever met. He always oozed with charisma and personality. If your a Debbie Downer, it's hard to look attractive. Also if your a loud obnoxious person, your actually repelling men.

I have another friend who before I met her I would see her at work and think, gosh she's one of the most attractive women I've ever seen. Then I met her and started hanging out with her. She was loud, rude at times, would invite herself to things, was *****y, gossiped, was inappropriate, caused a lot of drama, always thought her way is best, always has to be right, and always felt sorry for herself. To this day she hasn't had one long term relationship. I've known her for close to 10 yrs.

What I'm getting at is being attractive is not only on the outside, it's on the inside too!

CoryIda

It's the reason you see very "unattractive" people with super hot spouses! One of my friends: male, 6.5, 400 lbs, hairy, and sometimes smelly always had hot girls hanging all over him. Why you ask? He was the happiest, funniest, most honest, very curtious, and most friendly person I've ever met. He always oozed with charisma and personality. If your a Debbie Downer, it's hard to look attractive. Also if your a loud obnoxious person, your actually repelling men.

I have another friend who before I met her I would see her at work and think, gosh she's one of the most attractive women I've ever seen. Then I met her and started hanging out with her. She was loud, rude at times, would invite herself to things, was *****y, gossiped, was inappropriate, caused a lot of drama, always thought her way is best, always has to be right, and always felt sorry for herself. To this day she hasn't had one long term relationship. I've known her for close to 10 yrs.

What I'm getting at is being attractive is not only on the outside, it's on the inside too!

Okay...

But I am fairly certain that I am a pretty nice person.
Definitely shy, very stubborn, but generally nice.
I genuinely like people.
I don't *think* I am hideous on the inside.

Coyla

I don't have the guts to approach most women so it's probably the same thing for them.

I also don't hit get on ( IRL anyway) but sometimes I might notice a lady looking at me. Or at least I THINK they're looking at me. Could be just my imagination and they're just spotting something behind me.


I just checked out your pictures...
They are definitely looking at you.

Ditto. They're checking you out.

Farfourah

You probably are, and don't realize it.

Or it's because you're really really really really tall, they're intimidated by you.

The guys you want to hit on you, might not.

You're gorgeous,though, so don't fret.(=

CoryIda

You probably are, and don't realize it.

Or it's because you're really really really really tall, they're intimidated by you.

The guys you want to hit on you, might not.

You're gorgeous,though, so don't fret.(=

So when I wear my 6" heels and I walk around towering over everyone at 6'4" that probably doesn't help things, does it?

eriemer

You could always take up bar sports like pool and darts. Guys like that kind of stuff. Oh and beer. Guys like beer and straight guys like girls. So girls who like beer is like winning the lotto. Oh and Sports, find a sport you like, then you can talk sports, while shooting pool, and drinking beer. Instant perfect girlfriend. If it backfires you gain a whole lot of guy friends, thus increasing your social status making you more desirable.

TriciaZ944

I don't get hit on either. I wouldn't worry about it you are beautiful and men are missing out!

CarolinaButterfly

May sound wired but ignore guys..they love a chase.

MiniMichelle

Do you make eye contact? You know the "come hither" eyes?